A big, black horse nickered in greeting and stuck his soft nose out to smell me. He was a massive horse – the top of my head reached only his shoulder. But he seemed friendly and harmless. He would be perfect for a fast getaway.
Tate stood in place and watched me. “You’re not making any sense, sis. Why do we not belong here?”
“Because,” I said, dropping my backpack on the ground in front of the stall and unlatching the small door. “This is not our home.”
“But it could be,” Tate reasoned as I cautiously stepped inside by the stallion, hoping he wouldn’t stomp me.
“It’s not,” I said, running my hand over the horse’s nose.
Tate sighed. “Ryder says they have enough land for you and Cash to build a house. We could live in it. The three of us. If you want me to live with you two, that is.”
Agony clamped down on my chest. I couldn’t tell my brother that Cash and I weren’t going to be together. There would be no house. No three of us sharing a table at night. It would kill Tate to leave but I couldn’t stay, knowing how Cash felt.
I shoved the pain down deep and reached for some reins hanging nearby on the stall. “Do you think I’m the type to settle down, Tate? Wear an apron and make cookies?”
Tate shrugged. “Yeah. What’s wrong with that?”
I shook my head and scoffed. Tears welled in my eyes. Through the wet blur, I slipped the bridle on the horse. When he didn’t fight or rear up, I felt relief and left the stall to find a saddle.
Tate watched as I checked one enclosure then another. I kept my head ducked so he couldn’t see the wetness on my face. I cursed the tears for making me feel weak.
Just as I started to grow frantic and worried that we would have to ride bareback, I found an old saddle tucked away in a corner. I heaved it up and carried it back to the horse.
Tate frowned and nodded at the stallion. “So what? Now we’re horse thieves too?”
“Yes, if that’s what it takes.”
Tate let out a curse and kicked at the hay on the ground.
I ignored him and tried to lift the heavy saddle on the horse. It weighed a ton.
It took me three tries but I finally got it on. The stallion stomped its feet and shook his head, unhappy with the idea of a ride.
Tate blew his long hair out of his eyes and glared at me. “Fine. You win.”
He marched to a stall where a light-brown quarter horse stood quietly. Flipping the latch on the door, he glanced over at me.
“But just so you know, I don’t like the idea of leaving. They have food.”
Typical of him, thinking with his stomach.
I tightened the straps on the stallion and led him from the stall. His big hooves thumped on the barn floor and he yanked his head up at the tight hold I had on the reins. He seemed bigger outside his stall. Powerful and strong. I wasn’t sure if I could handle him but I was about to find out.
I tied him to the stall door and picked up my backpack. Lifting it up, I started tying it to the back of the saddle.
“Tell me again. Why should we leave?” Tate asked from the other stall. “I need it to soak in.”
I rolled my eyes and started to answer him but a cold voice came from behind me.
“Yeah, Cat. Tell me. Why should you leave?”
I froze, my fingers stopping on the rope. My mouth went dry. I stopped breathing.
I could feel him behind me. His heat. His anger. I turned, holding onto the horse for support and swallowing hard.
He was wearing a cowboy hat. I wondered briefly where he got it. He glared down at me, his gaze frigid.
His lean body was coiled with tensile strength. A few week’s worth of growth covered his jaw. Bruises still marked his cheekbones and around his eyes but now they were green instead of blue and black.
“I’m waiting,” he said in a voice that made me wince.
I became angry. He was mad at me! I wasn’t the one who said the marriage was awful. The one who didn’t know what to do.
I stuck my chin up and faced him, getting right in his space.
“I should leave because it was fucking awful and what can I do,” I spit sarcastically, repeating his exact words.
His face went white. He flinched like I had hit him.
Pain crushed my chest when he didn’t deny it. New tears popped in my eyes. I blinked past the moisture and stared up at him.
“I’ll tell you what you can do, cowboy. Let me leave.”
His nostrils flared. His lips thinned. He let out a growl and grabbed my upper arm. I yelped as he dragged me past my brother who was leading the quarter horse out of a stall.
