“Huh?” Sylvie said, echoing my thoughts.
“It’s a movie.” Aidan shrugged. “With a very scary penguin man in it.”
“Oh. I don’t think I want to see a movie with a scary penguin man in it.”
“I wouldn’t let you see that movie, even if you wanted to, sweetheart.”
Before she could argue—because telling a girl she can’t do something only makes her want to do it more—I asked, “So, you had fun with your dad?”
She nodded, smiling, and it was the first positive answer I’d gotten from her regarding Cal. “Yeah. It was good.”
“That’s great, sweetie.”
“Listen, Sylvie.” Aidan turned to her, looking very serious. “How would you feel about going back to school?” I didn’t know why he decided to talk to her about this while I was present, but I knew it meant I’d earned his trust.
She stared up at him for a second and I didn’t like the hint of anxiety I caught in her eyes. “Won’t … won’t you be sad without me?”
Understanding dawned and I saw it did for Aidan too. “I’m happy when you’re happy, sweetheart. And if going back to school would make you happy, I’ll be over the moon.”
She glanced at me, seeming unsure, and I gave her a little nod of encouragement. Turning back to Aidan, she nodded. “I want to go back.”
Aidan grinned and Sylvie’s whole being appeared to relax. All this time she hadn’t wanted to say she’d like to go back to school because she thought her uncle would be sad for her to leave him during the day. Oh, this kid! I wanted to hug her so tightly.
Her uncle wrapped his arm around her and pulled her deep into his side for a cuddle. “Then we’ll get you back to school.”
After that, Sylvie was a bundle of excitement, barely sitting still to eat dessert, and not giving us a chance to digest it when she shot over to Aidan’s computer. “Uncle Aidan, let Nora hear the music for the dancers.”
“Sylvie, we’ve just eaten.”
“I’ll let her hear, then.”
“You know,” he slipped off his stool, walking quickly toward her, “not to touch the computer.”
She grinned cheekily at him. “It made you come over, though.”
I snorted and then tried to cover the sound of my laughter as Aidan shot me a look. “Sorry,” I mouthed, but he shook his head, a small smile playing around his gorgeous lips.
“Is it this one?” he asked Sylvie as he clicked on something.
“Yeah.”
I hopped off the stool and wandered over to them but before I reached them, music flared into the room, halting me.
I didn’t know a lot about music, only what I liked to listen to. Aidan’s was instrumental. It started slow, melancholic, with violins and cellos. And the piano. And the oboe. Goosebumps prickled along my skin as the tempo picked up with drums and the strings grew more wailing and violent. Then suddenly, joined by an electric dance bass, it became soaring, rushing, and made my body wanted to fly around the room.
Eventually, it trailed off to a whimper and my eyes flew to Aidan’s. Something darkened in his expression, something like longing, and I knew it was mirrored in my own. “That was stunning,” I whispered, in awe of him.
“Thank you,” he said, his voice a little hoarse. He cleared it. “It’s for an international dance group called The Company. I know one of the directors and she asked me to write the music for their upcoming show.”
I’d heard of The Company. I’d seen them on television. They were amazing! “Aidan, that’s wonderful. Your music is wonderful.”
He gave me a boyish smile that made me almost forget Sylvie was in the room.
But then she pleaded, “Play the piano for Nora, Uncle Aidan, please!”
“Maybe later.”
“You’ll forget later.” Sylvie pouted.
Since I’d been longing to hear him play the instrument from the moment I saw it in his apartment, I said, “Actually, I’d quite like to hear you play if you wouldn’t mind?”
Aidan shook his head, but he smiled. “Ganged up on.”
Anticipation held me frozen in place as he slid onto the piano bench. “What would you like to hear?”
I was about to ask him to play an original piece when Sylvie demanded, “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road.”
To my confusion Aidan tensed, the amusement dimming in his eyes. “Sweetheart…”
Sylvie leaned on the piano with her elbow and cupped her face in her hand. “Please,” she said with big beguiling eyes.
