In a distant civilization on Permea 2 million years ago lived a tribe of giant cannibals who dined on the Egob people, named the Pishot. The Egobs were small and weak and were used in sandwiches and meat pies by the Pishot. After each and every meal the Pishot would retire to the neighboring Tagum caves and continue building their massive cave castles.
Then one day a small boy was digging thru a wall of red diamond when a secret doorway swung inward revealing a massive room filled with dozens of bookcases filled with dusty books as well as large couches and mahogany tables and even a wall that was covered with electronics and even an advanced computer system. The Pishot began reading the books and trying to figure out the foreign language. Then they found a stack of papers that had the word Melbro on the top of each and explained how to read the books by a phonetic alphabet. When they read the books they found out how to create an advanced society and make very advanced ships and weapons. The papers also stated,” When you have it all and your world goes as fast as mine did, that’s when the madness will creep in and if you’re not careful destruction will be your new friend. Remember this when you lessen God’s role in the world for it won’t be long before he asks for payment due and you’ll have only air and blood to pay with. Enjoy your toys love and humor Melbro Phinx.” The Pishot and Egobs went on to create modern day Permea as they later became known as the Koacs and Haborm.
Inside Siex’s ship everyone was watching the movie,” The errorless perfect mistake,” on the holographic movie projector. It was a film about an unintelligent criminal who buys a golden machine gun to pull off a theft at a jewelry store. Only to find out by bumping into an antiques dealer on the way to the robbery that it’s a priceless artifact used by a famous general centuries earlier. He then sells the gun for 400 million dollars and starts his own company hiring only ex-cons to work for him. It isn’t long before they start bilking him out of his fortune by cooking the books. Then he has no choice but to go back to a life of crime. Then he steals an ivory pocketbook from an elderly woman and he sees that the same pocketbook on a show about lost treasures and sells it for 50 million on the black market. Then he opens a restaurant and loses it all to mismanagement and ends up homeless.
“ This movie is crap, who would sell a golden gun? I don’t believe this for a second. Yeah I bought a diamond fork from an old man and now I can sell it for millions. Who comes up with this crap?” asked Ohgood in disbelief as he sat back in his chair and shook his head.
“ God writes this crap, it’s a true story. This man here had one of the luckiest and unluckiest lives of all time. Wait ‘til you see the next part,” said Siex as he ate a large chocolate and caramel brownie pie and cleared his throat.
Then in the movie Baggus, the finder of the golden gun is shown walking down the street towards the Suekid Bank with a stern look on his face as he tries to find out where all his money has gone. Baggus is a man of 5’6” 167 pounds with narrow shoulders and large hands. He had dark brown wavy hair and a prominent arching nose, as well as dark blue eyes and a mouth like a snarling dog. He had on a tan silken suit.
Baggus walked into the bank and the bank manager Gial Homes walked briskly up to him and then said sternly,” We don’t serve deadbeats in here. Take your no money body out of here.”
“ What, you stole all my money and now you won’t even talk to me,” pleaded Baggus as he felt Gial’s hand on his wrist and looked down quickly.
“ We didn’t touch your money. That now defunct company of yours slowly drained those accounts and now you need to go.”
“ That’s impossible I was only paying my workers with the interest,” said Baggus sharply as he pulled away from Gial.
“ What , who are kidding? Every month for the last 5 years 7 million dollars was paid out to your workers and I have the records to prove it. Now if you’re pissed off for being the highest paying boss on the planet tough luck, get out of my bank!” said Gial sharply as he waved to security to come over.
“ But, how could that be I wasn’t paying them a tenth of that,” said Baggus in disbelief as his thoughts raced.
“ Then they stole it from you. You should have watched your money better, bye,” said Gial coldly as the guards grabbed hold of him and ushered him out of the bank.
Baggus stood there not wanting to cry and when a woman looked him in the eye his gaze darted away instantly. Then he ran down the sidewalk screaming at people and punching them as he ran.
“ Oh this is Boasup, I never saw that coming. Wow he’s just knocking people out this is so sick,” said Ohgood softly as his eyes were transfixed on the movie and his mouth was agape.
“ Why is he punching all those people? I can understand losing it, but gees what a spazz. He’s scaring me now I need this scene to end,” said Ratie as she grimaced and crinkled her face.