“Get out of here, Tate,” Cash snarled, hauling me by the arm.
Tate looked at us with wide eyes. “Uh. Okay. Sure.”
“And leave the horse,” Cash whipped over his shoulder. “You’re not going anywhere.”
I looked up. He was pissed. A dangerous tick appeared in his jaw. His fingers were tight on my arm.
I jogged to keep up with him as he dragged me toward the old farm truck parked in the corner.
“Let. Me. Go,” I ordered through clenched teeth, trying to yank my arm away.
“Not on your life, sweetheart,” Cash growled, tugging me forward.
I gave my arm another good jerk just for the principal of it and glared up at him with anger. He paid no attention and hauled me to the passenger door of the truck.
Keeping a firm grasp on me, he wrenched the door open. “Get in,” he ordered in a cutting voice that slashed through me.
I jerked away from him. “No. I’m not going anywhere with you, jerkface.”
He growled and clasped my waist when I started to go around him.
Pinning me back against the truck, he put his hand behind me and leaned closer.
“Do I look like I’m kidding, Beauty Queen? Get in the fuckin’ truck or I’ll pick you up and put you there myself.”
Oh god.
With a glare, I pushed past him and plopped down on the seat. But I kept one foot on the ground just to be stubborn.
“Fine. I’m in. Do your worse,” I said, crossing my arms over my chest.
His gaze slid down my body. “Oh, I plan to. Get your leg too, princess.”
I pouted and pulled my foot inside the truck, huffing.
“Thank you,” he clipped out, slamming the passenger door closed.
It completely caught me off guard, him being so nice. It made the lump in my throat triple.
But I wouldn’t let him get to me. I wouldn’t be that girl anymore that couldn’t resist him.
I hand-cranked the window down as Cash stomped to the back of the truck. Resting my arm on the door, I leaned out and looked at him.
“What are we doing? I’ll get out of this truck right now if you think you can take me somewhere and change my mind. I’m leaving, cowboy, and you can’t stop me.” I grabbed the handle to open the door just to prove I meant it.
He glared at me over his shoulder. “Do it and I’ll find some reins and a private little corner of this barn, Cat.”
I clamped my mouth shut and stared at his jean-covered ass as he walked away. He stopped by the back of the barn and grabbed two handles near a seam in the wall. Giving them a yank, he slid the doors open wide enough for a tractor to drive through. Bright sunlight spilled in along with a brisk cold air.
Pushing the door all the way open, Cash then went over to the driver’s side of the truck. It rocked on its axles as he got in and slammed the door.
The vehicle had seen better days. Springs poked out of the pickup’s seat and the windshield had a crack that ran from one corner to another. Papers and an old blanket were stuffed on the floor. An old stereo had an ancient cassette tape sticking out.
Cash popped the visor down. A pair of keys fell into his lap. He grabbed them and put the key in the ignition. The truck roared to life.
He gave it the gas a few times then put it into reverse. Resting his arm on the back of the seat, he tw
isted his upper body around to look out the back window.
His thumb grazed my shoulder bone. Volts of electricity went through me. His gaze shot to mine, heated. Piercing.
Shit.
His eyes moved to his fingers, his other hand gripping the steering wheel tightly. I didn’t move. Couldn’t think. All I knew was that he said it was fucking awful, marrying me.
But then there was this. The unexpected wave of desire that always consumed us when we were close. I could hear Cash breathing, almost sense the tension rolling off his body. There was something about sitting in a truck with him that brought back memories.
Our first date.
Me in his lap, whispering for him to touch me.
I drew in a ragged breath. His eyes moved down to my parted lips then slid away. A shadow passed over his features. His thumb moved off me. Looking out the rear window, he backed the truck out of the barn as if the moment hadn’t happened. As if the desire between us didn’t exist.
I folded my hands in my lap and took a deep, cleansing breath. “Are you going to tell me where we’re going or do I have to guess?”