I didn’t understand Aidan’s reluctance, or the sorrow that passed fleetingly across his expression, before he smoothed it away and started to play. The ballad was familiar to me only because of Angie. The Elton John song was one of her favorites. Sylvie’s choice was surprising, not only because it was way before her time, but because it was a melancholy tune about a man who gets what he always thought he wanted only to feel like it’s a life that doesn’t belong to him, and then longs for a simpler time. A simpler life.
It was a little grown up for Sylvie.
Although I liked the song, it never made me emotional the way it appeared to make Angie when she listened to it. However, watching Aidan’s fingers dance effortlessly across the keys, taking in the way he studied Sylvie in concern I felt goosebumps prickle my skin.
Something passed between uncle and niece that I didn’t understand, but it was weighed down with so much emotion I could only guess that the song had some significance in regard to Nicky.
When the music came to an end, silence fell over us all.
I wanted to reach out and draw both of them into my arms.
Before I could offer comfort, however, Sylvie drew up from the piano and announced, “I’m going to go practice on the guitar so I’ll be so good, Uncle Aidan has to put me in a song.”
She dashed out of the room, her earlier bittersweet expression apparently replaced with determination, and Aidan and I shared a tender look.
“She’s pretty awesome, huh?”
His gaze drifted to where she disappeared. “She’s Nicky. As long as I have Sylvie, I haven’t lost my Nicky. Goodbye Yellow Brick Road was Nicky’s favorite. She asked me to play it for her a few hours before she died.”
Emotion burned in my throat for him and I blinked away tears, looking out at the view over the canal so he wouldn’t see that I was a total watering pot.
“Can I get you anything else?” he asked.
It sounded like there was innuendo in his voice, quickly drying up my tears. I shot him a chiding look. “No, you may not.”
He laughed. “I didn’t mean it like that. Dirty girl.”
I bit my lip to hold back my smile but it was impossible around him. “I’ll have water, please.”
Less than a minute later, I had a bottle of water in my hand and we were seated on the corner sofa with much-needed distance between us. The sounds of Sylvie’s guitar and her sweet voice played soundtrack in the background.
I thought of last night and how close we’d gotten to making love. “Why didn’t you mention Laine before last night?” I blurted out.
Aidan frowned. “Didn’t I?”
“Nope.”
“She’s been gone a while so I guess she never really came up. Last night you got to see a shit side of her. I’m sorry. She’s actually a really good person. She’s just protective of her friends and family.”
Hmm. Protective indeed.
“How long have you known each other?”
“Since we were kids. Teenagers.”
“And you’re just friends?” I’d decided there was no point pussyfooting around it. If Aidan had a fuck buddy, I needed to know about it.
Something flickered in his eyes before he said, “Just friends.”
Suspicious, I cocked my head, studying him. “Were you always just friends?”
He sighed. “We dated when we were kids. Sixteen. Seventeen. We broke up but we stayed friends. There’s nothing to be jealous of. Believe me.”
&nb
sp; They’d dated when they were kids. Had he dumped her and she’d never gotten over him? I could be completely off-base but for someone who was “actually a really good person,” but she’d actually been a really huge bitch last night. And people were only bitchy when they were pissed off, territorial, etc.
I heard Aidan when he talked to me. I listened. He’d made it clear he wanted something more between us than sex. He wanted a relationship. However, he hadn’t mentioned whether we were exclusive, and as much as I was working on my insecurities, I still had my doubts about being able to keep his attention.
Rather than stew on those thoughts, I decided to be honest. “I know we’re taking it slow and you’re probably not used to that … so I … are you seeing anyone else, Aidan?”
His expression darkened. “No.”
At his blunt, annoyed response, I scowled. “I’m not accusing you of anything. I’m trying to get a clear picture of what’s going on between us because I’m not the kind of woman who can share.” That became very obvious to me last night.
