In the yard stood strangers, greeting Gavin, Ryder, and Brody with hugs and cries of relief. I became very self-conscious as they turned and stared at us as we rode closer. I didn’t look my best. My clothes were grimy and I smelled like horse and smoke from a campfire. My hair was matted and there were still bruises on my face from Paul.
Cash pulled the horse to a stop a short distance from the group. Swinging his leg over, he dismounted, wincing from the pain in his ribs.
I immediately missed him near me. I wondered how I would ever live without him. But I might have to if he still wanted to leave me.
I bit my lip to keep from crying. When he reached up to help me dismount, I slid off the horse without his help. He looked at me with irritation but covered it up quickly and replaced it with cool aloofness.
“I don’t want you to hurt your ribs,” I whispered in way of explanation.
His eyes darkened. Before he could argue, a childish squeal ripped through the air.
“Cass!” a little, dark-haired girl shrieked, wiggling out of Ryder’s arms and down to the ground.
She held out her chubby arms and ran toward us. Dark brown curls danced on her tiny shoulders and tossed about in the wind. Her little blue dress bounced against the ground and tiny shoes peeked out as she ran.
Cash bent down and caught her as she flung herself at him. Sweeping her off the ground, he winced from the pain in his ribs but it was such a quick expression – there then gone – I doubted anyone would have noticed.
“Hello, Emma,” he said, holding her in his arms. He cupped one hand around her waist and the other around the back of her head and those curls.
The girl – Emma – pulled away and looked at him. “What happened?” She poked at one of the bruises on his face.
He grimaced. “Nothing you should worry about, Emma.”
Emma scrunched her delicate brows together and glanced up at his head. “Where your hat?”
Cash gave her a lopsided grin and tugged at one of her curls. “I lost it, Em. You got one I can borrow?”
Emma scrunched her face then shrugged and buried her little fingers in Cash’s hair. “Nope. Ask Daddy.”
Cash chuckled and lifted her higher to rub his nose in her round tummy. She giggled and grasped his hair tighter, her cheeks going rosy.
When Cash stopped tickling her, she saw me. “Who that?” she asked, sticking a finger in her mouth and staring at me with round blue eyes.
Cash looked at me. “That’s Cat.”
Emma’s eyes got bigger and she pulled her finger from her mouth with a wet plop. “She’s a cat?”
There were a few chuckles from the group. I grew red and looked at the onlookers just as a woman headed toward us.
She was gorgeous. Dark hair fell down her back. She was petite and had delicate, perfect features. Her eyes were dark brown. Her skin was porcelain white. She was breathtaking.
And she was very pregnant.
She walked to us gracefully – none of that duck walking that pregnant women tended to do. Stopping in front of Cash, she took Emma from him. “Okay, nosy. That’s enough questions,” she said. Even her voice was beautiful.
The little girl stuck her finger back in her mouth and eyed me with wonder as her mother took her from Cash and set her on her hip.
The woman stepped closer to Cash and wrapped her arm around his neck. “I missed you so much,” she whispered, pulling him to her for a hug. She stood on tiptoes, her big, protruding belly resting against him.
I knew who she was instantly.
Maddie.
Cash wrapped his arms around her and hugged her close.
“I missed you too. You okay?” His voice was thick. Intimate. Caring.
Maddie closed her eyes and nodded, ignoring her wiggling daughter on her hip. “Yes. I’m fine. Just worried about you. Are you okay? You look terrible.”
“Just a few bruises. I’ll be fine,” Cash said against her hair.
I felt like a voyeur, watching a private scene. I glanced over at Ryder. His face was set in stone as he watched Cash and Maddie. Reaching up, he pulled his ball cap further down on his head, half-listening to what the older man and woman next to him was saying. His gaze flicked to me – cold, hard, imposing. As jealous as me.
I studied him but Maddie let go of Cash and turned to face me.
“Hi, I’m Maddie,” she said, a dazzling smile on her face. She held out a delicate hand for me to shake. I wanted to hate her but I couldn’t. She seemed so nice and friendly.
