The transformation in Shawna was amazing. The days at Mother Tomalina and Father James’ quickly faded into an old nightmare. Children are astonishing in that respect, able to flourish after a terrible ordeal. She no longer clung to Jobeth’s skirts. Shawna thrived in the love and affection showered on her by the group. She went everywhere with Tamara and the boys. She loved fishing with Carter or Todd for dinner, or collecting wood with Adam and Jonah. The boys would take her into town to the local store and buy her candy and ribbons for her well-kept hair. Shawna’s small face would light up with joy as she sucked reverently on a candy piece. She was no longer a pale shell of a child, but a rosy-cheeked, bright-eyed girl.
Jonah loved to throw Shawna high into the air, catching her safely in his strong arms. Jobeth smiled as she sat in the tall green grass, watching as Shawna let out full belly giggles. Everyone loved her. She was an inspiration to them all. Maybe it was because so many of them had been alone when they were her age or maybe it was simply the need to protect the five year old from the hurt they had experienced. Whatever the reason, Shawna was the inspiration for the small group of children to fix up the old house. To make it a home.
“A child shouldn’t live in a shack. Especially one about to fall in on itself,”
Alan announced one evening about two weeks after Jobeth and Shawna had come to live with them. He directed his speech to everyone as he stood up from the tattered dinner table. Secretly he wanted a nice home for both Shawna and Jobeth.
“I agree,” Tamara said with her arms folded tightly across her chest. She pushed herself away from the table, leaving her half-eaten stew. Everyone turned to her, surprised. Tamara’s affections toward Shawna continued to amaze the boys. This warm and tender spirit was not the girl they knew. “And she needs clothes. I could sew her some pretty dresses, if I had some material.”
“We’ll get some.” Alan said, firmly placing his hands on the table while carefully avoiding splinters. “We will get some material so all the girls can have new dresses.”
Tamara’s head snapped up in response to Alan. Her eyes narrowed, but she said nothing. She had longed for new dresses for some time, but no one had seemed to notice.
“An’ apples,” Jonah smiled, bouncing Shawna on his lap. “I wants to plant an apple tree right in front, so’s me and Shawna can pick an apple for breakfast every mornin’.”
“Well, Jonah,” Alan chuckled feeling proud of himself, “I’ll leave the planting to you.”
“That’s just fine by me.” Jonah smacked the palm of his hand on his free leg. “We’ll have a great big ol’ tree just drippin’ with fat, juicy apples.”
“Yummy!” squealed Shawna as she hugged Jonah around the neck. Her white face pressed firmly onto Jonah’s dark one.
She looked like the porcelain doll Adam brought home one afternoon. It was a beautiful doll that resembled Shawna, with long, blonde hair as soft as silk and bright blue eyes that closed when you laid her down. She had a dress of royal blue velvet that billowed around her porcelain knees. The dress was trimmed in white lace and matching blue ribbons went in her hair. The doll must have cost a small fortune, which Jobeth knew Adam did not have. She could not help wondering how he had been able to get the beautiful doll for the child who had never owned anything so wonderful before in her life.
“I am naming her Donna,” Shawna squealed kissing Adam squarely on his cheek.
Jobeth swallowed the lump growing in her throat. It did not matter how
Adam got the doll. Shawna deserved it. She thanked him kindly, causing him to blush red.
They all seemed to shower the little girl with gifts.
On another day Alan brought home an old, small trunk. He sanded it down and gave it to Shawna to keep her dolls and their clothes in. Shawna had never had anything so beautiful. She touched the smooth surface and began to cry softly.
“Thank you, Alan,” the child said and hugged him around the waist tightly.
Alan stiffened, unsure how to react to the child’s affection. But her thin little arms felt so warm and trusting that he relaxed and hugged her back.
As the days past Tamara and Jobeth slowly became friends, if not close friends. True to his word, Alan bought material for Jobeth and Tamara. They made clothes together and Jobeth had to admit that Tamara was an excellent seamstress. She fashioned Shawna the prettiest dresses Jobeth had ever seen, with matching ribbons to go in her hair. Jobeth loved seeing Shawna prance around in her new frocks, ribbons bouncing in two long braids down her back Tamara would clap her hands with glee while Shawna would twirl around and around, her petticoats flying high.