Cash didn’t answer. Instead, he backed the truck out then put it in drive. He turned the wheel and floored the gas. The pickup shot forward, bouncing over rabbit holes and mounds of gopher dirt.
I grabbed the door handle, hanging on for dear life.
“Put on your seatbelt,” Cash muttered, staring out the cracked windshield.
I looked at him and scoffed. “Really? We’re out in the middle of nowhere. No one has a car but you.”
His hand clenched around the steering wheel harder until his knuckles turned white. He looked at me and raised one eyebrow.
Message received.
I sighed and pulled the seatbelt across my lap but it wouldn’t click into place. I tried again just as the truck hit a large hole. I bounced up. My side hit the door.
“Shit.” Cash slammed on the brake and threw the truck into park. Reaching across the seat, he grabbed the seatbelt out of my hand and snapped it into place. His gaze ran over me quickly, making sure I was alright.
“Thank you,” I whispered, hating that my heart was racing and his nearness could make me sweat.
He let out a humph and sat up. His fingers brushed my leg as he slid his hand away.
I narrowed my eyes at him and muttered under my breath, “But I’m still leaving.”
He let out a sound of aggravation and faced forward again. Slamming the truck into drive, he stomped on the gas.
We flew past the house and out to the road – or what used to be a road. The truck’s engine roared loudly and the body vibrated so roughly, I thought every screw and hinge would fall out of it.
We sailed at a neck-breaking speed. The land blurred on either side of us and the sun glinted off the windshield.
We drove for a while. The roads were more like abandoned trails. Large tree branches reached across them and it was slow going for a while. A few times Cash had to slow down to go around a downed limb or an abandoned car. The emptiness of the land made me feel like we were the only two people left on earth. But I started to get nervous. Where’s he taking me?
I was about to ask him when he slowed the truck down and turned onto a narrow path leading back into some thick woods.
Branches grabbed at the pickup, screeching like nails on a chalkboard as they slid by. A sign lying on its side caught my attention as we drove past it. Turner’s Lake.
The place Cash and I had gone on our first date.
My pulse started racing. My palms grew sweaty. I glanced over at Cash, wondering what he was planning.
His jaw was clamped hard and his gaze was set straight ahead. He didn’t speak or look at me as he maneuvered the truck through the dense woods.
Foliage darkened the truck’s interior as it blocked the sun from reaching us. Just when I thought we would drive forever, the trees opened up to a clearing.
The same spot where we had made love.
My mouth went dry. My hands trembled. Cash threw the truck into park and turned off the engine. Without a word, he opened up his door and got out.
I tried to get my seatbelt unhooked as he made his way around the truck. The damn thing was stuck again.
When I realized Cash was heading straight toward me, I tried faster, my fingers numb and useless. Oh, Jesus, I couldn’t take him touching me.
Before I could get free, Cash swung open the door. I glanced up at him, still working on the seatbelt frantically.
He reached across me to unhook it. His arm brushed my stomach, his face inches from mine. He smelled masculine. Earthy. Delectable.
Perfect.
I let my eyes run over every line, every cut, every healing bruise on his face. I wanted to run my fingertips over the short stubble on his chin. Smooth out the grimness around his mouth.
He unclipped my seatbelt and let it slide across my lap and back into place. I held my breath, thinking he would move away, but he stayed close, leaning over me in the truck. I could see the pulse in his neck, steady and strong. His eyes were dark and turbulent like a dangerous storm approaching.
He slid his hand down my leg to my knee, grasping it with firm fingers.
“You’re my wife, Cat. I fucking love you. Yeah, I told Maddie I was forced to marry you. And yes, I said it was awful. But I was talking about the thought of dying and leaving you. Christ, Cat, it was torture.”
I couldn’t form words. Blood pounded in my ears. I wanted to believe him – I really did – but there was a part of me that was scared.