I took her hand, shaking it. “I’m Cat.”
“She’s my wife, Maddie,” a smooth voice interjected beside me.
A tingle went up my spine. Maddie looked from me to Cash. She let go of my hand and raised an eyebrow.
“Wife?”
I glanced at Cash. He was staring at Maddie, his jaw set hard. “We’re married.”
Maddie glanced from me to him. “When did this happen?”
Before he could answer, Ryder walked up and interrupted. “It’s a long story. You can hear it later. I want you inside where it’s warm.” He took Emma from her arms, giving Cash a warning glare.
Maddie gave Ryder a smile but then glanced back at me. Her smile faltered. I saw uncertainty and distrust in her eyes but then she stepped toward me.
“I never expected Cash to come home married but welcome to the family, Cat.” She hugged me tight, her extended belly pressing into my body. “We’re happy you’re here.”
Despite my jealousy, I hugged her back. When she pulled away, I still saw apprehension in her eyes but she smiled warmly.
Ryder grasped her arm. “Inside now, before that baby decides to come right now.”
Maddie rolled her eyes but let him pull her away. She was a few steps from me when she glanced over her shoulder. “Really, Cat. I’m glad you’re here.”
She turned back around when Ryder pulled her close. I watched as he slid his hand around her hip and leaned down, kissing her head as he held Emma on his hip.
I felt that familiar pang of anguish – Ryder seemed to love Maddie so much. Turning my head, I found Cash staring at me. His eyes were intense, his body set in stone.
“You love her,” I said, wrapping my arms around my middle as a cold wind blew past me.
Cash nodded and looked over at Maddie as Ryder led her away. “Yeah, I do,” he said, his voice sounding like he was remembering something from long ago.
My chest felt tight, seeing the softness in his eyes for her. With shaking hands and tears in my eyes, I turned away.
“Cat.”
Cash reached for me. I moved out of the way, reaching for my backpack tied on behind the saddle. It was stupid really, feeling jealous or worried. I had survived a lot. I could survive watching him loving someone else.
He appeared in front of me, towering over me and blocking my view of everyone else.
“She’s my friend, Cat,” his voice rumbled, low and raspy beside me.
“I know,” I said, untying the knot that held my backpack with a jerk. I kept my eyes off Cash. I couldn’t look at him and see pity or guilt.
He grabbed my arm and spun me around to face him, glaring down at me. I let go of the backpack and stared up at him, suddenly angry and tired of what life always threw at me.
I yanked my arm out of his grasp and went back to untying my backpack. Disgusted. Mad. Furious. All at myself.
“You told her I was your wife,” I snapped. “There’s no need to pretend, Cash. They were just a few words said for Frankie’s benefit. It meant nothing.”
Cash stepped closer. “Nothing?”
I swung my backpack down and looked up at him. “Nothing.”
I started to push past him when an ear-splitting shriek rang through the air. Tate shouted. Cash flew into action, grabbing me and throwing me against the horse’s side. The wind was knocked out of me. He held me in place with a hand against my breastbone and yanked his shotgun out of the scabbard on the saddle and then let go of me to
swing it up to his shoulder.
I glanced around, terrified. And that’s when I saw Keely.
She was running toward us from around the corner of the house. Her blonde hair was bouncing on her shoulders and glasses sat on her nose. Gavin was behind her, a big grin on his face, and another blonde woman followed them with Brody by her side.
Keely ran across the uneven ground and threw herself at Cash. He caught her with a grunt, holding the gun in one hand.
“Cash,” she said in a broken whisper, her arms around his neck. “I missed you. So much. What. Happened?”
Her voice was fragmented. Awkward like she was learning a new language. But hearing her talk left me speechless. My mouth gaped open. Cash squeezed his eyes shut tight.
“Just a little trouble,” he answered, his voice thick. “I’m sure glad to see you, little sis.”
She smiled, her eyes misty. “You. Look. Like. Sh…Shit.”
Cash grinned and hugged her tighter.
