In the decades since the emergence of magic a powerful cult began to take shape known as the Mastaphysical. It boasts over 1.6 billion followers on Permea and another 800 million in the neighboring planets. Its leader Harci Pages started it after an asteroid hit him head on in the middle of the night, but did no physical damage. Instead it filled his mind with 60,000 words of scripture and over 30,000 spells that no one had ever heard of before.
When Harci began telling people of what had happened they laughed until he said slyly let me show you, how could I know that what causes a spell to work is a massive radical atom filled dimension. And when you cast a spell it creates a fissure or gravitron and your words cause those same atoms to form rapidly into what it is that you want them to. Also how could I know that god himself gave Torm the first wizard the words to unlock this dimension. And how could I know now that if I yell Carp get mova, this room we’re sitting in will turn into a dense jungle. Then they laughed at him so Harci shouted the spell and the restaurant turned into the densest of jungles pinning most under thick limbs as they ate. Then the people believed him and word of what had happened spread all over the world. Soon everyone wanted to grab Harci’s ear. So he wrote a series of spell books and religious books with 4 of the books being 500 pages of scripture with passages like,” I can’t always have faith, but I do my best so I know god will understand said the man when in actuality god doesn’t understand or condone lack of faith for even a
moments time. He will only be forgiving if this mistake is made once and by an innocent heart. A wise man will not be given leverage on this matter.”
Inside the Puble everyone was recording their albums. There were 50 different colored leather chairs and tables set up all over with a microphone built into the armrest so you could just sit and sing. The different stations each had varying décor like a young lady’s bedroom with pink walls and a collection of teddy bears, to a robot wonderland that had every kind of robot you could want large and small. There were dozens of statues and soft pedal bushes known as Busbees in and around the different living rooms. Around each of them were a sound dampening light blue or brown smoke that kept all the different recordings from bleeding into one another. There was also a hovering orange light over each station that gave you an ultraviolet free pure sunlight so as not to get a sunburn.
Inside the robots wonderland booth sat Ratie, Mench, and Ohgood who had just met them there. Mench and Ratie had their sunglasses on and were sitting on either side of Ohgood on a white leather Baatold shaped couch. There was a mahogany square table in front of them with black leather cushioned foot rests on it. There were 2 dozen robots on the table fighting a mock battle, with each one 2 inches tall and made to look like Harci Pages. In front of the table there was snack filled fridge with a glass door on the front and both warm and cold snacks inside.
“ Hey baby sunshine eatin’ up the rain. Don’t cry purple tears to sane and smilin’ I must be the sanctity that brought you here. And while we laugh as old friends dooo. Love is one street you got 2 feet walk on down to meeee. Love is a poor man’s feet so walk on really old shoes cause Ratieeee loooves you so,” sang Ratie as she tapped her feet and smiled at Ohgood.
“ Nice track, Ratie, I didn’t know you could sing, and I still don’t,” said Ohgood jokingly as Ratie typed in the song’s title in the armrest.
“ Oh thanks a lot Gimbic ghost I sing plenty good. This album’s gonna be top of the charts, top of the heap I tell ya,” said Ratie in a deep gravely voice as she shook her finger at Ohgood and scowled.
Gimbic ghosts were a popular Geen band that had the song titled,” How many sorry’s in a breakup are real,” that dominated the charts for 8 years never falling from the top spot. They often times played 15 hour shows where they would sleep just off stage then wake up and instantly begin playing for another 15 hours. After one particular show there was what was later known as,” the Great Release,” where lead singer Mortapeth Sez had sex with 106 women without a break. The band broke up after said incident as the other 4 members wives were in on the action and 2 got pregnant.
“ Is that a trash heap, cause I could definitely see it there. Or maybe a dung heap, will there be sequels cause I need a large heap to put my old smelly socks on top of. I’m just kiddin’ ya I love your singing, how ‘bout vomit heap?” asked Ohgood sarcastically as he grinned and nodded wide eyed.
“ You boobsickle, you know I always take half what you say and pretend it’s in a foreign language. Ya know cause you speak so much dumb and all, but I’ll tell ya this thank you for the kind words. A head as full of spiders and cardboard as yours does what it can,” said Ratie honestly as she smiled and nodded.
“ Hey, Mench, who are those robots made to look like? I’ve never seen that person before?” asked Ohgood as he crossed his legs and smirked.
“ Well, sex machine with too many clothes on, that is a prophet and wizard called Harci Pages. He founded the Mastaphysical religion which is for wizards mostly, but regular people too as well as myself. Ya know if you want I could introduce you to him. He was a true miracle in the ways he helped us. I can tell you if you met him it would change you,” said Mench warmly as she glanced over at Ohgood.
“ I would like to meet him. Exactly what is the religion about?” asked Ohgood intently as he moved over towards Mench.
“ Everything a man or wizard would ever want to know. He put it all down in his books that one you should read is,” the Particular mind.” It has passages like, when the sensitive person meets the evil in life and reckons with tragedy, it is amplified 10 fold beyond a normal person. Thus the damage is so much greater that a massive lifelong journey will start for the person to help others avoid their same fate,” said Mench as she smiled at Ohgood.
“ That’s fascinating, that’s the real truth I’ve seen that a million times. Hmm, I would like to meet Harci too. Where does he live?” asked Ratie as she reached down and grabbed her new album.
The cover of the album had a picture of Ratie smiling with round tiny pictures of her hands and feet in psychedelic colors surrounding the picture, with a red silk cover in and around the pictures.
“ He’s giving a friendship gathering which is where he’ll make friends with anyone who wants to, at the edge of the city in the Farpgir coliseum. Why don’t we head over there when you’re finished?” asked Mench warmly as she looked around for Solcrist, Veata, and Famaron, Camtow, and Penn.
“ Let’s go right now, I’m already done. Ratie trip thru the music of the lonely is pressed and ready to be sold look,” said Ratie happily as she handed Ohgood her album.
“ Hey that almost looks like a real person on there. Ya know not like a weak old dead person,” said Ohgood sarcastically as he looked at the album.
Then Ratie elbowed him and asked defiantly,” Alright, smart guy, where’s your album?”
“ I’m still rehearsing the melodies in my head, so far I’ve got mo mo meee moo mo myy. What do you think?” asked Ohgood jokingly as he smiled confidently and opened his eyes wide.
“ Sounds great, is it made from paper I need to drop a deuce as a proper lady would say,” said Ratie as she grimaced and frowned.
“ Well, well who’s jealous of my gifts. That cuts it, I only letting you hear the first 4 hours of my musical trilogy. And when you beg for more, I’ll say ney,” said Ohgood excitedly as he glared at Ratie.
“ Why don’t we start ney and skip the 4 hours of mummy hates me. Then we can bond over absolutely nothing while I push you out of a high window,” said Ratie jokingly as she tried not to laugh and then looked away.
“ That was the sweetest thing you ever said to me. And yes I’d fall from that window if it brought a second’s worth of a smile to your gargoyle like face. You’re the best of it, Ratie, the best of our ditch diggers,” said Ohgood straight faced as he rubbed Rati
e’s forearm.
“ Alright you two, let us round everyone up and head over to see Harci. Trust me it will be worth it c’mon now,” said Mench as she stood up and straightened out her blue silk dress and winked at Ohgood.
“ So forceful, what I wouldn’t do to not see those clothes on my bedroom floor. Like running away at blinding speed and eating a half pound of quick killing poison. It’s you, Mench, it’s your aura that drives me to death,” said Ohgood slyly as he stood up and gave Mench a shake of his finger and a smile.
“ I feel the same way, but wouldn’t a quick death be a bit too obvious. Why don’t a trampling by a herd of horses or even a large stone slab falling on top of you. See then you’d have plenty of time to squirm and scream in agony. I can arrange it if you’d like,” said Mench sarcastically as she put her arm around Ohgood’s waist.