Jobeth could not help loving her own dresses. She made high-collared, puff-sleeved dresses that were a little extravagant, but it had been so long since she had anything nice, let alone new, that she could not hold back from the latest styles.
Tamara’s dresses were very low-cut and exposed most of her cleavage. Jobeth was mortified when Tamara returned home with a small bottle of red dye. She intended to dye her beautiful modest blue dress a brilliant red. Jobeth could not help wondering where Tamara had acquired her flamboyant taste.
All three girls blossomed in the glory of their new apparel. The boys had to admit that the women of the house looked too classy for a bunch of scallywag boys.
Jobeth liked living with the boys and Tamara. They were not her parents and Pauli, but they were the next best thing. She tried to disregard the time spent with the Johnstons. She did not want to destroy the small comforts she had escaped to.
It was a hot early morning and Jobeth and Tamara were busy washing their clothing in the lake when Jobeth’s head began to swim dizzily. She stopped scrubbing Alan’s shirt on a rock and wiped her sweaty brow with the back of her hand.
“Another spell?” Tamara asked off-handily, her hands never stopped scrubbing. She did not want to sound concerned.
Since the first day Tamara and Jobeth had locked horns, Tamara had witnessed the thin girl trying to hide her sickness more than once. Even though she hated to admit it, she had become fond of Jobeth. She was beginning to get worried. Jobeth was the only girlfriend she had ever had.
“Huh?” Jobeth had forgotten Tamara was beside her. “Oh, yes.”
“Well, I think it’s time for a doctor,” Tamara said, casually banging Oliver’s slacks across the rocks. “Damn soap, can never get this crap out of the clothes.”
Jobeth smiled weakly. Tamara’s cursing did not offend her any longer. She found Tamara’s outbursts amusing.
“Here, give them to me.” Jobeth reached for the pants and began wringing the soap out. “You can cook up a storm and you sew better than anyone I have ever seen, but you are the worst clothes washer in history, Tamara.” Jobeth breathed trying to ignore the waves of dizziness.
“Well, we can’t all be perfect,” Tamara scowled, grabbing one of Shawna’s soiled dresses from the basket of dirty clothes. She fingered the dress absently, stealing a quick glance at Jobeth. “You think I sew good?”
“Yes, the very best.” Jobeth replied fighting back the wooziness. “You could be a seamstress.”
“You don’t look so good.” Jobeth’s skin had become colorless.
“Thanks. Remind me never to give you a compliment again.” Jobeth wiped loose strands of her bun from her sweaty face.
“No, you look sick.” Tamara continued as she dipped the dress into the cool water. Jobeth stopped her scrubbing and turned her head to see Shawna’s pigtailed head bent over her dolls in the grass near by.
“Well, I have to admit I have not felt quite like myself lately,” Jobeth confided, her eyes downcast. Her hands in her lap were wet and soapy and she began to rub them on her skirt to dry them.
“Yah know,” Tamara tittered, slapping her hand on Jobeth’s back, “if you weren’t such a goody-two-shoes, I’d think you was in the family way.”
Blood drained from Jobeth’s face and she clutched the other girl’s arm.
Tamara drew back as she watched Jo
beth’s pale face turn an even ghastlier white.
“Jobeth, I was just foolin’.” Tamara fretted. She grabbed a rag from the pile of clean clothes and damped it in the stream, placing it on Jobeth’s fevered brow.
Jobeth looked at Tamara’s fearful face. Her eyes rolled back into her head and everything went black.
“Jobeth! Jobeth!”
She could feel someone tapping her face, but Jobeth would not open her eyes.
Shawna, distracted by the commotion, put her dolls down and went over to the stream where Tamara was hovering over Jobeth.
“What is wrong with Jobeth?” Shawna asked, patting Tamara’s shoulder. Fear began to crawl up Shawna’s spine. Jobeth looked like she was sleeping, but the panic rising from Tamara reminded Shawna of Donna and how she had went to sleep and never woke up.
“Shawna, go get someone quick!” Tamara did not know what to do and she was as frightened as the platinum-haired child. Shawna stood frozen to the spot not moving, her eyes fixed on Jobeth’s gray face.
