He growled and thrust deep. I felt a rush of warmth before he grabbed himself and pulled out. His cock pulsated against me, spurting his seed on my vagina. He rubbed his essence on me then thrust back inside, going as deep as he could go. Lowering his head, he kissed me.
I knew at that moment that things had changed.
He might be pretending.
But I was in love.
Chapter Forty
Cat
I had known anguish. I had lived it. Breathed it. Walked down its dark path and let it consume me. It had made me make a deal with the devil when Luke died. I wouldn’t love and he wouldn’t take someone from me. But I had broken that promise. I loved Cash. Now the devil might take him from me.
Keely and I walked down the sidewalk, checking out the town. Leaves blew in our path and crunched under the little flat shoes Sarah had found for me. It was cold. I gathered my ratty jacket closer around my shoulders, snuggling in it deeper. The sun was out, shining brightly, but the warmth was only an illusion.
Tate lingered behind us, kicking brown leaves out of his way. He wasn’t happy to be tagging along with Keely and me. He wanted to go with Cash and Gavin. They were trying to trade for supplies out near one of the outposts in town. Word was that the leader was back and had lots of new goods. Cash wanted whatever he could get before trouble came looking for us. Something was telling us it would and we needed to get out of town quickly.
Despite the danger that loomed over us, I was feeling on cloud nine. Last night was an awakening for me. I loved Cash. I might have from the start. Don’t get me wrong. I didn’t believe in love at first sight. It was a stupid, made up idea romantics came up with to explain lust without guilt. But I never had guilt. I had been with men and not felt one thing.
Not until Cash.
It only took the end of the world to show me that I was worthy of love. It took me changing and him finding me again to do it.
I was so afraid before. So determined to keep my distance from everyone. From feeling anything. I was afraid to fall. Afraid I wouldn’t be able to get back up again. But I couldn’t deny it any longer.
I loved Cash.
My heart thumped hard. Little breaths of frost escaped between my lips.
Yes. I love him.
Excited shouts came from down the street, interrupting my happiness. Men and women suddenly rushed by. A large crowd was gathering in the middle of the street. They were clean, happy, and seemed oblivious to what was going on outside the metal walls. In just the short amount of time we had been here we realized life was different in Hilltop. There was no grief. No hunger. No deadly diseases that had killed hundreds. It was as if we had walked into a different time and era. A different world.
But this utopia felt wrong in some way. We couldn’t put our finger on it. Cash was on edge and Gavin was itching to leave. Something was about to happen. We had learned to listen to our gut feelings and right now they were screaming loud and clear.
Go.
“What do you think is going on?” Tate asked, watching as people ran by with excitement, yelling with joy.
“I don’t know,” I said, feeling my skin prickle in warning.
Keely grasped my arm and pointed to the growing crowd. A large group of men were walking down the middle of the street. They looked ragged and tired. Most wore a hodgepodge assortment of clothes, most smudged with dirt and grime. Each had a gun, some with more than one. The townspeople greeted them as if they were heroes. Men smacked them on the back with warm, excited welcomes. Women hugged a few with tears in their eyes. Children danced around their legs as they walked down the street, talking rapidly.
These people seemed happy to see the men. So why did I feel a chill run down my spine?
As the crowd came closer, Keely’s hand on me tightened. She let out a high-pitched mewing cry.
I gaped at her. She hadn’t spoken or made any sort of noise in ages. I swung back to look at the crowd, wondering what the hell had frightened her so bad. I didn’t see anything, just a bunch of military-looking men being welcomed home with excitement.
Keely started backing away, dragging me along with her and squeezing my arm so much it hurt. Her colorless lips moved wordlessly. She was pale, shaking. Scaring the shit out of me.
“What’s wrong?” Tate asked, following as Keely tugged me back along the sidewalk.
“I don’t know,” I whispered. She was freaking me out.
Little whimpering sounds escaped her. She drew in a sob and tears filled her eyes. My shoes scraped along the leaves and cement, creating a soft sound, as I hurried to follow her. When I felt eyes on me, I looked over my shoulder at the crowd again.
That’s when I recognized him. Frankie. The man who had appeared in the alleyway in Austin. The leader who Paul and Hightower answered to years ago. Time had been easy on him. He was older but more distinguished looking. He was heavier than he had been but power still radiated from him as he walked down the street. I knew suddenly who Hilltop’s leader was – a man that led rapists and murderers.
By this time Keely was frantic, her nails burying in my arm through my coat. She pulled me faster, glancing over her shoulder every few seconds. Tate jogged to keep up with us, looking confused on what the hell was happening but following us anyway.
The crowd was heading toward the town square, right across the street from the hotel. Frankie and his men walked with authority. Power. They owned this town. I could almost see it in the way people looked at them with worship, brainwashed by some sick fucks.
We hurried down the sidewalk, trying to outrun them. I couldn’t stop staring at the group of men. They looked like soldiers returning home from war. Violence was in their eyes and malice seemed to bleed from them. Frankie was in front, walking with purpose and ignoring the exclamations of the townspeople as they welcomed him home. His eyes stayed straight ahead and his finger stayed near the trigger of his gun.
I watched as he spoke to someone beside him. The man listened then ran off, breaking away from the group. Another man appeared by Frankie’s side.