“ You don’t need to go to all that trouble on my account, but thanks for the gesture it’s nice to know your thinking of me and ways to do me in. I mean that, Menchy, old girl I love ya,” said Ohgood warmly then he kissed her on the cheek and grinned and Mench let out a sigh and shook her head.
“ Alright let’s round everyone up,” said Ratie as she walked out of her station.
Then Ohgood looked up in the sky and saw a 29 miles across red circular object and asked breathlessly,” What on Permea is that?”
“ It’s the Hield it’s starting to expand. That means we’re getting closer to the Corementh,” said Mench in a concerned voice.
“ How close?” asked Ohgood quickly as he looked up at the Hield.
“ 2 weeks, maybe 3 tops there’s no point worrying about it it’s an inevitability now. What we should do is just enjoy ourselves seeing as we’ve made the proper preparations,” said Mench sadly as her thoughts turned to her people and the coming war.
“ I agree, we’re all dead anyway,” said Famaron slyly as he Veata, Solcrist, Camtow, and Penn walked up.
Mench turned and laughed and said,” That’s a nice way to put it.”
“ I thought so, so what are we up to now?” asked Famaron as he rubbed his forearms and grimaced.
“ We’re going to see an important holy man named Harci that Mench told us about,” said Ratie as she put her hands on her hips and looked down at her feet.
“ Yes, Famaron, it’s someone you would find inspiration in,” said Mench.
“ This is true, Famaron, Harci is a brave important man,” said Camtow honestly as she looked up at Famaron.
“ You know this Harci?” asked Famaron as he squinted at Camtow.
“ Of course I’m part of his religion, I’m Mastaphysical for 10 years now. If you read one of his books you would be too,” said Camtow.
“ O.K., well let’s go meet this Harci I’m open to anything,” said Famaron hopefully as he looked lovingly at Camtow.
“ Done and done let’s take the soft magic stream to the other side of Hamcer,” said Mench brightly as she started to walk out of the Puble.
“ What’s that?” asked Ohgood as he chuckled to himself.
“ You’ll see, follow,” said Mench quickly then she walked out the spade shaped plasma doorway.
Outside the Puble there was an array of large buildings each of which holding different goods and services. There was also a pair of statues of Kildone Atetwo on either side of green and purple soft magic stream, which was a round thick soft magic that you could sit on and be whisked forward at incredible speed until you got to the next terminal and then it would gently slow and you could get off. There was an identical stream going in the opposite direction with both being 7 feet across.
Kildone Atetwo was the 3rd century’s most famous guitar player and vocalist. He penned the Sands national anthem,” Our dreams are our reality.” He also was the first person to play a concert to over 80 million live fans for a single performer. His sister Serikil played an inspired drum to all his songs. He had such nimble and fast fingers he could tap the strings so fast it sounded like a single note when he was playing dozens. He was green skinned and had plaid red and orange long hair that never seemed to move
even in the wind. His eyes were blue very large and far apart with one higher than the other. His nose looked like an inverted anvil and he had thin smiling lips. In life he was 8’2” and weighed 800 pounds.
There was a brief set of stairs to the soft magic stream. Everyone climbed the stairs and Veata asked,” O.K. now what?”
“ Yes you got us all here let’s have it,” said Solcrist boldly as he felt the soft magic with his foot.
“ Here it is,” said Mench coyly then she stepped into the soft magic and sat down and shot off like a rocket as she waved with a smile on her face.
“ She’s very dramatic I don’t get it,” said Ohgood calmly and then he stepped into the soft magic and shouted,” death is for suckers!”
Then he shot off at lightning speed with Ratie shaking her head and she then asked wryly,” Why couldn’t I have a sister god geez?”
Then she jumped on the stream with Solcrist beside her and they sped away. Everyone boarded the soft magic stream and rode off thru the city. They went thru buildings around trees, and even down into tunnels that had street performers playing for their suppers on either side. Then they went thru a row of 30 holographic statues of Sargs, Baatolds, even a Corvub in a dress. Then they flew thru a restaurant named Maggic’s and past several people eating who paid them no mind. They emerged on the other side of town and went across a long grass field that people were relaxing on with their kids and eating out of light weight mini ovens and refrigerators that could hover over the ground with anti gravity and be tugged with a string. There was the Farpgir coliseum rising up out of the ground.
The Farpgir was a giant blue cube with a white checkered pattern around it. There were also 6 red balls on top that were 50 feet wide and the coliseum was over 1 mile wide and 70 stories high. It had the
visage of Doerain across the front of it showing him smiling and holding a sword with a pierced leather book at the end of it. There were seven 60 foot pyramids surrounding the base that were red in color and housed various restaurants and games rooms. There were also thousands of ships strewn out around the outside of it. The soft magic stream stopped just inside a small rectangular room with dark green walls that also had paintings of Harci every few feet that his followers had created. There was also a young lady with seal black long straight hair standing at the entrance named Balou. She also had dark brown eyes and a cute face with a large set of lips. She was 5’8” and very curvaceous. She was wearing a white dress top and a pair of brown denim jeans underneath that had a red dragon design on the right pantleg that went the length of it. She also had on black Porci sneakers with the face of a Porci on either side of them.
The Porci was a lion like creature only with a round red nose and black fur. It also had almost human hands and walked on 2 feet. It had the ability to do some magic and was feared as it could fire quick bursts of random magic from its mouth that when it hit someone would cause parts of their bodies to either change to sand or scramble and disappear.
Mench was standing beside the soft magic stream smiling as everyone came barreling in. Balou would help each person up off the stream as they stopped.
“ Thank you young lovely, these old bones need a bit of guidance,” said Solcrist as Balou helped him to his feet.
“ I know you could have done it on your own, but I just thought you’d appreciate a random act of kindness,” said Balou with a wide mischievous smile.
“ And I do indeed, are you going to see Harci today?” asked Solcrist warmly.
“ I work for him, so yes I will,” said Balou as she laughed and rubbed Solcrist’s arm.
“ Would you escort me fine Madam, as I fear I may get lost?” asked Solcrist
coyly as he smiled down at Balou.
“ Well I would do it, but don’t you think we’ll need to know each other’s names, because what if you are dying I’ll need to know the right name to send help for,” said Balou implying a question.
“ I’ve been called shear greatness unbridled brilliance. But most warmly say Solcrist.”
“ Well, Solcrist, I’ve been called cute funny in spurts and often times the goofiest girl on the planet, but I usually respond to Balou,” said Balou warmly as she smiled.
“ You two wanna hurry it up I’m already thru half my lifespan. And, I’m dying to get something to nibble on,” said Famaron firmly as he tapped his foot.
“ Pay no mind to him, his parents used to poison him on the off chance he’d died repeatedly. What’s left of his brain is dead fish,” said Solcrist warmly as he put his arm around Balou.
Then Balou laughed and looked at Famaron and nodded. To which he looked at her in shock and said nervously,” He’s obviously joking, there’s brains up here, Balou, brains.”
“ Alright everyone let’s head inside and meet the knower of things. It will be, it,” said Mench then she walked towards the wall and it slid open.
Everyone followed her inside into a brief black round marble tunnel that was lit by several 8 foot torches that came out of the walls. The floor was covered in a red and green thick carpet that had Harci’s visage sewn into it. At the end of the tunnel there was a large dark brown star shaped door with a heat sensitive red door handle that would open when someone drew near.
Mench walked up to the door and it swung inward and revealed a million people in and around a massive thick purple grass field that had Harci walking thru. There were grandstands surrounding the
field with another million people sitting in brown leather chairs. The grandstand had a gentle incline with several 500 square foot black wooden roofs dotted all throughout them. Each of the huts had either mini restaurants or video arcades, even movie theaters that were side entertainment during whatever event was taking place.
“ Look everyone, there he is,” said Mench as she smiled and waved to Harci and he waved back and gently nodded.