“ If you lost all that money you’d lose it too don’t kid yourself,” said Mench honestly as she tried not to laugh at Ratie.
“ Sure I’d lose my self- respect my confidence, my joy and happiness as well as overall feeling of pride, but it. No, I’d never lose it I’m too lazy and self absorbed,” said Ratie wryly as she let out a loud chuckle and pointed to Mench sternly.
“ Well, in that case I say let us remember the times when we remembered the times. For those were the times we had and the people we were,” said Mench in a stern voice as everyone looked at her for a second then laughed and Mench grinned.
“ I couldn’t have put it better myself, and I did in my autobiography. Thanks for reminding us all of those inspired words written by a humble man of the people,” said Harci slyly as he grinned from ear to ear and everyone sighed.
“ You wrote that, interesting I read that on a ply of toilet paper when I was 10, hmm. Do you frequent many ladies rooms?” asked Mench sarcastically as she smirked at Harci and he shook his finger and laughed.
“ Only when I want a life affirming jolt. As you see when you hear a dozen women airing their problems to strangers it sure is grand. How ‘bout you, Mench, do you still pee standing up?” asked Harci as he grinned and everyone laughed.
“ Only when I catch you napping or I’m fixing you lunch. The other times I won’t speak of Ohgood might hear,” said Mench sarcastically as she got a wry grin from Ohgood who was wiping his mouth off with a white napkin.
“ Well now I am losing it! You can’t keep a secret like that from a man who’s seen you naked. What about when I told you I had a cave filled with gold on the far side of Permea. That was my most private nugget of truth and was hard to share. It is officially lost and I can’t find it,” said Ohgood sarcastically as he pretended to weep and shook his head like a baby.
“ It’s alright, Ohgood, you’re an idiot you can’t help it. You didn’t get all the smart genes only a stream of moron ones. We don’t hold it against you. We only hate your B.O. which is pungent by the way. We just like to ask do you wipe your butt with your hand as soon as you wake up or does it happen much later, say when you give us hugs and handshakes?” asked Ratie sarcastically as she talked dryly and gave Ohgood a concerned look, while everyone cracked up laughing and Ohgood sat silently and then glared at Ratie.
“ I admit that I have nothing to admit. And in reference to what you have said I can only say I like pie, and I mean that. Now to address the subject of my unbelievable handsomeness, yes it is hard on me and there have been many a night I had only 3 or 4 good looking women in my bed. I tell you this now as I fight back feelings of embarrassment and shame. I just hope you can find it in your hearts to not stare as I would probably feel special and better about myself in every way. There I said it,” said Ohgood sarcastically in a soft voice as everyone rolled their eyes and Famaron laughed loudly.
“ I know now why we get along so well, Ohgood, it’s our shared curse. From here on in I’m gonna look
at you differently. Probably out of the corner of my eye or with shades on as I smile like this,” said Famaron sarcastically as he made quick darting motions with his eyes and goofy grin and everyone laughed except for Siex who was fixated on the movie.
“ Why aren’t you laughing, Siex?” asked Ratie as she looked over at Siex.
“ Because a really good part in the movie is coming up. You should watch this,” said Siex as he interlocked his fingers softly.
Meanwhile in the movie it showed Baggus sleeping in an alleyway as he was now homeless. He had a pair of red garbage bag pillows and a black silk blanket he kept after losing it all, as well as a large brass bat to ward off attackers, in his hand. He lay there in between a pair of sleeping women who he’d met a
week earlier. He awoke as the sun hit him directly in the eyes. Then he rose up and yawned and pulled out his wallet and saw he had about 8 dollars. He looked around and then said softly,” That’s it.”
Then he got up and put the blanket under his arm. Then the next shot showed him walking up to a pawnshop window that faced the street, that was black and had the words,” Don’t ask for a deal,” and ,” we don’t care if it’s priceless,” written on either side with the face of the owner No Deal Forastio above the window looking angrily down as it was carved and melted into gold.
“ Well, this is the place where all dreams come to die. Let’s hope I get lucky dear blanket and 8 bucks or I’m gonna kill someone,” said Baggus sternly as he reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet and then the window spirals open and he sees No Deal and then asked softly,” Can I get a knife for 8 bucks, kind sir?”
“ Do you care if it’s sharp?” asked No Deal sharply in a deep gravely voice as he smoked 2 large cigarettes simultaneously and puckered his chap lips.
