Ryder sucked in a breath, his hands growing still as they held my shirt. Opening my eyes, I watched, shocked as his hands started shaking. He swallowed hard once. Then twice. I could almost feel the tension rolling off of him.
Suddenly, he dropped to his knees in front of me.
Time stopped. My breath caught and my heart fluttered.
Candlelight flickered over his face as his eyes ran over my abdomen. Slowly, as if he was afraid to touch me, he laid a hand against my stomach. His fingers spanned me, covering my abdomen completely.
I melted. There was no other word for it. My best friend was on his knees in front of me, his hand over his baby. Our baby.
“Maddie?” he said, his voice hoarse as he glanced up into my eyes.
“I’m four months pregnant.”
He opened his mouth but no words came out. I saw him swallow again, his strong throat working to get any sound out.
“A baby. We’re going to have a baby,” he said in awe, his gaze dropping down to my abdomen.
“I was going to tell you when you returned home but then you didn’t come back and when you did you were wounded. And then with the news about your birth mom…”
“How do you feel?” Ryder asked, cutting off my rambling. His hand moved lower, beneath my belly button. “If something happens to you--”
“Stop,” I said, putting my hand over his. “I’m okay.”
“You’re too tiny. Hell, what if you can’t…” Ryder climbed to his feet, his body brushing against mine. “Damn, I can’t think about it. I don’t want to because it scares the shit out of me.”
“I’m scared too,” I admitted.
His eyes burned into mine, seeing everything, wanting everything.
“I won’t let anything happen to you, Maddie,” he whispered. “If I have to fight every damn person in this country to get you to a hospital, I will. Nothing will take you away from me.” Without waiting another second, he lowered his head.
I let out a moan when his mouth touched mine. This is what I needed. Like a drink of cool water, he quenched me, giving me what I wanted.
Stepping closer, his lips took control, his body holding mine against the edge of the bed. I wrapped my hands around his neck, tangling my fingers in his wet hair and pulling him to me. Tilting his head, he deepened the kiss, becoming more urgent. His tongue lashed out, touching my lower lip before plunging into my mouth.
I moaned, grabbing his shirt and holding on for dear life.
“You taste wonderful,” he said around my mouth. He captured my bottom lip between his teeth then let it go, gliding his lips to my jawline. Reaching beneath my shirt, his hands brushed across my ribcage.
“Each inch of your skin is mine, Maddie. To taste. To lick.” The tip of his tongue touched the soft, sensitive skin of my neck, sending a shiver through me. “To have.”
“Then take me,” I said, threading my hands through his wet hair, feeling the strands catch on my fingertips.
Tugging at my unbuttoned shirt, he pulled it off. His mouth went to the exposed skin of my shoulder, touching the area with his lips.
“God, Maddie, I want you,” he said, his breath brushing across my skin.
“Maybe we shouldn’t do this. You’re hurt,” I said, forcing the words out, wishing I didn’t have to say them.
“I’ll survive. Hell, I’ll pull these stitches out myself if it means I can be deep inside you,” he said. His hand went to the top of my jeans, unzipping them and pushing them out of the way in one movement.
The tips of his fingers lingered on the top of my panties, leaving heat behind. “This is sexy as hell,” he said in a deep voice. “You wearing only my flannel shirt and this little bit of lace. So fucking sexy.”
“Hmmm,” I mumbled, lost in the sensation of his fingers teasing me.
His lips moved up to kiss the skin below my ear. “But they’re in my way. That’s a problem,” he whispered, pushing my panties down my legs achingly slow.
I gasped, grabbing his shoulders, when his hand went to my bottom. His fingers squeezed, his invisible fingerprints forever burned into me. Marking me as his.
Grabbing the back of his neck, I brought his mouth to mine. Parting my lips, I slipped my tongue out to sweep across his lower lip.
“Do that again and I’ll explode,” he growled.
So I did it again.
With a groan, his mouth opened, taking my tongue inside. Threading his fingers in my hair, he held me tight, doing what he wanted to me.