Harci was tan skinned with long flowing blonde hair that looked like a lion’s mane. He was 6’3” and very muscular at 189 pounds. He had light green eyes that had 7 star patterns in each eye that were blue. He had a round nose that went to his upper lip. He also had a computer input under his right ear that was black steel and had a small green button and blinking orange light on it. He used this to boot up new books so he wouldn’t have to read them as well as other people’s fond memories so he could know them better spiritually. He had on a white cashmere turtle neck sweater with the Mastaphysical crest of an index finger dipped in wine, sewn onto the front in tan thread. He also had on tan dress pants with a brown leather belt that had the saying,” If we’re all wrong it’s only the question that was without purpose,” written across the front. He also had on a pair of brown leather sneaker soles that were tied to his feet with a magnetic rope that met in a silver clasp that kept them from falling off.
Everyone waded thru the crowd heading towards Harci who raised his hand and the crowd moved from their path. Mench walked up to him and asked,” Is our unrequited love still existing or can I kiss you?”
“ Kiss away beautiful, Mench,” said Harci as he gently put both his hands on her cheeks and kissed her passionately.
Then they stopped and Mench turned to everyone and looked at Ohgood and said slyly,” Watch out for this one here, he doesn’t let on how smart he actually is hmmm, Ohgood.”
“ Not true I let on exactly how smart I am it’s just most people aren’t paying attention,” said Ohgood smoothly then he grinned and nodded to Harci who smiled.
“ You are very wise, Ohgood, let me share a thought with you all. When a time comes that all of us are perpetually happy. The pain in us all will have advanced 10 fold. What that means is there can’t be forever joy it’s not a natural form of being,” said Harci brightly as he looked at everyone.
“ That was profound, I have one for you. Too many violent blows on another man’s form can lead to broken bones for both as his body hits your fist back with equal force. Point being, there is never a victory for anyone in wars. Do you agree with this, Harci?” asked Famaron intently as he put his arm around Camtow.
“ I do, but we will. This war with the Sorplecs will have to won by us or we won’t have a life to discuss and enjoy. I’ve heard that you, Famaron, will lead us in the battle. If I could ask you, what do you think our chances are?” asked Harci as he stepped closer to Famaron.
“ I’ll put it plainly, for us to win it will take an unbelievable ferocity on our path as well as a bit of luck. The Sorplecs have vast magical powers, but we have our own magic and, we have the advantage of preparation. When that day comes a side of me that I rarely show will be seen,” said Famaron sternly as he thought of his upcoming task of war and looked down.
“ What side is that?” asked Harci calmly as he put his hand on Famaron’s shoulder.
“ Unbridled destruction, I’ll probably kill a hundred men the first day and another the second. There’s a violence I hide from people that I won’t when the time is right,” said Famaron sternly as he remembered
when he was 12 and he killed 4 men who were attacking he and his mother by taking a dagger from one of them and going crazy and slitting 3 of their throats and burying the dagger in the 4th man’s chest, then he looked over at his mother who was in shock with blood all over his face and clothes.
“ Famaron, are you alright?” asked Camtow softly as she rubbed his chest.
“ I ah, yeah I’m alright it was just a second I needed,” said Famaron as he looked around at everyone.
“ You carry a deep pain with you I can see it. I don’t need to know what it is, a man is his pain, but there are other things I’d like to speak to you all about. Why don’t you come to my home, it isn’t far we could take me Mehelux nearby,” said Harci implying a question as he started to walk thru the crowd and they parted like the red sea.
“ We would love it, could we ask anything we want, or are some things inappropriate?” asked Ratie as she walked next to Harci and everyone else close behind.
“ Ratie, there is nothing you can’t ask. My life and thoughts are for all and any who wish them,” said Harci smoothly as he made a bird with his hands and flew it past Ratie’s face.
“ O.K., but how did you know my name, we’ve never met?” asked Ratie as she squinted and crinkled her face.
“ I am a powerful wizard, Ratie, and long ago I cast a spell on myself that gives me the names of all who come near me. Now how about a quicker route to my ship,” said Harci then he pulled out a Poglet ball and threw it onto the ground.
When it hit it cast a spell that created a Gobudy, which is a dark blue mini jet fighter without a roof. It had 15 leather bucket seats in 2 rows of 7 and a captain’s chair in the front. There’s a control panel and steering wheel in front, as well as a gunner’s laser canon on either side of the ship. The ship itself is disc
shaped with anti gravity thrusters on the bottom and a single jet in the back. It also has a massive sound system throughout the ship.
“ Alright, let’s get up and out of the coliseum and over to my ship,” said Harci as he stepped up onto the Gobudy with Ratie just behind.
“ I like the way he does things, very powerful, but kind,” said Penn as he climbed in.
“ Yeah kinda like me, but not as handsome,” said Ohgood jokingly as he sat down behind Harci.
“ I heard that, and I agree. Now let us lift up and leave down where it always is,” said Harci then he grabbed the controls and hit the thrusters switch.
The Gobudy lifted into the air smoothly and began to fly thru
the air over the smiling and waving hoard of people. They went up out of the coliseum thru a large hole. Soon they were speeding towards Harci’s Mehelux, but then Harci saw a Konno heading right for them that looked out of control as it was spiraling at incredible speed. Harci let go of the controls and gripped his black and red 8 foot wooden staff that had the head of Rascurn on top of it.
Rascurn was a powerful wizard of the 42nd century who became obsessed with self destructive magic. He turned himself into dozens of creatures from Corvubs to dragons. Then when he couldn’t take the modern world anymore he cast a massive Sar spell which was a combination of 8 spells, on himself turning his entire body into a huge mass of black magical energy. Then he took his new body and cast it into the sun leaving a permanent outline of his body the size of a skyscraper on it to this very day.
Harci shouted in an ancient dialect,” Moshavesh 8 morama!”
Then a pair of 50 foot wide magenta colored hands and arms appeared in front of the Gobudy. Harci began using the hands like they were his own as he reached out with the hands a stream of purple stars
shot out of the arms and he grabbed hold of the Konno and then lowered it to the ground. Then the pilots ran out of the ship and as they did it exploded sending them onto their stomachs, but they weren’t injured.
“ That was unbelievable, nice spell, Harci,” said Penn as he stared down at the pilots who stood up and waved.
“ There’s no one here who wouldn’t have done the same. We are wizardkind and this is our charge in life,” said Harci boldly then he flew the ship forward.
“ I agree, we’ve all known this at some point in our lives. There are things we share without ever saying a word,” said Veata as she thought about the power of Harci and his wisdom.
“ And we have hidden secrets and fears that make the same person at our cores. The saying goes, what are my friends, but the best and the worst of me in a different light without my fiery core. We will not need to ask a thousand questions to know each other, because we already know ourselves,” said Harci as he flew the Gobudy into the hangar bay on the side of his magenta colored Mehelux.
Inside they made their way to the bridge by going down a long hallway. There were thousands of trinkets Harci had collected from all over the universe from 3 inch dolls that looked like the people from Samto which were a race of green skinned white long haired people. To various flags of foreign worlds one showing a man half above the ice on top of a mountain with the words,” Cold blooded and burning up inside,” written across it as it was the Barmavor people’s flag from Fendor. There were also helmets from various armies one looked like a lion’s face only it had black sunglasses and a laser canon nose. The floor of the hallway had a Baatold’s fur rug of red and black that disappeared beneath the wall.
“ Well I’ve seen some hallways, but never one that had so many memories. Is there any place you haven’t been, like heaven?” asked Ohgood jokingly as he looked at a rubber painting of an ancient Peom king named Orath the One, which showed his crazed green eyes and huge broken nose.
“ I never went to your world of Parscan. I couldn’t there was much too much strife and debauchery. I worried all the souls there would be lost. So I am happy to see that I was mistaken. And heaven, Ohgood, is not a place to visit, but one to reside. Now for a bit of magic,” said Harci smoothly then he jabbed the tip of his staff into a hole in the floor.