No Deal had a thick black beard and bald spot in the front with a tattoo of a zipper inside it. He also had dark red and yellow stripped eyes and a hairy barrel chest, as well as one large hairy hand and one smaller hairless hand. He had on a white silk shirt and trifocals with the third lense covering his third eye.
“ A bit yes, I think I’ll have to have it at least sharpened. Do you have one for 8 bucks?” asked Baggus sheepishly as he felt embarrassed and dirty at the way his life had turned out and having to talk to someone like No Deal.
“ Well, I don’t for 8 dollars, but if you throw in that blanket I could find one lying around somewhere,” said No Deal honestly in a deep voice as he eyed the blanket and thought about grabbing it and stealing it from Baggus.
Baggus grimaced and looked down at the blanket then back at No Deal and frowned and said begrudgingly,” Sure, I guess it doesn’t matter, but I want see the knife first or I won’t do it alright.”
Then No Deal instantly pulled a jagged unpolished red blade that had a black leather torn handle from under the window and said sternly,” For what you got, this is all you’ll get. What’s a guy like you need a knife for anyway? You got an ex-lover who did ya wrong?” asked No Deal coldly as he grinned and then smiled and showed he only had 4 teeth as he laughed.
Baggus looked at No Deal’s 4 teeth and frowned as he tried not to stare, but couldn’t as there was a piece of meat lodged in between 2 of them.
“ Well yeah it’s something just like that. The bitch broke my heart and I don’t think her new flame should still have his testicles. Well, I’ve decided I’ll take it here’s the 8 bucks and the blanket I’ll take my knife first thou,” said Baggus as he clutched the money and the blanket tightly so as to not get conned.
No Deal glared at Baggus and then licked the piece of meat in between his teeth and swallowed it and then he set the edge of the knife handle towards Baggus and said quickly,” Go ahead, buddy, take it.”
Baggus eyed the knife and tried to figure out a way to pick it up without No Deal stealing his money and blanket. Then he wrapped his fingers around the bottom edge of the knife and dropped his 8 bucks and blanket. And as he did No Deal grabbed the money, blanket, and knife in one motion and shut his pawnshop window in a lightning quick motion.
“ Hey, you son of a bitch I want my goddamn knife or I’m callin’ the cops!” shouted Baggus as he hit the window hard with his fist.
Then No Deal opened a smaller portion of the window and asked coyly,” Yes, may I help you, sir?”
“ Help me, I just gave you all the money I have in the world and I want my knife or you’ll be sorry!” said Baggus sharply as he glared at No Deal who was smiling.
“ Why don’t you run along, sir, my customers are waiting to buy my merchandise,” said No Deal warmly as he tried not to laugh and secretly thought what a fool Baggus was.
“ Run along, I’m gonna run and get the cops you broken down jerk off! I want my knife and I want it now or I’m gonna tear your head off!” said Baggus fiercely as he glared at No Deal and clenched his fist.
“ The cops eh,” said No Deal as he lifted up a black marble police badge and then laughed and said firmly,” those very same cops are all my friends as I work for them part time. As far as you tearing my head off don’t try and get frisky, son, or my friend I will end your wretched life!” said No Deal coldly as he opened a part of the window and pointed a laser pistol at Baggus and laughed menacingly.
Baggus stared at the gun completely terrified then threw up his hands and said nervously,” Great, just great I can’t catch a break to save my life. And in this case it probably would have ahhh!”
“ Tough luck, son, God only helps people who are crafty or sexy. And I’m both, so beat it!” said No Deal sternly as h licked his lips and smiled menacingly and then laughed.
“ O.K., Siex, this movie is Boasup. I never saw that coming, nice flick,” said Ohgood excitedly as he shook his head and thought how good the movie was.
“ I’m glad you like it, but there’s an even better moment comin’ right up. Watch what Baggus does now,” said Siex happily as he smiled and then sipped a glass of chocolate milk.
“ Alright simmer down everyone, I want to hear this,” said Ratie as her eyes were fixated on the movie.
Then it showed Baggus walking up the street with his fists clenched and his eyes teared up. He thought what a fool he’d just been, as well as the idiot he was for trusting those convicts. He spit a large lugee onto a mailbox and began to mutter to himself as he made sure not to look anyone in the eye. Then he said sharply,” Give me a break God I can’t take it anymore!”