In a panic, Tamara screamed, “Move it, quick!”
Shawna jumped into action and started scrambling up the hill to the house.
Jonah and Alan were outside testing the new steps they had just built.
Alan patted Jonah’s shoulder proudly, “Very good, old boy, if I do say so myself.”
“Not bad, not bad.” Jonah replied, hooking his thumbs into his suspenders.
Running up the hill madly, Shawna spotted them.
“Alan . . . Jonah!” She heaved trying to catch her breath. They turned, surprised to see Shawna’s flushed face.
Jonah bent to the exhausted girl. “Slow down, little one, what’s the matter?”
“Jobeth . . .”
“What about her?” Alan jumped in, his heart starting to beat fast. He looked where Shawna had come from and could see nothing.
“At the lake . . . she is sleeping and won’t get up,” Shawna finally spit out bent over, trying to catch her breath.
Jonah gently took Shawna’s hand in his large dark one. “You show us where she is, all right sweetheart? Yah done a good job so far, but yah gots to show us where Jobeth is.” He glanced up at Alan, hoping he had been listening to him too. He was aware of Alan’s feelings for Jobeth and did not want him to fly off the handle. Alan paid no attention to Jonah as he shifted from one leg to the other, impatiently.
Shawna, her breath coming back to her, pulled at Jonah’s hand to lead them back to Jobeth.
The lake was only down a small hill behind the house and within moments they were beside Tamara and Jobeth, who was still unconscious. Alan rushed up to them and quickly scooped up Jobeth’s frail body in his arms. She had gained some weight since she came to live with them, but she was still as light as a feather.
“Jobeth?” Alan whispered into her ear. Her head rested on his shoulder and he could feel her even breath against his cheek, warm and alive.
She stirred and let out a mumble.
“She’s coming to.” Alan called over his shoulder to the relief of the three standing there.
Alan began to soothe Jobeth with soft whispers, “Jobeth, it’s Alan. Wake up.”
Weak as a kitten, she lifted her head from his comforting shoulder. She squinted while trying to open her eyes against the bright sun.
“Alan?”
“Yes?” Alan’s voice was husky and felt trapped in his throat.
“What happened?” Jobeth looked around her. The last thing she remembered was washing clothes with Tamara.
Tamara looked down at Jobeth’s pale face, relieved she was alive. “Yah fainted. Never had anyone faint on account of my bad mouth.”
Jobeth felt ridiculous. She looked up at Alan, abashed, and struggled to sit up
.“I am so sorry,” she said, feebly trying to compose herself.
“Are you all right?” Alan’s voice was full of emotion. The smell of Jobeth’s hair, crisp and clean like the lake, lingered in his nostrils. He wanted to hold her light-brown locks up to his nose and inhale deeply. His heart ached for his sweet Jobeth. He was desolate. If anything happened to her, he wouldn’t know what to do.
Jobeth gazed into Alan’s strange green eyes; genuine concern for her welfare flooded through him so strongly she felt overwhelmed and ashamed.
“I am fine,” she murmured, avoiding those feline eyes. She tried to stand up, feeling undeserving of Alan’s affection. She didn’t deserve anyone’s care.
Not with the realization of what was wrong with her. It all made sense. Her recurring sickness and dizziness. Her missed monthlies. How long had it been since she had menstruated? At least three months. Her waist had been slowly disappearing.
How could she not know? Mama had explained what happened to a woman when she was to become a mother. Why had Jobeth not known?
Tamara had guessed, but dismissed the very notion because she believed
Jobeth to be pure. Tamara was wrong about her.
“Let’s bring our sick girl to the house,” Jonah said, hovering behind Alan like a mother hen.
Alan nodded and held on firmly to Jobeth’s shaking arms.
“No. I am able to finish my chores. Let me go please.” She pulled away abruptly. Alan flinched aware of how close he was to her.
“Jobeth, I can do the wash fine by myself. I was doin’ it alone for a long time,”
Tamara said, afraid Jobeth would faint again.
Jobeth stood up straight, her legs feeling wobbly. She walked over to Shawna and gave her a reassuring pat on the head.