Then suddenly a spiral staircase rose up out of the floor and came to rest in the 2nd floor. Then Harci turned and grinned and pulled his staff out of the floor.
“ That was nifty, very nifty, Harci. I’ll remember that one when I need something like random stairs,” said Mench slyly as she walked up the stairs behind Harci.
“ I aim to please, wait ‘til you see my bridge,” said Harci as he ascended the stairs.
Everyone walked up the stairs and came into a large bridge. It was 150 feet long and had a round shape, but with 2 sections. On one side it had 3 large leather chairs side by side covered in thick black, checkered and olive colored blankets with piles of clothes, food wrappers, and empty soda bottle in between them. There was also a robot table in front of them with the holographic movie,” When tears were just water,” playing on the table.
“ When tears were just water,” is a movie about a man named Brick and his aged father Portus who are at odds over the accidental death of the son’s mother. She dies in a horrible death by being thrown from a Mehelux when Portus opens an air vent and she is sucked out and falls 2,000 feet and lands on a jagged peak. Brick blames Portus and they end up in a brawl where Brick breaks his nose and left arm and leaves him for dead. Then Portus recovers and hires a large man to pummel his son to near death, but Brick gets the upper hand on his would be attacker and ends up breaking his neck and killing him. Then Brick goes after his father, but he takes his money and takes off as Brick chases him for 15 years. Then before Brick can kill him he dies accidentally when he trips and is crushed by a Mehelux.
There was also a full kitchen with TV’s on all the appliances and a glass heated oven filled with pies and 6 course meals. Then there was a black refrigerator with a square glass front that had a digital list of what was in it and how fresh the food was.
The other section of the room had a black captain’s chair with brown leather padding that was also the escape pod. It had all the controls and panels right in front and a Gasou shotgun right beside the chair in a red holster. To either side of it were 5 black leather chairs 10 in total that had jet thrusters built into them as well as a control joystick in case they needed to escape a crashing ship. There were pockets on either side with an array of weapons from grenades to Gasou pistols. Behind all of the chairs sat a massive hologram of 2 miles in every direction of the ship.
“ Well, this looks a little bit like a bachelor’s ship to me,” said Ratie coyly as she looked around the room at the walls that had all of Harci’s pictures and awards crammed on top of one another.
“ I confess the woman of my dream still eludes me and I live thusly. But that said a perfect life is always perfectly flawed. None of us can boast the errorless vision,” said Harci as he walked over to the captain’s chair and sat down.
“ You said dream don’t you mean dreams?” asked Ratie as she sat down close to Harci’s chair.
“ No meant dream, I had a dream 9 years ago of a beautiful seal black haired woman with lavender eyes and off white skin. In the dream she walked right up to me and kissed me so sweetly I can feel her lips right now. That woman, whose name I don’t know will find her way into my life someday and I will be truly blessed,” said Harci as he remembered the dream and closed his eyes and could almost feel her.
“ That’s so romantic, I’d give anything to find a man like you. I think a lot of women would. It’s the little things that find their way into our hearts,” said Ratie as she smiled and placed her hands on her lap and nodded.
“ The little things, endless walks, laughing at jokes that aren’t funny, back massages, rock hard muscles, nice hair, and oh last but not least steak sticks. I’ve got you women all figured out ha ha ha,” said Ohgood jokingly then he softly karate chopped Mench’s arm.
Everyone laughed and Mench said wryly,” I’m still available, Ohgood, and I’ve got lots of techniques and maneuvers that would make your head spin.”
“ Would that be as I’m falling to my death or when you’re putting my head back on my body, because either way I’m in and I mean I’m,” said Ohgood sarcastically then he made a growl like a Baatold and showed his teeth.
Mench laughed and said slyly,” I love your wry wit, but it comes with too much clothing. Give in to your animal side. I know we could find an amazing place together.”
“ I’ve been to that place there’s no toilets, a lack of proper bread, no where to build a sand castle, t
he soap smells like manure and I can’t get a decent tube sock. I refuse to go without tube socks!” said Ohgood loudly as he stamped his feet.
“ And you shouldn’t have to a man needs his feet comfy or what’s the point. I’m all for it, Ohgood,” said Harci sarcastically as he smirked and looked back at him.
“ Finally I find that kindred I’ve looked for all my life. Oh, and this PLACE, Mench, it has bad hygiene. It’s either daily showers or I’m not going!” said Ohgood sarcastically as he used a stern voice and threw up his hands and let out an awkward shriek.
“ You had me ‘til the shower thing, but if you won’t let me cover you in tin and pummel you with a hammer I’m out anyway,” said Mench then she gently punched Ohgood’s side and laughed.
“ You’re almost kinky enough for me. Do you think I could bury you for dead? Cause that’s one of my main turn-on’s. The others of course would be random butt slaps and singing off key thru a loud microphone,” said Ohgood sarcastically as he made goofy faces.
“ Me me and me again, what about sharp ax throws to one another and yelling, hey Ohgood I’m in the next room,” yelled Mench and then she said quickly,” and then when you come in naked and covered in oil there’ll be a light so blinding that your eyes will hurt for 30 minutes and you’ll see circles and squares. Then I’ll run over with a hard wooden mallet and give your balls a good wallop hmmm.”
“ Will you marry me?” asked Ohgood coldly as he spoke sarcastically and looked lovingly at Mench.
Mench laughed and then said slyly,” Only if I get to have 8 boyfriends on the side and not have to speak to you for months at ah time. And, when you are sick and tired I want you to live in a wooden shack by yourself until it passes hmmm.”
“ Yeah ah, gee what a great live you’ve got planned for me. I really hit the jackpot with all the things you’ve got waiting for me,” said Ohgood sarcastically in a dry tone and then said sternly,” I’ll do it, but only if I get 3 things from you and they’re nonnegotiable.”
“ Alright, anything at all,” said Mench quickly as she smiled and stared at Ohgood wide eyed and she took his hand.
“ 8 Meals a day of which are a minimum of 7 courses and served to me as a full orchestra plays my favorite song by the band,” 50 wet and dry,” called a thunderous orgasm while laughing. Number 2, 180 pounds of solid gold statues of my left index finger each of the 47 statues exactly one inch taller than the previous one. Thirdly, I never have to see, smell, hear, think about or know you at all until you’re buried in your platinum casket. Well, is it a deal?” asked Ohgood stolidly as he rubbed her hand and everyone laughed.
“ Only if I get to kill you on our honeymoon and use your ashes in my cigarettes,” fired back Mench as she smiled.
“ I would, but I couldn’t live with the knowledge I wasn’t in cigars. I’m sorry, Mench, I’m in love with a woman I haven’t met, but who is 70 years younger than you and has all her teeth,” said Ohgood calmly as he moved her hand off of his.
“ Well, we’ll always have nothing. At least there isn’t that,” said Mench slyly as she blew Ohgood a kiss and shrugged her shoulders and everyone laughed.
“ I knew you’d say that and it does matter to Meor the small boy who cleans the toilets. Meor loves you, find him, Mench, find him and love him in old and passionate ways. Don’t keep chasing the Ohgood express it’s too fast for you,” said Ohgood dramatically in a sarcastic voice then he turned away and pretended to weep.
“ I can’t your love is all I can think about besides pasta and chocolate ice cream and long walks and longer rests. And oh friends, my favorite movie Star Shattered and green grass and pockets of warm air. Ohgood, I’d almost consider not vomiting at the thought of your kiss if it meant we’d be together. Let me into your hearth, I think I may have burned up a copy of my favorite book Bone rewards,” said Mench dramatically as she gently punched Ohgood’s back as he tried to laugh and everyone else did.
