CHAPTER 8
A Princess in Two Worlds
As her father spoke, Etheria had the distinct feeling that she had somehow jumped forward into the future, and was now watching a replay of this very event—when it hadn’t even happened yet! Time had slowed to such a crawl that, as she watched her father form the words with his lips in seeming slow motion, she seemed to know exactly what he was going to say long before he actually said it.
This had a curious effect, as it made it seem like she was reliving the same moment twice. But beyond that, it had the unusual impact of adding more credence to what he was saying. So it was that, when the King had finished speaking (apparently for the second time), Etheria seemed to know that what he spoke was the absolute truth. She was, beyond a shadow of a doubt, a child of two realities; at home both here and in the waking world.
Something happened the moment that Etheria accepted this truth that she wouldn’t have thought possible: her body began to vibrate at an even higher frequency than before, and she could hear and feel a deep roar in her ears. In response to this, she closed her eyes, and the light that had been hiding there practically blinded her.
It was a familiar light there behind her eyes. It was one that was full of images that flashed at her so quickly that, if she hadn’t been able to recognize that she was a part of them, she would have thought it to have been little more than a hyper kinetic slide show. Funny, she thought to herself, I know what a slide show is now. She’d never seen one in Thenken, as there was no photography, nor even electricity to power a light bulb to project photographic images.
The images behind her eyes flowed past like a silent movie, and told the story of her life—a life that, until now, she had been completely unaware of. In the frantic images, she saw the world that she shared with her mother. It was a world that was much different than the forest. It was a world of modern cities with machines, electronics, concrete, noise, and people.
It was a world of millions upon millions of people. And every one of them human.
There were people brushing by her on the sidewalks. People huddled into buses, and houses, and buildings. People choking tiny roadways with their millions of cars. People driving mostly back and forth to work, or to run errands and, when time permitted, rushing off to make highly regulated visits to forests that were antiseptic and manicured by Thenken standards.
There were so many people, and the Princess hardly knew any of them. In that world, she was continually surrounded by a multitude, yet she was still, perpetually, so very much alone. In that world, she was isolated by her individuality, and was a virtual unknown in a sea of strange faces.
It wasn’t like it was here in Thenken, she realized with a fond smile. Everybody knew her as the Princess here in the forest, and somehow this thought made it easier to accept such abject anonymity in that other part of her life that she was just now becoming aware of.
The dream world and the waking world, she thought to herself.
Funny, she pondered. She was already seeing them as individual and distinct. In fact, as she sat and thought about it, she realized that these opposing realities were very much like the Head and the Heart waterfalls far below her. One very much rooted in the tangible, and the other in the fantastic.
If what her father said was true, she was the first child to bridge the gap between the two worlds, and live in both realities simultaneously. Where these worlds had once been very separate they had, through her, been finally integrated.
An exciting thought occurred to her: Was she the first of many?
She stretched her neck a little, settled deeper into her seat and, for the first time, felt the coolness of the stone throne beneath her. Her father was floating off to her side, respectful in his silence, and giving her space and time to absorb his latest revelation.
Space to think.
Time to understand it all on her own.
Where had all the memories of her waking life been all this time? How was it that she remembered everything all at once?
Etheria didn’t know it at the time (her father would eventually tell her why later), but it was all due to something called dream amnesia.
You’ve experienced dream amnesia if you’ve ever had a completely fantastic dream where you were doing something entirely impossible (like flying, or walking on water), and it didn’t seem at all odd to you.
You’ve experienced dream amnesia if you’ve ever woken up a little bit inside one of your dreams, but still couldn’t remember important details about yourself. These kinds of dreams are called lucid because you’re aware that you’re dreaming, and you’re almost fully conscious within them. Yet, oddly, during such an experience, it is almost impossible for you to recall any real details about the waking world. Perhaps you might try and remember what day of the week it is, or what colour your pyjamas are. You might even try and think of what city you live in, or how old you are. It doesn’t matter, because you will inevitably find that, in dreams like this, you can’t remember even the simplest of details about yourself.
It’s because you’ve got dream amnesia.
Dream amnesia is how your mind is able to convince you that anything that happens in your dreams is perfectly normal. It does this by isolating you from the waking world, so that you simply cannot remember what is and isn’t possible. If you could remember your life in the waking world clearly, it would serve to remind you of your limitations, and you wouldn’t be able to do half of the fantastic things that you regularly do in your dreams.