“I am fine. It was just the heat,” Jobeth said, not facing the worried people in front of her. “I refuse to go and lie down when there is work to be done. Quit worrying about me and get back to your own chores.” She walked over to the laundry, grabbed the garment she had been cleaning before she fainted and continued where she left off, not daring to look at the open-mouthed group behind her.
Tamara looked to Jobeth in disbelief. She shrugged her shoulders at Alan and Jonah, who stood bewildered.
“You heard her, back to work,” Tamara squawked, shooing the two baffled boys away. Not knowing what to do or how to protest, they reluctantly turned around and began to ascend the hill.
Tamara went back to smacking clothes on the rocks, glancing every few minutes back at Jobeth.
“Stop mothering over me, Tamara,” Jobeth said, without pausing for a break.
Shawna, satisfied that Jobeth was all right, went back to her dolls. She gently
sat down on her quilt littered with porcelain babies and was instantly lost in her make-believe land once again.
Tamara bent her head down low and sneaked a peek out of the corner of her eye.
“I ain’t motherin’ no one.”
“Humph, could have fooled me,” Jobeth sniffed, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. She attacked the garment she was washing with fervor.
Tamara raised her eyebrow, but pretended not to hear as she too went about her duties.
Both girls continued to work in silence.
Jobeth felt Tamara’s eyes burning into her back. Guilt flooded her entire body. The heat of her eyes burned straight to Jobeth’s flat belly. It felt hot and heavy. Could everyone tell she was with child? She thought of Alan’s round face full of concern. Jobeth banged the piece of clothing harder onto to the rock, trying to beat out the frustration she felt. A savage scream filled her mind, causing her to slump over, exhausted. She stared down at the beaten shirt, unable to swallow this new discovery. She did not want to leave the people she had come to love in the last two months. She did not want to take Shawna from the only family she had ever known. Jobeth pressed her fingers to her head and squeezed; she could see no other alternative.
Jobeth watched as Shawna continued playing with her dolls, unaware of the new situation thrust upon her charge. Her cheeks radiated color and health. Her tiny voice tinkled on the wind with the innocence of childhood naivety. Was it fair to remove the child from her new home
?
Jobeth’s throat tightened. She could not take Shawna when she left. She
Couldn’t steal her childhood away again. Pain tore at her heart and her chest felt as though it would cave in. Life would be unbearable without little Shawna.
A tear trickled down her face and Jobeth wiped it away unconsciously. She would never be happy again. She looked to the sky. It was a beautiful day.
Her eyes went longingly to the hill and the house she now called home. She squinted, shielding her vision with her hand.
A lone figure was running towards them. Jobeth stood up and looked closer.
It was Jonah with a look of dread on his face.
He stumbled to the ground and jumped up, brushing the dust off of himself. Jonah was yelling something, but Jobeth could not understand what he was trying to say. She turned to Tamara, who had stood up, confused.
“What the hell is wrong with him?”
“The sheriff! The sheriff! They’s after us! They’s after us!” Jonah yelled, coming closer.
Tamara started walking towards Jonah, but stopped in her tracks upon hearing the words come out of his mouth. Jonah finally reached them, panting as he bent over, supporting himself on Tamara’s shoulder. She grabbed him under the arm to keep him from falling onto his face.
“Jonah, what are you talking about?” Jobeth asked, lifting Shawna up. The child had run to her when Jonah ran down the hill.
“The sheriff . . .” Jonah panted. “They done found us out.” He looked as though someone had poured a bucket of ice-cold water on his head “Ole man Willard caught us stealin’ at the store today. Todd and Oliver gots away from him, but he done got the sheriff after us.” He stopped and looked at Tamara. His friendly ginger eyes were wide with fear. “We gotta split.” Jonah began to shiver.
Tamara placed her arm around him protectively. “And yah knows what’ll happen to me,” he said, wide-eyed. Tamara frowned. “I am hung. Ol’ man Willard said it before. And I bet yah I will! I will!”
“Damn it to hell,” Tamara’s old voice boomed. Whimpering sounds escaped Jonah’s pink lips. “I don’t want Jonah to hang, Jobeth,” Shawna crushed her pale fist into her eyes.