“ Star Shattered,” was a movie about a religious cult of Yavi eaters, which is a blue and red fruit shaped like a baseball that transforms them into a race of 8 foot tall superhuman red skinned creatures with long arms and 3 foot wide claws. That can pulse large chunks of genome shattering green tear shaped magic. They also have the ability to change dimensions and hover 80 feet in the air with an anti gravity core. The cult is called the Porot and its followers the Hehas. They fight a massive battle with the Covador people who also inhabit the neighboring planet of Cova to their planet Sosec.
Bone Rewards is a diatribe about the Cetchus family who struggle with a genetic disorder that causes each of them to build relationships only to destroy them. After years of this practice the only people who will be their friends are each other. Then they begin to in fight and a massive fight to the death arises between 3 of the brothers where 2 of them end up dead in the Malay. The book is a true story written by Bone Cetchus the younger sister 6 months before she succumb to an attack by her mother.
“ Mench, you ignorant set of large bouncing breasts. Not only did I throw your copy of Bone Rewards into that very hearth I tossed in your collection of fine wine just to keep my toes warm. IN answer to the question at hand, if it weren’t for the bile that is your breath and the stink that is your sweat, I’d think about not impaling you as you slept. Menchy, you’re the last thing I think about when I wake up and the first thing I ponder when I see a ship on fire. Now if it will settle this right here and now, I’ll tell you the truth about my feelings for you, they’re not quite I wish you were dead, but they are I pray for your demise. How’s that, does that help?” asked Ohgood sarcastically as he gave her a playful slap on the cheek and gawked at her.
Everyone was laughing hysterically and then Famaron asked anxiously,” Hey, Harci, what’s that school of birds up ahead?”
Harci looked and realized what they were and said nervously,” Those aren’t birds they’re Etigues, and they are a whole lot of trouble if we can’t avoid them. I’ll try flying higher up.”
Etigues were black scaly 15 foot long bird like creatures only they had a massive head with a large mouth full of long jagged yellow teeth. They had 3 rows of green spikes above their eyes that were 18 inches long. Their noses were diamond shaped and could be used as an exploding projectile as it would hit your ship like a powerful grenade, then another nose would slid into place from behind it. They also had laser canons in their throats that could fire large egg shaped orange bursts. Their chests were massive and covered with an almost steel like cover that could detach and reveal a massive red ball behind it that
if the Etigue was about to die would explode taking all near with it. Its legs were covered in a red poison that killed all who got to close.
Harci flew the ship up towards the atmosphere, but the Etigues followed and began firing their laser canons into the bottom of the ship. Then Harci began firing his laser canons at the nearest Etigues and he hit 2 right in the head. Then their chests detached and there were 2 massive explosions that shook the Mehelux.
“ Whoa those sure aren’t birds. Can we go any faster?” asked Famaron quickly as he steadied himself.
“ We can, but so can they I’m gonna try a spell,” said Harci sternly then he raised his staff and shouted,” Toreriw clin!”
Then behind the ship appeared 3 dozen 8 foot wide light blue bubbles. And when a pair of Etigues flew close the bubbles shot at them and enveloped their whole bodies and shot mini explosions inward at the frantic Etigues. Blast after blast until suddenly one of them died and its chest exploded, but the bubble devoured the explosion and then disappeared. The other Etigue was being pummeled so it shot its nose and it exploded blowing away 2 thirds of the bubble. What was left of the bubble shot 2 more mini explosions at the Etigue and it died and then there was an enormous explosion sending what was left of the bubble into the other 8 Etigu
es, but they just shook it off an continued after Harci’s ship.
“ We knocked down 2 of them, but the pack is still in pursuit,” said Camtow nervously as she kept an eye on the hologram and felt fear rush thru her uncontrollably.
“ Fear not, there’s always more magic,” said Harci as he watched the Etigues fly around the bubbles safely and then raised his staff and shouted,” Te nino passiory!”
Then a half dozen mini red holes appeared in front of the Etigues that were portholes to a dimension filled with uncontrollable magic that would continually cast spell after spell on anyone who entered putting them in perpetual agony and despair. 4 of the Etigues were unable to avoid them and flew right in casting them to the 8th dimension once inside they began randomly changing from soda bottles to piles of dirt and even balls of blood.
“ We got another 4, that slims their attacks substantially, but the other 4 avoided them,” said Famaron boldly as he watched the hologram intently.
Then the remaining 4 Etigues launched their noses at Harci’s ship and when they hit it blew away a large chunk and started a raging fire. The ships built in extinguishers began dousing the flames with a blue flame retardant foam. The foam was so powerful within seconds the flames were no more.
What was remaining of the ship began to sway back and forth as long electrical charges of green burst out.
“ O.K. everyone the ship is straining to stay together and there’s no way to maintain this altitude or go thru the atmosphere. So we’re gonna have to head for either the surface and try to shake them or head for the hangar bay and take my Vostorms and ditch the ship entirely,” said Harci sadly as he shot his laser canons at the Etigues.
“ It doesn’t sound like you want to ditch,” said Penn nervously as he looked over at Harci.
“ I do not, there are many keepsakes and precious items in this ship and I’d never be able to recover the memories either. I don’t want to ditch, but I’ll leave the decision up to all of you,” said Harci as he shot one of the 4 remaining Etigues in the mouth and it blew out the back of his head completely.
Then the Etigue died and its chest plate fell off and it exploded sending a shockwave thru the Mehelux and everyone inside lurched forward. Then Harci flew the ship downward and Famaron said sternly,” Look everybody, I say we stay and fight. If I use a couple spells we can destroy the Etigues.”
“ Then do it and do it now before it’s too late,” said Mench quickly as she sat back in her seat.
Then Famaron raised his staff and shouted,” Abonam Bastwich!”
Then a red dragon that was 70 feet tall appeared with a laser canon in its chest and a long golden sword in its hand behind the Mehelux. The dragon flew at the Etigues blasting its laser canon, but the Etigues ducked the blasts and then fired back at the dragon with the laser canons in their throats. The blasts hit the dragon’s belly and a burst of fire and blood came gushing out.
“ He’s in trouble,” said Camtow anxiously as she gripped Famaron’s arm.
“ Don’t worry she’s still in the fight,” said Famaron firmly as he gave Camtow a kiss on the forehead.
Then the dragon flew after one of the Etigues and swung its sword in a lightning quick twirl and it went right thru the Etigue’s body cutting it in half. Then the 2 halves exploded burning the dragons’ skin.
“ We’re playing for keeps now,” said Ratie coldly as she stood up and rubbed her hands together and grimaced.
The 2 remaining Etigues blasted their noses at the Mehelux and Harci said frantically,” Everyone brace yourself quickly!”
Then the 2 bombs hit the rear end of the ship and exploded simultaneously causing a massive explosion that left only half of the ship as a huge circle of green electricity fired out of the back of the ship and a massive inferno was left. Then the blue foam was spraying over the destroyed area, but the flames persisted and entered into the lower decks of the ship.
“ O.K. looks like keepsakes or not this ship isn’t going to withstand another direct hit. I’m setting her down in that grove of trees,” said Harci sternly then he steered the ship towards the grove as it wobbled violently from side to side as he gripped the steering joystick tightly and sweat poured down his face.
“ I’ll take the guns,” said Famaron quickly as he leapt forward and took the gunners controls.
Then the dragon flew after the remaining 2 Etigues and shot its laser canon hitting one on the arm and blowing it completely off. A stream of blood shot out of the wound and the Etigue began to spin in circles uncontrollably, while the other shot a nose at the dragon, but the dragon ducked it. Then the dragon thrust its blade and hit the wounded Etigue in the chest causing a massive explosion that blew the dragon’s sword and arm to pieces as the fragments of the Etigue went in every direction. The remaining Etigue flew rapidly after the Mehelux. The Mehelux flew into the grove and landed and Harci shouted,” Everybody out and hurry there isn’t much time!”