Then he saw a beautiful middle aged woman knelt over a duel baby carriage feeding her 2 identical twin boys from a pair of milk bottles. He looked at her and felt like he could’ve been those boys father if he’d been a bit luckier. Then he saw the woman’s large gold and ivory pocketbook fall out of her coat pocket onto the ground without her noticing and a rush of emotions shot thru his brain like being a good Samaritan to just taking it.
“ Please take the wallet! Take it you idiot you’ve got nothin’!” shouted Ohgood as he gritted his teeth and everyone laughed.
“ If he doesn’t take that wallet it will break my heart in half. Please take it,” said Ratie honestly as she looked on with her mouth open.
“ He’ll take it, there’s no way he can’t,” said Famaron confidently as he tapped his left leg as his legs were crossed.
Then Baggus walked closer to the woman and felt conflicted as he eyed the pocketbook. Then he looked around and saw no one and casually bent down and picked up the wallet as he began to sweat. Then he walked across the street and ducked into a dark alley and stopped behind a large white trash bin. Then he looked to see if the woman had seen him. He saw her still feeding her kids and relief washed over him.
“ I knew he’d take it! There was no way he wouldn’t, oh is that satisfying!” yelled Ohgood as he smiled from ear to ear and everyone laughed.
“ He co
uld still get caught if he’s not careful. That woman could turn her head at any moment,” said Ratie as she chewed her chocolate chip tube with a cheese and steak pieces center.
Then Baggus walked briskly down the alley and past some unsavory looking men and women sitting in leather chairs outside a secret club called Godshi and he felt nervous they might rob him. He kept his eyes forward as he walked purposefully past them as he started to sweat profusely. Then he turned a corner and emerged in a grassy park with no one around.
“ O.K. baby please have some big bucks inside,” said Baggus anxiously as he tried to open the pocketbook with nervous hands.
He pulled the clasp open and saw a roll of large bills and let out a yell and then looked around quickly to see if anyone had heard.
“ That is the most rewarding theft I’ve ever seen. If there would have been nothing inside I would have stormed out of this room posthaste,” said Solcrist sharply as he let out a sigh and smacked his lips together as everyone laughed.
“ You would, well I think those bills are counterfeit. Maybe you should take your flatulent ways and head for the library. While you’re there go ahead and read up on the effects of too much cheese on an old poop’s digestive track huh,” said Ratie slyly as the room laughed and Solcrist had a loud cackle and flapped his arms like a bird as his eyes nearly closed, and then Ratie shook her head and motioned with her hands for him to go.
“ Oh, Ratie, you are devious, uncouth, maniacal and the sort that repels all kindness, which makes you just the sort I love. How ‘bout we share a cheese triangle for friendship?” asked Solcrist as he ordered a blue cheese chunk and smiled at Ratie who was shaking her finger and trying not to laugh.
“ Ya see you just didn’t get my inference from a moment ago. You smell, and I mean bad. If I have to sit thru another silent but deadly from you I’ll lose it. I’ve got a better idea how ‘bout a kerosene cocktail? Sound tasty I insist you drink yours first,” said Ratie sternly as she was only half kidding and Solcrist bellowed with laughter.
Meanwhile Baggus was in a cheap hotel room eating a large pepperoni and pineapple pizza with a bottle of red beer called Fodee.
Fodee was named after Stanou Fodee, a rich king who had never worked a day in his life and refused to lift anything over a pound having his staff of 200 servants do every whim and need he required. He loved alcohol so much so he decided to make his own and spent a year straight crafting the beer. Then when he found out unexpectedly that all his wealth had been pilfered by his in laws he only had the warehouse filled with Fodee left to his name. So he sold off a few cases to a local bar and it was an instant hit. Then suddenly it was bought by a series of bars and he became rich enough to hire his servants back on only this time to mass produce the beer. Within a few years he had more money than he’d ever had as king. Then when his in laws came to him a few years later he proclaimed,” You haven’t eaten enough crow yet to dine at my table.”
Baggus sat on a half bed half recliner that folded back into a queen sized bed at the press of a button. He was watching a holographic newscast with the android reporter Pcalm Smar, as he ate his pizza.
Pcalm had thick wavy brown hair and dark blue eyes and looked serious and stern.