Jobeth felt helpless. She did not want Jonah to hang either. Feeling as though the wind were let out of her sails, She began to gather the clothes up into a heap. Everything was moving fast. Her mind whirled trying to absorb all the new information flooding it.
“Don’t just stand there like you don’t have a brain in yah head, move Jobeth! Move!” Tamara grabbed the damp clothes clutched tightly in Jobeth’s arms. “Get Shawna’s dolls and stuff into her trunk and get to the house!”
Relieved, Jobeth jumped into action
.
Anxious faces turned to the lone figure standing in the kitchen. Light filtered through the windows giving Adam an ominous glow.
“Alright,” he said calmly, “Here’s what we’ll do. The sheriff will be looking for a large group of us. We would be caught like a coyote in a chicken coop if we were all together.”
Jobeth felt as though she were being torn apart. All her wrenching over what to do about her pregnancy was for nothing. She was going to have to leave her new family anyway. Grief filled her heart and soul as she fought back the urge to cry. All their belongings were quickly packed and tied to their backs in makeshift packs. It had taken only minutes to get their meager belongings together.
“We will have to split up,” Adam finally revealed. He twisted his cap in his hands, nervously. “Todd, Carter and I will go together. Tamara and Oliver will be together and Alan, Jonah, Jobeth and Shawna will be together - nobody will be alone. When it’s possible, we’ll get together again.”
“Where?” yelled Tamara, standing beside Oliver and looked as though she might cry. Oliver looked miserable as he placed a hand on her shoulder in comfort.
“Hell, Tamara, I don’t know,” Adam choked, running his hand through his sandy blond hair.
“What yah really mean is we isn’t ever gonna see each other again.” Tamara cried. Huge tears fell freely from her ebony eyes.
“Yes, we will,” Adam stammered, uncertain if he spoke the truth. He had never seen Tamara cry or look so vulnerable. The effect was quite unsettling and he could not look at the beautiful, red-eyed girl without wanting to cry too. For the first time Tamara looked like an angel sent straight from heaven with all the sorrows of the world on her feathered shoulders. “All I know is we have to. God help us. But we can’t be worrying about that now. We gotta get outta here fast.” He went and stood beside Carter who was staring at the ground, kicking dirt angrily with the toe of his boot.
Oliver encircled Tamara in his arms as she willingly succumbed, sobbing hard.
“We’re gonna be alright, Tamara,” he whispered, brushing his hand through her silky curls. “I’ll take care of yah. Don’t worry.”
Tamara sobbed and hugged Oliver closer.
“Everything’s gonna be all right,” he said without conviction as he saw the look of despair in his fellow friends’ faces. It was written just as plainly on their faces as if it had been printed in the newspaper. The likelihood of them ever seeing each other again was doubtful.
Jobeth shifted the weight of her sack. It was slightly heavier than when she had arrived three months earlier with only the clothing on her back. She shivered and squeezed Shawna’s hand. Would she ever see her new friends again? At least she had Alan and Jonah with her this time. She would not be alone with the responsibilities. The thought of the baby she was carrying flashed through her mind like a hurricane. She quickly erased it. For the moment there were more important things to worry about.
They ran as fast as they could from the others who had, just a short time ago, been part of them. The three groups separated and went in three different directions. Jobeth turned towards the direction Tamara and Oliver had gone.
Their hands were clasped together, Tamara’s jet black hair streamed out behind them. The image quickly faded. Soon all she could see were two black dots.
Why do I always lose the people I love? Jobeth screamed in her head. For she felt love for the people she had just left. The wind ripped viciously at her face, blowing away the tears as they started to fall.
Alan carried Shawna in his arms. Her little legs clutched tightly to his waist. She wondered how he could run with Shawna’s full weight burdening him.
He looked over at Jobeth who was nestled safely between Jonah and himself.
He told Adam and Carter that he wanted Jobeth, Shawna and Jonah with him. Adam had not liked the idea of the four of them together. It would have been more reasonable for Jonah to go with Oliver and Tamara.
“No.” Alan had said strongly, taking no other answer. “He comes with me and so do Jobeth and Shawna.”