In retrospect, there were numerous gaps in her memory that the Princess was finally able to acknowledge, but simply hadn’t noticed before. There were times for instance when she would just simply disappear from the forest, and finally come back a few days later, as if she had never left. Indeed, time moved differently here in Thenken, and sometimes she would slip in for a visit while daydreaming in some class at school, and stay for what seemed like weeks.
There were, she realized finally, many occasions during her time in the forest when Etheria had thought about her Mother. Seldom though did she ever find herself missing her, and in truth this had always made her feel a little guilty. Now she understood why. She didn’t miss her mother in Thenken, because she saw her every day in the waking world!
Etheria took a deep breath, and felt the vibrations settle into her feet for a moment before they rocketed back up her body to explode in her head. The parade of memories continued behind her closed eyes.
A few times in the past, she had heard about how memories can sometimes come flooding back to you, and she always wondered how that was possible. Now she knew. These memories that flickered behind her eyes had in fact always been right there in front of her, it was just that she had never been able to see the entirety of them until now. It was just like earlier today, when she began to recognize the form of the person below her from high up in the tree. The moment she realized that she was seeing a hand at the end of an arm, she could suddenly recognize individual fingers that she had been looking directly at, but not seeing.
And hadn’t it gone the other way too? How many times in the waking world had the knowledge and memories from Thenken provided consolation? Especially during those times when she was feeling unaccepted, rejected, and alone. At times when those other girls at school had called her names, and called her a ‘freak’.
During these difficult times, the Princess had always been able to use her mind to retreat to her own personal sanctuary, and know that she was welcome and accepted there. It was a warm place that she had not, until now, realized was Thenken. Now that she knew, it would make the retreat all the more special.
Etheria smiled as she realized that she now actually agreed with those bullies in the waking world. She actually was a freak, and very proud of that fact. A freak was just another word for somebody who was special, and even though she had always known that she was special she didn’t, until now, know exactly just how much.
She was special.
She was different.
The Princess reached up to put her hand to her head. It was all so wonderful, but also very overwhelming. She felt a hand on her shoulder so she opened her eyes, looked over at her father and smiled. He was still floating cross-legged, but had flipped over and was now hanging upside down above and beside her, his amber pendant dangling beside his left ear. He squeezed her shoulder lightly but firmly.
“You’re old enough to know this now,” he said to her warmly. “Old enough to become completely self-aware in both Thenken, and the waking world.“
Etheria furrowed her brow in thought, cleared her throat quietly, and voiced a question that she had not been able to resolve on her own.
“Which one is real?”
The King did a back flip in mid-air, extended his legs, and touched down lightly on the plateau beside Etheria. He shrugged as he answered. “They both are.” His tone of voice seemed to indicate that the answer was an obvious one. Still, he could see that his daughter continued to frown, so he continued.
“You’re wondering how it is that a dream world like Thenken can truly be said to be real?”
Etheria looked off into space briefly, and then nodded.
“OK, look at it like this. In the waking world—your Mother’s world—how do you know if something is real?”
Etheria didn’t even have to think about the question. Immediately, she answered, “I know that it’s real when I can see it.” She realized though in retrospect that there was more that she could say, so she added, “Or when I can touch it. Or hear, smell or taste it.”
“So, something is real when you perceive of it with one or more of your five senses?”
“Yes.”
The King had begun to pace—something that he enjoyed doing when he was engaged in a spirited discussion like this one—but he couldn’t walk far on the plateau of Conjuring House Rock, so he was forced to walk in circles around the stone seat while Etheria stared upriver at the falls.
“So, by that definition, is the chair that you’re sitting on real?” asked her father as he moved behind her.
“Not really,” she answered instinctively although reluctantly. “If this is all a dream, it can’t really be real.”
“But you can feel it,” Rowan spoke confidently. “You can touch it.” He accentuated his point by forming a fist with his right hand and lightly rapping his knuckles against the stone arm of the chair a few times.
“By your previous definition, this chair should be real,” he said, once more standing directly in front of the Princess. “But, you hesitate to call it real because of where you are.”