“Laine’s a friend,” he bit out. “Just a friend. And there are no other women in the picture.”
“Why are you getting annoyed?”
“Because I thought it was pretty fucking obvious how I feel about you and you’re making me feel like you don’t trust me.”
I felt a whoosh in my belly at his words, like the feeling you get when the roller coaster you’re on plunges down the biggest dip on the track. “I do trust you. I’m just …” I looked away.
“You’re just?”
“Not used to feeling jealous,” I said.
Aidan was silent, and I continued to look out the window, afraid I’d put him off completely. Did I seem childish, naïve, possessive?
“At least you’re jealous of the living, Nora,” he said. “I’m fucking jealous of a dead man.”
My head whipped around to him, shock slackening my features. He was tense, uncomfortable, but he held my eyes.
“I’ve never cared enough before to be jealous. I’m not the type. But I’ve been jealous of Jim from the moment he led you out of that pub. I was jealous of him in that supermarket when you brushed your hair off your face and I saw his ring on your finger.”
“You didn’t even know me then.”
“No, but I wanted you. And it pissed me off that you were so young and you were already married. It didn’t seem right. Or fair. But I understand now that I know you. I would have stolen you away too, made you mine so no one else could have you.”
As beautiful as that sounded, I was also choked with guilt and sadness. “Don’t feel jealous of Jim, Aidan. I loved him for three years but I was never in love with him. He had female friends, some who flirted with him, and I never batted an eyelash. I never feared one of them taking him from me. Toward the end, I wanted it to happen. I wanted him to fall in love with someone else and leave me so I didn’t have to be the bad guy anymore.
“Laine curled her fingers into your T-shirt when she hugged you, and it was enough to make me want to throw a beer in her face. And that was before she insulted me.” I gave him a wobbly grin, not quite meeting his eyes, my fingers trembling around my bottle of water at my confession.
“Nora, look at me.”
His voice was thick with emotion and that more than his demand made me respond. “I’ve never wanted anyone the way I want you. Aye, I want you in my bed, so much it’s painful, but it’s more than that. I just want you. Here. Talking with me. In my life. Knowing I can pick up the phone and call you or touch you whenever I want. Never have I felt that way with anyone. We clear?”
We were so clear, my body reacted. My nipples hardened, tight points beneath my bra, shivers cascaded down my spine, and I wanted some part of him between my legs more than I wanted most things in this world.
The sound of Sylvie’s faint voice in the background, however, kept me from launching myself at him. So much for going slow. “We’re clear.”
“We should probably talk about something else,” he grumbled, shifting as though uncomfortable and I guessed he was as aroused as I was.
Knowing Sylvie would douse the fire somewhat, I said, “How adorable was it that Sylvie didn’t want to go back to school because she didn’t want to make you sad?”
Aidan shot me a grateful look. “Aye, she can be sweet when she’s not full of cheek.”
I laughed. “She’s smart.”
“Too smart.”
“Remember you said there’s no such thing,” I argued.
He grinned. “So I did.”
“Are you talking about me?” Sylvie suddenly appeared in the hallway by the kitchen.
Aidan looked over his shoulder at her. “Why would we be talking about you?”
“I heard my name.”
“We were talking about you going back to school.”
“Yeah?” She hurried over and threw herself on the couch between us. “When do I go back?”
And just like that, her presence calmed the tension between Aidan and me.
Later that evening as I lay in bed, having gotten home via the taxi Aidan insisted I take, I thought about this epic thing between him and me. It was epic. I didn’t even know it was possible to have so much feeling for one person. To be pulled toward him like it was completely out of my control. To want to see him every day and bury my skin against his and let the fire consume us.
And to know that he felt the same way only emphasized the power of my attraction.
I knew the smart thing to do was to take things slowly, to really get to know each other beyond the natural chemistry between us. But my God, it was going to be so much harder to slow down that I’d thought.