Adam nodded giving in to Alan. There was no time to argue. The sheriff would be there at any moment and they needed to get away. Sheriff Duncan Migel was a cruel man who had been waiting for just this moment to get Adam and his crew behind bars. Adam shivered. They needed to get out of there fast.
“All right, Alan, he goes with you. But be careful--you guys are gonna look like Poppies in a field of daisies.”
“I’ll take that chance.” Alan replied, his face stone cold.
They were running so fast, Jobeth feared she would fall behind. Jonah firmly grabbed hold of her arm, helping her keep pace. She smiled at him and was thankful as they continued on.
When dusk came, they stumbled into a field and fell asleep exhausted. Jobeth woke to the sun shining in her face. For a moment she was confused as to where she was. Then she saw the frosted yellow grass around her. She sat up and faced Jonah. He was squatting a short distance from Jobeth, his elbows resting on his knees and his index finger was playing with his front teeth.
Rubbing the remainder of sleep out of her eyes, she stood up feeling as though her legs would give out from under her.
“Jonah,” she said, her legs crying out in pain from t
he journey the day before.
“Jobeth,” he said through a weak smile. He stood up and came over toward her, gently taking her arm. “Legs a little wobbly from running?”
“It would seem that way.” Jobeth grabbed his helpful hand. Wincing, she pressed her free hand to her spine.
“Yah better try and walk it off because as soon as Alan comes back, we will be heading out again.”
“Where is he?” Jobeth asked while walking in circles with Jonah. The pain
in her legs was slowly turning into a dull throb.
“He took Shawna out with him to hunt up some food.” Jonah searched the clouded sky with his eyes.
“Are you all right Jonah?”
“Oh yah,” Jonah grinned, “I just worried about the others. They’s like my family is all. I hates to lose more family.”
Jobeth nodded. She understood more than he knew.
“They will be all right, Jonah.”
“Yah, I guess you’s right.” They stood silently side-by-side, Jonah holding Jobeth’s arm protectively. Neither spoke for a long time.
Alan and Shawna found them still standing in the same position. Shawna was giggling about the rabbit they caught together. When they came upon Jobeth and Jonah, they stopped for a moment, afraid to break the peace emanating from the two stone figures. Alan coughed, embarrassed, and sat down on the ground by the dead fire. He removed his hunting knife and began to gut the rabbit.
“What’s the problem?” he asked trying to sound casual.
“Ah, nothin’,” Jonah said, breaking the silence. He bent down and grabbed a burlap sack beside the bundle of belongings and removed some potatoes. The food had been divided into three portions before they had left the others.
“Let’s start a fire for that delicious rabbit you caught,” Jobeth said cheerfully to Shawna.
Shawna jumped up. Tiny wood chips clung to her dress and she absently brushed them off as she skipped towards Jobeth. Alan watched out of the corner of his eye as Jobeth and Shawna disappeared into the tall grass.
“Winter is just about here,” Alan said as he peeled the soft fur from the rabbit. He would keep the fur and make Shawna some mittens.
Jonah nodded, not saying a word. He sensed Alan had something on his mind he needed to get off.
“Jobeth and Shawna need a home. A real home.” Alan continued, never pausing in his butchering, “I have to give them that.”
“You will, you will.” Jonah agreed while starting to peel potatoes.
“I have to,” he said firmly, looking off into the horizon, lost in his own thoughts. After a quick breakfast they packed up the remainder of their food and started on their way again—this time walking. They were going farther from the people they loved and further into an uncertain future.
Jobeth wondered about the rest of her new family.
This continued to be in her thoughts as the four traveled on. Each time she awoke to the sun shining in her face, she wondered about them. Each time she fell asleep under the vast black sky with its many eyes glaring down at her, she wondered where the others were, and if she would ever see them again.
Wild Tamara, so angry and untamed. Oliver with his piercing blue eyes and irresistible charm. Shy Todd who barely said a word but always had a special pocket full of treats for a little five-year-old girl. Carter, the shadow of his best
friend, Adam. And Adam, the brave leader of them all.
Were they all right?
Did they sleep well last evening, alone for the first time in who knew how long? Were they as scared as she? It was something she knew she would always worry about and she wished that they were all safe and back together at the old abandoned house they had made home.
Chapter 7 —