Then everyone raced out of the room and out into the blue oak grove of trees, which were a blue tree with white floating tentacles like leaves that rose 150 feet and were shaped like a jellyfish. The trees were in perfect circles that made a large round pattern. There was also an underground river that sprung up thru the ground from inside a large red rock and continued for thousands of miles all the way to the Bloodlet ocean. There was also a large wooden chalet just up a small hill at the edge of the grove of trees. The chalet was purple, magenta, olive, and black and floated above the ground 8 feet with a robot’s garden beneath that had 4 dozen large and small robots sitting at tables playing poker. The robots were also playing instruments and drinking Sonbitc an alcohol for robots. There was a large multi colored smoke and light show around the robots as a trio of young boys and a young girl sat and watched on the tan couch in front of the chalet. The chalet was shaped like a violin set at a 45 degree angle and had bursts of blue electricity laden flames coming out of exhaust ports on the sides. There were also 8 windows shaped like Etigues on the first and 8 more of Dragons on the second floor. There was a
massive deck in the center of the 30 story building that was shaped like an upside down umbrella and had 7 large rooms with a thin rain repellent spray as roofs that kept the rain out. Each of the rooms depicted a different décor from different cultures on Permea. There was an anti gravity spiral staircase that led up to the front of the chalet, with each individual stair unattached to the others and had a different saying on them in gold or platinum like,” I’m always right,” as well as,” Children are childish so grow up and hate kids already.”
Everyone raced away from the Mehelux as the Etigues flew into the back end of it and began destroying it from within. The dragon came flying down and went in the ship behind the Etigue with lasers firing and nearly missed the Etigue.
“ Quickly, let’s get up to that chalet and out of sight,” said Harci boldly as he took one last look at the Mehelux and remembered his brother Sipp and the adventure they went on together to the planet of Korov in the Mehelux before he died.
“ Hurry, Harci , it is only a ship,” said Solcrist as he put his hand on Harci’s shoulder.
Harci looked over at him and caught himself and said,” Yes, yes of course.”
Then everyone darted up the small hill towards the chalet. Meanwhile inside the ship the dragon tackled the Etigue and the 2 beasts tumbled thru a wall and into a large gymnasium. The gym was pyramid shaped and had a star shaped red pool in the center, with Parman statues around the outside of the pool.
Parman Masure was the only man made from a spell cast by Harci himself 20 years prior. Parman went on to become a gifted wizard creating spells to heal sickness and alleviate all forms of physical pain in large crowds of people. He even was able to cast a spell that created a large 4 ton golden nugget. This was especially valuable as gold had been in pa
rticularly short supply for 50 years. Although this came as
a great surprise he was never able to duplicate the spell again. He did sell the nugget for the equivalent of 10 billion dollars. Then he took his wealth and created a paid reality for himself by paying a troop of 50 actors to live with him under the guise that he was the son of God and he was always right and to be worshipped by all of them. He would tell the worst jokes he could think of and the actors would laugh uncontrollably. Other times he’d have all the women strip naked and go to each one of them in a row and have sex with them. He had these same women address him as my loving husband and sexy man. Then one day he was watching his favorite TV show,” Too many small amounts,” and suddenly he disappeared as the magical energy that made him gave way and he was no more.
Too many small amounts, was a drama about 2 black skinned gargoyles named Em and Hate who find a vast cave filled with stolen artifacts like priceless paintings and vases filled with diamond studded gold jewelry, as well as large antique vehicles covered in platinum. Then Em and Hate begin to sell the items and reap a massive fortune. They take their new found wealth and buy themselves an army. Then they begin to battle the in house government. And before long they completely take over their country and soon the whole world. Once in power they go about killing off every member of the old regime down to their typists and hair stylists, they even kill their pets and enact a ban on ever speaking their names or practicing their religion again. Then they create a new religion based around the idea that their thoughts are pure thoughts and it it’s a way they see a thing then that’s the way it is. Then they begin impregnating every woman of beauty that can be found and before long they’ve spawned a royal race known as the Emhates.
The walls of the gym were burgundy and had tiny white spiraling strands of white and orange light billowing out of the walls that were a product of Harci’s late night spells. There was also an apple colored trio of imploding and exploding cubes of light blue light and smoke drops that were just beneath the apex of the ceiling.
The dragon and the Etigue rolled into the pool and went completely submerged. Bursts of laser fire under the water came out of the dragon’s chest and narrowly missed the Etigue. The Etigue punched the dragon in the eye with its remaining arm and its head smashed against the side of the pool. The dragon filled its throat with fire and shot it at the Etigue lighting up the water, but being extinguished by the same water, as bubbles of smoke shot up and out of the water and covered the surface. Then the Etigue shot its nose at the dragon, but as it hit the explosion was so massive it blew them both to pieces and ignited the bomb inside the Etigue blowing the Mehelux into a million pieces as the fuel cell ignited. The blast sent Harci and everyone 30 feet up the hill right to the front steps of the chalet. There in front of them stood a blue and lime green skinned man with a gargoyle black pattern repeating all over his 6’0” 181 pound frame. He had on a pair of light brown shorts slash knee high dress front. He also had on a gun belt across his bare chest that had a Pumie light thrasher hand pistol in the holster.
The Pumie light thrasher would use the spell cast upon Sorey stone and condense sunlight and then destroy it causing a massive charge of uncontrollable energy to build up in the Pumie. Then when you pressed the trigger and the steel door holding back the blue energy slid open, then a massive 7 foot wide swath of pure destruction would be unleashed devouring and annihilating everything that it was aimed at. The gun itself was a lime green and turquoise uneven line pattern that randomly changed every time the gun was fired. The gun itself had a 4 inch wide round chamber that had a 2 piece round 8 inch wide body filled with Sorey stone and on top was the light entering hexagon glass.
He had a wide nose at the top that got drastically thinner as it neared the tiny ball shaped tip. He had dark brown long hair with 5 multi colored braids on either side of his head. He had lime green piercing eyes with a 4 inch scar thru his left eyebrow and down to his cheekbone that he got in a knife fight with 4 attacking Peoms who he singlehandedly killed. In the center of his forehead was a helix design surrounded by a circle and 4 fists that he was born with. He had round bulging shoulder blades and large
heart shaped calves. He also had on red leather sneakers that had no laces only a series of magnets that kept them on and could be adjusted for tightness. He also had multi colored string necklace with a single black marble globe at the center of it that had the words,” If you think you can define me, you’ve missed the meaning of it all as I am the rain,” written around it in red letters. His name was Knucer Rach.
“ Hello there, your ship seems to need ah tune up,” said Knucer Rach as he crossed his arms and grinned.
Harci looked up and began to stand and said,” Yes, we had a bit of misfortune with a flock of Etigues. I am Harci and these are my friends.”
“ Hello there, Harci, I can see by all your mates you’re a pretty popular fellow. There was no need for introductions I’m a Pava, we have the gift of knowing people before we know them in life,” said Knucer as he looked everyone over and nodded.
“ I’ve heard of the Pava is it true you can turn yourself invisible?” asked Harci as he walked up to Knucer.
Then Knucer smiled and turned invisible. He walked over to Ratie and squeezed her tush and she laughed and jumped forward and asked,” What the crap was that?”
Then Ohgood felt Knucer grab hold of him and put him in a headlock. The two of them started to wrestle and Ohgood broke loose and said sternly,” Alright enough of this invisibility already.”
“ Fine,” said Knucer then he reappeared and said slyly,” That boy there has got a good bit of fight in him. I like that he’s good to have on your side in a battle.”
“ So it is true how fascinating, Knucer, my friends and I need transportation to my home is there any way you could provide it?” asked Harci as he looked around and then at Knucer.
“ Not at the moment, but the old bag of manure, meaning my wife Jacie will be back in an hour with our Guwera racing ship. Boy wait ‘til you see her long sleek and capable of unbelievable speed and the Guwera is great too. So yeah I’ll give ya ah lift, but ‘til then why don’t we head up to my house and I’ll fix you a bite to eat,” said Knucer warmly as h raised both eyebrows and then smirked at everyone.