“My turn to drive you insane,” he said. His fingers went between my legs, searching for…Oh yes! I gasped. His fingers were…oh shit, they were magical.
He plunged one finger into me, then two. His hand made a fist in my hair, keeping me still when I started to wiggle and squirm. I needed…I wanted…ohmigod.
I couldn’t think straight. When his fingers pulled out to stroke me, I shattered. My world exploded. Bright lights appeared behind my closed eyelids.
His lips covered my cries but his fingers didn’t stop. They slid back into me, going deeper.
“Ryder,” I gasped, pulling my mouth away from his, needing him to stop, hoping he didn’t.
Using the fist wrapped in my hair, he yanked my mouth back to his.
“You’re so tight and wet,” he said, his mouth moving down along my jawline.
I wanted to respond but I couldn’t. I was nothing but a tangled web of nerve endings, pulsating everywhere. Desperate to be touched, aching to be satisfied.
“Take off your bra,” he demanded, his teeth nipping at my neck.
I did. Quickly.
His head lowered, his breath hot against my skin as he traveled down my body. With the fingers of one hand inside me, his other hand clasped my breast, squeezing as his mouth closed around my entire nipple.
Grasping his hair, I held on as his tongue flicked over my nipple, sending electricity through me. I cried out when his teeth nipped at me; gentle one moment, rough the next. He licked and sucked as his fingers slid in and out of me. Only his hands and the bed behind me kept me standing.
Just when I thought I would shatter, his mouth and fingers left my body. Weaving his fingers through my hair, his mouth captured mine again.
“I’m trying to control myself but I can’t. You drive me crazy, Maddie. So damn crazy,” he said against my lips.
“Show me.”
He moaned at my words and took my mouth again. His lips became demanding, frantic to possess me. His hand moved down to grab my bare bottom, his fingers biting into my skin.
“Bed. Now,” he demanded.
I didn’t hesitate. In seconds, I was kneeling in the middle of the bed, watching him crawl toward me. His eyes burned, running over my body with raw hunger.
His hands went to my hair, gentle this time. No fists in my hair, holding me tight. Instead, he touched the ends lying against my chest. His palm brushed over my breast as he fingered the straight ends of my hair. I shivered and reached out for the buttons on his shirt, needing to feel him.
He continued to touch me everywhere, like he was trying to memorize every inch of me. But when he touched my throat, a frown crossed his face, turning his lips down as if he was trying to remember something.
Afraid his memories would ruin the moment, I quickly worked at the buttons of his shirt, frantic to get them undone. When the last one was released, I pushed the material out of the way.
He removed his shirt as his eyes dropped to my breasts. Candlelight cast a soft glow over his body, highlighting the muscles that were still there. Yellowish bruises still marked his upper torso, ruining the perfect tone of his skin.
With my hand, I followed the cut and curve of each muscle in his chest. His skin felt smooth. Lickable. Leaning over, I touched my lips to his pec. He moaned and grasped my hips, his fingers digging into me.
My tongue touched his hot skin as I slipped my hand around to his back. The tips of my fingers brushed across the whip marks and cuts.
When h
is hand snapped out, grabbing my wrist, I yelped. Not with pain but with surprise. I had been so wrapped up in the feel of his skin that I hadn’t been paying attention to the sudden tautness of his body.
His fingers wrapped around the thin bones of my wrists. His eyes were clear, void of the raging fever that had haunted him for days or the delusion that bothered him at night. Iciness stared back at me. Capable of making most grown men cringe but not me.
“Ryder?” I whispered, needing him to come back to me. The man that wasn’t cold and hard.
Squeezing his eyes shut, he ground his teeth together, struggling with something that I couldn’t see. His fingers loosened on my wrist but he didn’t let me go. His eyes opened, all the coldness gone. I watched as his eyes dropped down to my naked breasts again, hunger in his gaze.
“Ryder, I don’t think we should…”
Without warning, he yanked me toward him, cutting off my sentence. The hard muscles of his chest pressed into my breasts, making my nipples harder.