“In Thenken”, said Etheria in agreement.
“But, why can’t it exist? Why can’t this chair be real?” His voice came to her from directly behind her left ear; he had moved out of range of her peripheral vision again.
She pursed her lips into an uncomfortable expression, and didn’t answer him. The truth was, Etheria was having a difficult time reconciling her two new worlds. She had grown up as much in Thenken as in the waking world, and although the sensibilities that she used to interpret her reality in that other world were all of a sudden assuming control of her reasoning, she still felt a certain amount of loyalty to the dream world that was her father’s Kingdom.
The King finally assumed from his daughter’s prolonged silence that she was unwilling to respond, so he continued.
“What’s the difference between this world and the waking world? By your own definition, if you see or touch something, it must be real. Can’t that apply to things you see or touch in your dreams?”
Etheria’s lips remained pursed. Twice though, she opened her mouth to say something, but then thought better of it and closed it again.
“Look at it from this perspective,” said the King. “Did this chair exist before we got here?”
Etheria finally broke her brief silence to answer, “No.”
“Where did it come from?” spoke her father quickly building up momentum.
“You used magic to create it.”
“Perfect!” The King clapped his hands together. “Now consider this. As you well know, magic comes from thoughts. So, when you have a thought in your head, does that thought exist?”
Etheria took a moment to think, trying to see where her father was going with this. She was pretty sure the direction he was headed, but not so confident as to jump ahead on her own and make a leap of logic. At least, not yet. For now, she would have to continue to answer each question directly.
“Yes, my thoughts exist.”
“AHA!” exclaimed the King. Etheria was momentarily taken aback by the passion in her father’s voice, and the volume of his declaration. She looked over at him as he continued.
“How is that possible?” he said. “You can’t physically feel your thoughts like you can this chair. You can’t show them to somebody else. You can’t see, smell, hear or taste them.” Her father was standing directly in front of her again gesturing at her with his hands. He was pulling what seemed to be hairs out of his head, and placing them in the palms of his hands which he held open in front of her like a book.
“Yet these thoughts exist. You, who earlier admitted that something had to be perceived of with one of your five senses to be real, has admitted as much.” He slammed the imaginary book in his palms shut. “Your thoughts are real Etheria, if for no other reason than because you know they are.”
The King placed a hand on each arm of the chair and leaned forward to look Etheria directly in the face.
“Your thoughts may only exist within you, but they have one very important thing in common with this chair.” He stopped to take a well earned breath. “They exist.”
He stared into her eyes for a moment, and then stood up straight again. “So Etheria, is it possible for something to exist even though you can’t perceive of it with one of your senses? Is it possible for something to be real even though you are the only one who knows about it?”
The Princess didn’t directly answer the question. Finally, she was able to see where her father was headed, and she skipped ahead by saying, “Just like dreams.”
“Exactly! Well done Etheria!” The King reached out, grasped her hands and squeezed them tightly as he continued. “Dreams are just as real as anything that you perceive in the waking world. It’s not a choice about which one is more real than the other, because one is just as real as the other.”
Rowan gave his daughter’s hands one last squeeze, and then released them. He turned to face upriver, and together they stared up at the triple falls in front of and below them. It was obvious that the King had made his point, and didn’t want to belabour it, so both waited in silence, the only sound now was the rushing roar of the integrated waterfalls before them.
It had been a long day, and Etheria’s head felt like it was spinning. I’ve learned so much today, she thought before immediately correcting herself. No, I haven’t actually learned these things today, I’ve simply remembered them. The Princess knew that these things had always been a part of her, and she was now simply becoming aware of them as she integrated them into consciousness.
As Etheria reflected on what her father had just told her, she realized that most of it made sense—except for one thing: the disappearance of her Mother. Her father had said that her Mother had been unable to realize magic, and couldn’t see the wonder all around her in Thenken. Etheria could understand how that applied to magical occurrences, like for instance her father floating in the air cross-legged, but what of the magic in normal everyday reality? The kind her father had just told her about. Why couldn’t she see that?
Finally, Etheria broke the new silence.
“I don’t understand something. It’s about Mother.” The word hung in the air between them, and Rowan turned to look at his young daughter again, with a look of bemused expectation on his face.
“If Thenken is so much like the reality of the waking world,” Etheria said. “How is it that she lost t
he ability to see it?”