“So, what is it you really want to do with your life?”
I was caught off guard by the abrupt question. Aidan and I had ordered and as the waiter walked away, I settled into my chair to enjoy our first evening alone together in a while.
He leaned his elbows on the table, ducking his head to stare into my eyes in that intensely focused way that made me feel like the only person in the world. “I mean, if you’re happy working at Apple Butter, great, but you’re smart, Nora. I can’t imagine it’s enough for you.”
I shifted, feeling a little uncomfortable to be under this specific microscope. “Hitting me with the hard questions tonight, huh?”
His eyebrows rose. “I didn’t realize it was a hard question.”
In the last four weeks, we’d seen as much of each other as we could. I didn’t think it was enough for either of us but I still had my work, the kids, Seonaid, Roddy, and Angie while Aidan was juggling a number of projects and Sylvie had returned to school a little over a week ago. That had been an adjustment for the two of them.
Cal wanted to spend more time with Sylvie so Aidan had agreed to let her stay with him Friday nights and Saturday during the day. He’d also jumped on the chance for us to have a date but I’d made certain, to his visible frustration, that he knew it didn’t necessarily mean we were speeding things up. I had work in the morning.
The restaurant he’d decided on was The Dome on George Street. I’d never eaten here but the inside was even more impressive than the outside. It had Greco-Roman architecture with a Corinthian portico entrance. Inside the main dining room was a central bar with tables and chairs spread out from around it. But the eye-catching part was its domed ceiling with stained glass inserts and specialist lighting.
I’d borrowed a Ralph Lauren little black dress from Seonaid. It was figure-hugging and ended at the knees on her but at the calves on me. The black stilettos I’d gotten on sale to match gave me height but they weren’t the most comfortable. I was glad we were sitting down for most of the night.
As well as letting me borrow her dress, Seonaid had trimmed and cut my hair into a style that it would grow out of better.
Altogether, I wasn’t looking myself. Older, sexier, and I didn’t miss how taken aback Aidan was when he helped me out of my coat. His eyes had dragged down my body and ba
ck up again and at the sensual look he’d given me, I’d wondered if perhaps the dress was a mistake.
“Is it, Nora? A hard question?”
Yes, it was an incredibly difficult question. My guilt over the things I’d done hadn’t gone away because I’d met Aidan and Sylvie. In fact, even though they were supposed to be my repentance, I often thought the guilt may have worsened. Aidan gave me so much more than Jim ever had, and I’d known him all of a few months.
I was still confused, still unsure, and still not ready to face my own future. And I didn’t want to talk about it. “I’m happy at Apple Butter,” I lied.
“With your SAT scores, I somehow doubt that.”
My what? How did he …? “What?”
“It was in the file my guy gave me when I had him look into you.” He said it so blasé, like it was normal to look into people’s private lives.
I’d known about it, of course, but I hadn’t known it had been detailed enough to provide my SAT scores.
“You could get into the finest universities, if that was what you wanted,” he said.
“That costs money, Aidan.”
“We’ll find a way.”
My heart fluttered at we, but my agitation didn’t leave me. “Just leave it.”
Another eyebrow raise. “Why don’t you want to talk about this? You’ve been honest with me up until this point—why stop now?”
I looked around at the low-lit room where couples and friends and families enjoyed great-looking meals. If Aidan didn’t cease and desist on this subject, he was going to ruin my appetite. “We’re out for a nice meal. Don’t turn it into an interrogation.”
“I’ve never needed to before. You’ve been upfront with me until now.”
He sounded so disgruntled, he leaned away from the table, a scowl between his brows, his full lower lip pinched by the upper. I grinned, trying to ease the sudden tension between us.
“You look like a petulant schoolboy.”
Aidan’s lips parted in annoyance. “I’ve never been accused of petulance in my life.”
“There’s a first time for everything.” I cocked my head, enjoying teasing him. “You look like someone has taken away your favorite toy.”