“ I’m starving I say absolutely yes,” said Camtow as she thought of how hungry she was and hoped he had chocolate.
“ I agree with you 100 percent, do you have any steak up there?” asked Famaron.
“ Steak, of course I’m a fulltime restaurant owner and chef I’ve got every kind of food your heart’s desire including an assortment of deserts, as Jacie is a world class pastry chef. Follow the old Knucer I’ll show you the promise land,” said Knucer boldly as he turned and went up the steps.
Everyone followed and Ohgood saw a large red humanoid robot walking out of the robots garden towards him and said nervously,” I hope that robot isn’t a security robot.”
The robot was made to look like an elderly man and had a steel grey long hair look, with round bifocals and a steel white beard. It had a bulging smooth chest and a pair of large legs that were made to look like large muscles. It also had a green disc on its hip that was glowing and was used to be thrown at the ground to simulate an earthquake beneath the person it was thrown at. The robot was known as Old Prim and also had a jet pack on its back and could go for up to 1,000 miles.
Old Prim walked right up to Ohgood and glared at him and asked,” Can I bum a smoke?”
Ohgood looked at him in shock and then reached into his pocket and pulled out a pack of Gamiz light cigarettes and handed the pack to Old Prim and said slyly,” You know those will kill ya?”
“ I should be so lucky,” said Old Prim as he lit up the Gamiz and then exhaled and looked at the pack and said,” these are fine could have done without the light, but th
ey’re fine.”
Then he handed Ohgood the pack and turned and walked back over to the robots garden and the poker game.
“ I thought he was gonna kill me, instead I’m killing him slowly one smoke at a time. See you in hell, fool!” said Ohgood sarcastically as he clenched his fist and scowled at Old Prim who wasn’t looking at him.
They made their way up the anti-gravity stairs and inside the front doors of the chalet. Inside there were 8 different levels of gravity throughout the house that Knucer had put there with his artificial gravity machine in the floors. So in the first 2 rooms it was significantly less gravity making you almost float and your muscles relax. The first room was a jigsaw puzzles dark brown mahogany and white wood furniture that would slide or glide into different positions at the touch of a button or a voice command. There was a wooden fountain in the center of the room that was 15 feet wide and 30 feet high and rose into the second floor of a mountain community of Hashus, which were hairless fat round faced people who lived on the island of Haa. They each had wide round noses and blonde curly hair. The fountain showed hundreds of shoe shaped houses dotted all over the mountain, with trains connecting all the homes. There was also a large castle on top that had 37 spires and towers and was filled with dozens of stained glass windows and Hashus guards walking around it with rifles and laser whips. There was a massive glowing blue ring around the center of the mountain that had dozens of tiny Mucmust birds encircling. The Mucmusts looked like babies with wings of red and green and covered with turquoise feathers.
The room also had a row of 12 tan leather chairs set in front of a holographic projector that had a hologram saver of Knucer with a bat in one hand, a Baatold head in the other, with a smile on his face and the words,” I kill what I don’t understand,” floating in front of him in purple and light green stripped
letters. The floor was covered in Mucmust bird’s feathers sewn together in a large rug with the image of God in the center. The walls of the room were fluxing in and out and pieces were spinning in and out showing different paintings and sculptures even awards that Knucer’s restaurant had won.
“ Everybody grab a seat and this old fool will get some eats,” said Knucer slowly as he hunched over and looked at everyone with a goofy expression on his face and then said plainly,” no really sit down you’re creepin’ me out.”
“ Oh, o.k.,” said Veata then she flopped down in one of the tan leather chairs and grabbed the remote joystick off the table and said softly,” let’s see what we’ve got for movies.”
“ I’m guessin’ it’s nothing, but war pictures and Baatold porn. Either way I bet it’s a ditch digger’s paradise,” said Ohgood as he sat down beside Veata and with Ratie next to him.
“ What oh crap does that mean?” asked Ratie as she smirked and looked over at Ohgood.
“ I have no idea it just felt cool to say,” said Ohgood smoothly as the list of holographic movies appeared in front of him.
It showed 57 war movies and 89 comedies, 18 dramas, 74 chase movies and one titled,” Baatolds are they lovers.” Ratie saw this at the same moment Ohgood did and looked at each other and burst out laughing.
“ Hey here’s one,” The Giving man’s reward,” I like the title and it’s a drama slash comedy which I like,” said Veata then she looked over at Ohgood and shrugged her shoulders.
“ Works for me,” said Ohgood quickly as he shrugged his shoulders.
“ Then here we go,” said Veata then she started the movie.
“ I just hope it’s not like…overly a downer. Those movies really are no good,” said Ratie as she sat back in her seat and then let out a sigh.
“ I agree I need a good time,” said Mench as she crossed her legs and watched the movie start.
The movie started with a long blonde haired man with a thick red beard that had a silver triangle attached at the bottom with the words,” A reign can’t withstand the death of passion,” engraved onto it with gold. The man had white and red eyes that gave off an inner calm. He was 5’11” and 175 pounds and very chiseled. He was overly handsome and had a prominent nose. He had on black leather boots, a white cashmere sweater with a 2 inch collar and also a pair of brown corduroy pants with leather knees and a single word,” Tepid,” on the front. He was named Salt Grenaz and was shown running full speed thru a thicket of purple trees with thin white silky branches that numbered in the thousands. The grass was turquoise and 3 inches long and was thick and very soft. As he ran thru every tree he ran past began to open up a hole in its trunk and out flew these magenta pig like creatures with a helicopter wing on top known as Pomu’s.
“ Get away from me!” shouted Salt as he looked back and saw the Pomu’s.
Then 300 hundred of the Pomu’s had formed behind him and were flying after him. Salt finally ran out of the trees and out into a massive Goobl filled lake, which was a black liquid that was very dense and could be run or walked on. By now the wall of Pomu’s were nearing as well as Kamers came flying out of the Goobl, which were a rat faced fish that loved human flesh. The silver triangle on his beard began to glow bright red and sent out a thick ring of tiny light triangles that floated in the air and were quickly eaten by the Pomu’s and Kamers as more and more Kamers shot up out of the Goobl. In front of him at the far end of the lake there was a black and light green painted castle with a swirling pattern all over the 20 story high structure. It had a long green grass lawn leading up to it with radical olive colored magic spewing fountains lining a path up to the castle. The fountains caused the air and dimension to bend and
bursts of a white and red goo shot up into the air and became Raso birds, which were a jet propelled yellow feathered 18 foot long bird with bright green eyes. The castle itself was shaped like a trio of redwood trees in a triangular pattern and had a spiraling deck connecting the trio. There were hundreds of tan skinned people in vivid robes on the shores in front of the castle dancing and mingling and many others drinking and eating on the castle’s deck.
Salt looked back and shouted,” Get away I’m not dying!”
He began to run even faster as his adrenaline kicked in. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a red flask filled with Sorto seeds and began swallowing the green club shaped seeds. Within a few seconds a massive outline of flames surrounded him and he began to run even faster and a trail of fire was left in his wake.
“ Go legs go please go faster,” pleaded Salt as he ran at 60 M.P.H. with the Pomu’s just behind and beginning to sing a loud piercing melody.
The Kamers shot up in front of Salt and went for his throat, but he blasted a round blue and white energy from his eyes and cooked the Kamers alive and their dead bodies lay smoking on the Goobl.
“ Try that again and you’ll get the same,” said Salt coldly as he got within 200 feet of the lake’s edge.
As he raced 4 Pomu’s latched onto his back, but as they did a massive energy halo appeared around him that decimated the Pomu’s and blew them to pieces. He ran the last 50 feet in full stride as the party guests looked up and saw Salt and the Pomu’s heading their way. The guests scattered and just as he touched dry land the lake behind him turned into a solid block ice and thrust upward and crushed the Pomu’s to death. Then the massive ice block revealed an underwater castle with a family inside looking out thru the ice terrified. Then Salt turned and saw this and raised both hands in the air and tilted his head
back then violently forward and a massive wall of black light and smoke shot thru the lake melting it in a matter of seconds and the underwater castle disappeared beneath the Goobl.