“Excellent question,” said the King slowly. “Perception is more powerful than most of us realize. Most of the time, we only see what we want to see, and this was certainly true of your Mother.”
He reached into a hidden pocket in his robe and pulled out a couple of shiny red apples, handed one to Etheria, and took a small bite out of the one in his hand.
“Thenken wasn’t her home,” he said between chews. “Like me, she came from the physical world, but many people from that reality find it harder to perceive things as they really are. Instead, they filter things through their senses, and what finally gets back to the brain isn’t necessarily what it started out as.”
He wiped apple juice off the corner of his mouth and continued. “It’s ironic really. They use the magic of their thoughts to alter their own perceptions to convince themselves that magic doesn’t exist. They use magic to hide the magic. Fantastic things in the waking world either become completely commonplace, or entirely invisible. Sadly, many of those who are able to perceive of magic in the waking world that nobody else can see, are more often than not committed to mental institutions because of it. Does that make sense?”
Etheria nodded her head. This concept wasn’t exactly new to her, and every time she heard it, she seemed to understand it a little better.
“Actually, it all makes a weird kind of sense,” continued her father as he swallowed the last of the apple. “If a person is so entrenched in their own reality at the expense of all other possible ways of being, then it is possible that magic will have no effect on them whatsoever. It’s not so much that magic ceases to exist for them because they don’t believe in it.“ The King chuckled. “No, it’s not like fairies that die off along with your belief in them. With magic, it’s more like you just don’t realize when you’re doing it.”
Rowan tossed the core of his apple high up into the air. They both followed its flight as it tumbled, finally landing in the trees that lined the top of the canyon wall on their right. As it hit the ground, it exploded into a puff of golden sprinkles that coalesced upwards to briefly form the shape of a fully grown apple tree before finally being dispersed by the wind.
Then the King stepped back from the edge of the chasm, and reached out and pulled Etheria to his chest and hugged her tightly.
“The most powerful form of magic is that which we do on ourselves. Your Mother used magic that she didn’t realize she possessed to hide both the magic and the reality of Thenken from herself.” He took a very deep, almost sorrowful breath. “If there’s a way to make her realize either one, I don’t know what it is.”
This was unusual for Etheria. She wasn’t used to her Father not having an answer for something. She was quite sure that even when he didn’t know something, he would simply make it up as he went along. She looked thoughtfully at him, seeing a new part of his personality that she had never noticed before.
The King pulled away from the hug, and gently slipped his arms under Etheria’s armpits to pull her off the seat. Standing now beside the chair, the sensation of warmth and electricity had faded somewhat, but she could still feel the connection to the waterfalls, and the power that they represented. She realized happily that she always would.
The Princess thought about what her father had told her this day (was it only a day—it really felt more like a week), and how her Mother couldn’t see the magic anymore. She thought about how her own image in the rock wall kept fading, and the fact that her father had said that her future in Thenken wasn’t necessarily guaranteed. This gave her an unsettling thought.
“Dad,” she said. “Will I ever stop realizing magic?”
Rowan smiled lightly, and gently pulled her closer again to kiss her lightly on the forehead.
“I hope not,” he whispered. “But ultimately it is your choice to make. It’s like I’ve always said Etheria. Your mind is like your bed…”
“…you have to make it yourself.” Etheria finished mockingly, relieved that the tension of the conversation had finally been broken. Then she continued tauntingly. “I never could figure out that expression though. You make your bed, but you make up your mind. It’s not the same thing…”
Rowan smiled at her, but didn’t respond to her teasing. He glanced briefly at the throne, and it melted quickly and unceremoniously into the plateau.
“It’s been a long day,” he announced. “What say we head on home. There’s a cave portal just downstream.”
Then the King abruptly stepped off the edge of the rock, and threw himself headlong into the chasm beyond. He tumbled for a while and, seconds before he hit the water, turned into a dolphin and plunged into the river with barely a ripple. Then, a short ways downstream, he leapt up out of the water again, did a flip and splashed back in.
As she watched her father swim further and further away, Etheria finally pulled out her wand, tapped herself on the head and transformed herself back into her eagle form. Then she jumped off the rock, caught the air in her wings and soared majestically off into the sky.
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