“ Boy this pizza is good. A dollar stolen is a lesson learned. And I don’t feel sorry for ya after the life I’ve had, you old bag of pretentious snobbery. Who in their right mind carries an ivory and gold pocketbook? Look at this monstrosity,” said Baggus as he looked at the pocketbook and grimaced and then he flipped the channel and came upon the show called,” Old and useless,” that had valuable lost
items and sees the exact pocketbook he stole and then asked in disbelief,” is that my pocketbook? How can this be happening?”
Then a dashing young man came out to the pocketbook and said brightly,” The Horapum pocketbook is one of only 2 in existence and valued at 60 million. Look at its exquisite craftsmanship and elegant lines. This is a true masterpiece and can fill any person’s heart with overabundant glee and glorious whimsy.”
“ Any person, I am that person! Holy crap I am rich!” said Baggus excitedly as he looked at the pocketbook and swallowed hard.
“ O.K. look, this guy is so lucky and unlucky I can’t withstand watching this movie another second if anything else bad happens to him. Holy crap he is loaded,” said Ohgood in disbelief as he shook out his arms and everyone grinned.
“ Why don’t we have a look at the war and see how we stand?” asked Famaron sternly as he looked over at Siex who nodded yes and then stood up and walked over and grabbed his remote off a small refrigerator.
“ We’re about to see what really matters and it may be terrifying or it may be victory, but either way it will be inescapable,” said Mench plainly as she tossed Ohgood’s hair and grimaced.
“ Well here it is,” said Siex as he pressed a button on the remote and then the hologram appeared and showed an empty sky without a trace of a single ship or dragon and then normal sunlight instead of the green.
“ Where is it?” asked Ratie in a concerned tone as she looked at Siex and then asked anxiously,” is that the right hologram?”
“ Yes it is, we must’ve had a conclusion,” said Siex breathlessly as he put his hand over his mouth and began to tear up.
“ Yeah, wars are hard to hide. Well if we won what happened to all our ships?” asked Ohgood as he stood up and looked at the hologram intently.
“ I’ll find out,” said Rinship boldly as he pulled out his communicator and hailed his admiral named Toraam and when the blonde haired female appeared he asked,” admiral Toraam, where is the fleet hiding?”
“ We’ve been chasing the last of the Sorplecs out into space to keep them from trying this again,” said Toraam happily as she grinned from ear to ear.
“ That’s fascinating, what was the final blow in the battle?” asked Rinship excitedly as he could barely contain his glee and everyone in the room began to cheer and laugh.
“ What happened was they were dumb enough to bring all their forces together in the middle of all our troops. I think they did that to try and scare us, but when we saw it we fired everything we had at them and it became a large scale form of target practice, only the targets had nowhere to run to. Then when we’d blown nearly all of them to pieces a few of them made a break for it and we’re following them now,” said Toraam proudly as she smiled and then sent a live feed of the remaining 2 dozen Sorplecs in front of her ship and said happily,” Here’s what left of them.”
There in front of Toraam’s ship could be seen several dragons, Darpocks, and Meheluxs being piloted by Sorplecs as they fired spells over their shoulders.
“ Look at that lunacy. They still think they can win the war and there’s thousands of ships casing them,” said Epam in disbelief as he watched a pair of Sorplecs casting spell after spell at a swarm of encroaching Meheluxs that were firing laser bursts at them.
“ They could easily escape if they just cast themselves into a different dimension. That is a level of ego I have never seen before or want to see again. They’re suffocating their own lungs,” said Famaron sadly as he looked at the hologram in shock and bewilderment.
Then he saw a Sorplec on a Darpock get blown to pieces as a trio of recasting missiles turned his Darpock into a mass of melted cheese and beans while he was hit head on by one of the missiles.
“ That is a sight I couldn’t have dreamed up. They should give up and give in you only get one life,” said Ohgood sternly as his eyes were fixated on the chase of Sorplecs.
“ I agree, they can’t thou it’s already a situation where they’ve crossed the threshold of death or nothing. I tell ya I can’t feel sorry for them thou,” said Ratie as she watched a dragon get its head blown off by a large laser and she cringed.
“ Why not, Ratie?
” asked Mench as she looked over at Ratie and furrowed her brow.
“ I’ll tell you why, because they wanted to destroy every one of us. I’m not gonna feel sympathy for someone who wanted me dead,” said Ratie firmly as she shrugged her shoulders and looked over at Mench and grimaced while Mench nodded.