His mouth took mine again, making me forget everything. His tongue slipped inside my mouth as he lowered the zipper of his jeans.
Breaking away from me, he pulled his jeans off and tossed them to the floor. With impatience, he reached for me, drawing me into his lap.
Wrapping my legs around his waist, I straddled him. My arms went around his neck as he readjusted himself under me, nudging me with his length. I moaned, the friction sending shock waves through my body.
Cupping one breast, he leaned over to take it in his mouth. I gasped, holding onto his neck tightly as he tugged at my nipple with his teeth. Hardness pushed between my legs. Teasing me. Begging to be where I wanted him to be.
I was panting by the time his mouth left my breast. I tried pulling his lips back to my nipple but he resisted.
“On your knees,” he commanded, his hands around my ribcage.
I obeyed, rising to my knees on either side of him. That put my breasts right in line with his mouth. Clever man.
His hands held me captive as his eyes dropped to my stomach. “I don’t want to hurt you,” he said in a raspy voice full of worry.
“You won’t.”
That was all he needed to hear.
His mouth swooped in, hungry to taste me again. A small cry escaped me when his tongue slashed across my nipple again and again. At the same time, his erection nudged me, seeking entry. Keeping his hands planted on my ribcage, he lowered me, inch by inch. Filling me, stretching me beyond my limit. I shuddered, lifting up only to sink further down on him.
“Christ, Maddie,” he rasped, his fingers biting into my skin. “You feel so fuckin’ good.”
His hands went to my hair, grabbing fistfuls of it and leaving it one jumbled mess. Leaning over, his teeth nipped at my neck as he slid deeper into me.
My pulse leaped as he pulled out, leaving only a fraction of himself inside of me. I tried to ease back down but he held my hips, taking control.
As he slid back into me his voice vibrated against my neck, “I’ll try to go slow but…hell, I may not be able to.”
“Just don’t stop,” I said, forcing the words out as he moved deeper inside of me, sending vibrations rocking through my body. As soon as he was buried to the hilt, I rose up then slowly lowered myself back down on him.
He hissed, the breath hitting my skin, leaving heat and moisture behind. His fingers dug into me as his hips surged up to meet mine.
I whimpered as he flicked one of my nipples. Pulling out, he plunged into me again. I bit my lip, almost bringing blood, when he slid out then drove back into me.
From somewhere deep inside, something started building. Something intense. Something that could set my skin on fire, turning it to flames.
“Ryyyyder,” I said, arching my back as I met his thrust again and again.
“Talk to me, baby,” his deep voice rumbled, his mouth moving to my ear.
“Please,” I whimpered, needing more but afraid I wouldn’t survive it.
“This is what I wanted. To feel you around me.” He slid out slowly then plunged back into me. “To hear you beg. To watch you come apart as I filled you. Again and again.”
I gasped as he bit my earlobe and thrust into me harder.
“I want to hear you shout. I want to hear you scream my name. Wake the fucking house up, Maddie.”
I lost it. As his thumb tweaked my nipple and he slid deep inside of me, I lost all control. Arching my back, I granted his wish. I cried out, not caring who I woke up.
Ryder grabbed my head, yanking my lips to his. Swallowing my cries, he continued taking my body, plunging in and out of me with frenzy. Moving faster, his stomach muscles clenched as his hips jerked into mine. His fingers tightened in my hair, holding me steady as he increased the speed of his hips. With each demanding thrust, I let out a gasp.
“Again,” he insisted, reaching between us to touch me as I moved up and down on him.
I cried out, needing no encouragement.
He pumped into me. Harder. Faster. Squeezing his eyes shut, he dug his fingers into my hips, slamming me back down on him. I cried out as he exploded in me.
Burying his face in my neck, he stilled, pulsating deep inside me. A shudder ran over his body, traveling to mine. Breathing hard, his chest rose and fell. I could feel his rapid heartbeat. It matched the tempo of mine.
His lips returned to mine, kissing me first with urgency then with gentleness.
“God, Maddie, I’ve never…” He cleared his throat and tried again. “Shit, I can’t think around you.” He touched my lower lip with the pad of his thumb. “You okay?”