“Keely, you’re talking,” I said in awe, taking a step closer.
She let go of Cash and looked at me, smiling. “Cat.”
I shot toward her and wrapped my arms around her tightly. Her wispy blonde hair tickled my nose and her skinny arms squeezed my neck until I thought I would choke.
“Now I can tell you. How much. You drove me crazy,” she said in a voice that could only be described as angelic. Soft, light – it fit her personality perfectly.
“I killed Paul, Keely,” I whispered, squeezing my eyes shut. “He tried again and I killed him.”
Keely hugged me tighter, smelling like sunshine and vanilla. “It’s okay. You’re alive.”
Something about hearing her say that filled me with peace. They couldn’t hurt us again. We were going to be okay.
She gave me another squeeze then stepped away. Gavin walked up behind her, grinning like a lovesick fool.
Cash glared at him, still holding the gun by his side. “Do we need to have another shotgun wedding, Gavin?”
Pain sliced through me.
Gavin looked at Keely, his gaze growing warm. “No. No, shotgun wedding. I’ve got this handled.”
Keely smiled wider then moved away to hug Tate and introduce herself to Adam and David.
Cash crossed his arms over his chest and widened his stance, staring at his friend. “I’ll kill you if you hurt my sister.”
Gavin smirked. “You’ll kill me? With what? You told me you traded your dad’s knife for food for Cat?”
I turned my head and gaped at Cash. He narrowed his eyes at Gavin.
Gavin’s grin disappeared. He ran a hand over his face and stepped forward. “Listen, man. You’re not just my friend. You’re my brother. I’m happy you’re home and alive.”
He held out his hand for Cash to shake.
Cash hesitated then shook it. “Yeah. Thanks for coming back for me.”
Gavin grinned. “Anytime. Just try not to get hung again.”
Cash smiled and let go of his hand. “I’ll try.”
Gavin snorted and turned to leave but I stopped him, stepping forward and touching his arm.
“What happened between you and Keely on the way home?” I asked.
He smirked, his bright blue eyes twinkling. “Maybe I’ll tell you one day, Kitty Cat.”
Chapter Forty–Two
Cat
I was introduced to everyone. There was Ryder and Gavin’s parents – Janice and Roger Delaney – and the pretty blonde, Eva. Janice immediately took me under her wing when she noticed me shivering and swaying on my feet.
“Let’s get you inside where it’s warm,” she said, leading me to the farmhouse.
I glanced back to see Cash. He was leading the horse to the barn and talking to Ryder with Tate following close behind. His eyes flicked to me. But a second later, he turned away, dismissing me.
“I’ll put you in the room where Cash stays,” Janice was saying as she led me up the porch steps.
I forced myself to pay attention but at the back of my mind it nagged at me that I may not be staying. Cash might be taking me home.
Inside, Janice ushered me into the room where Cash stayed. A single bed and a small chest of drawers took up most of the space.
I lowered my backpack to the floor as Janice went to the small closet. She started gathering clothes for me to change into, talking the whole time about Cash.
“We love him so much. He’s like a son to us. How long have you known him?” she asked, smiling and walking over to me, holding out a pair of jeans and a shirt.
I took them from her slowly. Her question had sounded very curious as if she didn’t trust me. “Um. I’ve known him a long time,” I answered.
She tilted her head to the side and studied me. “Maddie said you were married. When did that happen? Cash never mentioned you before?”
My cheeks grew red. I looked down at the shirt in my hands and fidgeted with a loose thread. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t talk about our fake marriage with this woman.
The walls started to close in on me. The welcoming strangers and warm house felt wrong, as if I had landed in an alternate universe where I didn’t belong.
I picked up my backpack and slung it on my shoulder, holding the clothes against my chest. “Do you have somewhere I can wash my face?”
She smiled, a little too forced. “Sure. Down the hall on your right. Cash rigged up a system for running water.”
I muttered a thank you before hurrying from the room. In the hallway, I walked fast, keeping my eyes downcast.