“ I can’t believe that just happened, good movie,” said Ratie in awe as she smiled and looked at Ohgood.
“ Nice choice, Veata, I never saw that comin’, whoa that was sicksville,” said Ohgood in awe as he shook his head.
“ Thank y
ou, but I can’t take all the credit it’s Knucer’s movie collection,” said Veata then she looked up and saw Knucer walking in with a red anti-gravity table in front of him filled with 10 plates of chopped up steak and thick alfredo cheese angel hair pasta, as well as whipped creamy green potatoes with a thick country gravy on top and Dolats.
Dolats were a red vegetable that had an inner core of a rich cinnamon and were very sweet and easily chewed.
There was also a large picture of Boum juice, which was similar to a strawberry orange juice on the side.
“ Who’s dyin’ to be tryin’ some dinner?” asked Knucer proudly as he walked over to everyone and then stopped and began handing out the plates.
“ Just in time the movie’s heatin’ up and I need sustenance,” said Ohgood as Knucer handed him a plate, utensils, and a black cup of Boum juice.
Everyone else grabbed their plates and began eating. Meanwhile in the movie Salt was inside the castle in the upstairs study standing in front of Marmis So. The room had 4 solid walls filled with books with square cabinets in the middle of each wall with antiques and even dildos on each of the shelves.
The middle of the room was 4 feet lower than the rest and had a liquid blue couch held together by anti-gravity with an off white blanket over it to keep you dry and a water repellent on the underside, that was L shaped. There was also a holographic movie playing on and around the couch with the characters walking over whoever was sitting on the couch. In front of the couch there was Gitsoma half breed lion with a pair of king cobra snake heads and a scaly green tail sitting on top of a ten pound slab of Baatold meat. The movie that was playing was called,” Tearing a perfect line in stone,” starring a bulbous dark brown haired green skinned troll that destroys millions of minds by speaking with only a few and then letting them spread his message of death unknowingly. The floor in the study was covered in a dark green and blue cashmere rug that went over ever inch.
Marmis was a statuesque 6’3” short haired goddess that had a gorgeous face that consisted of a set of large pouty red lips, sultry eyes and a small button nose. She had a thin figure without an ounce of fat on her whole body. She was wearing an off white shoulder less dress and a white chiffon veil, as well as a blue diamond necklace with a W shaped red diamond in the center that was 400 carats. She also had on white 3 and half inch heals that were toeless.
“ Hello, Salt, I thought some lucky lady had killed you already. Could it be it will be I who has the pleasure?” asked Marmis snidely as she sat on the couch with her legs crossed.
“ This charm on my beard has cursed me a million times! I want free of it forever you bitch!” screamed Salt as he glared at Marmis.
“ I don’t see how that is any of my concern. As I remember, you asked for the charm to help you thru your life. Aren’t you still breathing thru that hideous beard of yours?” asked Marmis snidely as she chuckled to herself.
“ Look, no man would want what I’ve seen. Every creature in the world is called to this charm like it’s the greatest thing they’ve ever seen!” shouted Salt as he clenched his fist and the charm covered his body in a green glowing light.
“ I think it becomes you, it’s very dashing,” said Marmis slyly then she threw him a wink.
“ I’m gonna beat you to death if you make one more wise crack. Now listen up you wench, I was a sane rational man once who dreamed of a better life for me and my son, who by the way I haven’t seen in 2 years. Now, when I asked you for this you said it would make me rich and it has, but I have no way to spend it while I’m being chased all day by every weird and deadly animal on the planet! I say this alright, you duped me let’s face it and I admit I am a bit of a prick so maybe I deserved it, but…I think you should goddamn help me out. I mean you shafted me and I’m sure you’ve had a hearty laugh, but even you must be tired of laughing,” said Salt honestly as he looked at Marmis with a smirk as she burst out laughing uncontrollably.
“ No, not particularly, how ‘bout this I’ll free you in 35 years I promise. Wait, even better 45 so you’ll be dead when I do?” asked Marmis then she burst out laughing and rubbed her inner thighs even the Gitsoma appeared to be chuckling.
“ Look you crazy bitch, this isn’t funny. It wasn’t funny the first 30 minutes when my pet cobra Bottomless Jake decided he wanted to devour his owner in his sleep as I lay down for a nap. Now, I say this give me my life back or I’ll do horrible things to you so bad, I’ll be doomed to no hope of an afterlife. Now, bitch, which is it?” asked Salt plainly as he looked at Marmis wide eyed.
“ Well, I’ll tell you what I’ll do, first thing tomor…next century I’ll find a goat with a dark red butterneck, and I’ll say to this goat, goat my dear friend Salt needs help can he eat your excrement and be
rid of the charm?” said Marmis sarcastically then she pulled out an 8 inch long red cigarette known as a Pansk and lit it up and then burst out laughing.
“ Oh this is the big laugh at Salt’s expense. Let’s all belittle him no he hasn’t suffered enough. Just go ahead and break my will, it’s only the last thing I have in this world,” said Salt sadly as he shook his arms and then clutched his left bicep and began to shake and cry.
“ Good idea, you’re nobody you’re worthless. A man like you is good for 2 things, a punch in the balls and a coffin filler. Now here this, I’ve decided to help you,” said Marmis as she looked intently at Salt.
“ You will?” asked Salt hopefully as he took a step towards her and smiled.
“ Right into the ground, I mean deep none of this 6 feet crap I’m talkin’ you and 70 feet of dense brown soil on top of ya. Now isn’t that help huh, handsome?” asked Marmis sarcastically then she pretended to be shoveling as she stood up and grinned from ear to ear.
“ You heartless tramp, you would have me dead. Don’t you care about this man you’re destroying?” asked Salt sadly as he bit his lip.
“ I do, but only if I get the first 7 shovels of brown stuff on your head. You’re a rube, you were an egotistical pig when you asked me to help you and now you’re right under my shovel taste the silver nice hmmm,” said Marmis as she continued to pretend to shovel and threw Salt a wink and laughed out loud.
“ Taste the silver, I’m only gonna ask one more time and if you say no I’m gonna have to kill you so which is…” asked Salt before being cut off .
“ No you idiot I wouldn’t help you buffoon brain slice of a piece of liquid toast. Go ahead, do me in you weasel,” said Marmis defiantly as she pulled out a pair of Morshito bracelets and put one on each hand.
“ Remember this day, wench, it was your last!” said Salt coldly then he ran at Marmis and tried to shoot a laser from his eyes, but only a small puff of smoke came out and he stopped and asked,” What happened to my eyes?”
“ Who cares let’s go you little prick,” said Marmis then she jumped over the Gitsoma.
Marmis ran up to Salt and punched him in the chest with the Morshito and the blow sent him 40 feet in the air and into a row of books. The books popped open a secret passageway behind them as 2 dozen of the books flew up into the air. Salt fell to the floor and grimaced in pain as he rubbed his face and a stream of blood dripped down from his lower lip.
“ Let’s go, brat, I’ve got your beating to tend to then it’s sex with Romrad. And oh doesn’t he love me when I’ve been bad so get up!” shouted Marmis as she walked briskly towards Salt.
Then Salt began to rise and spin in a circle as triangles of purple and light green shot out of the charm. One of them shot at Marmis and when it hit her she turned into a liquid light blue body and lightning shot out of her as she screamed,” Help me, someone help me!”
Then she burst into a wide pool of water and soaked the rug as Salt stopped spinning and looked over casually and said coldly,” Well now you’re all wet, Marmi
s, and you can’t harm another.”
“ Didn’t see that coming,” said Ohgood as he finished his meal and laughed.