“ That’s a good point, you can’t put perpetual bad into the world and be surprised when a trio of arrows puncture your chest. They’ve had this coming for a long time, so now they have to pay up. Boy I’m all broken up about it let me tell ya,” said Ohgood sternly as he went over and brought up the holographic menu and started looking for a snack and Harci and Siex laughed loudly.
“ Then what happens now?” asked Orbay as she looked around the room at everyone.
“ Now, now we celebrate getting our lives back and have ourselves the greatest party of all time!” said Famaron boldly as he pumped his fist and everyone cheered loudly.
“ The end of war is always the beginning of thanks and I am thankful, but there is still a lot of preparation to do after Famaron takes power to ensure Permea’s safety,” said Solcrist firmly as he pulled out a large black cigar and lit it with his staff by touching the two together.
“ You’re right and we need to start that immediately. And when I say immediately I mean after the celebration. So for now the gears of progress and war will have to stop grinding while we all finally get a well needed chance to relax,” said Famaron happily as he thought how lucky he was to be rid of the war and luckier still to be the new ruler then he remembered Babes and said quickly,” and then there’s that trip to Lada let us not forget that.”
“ That’s right, I’d nearly forgotten. Well, we’ll take care of Permea’s defenses then it’s off into the void again. But at least this time we have a home to come back to,” said Ratie as she sat back down on the couch and began watching the movie again with Mench and Ohgood sitting beside her.
“ Lada, what a great name let’s search out this planet Lada and ask the official namer why he didn’t settle on goats beard. Because I would have and I’m embarrassed I admitted that because I’m so smart and sexy,” said Ohgood sarcastically as he put his arm around Mench and Ratie and grinned as they moaned loudly and Siex and Harci laughed.
“ Why not Pea filled neck or hair and gum sandwich? I think the namer really missed his mark. And lint belly, wouldn’t that have been a grand name?” asked Mench jokingly as she grinned at Ohgood who moaned loudly.
“ Lint belly, it has a nice ring to it like a bad rock band or a crooked senator. Lint belly stole my wallet and had sex with my wife, I can’t give him my vote,” said Famaron sarcastically in a deep voice as he used his lips to dramatically speak and Ohgood laughed with Mench and Ratie as Famaron sat beside Ratie.
“ Lint Belly’s music is so badass my ears filled up with blood to shield my brain from their moronic songs. I have 8 lawsuits filed against Lint Belly for unlawful use of a bass guitar as a weapon against my mind. I am only seeking partial sanity and 3 weeks pay, the trial is pending,” said Mench sarcastically as she looked at the floor with a distant look in her eye and everyone laughed.
“ Lint Belly stole my self- respect and replaced it with stupidity and a love of all things crumb cake. I have sword vengeance with Lint Belly and seek to end all and every musical recording by them as I fear it endangers the public good,” said Ratie sarcastically as she rubbed her stomach and nodded while everyone laughed and Ohgood grinned.
“ Does anyone want to retire for the evening with a bit of Lint Belly and soap?” asked Siex jokingly as he kept a straight face and everyone laughed while Mench moaned.
“ Hey what’s this, where’s Baggus get the money for this castle?” asked Ohgood in disbelief as he looked at Baggus sitting on a couch out in front of a massive red marble castle.
The castle was shaped like a tower set on a 45 degree, but it had a massive m shaped center filled with dozens of large oval windows all over it. And dozens of mini decks and platforms that ran the circumference of it.
“ Yeah wasn’t he Bumsville last we saw him?” asked Mench as she looked at a shot of Baggus laughing loudly as he thought of his luck while he sat alone and looked out over a huge expanse of lush gardens in front of him.
“ He sold that ivory pocketbook remember he saw it on TV?” asked Siex as he looked at Baggus dancing with his hands and Siex smiled to himself.
“ Oh Baggus you are a genius above all others. They tried to bring you down and they faltered moreover. Now the life you knew was there is here ha ha ha,” said Baggus greedily as he threw bottles of expensive wine at nearby statues smashing them and sending wine flying thru the air.
“ This Baggus is so wise, but he could easily lose it all again with his dumb head. Why don’t you light your farts with piles of cash you boobsickle,” said Ratie half jokingly as she let out a sigh and frowned and shook her head while Baggus stood up and started pissing on a rose bush and laughing.