I was moving quickly past an open door when I heard a deep voice. I looked up and that’s when I saw them. In a room. Maddie and Cash.
They were standing close together. Cash had one hand on his hip and as I watched, he thrust the other through his hair with frustration.
I darted back against the wall as Maddie put her hand on his arm.
“What happened?” she asked in a worried voice.
I waited, eavesdropping. Listening closely.
“He forced me to marry her. Fuck, it was awful, Maddie,” Cash said in a rugged, hoarse voice.
Tears filled my eyes. A sob broke from me. I leaned my head back against the wall and slapped a hand over my mouth to stop it.
I didn’t hear what else they said until a second later.
“So what are you going to do?” I heard Maddie ask.
Cash sighed. “What can I do?”
Tears rolled down my cheeks. Anguish tore through me. I wanted to scream. Wail. It was just too much and I couldn’t handle it.
Maddie and Cash continued talking but I had heard enough. I pushed off the wall and ran down the hallway, swiping at the tears on my face.
Janice appeared, stepping out of Cash’s room. “Did I say something wrong?” she asked as I rushed by with my backpack and change of clothes.
I thrust the clothes at her. “No. Thank you for your hospitality.”
She took the clothes and gaped at me as I hurried away. I held onto the strap of my backpack and ran.
Tears blurred my vision but I knew the way out. I rounded the corner into the living room and slammed into the blonde, Eva.
“Whoa. What’s wrong?” she asked, turning as I sped past her.
I gave her a quick glance over my shoulder, ignoring the tears on my face. “Have you seen my brother?”
She frowned and took a step toward me. “You’re crying.”
“My brother? Have you seen him?” I asked, my tone biting. Impatient.
She nodded. “Yeah. I saw him go outside. Why?”
I didn’t answer her. Cash’s deep voice and Maddie’s gentle one came from down the hallway.
“Shit,” I whispered. “I’ve got to go.”
I rushed across the room, ignoring Eva’s attempt to stop me. I had to hurry. I didn’t want to face Cash, knowing how he felt.
‘Fuck, it was awful,’ he had said.
Remembering made the tears start up all over again. I felt like I was suffocating.
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I needed to find Tate and run. We could make it on our own. We didn’t belong in the fucked-up town that hated me. We didn’t belong here, two charity cases with no home. We belonged out there. Alone. Making it on our own. If I was pregnant, I would raise the baby and we would survive without Cash. It would be hard but I could do it. I already had to do so much since the EMP and war.
I opened the door and ran outside. Cold air entered my lungs and cooled my overheated skin.
Breathing hard, puffs of chilled air leaving me, I held onto the backpack strap and jogged down the porch stairs. The sun was still high in the sky but the temperature was dropping, keeping everyone inside. Leaving a warm house and friendly people was hard but I would survive. I always did. Tate and I would find our way to a new home.
I spotted my brother quickly. He was walking toward the house. No one was with him, thank goodness. The last thing I wanted was to have to listen to someone try to stop me.
Tate’s eyes widened when he saw me running toward him.
“What’s going on?” he asked as I grabbed the sleeve of his jacket.
I held onto him tight and dragged him along. “We’re leaving.”
My mother once said that I ruined everyone’s life. She was right. I had ruined Luke’s and Nathan’s.
But I wasn’t going to ruin Cash’s.
Chapter Forty–Three
Cat
I pulled Tate with me in the direction of the barn.
“Why are we leaving?” he asked, tripping over his feet to keep up with me.
“Because we don’t belong here,” I said, convincing myself to believe it.
Tate frowned down at me but I ignored him and took long strides, almost running. The faster we got out of there, the less likely someone would try to stop us from going.
At the barn, I unlatched the door and slid it open. The smell of cow manure and horses bombarded me. The livestock warmed the dusty barn to a toasty temperature. The hay on the floor insulated it against the cold. In one corner sat an old truck. Against the walls were horse stalls.
I rushed inside, dragging Tate with me. In the middle, I let him go and hurried over to the first stall.