I jerked my head up and narrowed my eyes at him. “You wanted me to stop loving you since I got shot. You told me to be with Adam. And now we’re married?” I shook my head. “Let’s just be honest. There was never a happily-ever-after in our future. That joke of a wedding ceremony were only words. Don’t try to sugarcoat it and tell me they weren’t. They meant nothing. Stop pretending they did. You are off the hook.”
“There’s that word again. Nothing,” he ground out with a tightly clenched jaw, gripping my knee tightly. “You really believe that?”
I stuck up my chin. “Yes.”
He growled and shoved my legs apart. His hand whipped out and grabbed the back of my neck. Heat swirled in his eyes. Possession consumed them. Fierceness made his muscles tense.
“It was real, sweetheart,” he swore vehemently inches from my mouth. “Every single damn word. Love. Honor. Cherish. Protect. I said them all and I meant it. You’re my wife and you’re right where you’re supposed to be. With me. I wouldn’t change that. Fuck, do you want me to say them again? I, Cash Marshall, take you, Catarina Phillips, to be my wife. To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse. Until death do us—”
I pulled him down. His mouth captured mine. The kiss was brutal. Punishing. I should have been afraid – memories of Paul hovered close – but I wasn’t. I was lost in Cash and him in me.
It was just like years earlier. I had sat in his truck and he had stood between my legs. We had been different then. I had been wild. He had been sweet. But the desire was the same. Heady and intense. It never changed.
I gripped his jacket and pulled him closer. He groaned and sank against my crotch. I kissed the corner of his mouth gently. “I, Catarina Phillips, take you, Cash Marshall, to be my husband. To have and to hold—”
His mouth covered mine, cutting off the rest of my words. He slid his hand from the back of my neck to my cheek. His body pressed into mine. I moaned and threaded my fingers into his hair, tasting his lips and tongue.
Too soon, he slid his mouth from mine and grabbed my hand. “Come here. I want to show you something.”
He tugged me out of the truck and closed the door behind me. Holding my hand, he led me to the edge of the lake and the very same spot where he had laid me down on our first date.
The water sparkled under the sunlight. Little ripples danced across it when the wind picked up. If I closed my eyes, I could still hear the party
across the water and the rustle of my clothes as Cash pushed them out of the way.
“I come out here sometimes,” he said, staring across the crystal water. His profile was turned, his rough stubble dark on his face. “I pictured you here, lying on that blanket. So many times I wondered where you were. If you were okay. If I would ever see you again.”
He turned to face me. His thumb caressed the soft pad between my thumb and forefinger. “I thought I was crazy, asking you out. You were so far out of my league. I had no money. No future except for farming. And I had no chance at giving someone like you the lifestyle you deserved. But when I laid you down on that blanket, everything that should have kept us apart didn’t matter. I wanted to strip away all that pain I saw in your eyes and give you the world.”
My throat got thick. “That was a long time ago,” I whispered.
“But nothing has changed. I still want to give you the world. Forever.”
He opened his mouth then hesitated and shut it. Rubbing a hand across his jaw, he gazed out across the water, looking unsure.
I stepped closer. “What is it?”
He swung his gaze back to me. “I’ve got something for you. A wedding present.”
I drew my brows together, confused. His mouth turned up in a lopsided grin. God, that could leave me weak every time.
Letting go of my hand, he turned and went back to the truck, leaving me standing near the edge of the water.
I watched him, reminded of another time, when he left me on the blanket to go back to his truck for a condom. We thought the world would go on as it always had. That nothing would change. Now here we were, stripped of everything but each other.
I stared at him, wondering what he was doing. He went to the driver’s side and opened the door. Reaching in, he disappeared for a second, only the very top of his head visible.
I waited, little breaths of cold air leaving my mouth. Suddenly, music blared from the truck. I gasped. I hadn’t heard a song in years except for once when Tate, Keely, and I heard the national anthem played over a shortwave radio. This one was an old country western song. Something slow and romantic.
Cash stood upright and strolled back, his gaze pinning me in place. Stopping in front of me, he held out his hand.