I smiled. He was the one with a bullet hole in his side and he was worried about me? Typical Ryder.
“I’m okay. Are you?” I asked, my fingers brushing the top of his bandage.
He sucked in a breath. “I’m more than okay. I’m home, inside of you where I belong.”
I blushed, suddenly feeling shy.
“Hell, Maddie, stop blushing or I might take you again.”
“Promise?” I asked, leaning over to touch my lips to his smooth jaw.
His fingers tightened in my hair, yanking my mouth back to his.
“I’ll promise anything if I can stay buried in you,” he whispered, his lips brushing across mine.
I moaned as he licked the corner of my mouth, sending a shiver over me.
“You’re cold,” he said, running an arm over the goose bumps on my arm. Withdrawing from me, he reached for my shirt, thrown at the end of the bed. He held it as I stuffed my arms through the holes, wrapping myself in the soft cotton that smelled like him.
He watched me, never taking his eyes off of my body. I started buttoning the shirt, glancing up to find his gaze on my stomach. Within seconds he was next to me again, pulling me into his lap in the middle of the bed.
His hand went to my abdomen, the soft flannel the only thing between us. His fingers spread wide, covering me completely. I saw him swallow hard as the candlelight flickered over him.
“God, a baby,” he said, his voice hushed in the silence of the room. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Just tell me that you love me.”
“I love you, Maddie, and I sure as hell know how to show it,” he said, grabbing the back of my head and bringing my lips to his.
And he did. Without pretty words and long confessions of love, he showed me how much he loved me.
~~~~
A few hours later, I lay awake, unable to sleep. My daddy always teased me that when I had something on my mind, I never let it go. Guess that was what was wrong with me now.
“You awake?” I whispered, watching as Ryder’s chest moved up and down slowly.
“Yeah,” he said, keeping his eyes closed.
I fidgeted with the edge of the sheet. “About the baby…”
There was just enough moonlight in the room for me to see him open his eyes and look over at me, waiting for me to go on.
I took a deep breath. Exhaling, I
let the words rush out that I had been holding onto for so long. “You really okay with this? I mean being a dad? I know this baby is a surprise and after everything else you’ve been through…”
Ryder was suddenly leaning over me, one of his hands on either side of my body. I sucked in a breath, seeing his lips so close to mine, remembering what they could do to me. One of his hands moved under the covers, running down my side. My heart quickened, feeling his fingers on me. They ran under my shirt, finding the small curve of my stomach.
“Maddie, listen to me. I’m not perfect, I’ve done some shitty things in my lifetime, but I’ll be the best damn father I can be,” he said, his hand brushing against my skin.
“My real mom may not have wanted me but I’m glad she gave me up. Otherwise, I may not have met you when I was that little boy, needing a friend.” He glanced down, watching his hand move beneath the covers. “I’ve always said that Fate is a nasty bitch but this time she did something right. She gave me you and this baby. I owe her big time.”
I smiled, happy. Surprised to hear Ryder Delaney sound so…sweet. I just wished the feeling could have lasted longer.
Chapter Eighteen
Thunder boomed outside, waking me. The chill in the room made me shiver and curl further under the covers. I pulled the cotton sheet over my head, falling back to sleep.
Thump. The noise woke me, making me open my eyes. I listened. Thump. This time it wasn’t thunder. It was something in the room making the sound. Ryder moved beside me in bed, tossing the covers back. I turned over, wondering where he was going in the middle of the night.
He was sitting on the edge of the bed, his back to me. I could see the healing marks of the whip, some of them red, others swollen. I heard something low, almost a whisper.
“Fucking assholes.”
“Ryder?” I sat up quickly. My eyes tried to adjust in the darkness. Was someone else in the room with us? Someone I couldn’t see? I expected to see an attacker, someone coming at us with a knife, but there was no one.
Something wasn’t right. Ryder’s shoulders were rigid, tight. The muscles in his arms flexed as he clenched his fists.
“Ryder, what’s wrong?” I asked, frightened.