A man that haunted my dreams and terrified my thoughts. A man I should have killed long ago.
Paul.
I slammed to a stop, dragging Keely with me. I started trembling, not from the cold but from terror. Pure, bloodcurdling terror. This is the man who had killed Nathan. That had taken my brother from me. The man that had almost had me. That almost took what I didn’t want anyone to have but Cash. I knew what he was capable of and what he would do if he saw me.
Behind Paul was Hightower, walking along and cleaning his fingers with a long-bladed knife. From his pocket hung a line of…chunks of hair.
Bile rose in my throat. I felt sick to my stomach. Keely started shaking her head frantically, backing away. I grabbed her.
“They’ll see us if we run,” I said, keeping my head turned away so they wouldn’t see my face.
Tate glanced at the men. “It doesn’t matter. I’m going to kill them this time!” he roared, realizing who it was.
I reached out with my other hand and snatched a hold of his jacket before he could dash across the street and do something stupid.
He tried to yank away but I held on tight. I couldn’t let my other brother die. Not for me. Not for Keely. Not for anyone. I held both him and Keely. One from fighting, the other from escaping.
“Tate, go get Cash and Gavin,” I instructed with a stern voice despite the terror I felt. The world had just dropped away. My nightmare was here.
Tate glared down at me and opened his mouth to argue but I stopped him.
“Go now!” I ordered.
He nodded and shot off, heading toward where Cash and Gavin were supposed to be.
I looked back at Keely. She was crying and drawing in on herself. I could see it. She was shutting down even more. I wouldn’t allow it to happen again.
“Come on.” I grabbed her arm and pulled her along, walking at a brisk but nonthreatening pace. We had to appear like we were
just minding our own business.
We made it to the hotel without being seen. Mary was walking out of the kitchen as we bust in, wiping her hands on a faded towel.
“Hello, girls! Are you hungry?” she asked in her over-the-top friendly voice.
“No,” I snapped, pushing past her and dragging Keely with me.
Mary looked at me open-mouthed. “What’s wrong, darlings?” she called out as we rushed up the stairs.
I didn’t bother answering. We had better things to do. Like get out of this freaky, fucked up town.
Keely and I ran to the second floor and down the hallway. I went straight to the bedroom Cash and I had shared last night. I hit the door with the palm of my hand, slamming it open. Letting go of Keely, I kicked the door closed behind us and rushed over to the rumbled bed. I gave the wrinkled sheets that I had clasped in passion just a quick glance then dropped down to my knees and shoved the bed skirt up. Two rifles stared back at me, lying innocently under the bed where Cash had hidden them.
I grabbed both and stood up, letting the bed skirt fall back. Keely watched me, sobbing quietly, as I checked both barrels to make sure they were loaded. They were. Setting them on the bed, I rushed over to the small wooden chair where Sarah had neatly folded my washed clothes.
It was time to return to the real me.
With my back to Keely, I unbuttoned the jacket and let it fall to the floor. A cold draft ran over me. The lightweight dress I wore was no match for the chilling temperature. I lifted it over my head and let it drift down to the floor in a silky puddle at my feet. Giving it no more thought, I picked up my jeans and pulled them on with jerky motions.
This was me. Jeans, a white shirt, and black boots. I wasn’t hiding behind dresses and cute little shoes anymore.
I sat down and shoved my feet into my boots, glancing up at Keely. “Go change,” I said in a stern voice, hoping to break through her fear.
She looked at me with tear-filled eyes but her mind was still down on that street, seeing the man that hurt her. I understood. I was barely holding it together myself, but we had to keep our heads on straight.
I laced up my boots and shot to my feet. I headed to her in two quick strides.
“We’ve got to leave, Keely. Go!” I said, grabbing both of her arms and giving her a hard shove toward the door.
My words finally got through to her. Or maybe it was my fingers biting into her skin. Whichever it was, she flung open the door and ran from the room.
I turned and went back to the chair. My jaw was set but my heart was pounding and my hands were shaking.
If Paul and Hightower saw us, what they would do wouldn’t be pretty. Cash, Gavin, and Tate would be right there too, putting themselves in danger for Keely and me. I didn’t want that on me. Never again. No one was going to die or get injured because they cared about me. That’s why we had to leave.
I put on my jacket and started buttoning it up with shaky, cold fingers. We could do this. We could get out of this town alive, in one piece. All we have to do is keep our wits about us and sneak out without being seen.
Panic filled me as I pushed the last button through the hole. What about Cash? What will he do when he found out who was here?
I broke out in a cold sweat. Tears flooded my eyes. I had taken so much from men. Money. Sex. Attention. I had used them, thinking they would all save me from myself. But now I wanted to save the one man that I wanted to give everything to.
“Cat.”
I turned around.
Cash was standing in the doorway. His eyes were hard under his cowboy hat. The crystal gray of his irises was smoky and penetrating as they looked at me. His body was tense, ready to fight and kill. His fingers were relaxed at his sides, long and powerful against his jeans. Capable of hurting. Skilled at eliciting need and desire.
He sauntered into the room, heading straight for me. A few tears escaped past my lashes and dropped down my cheeks. I brushed them away, angry that I was crying at a time like this. I needed to be strong. Be ready to run.
Cash stopped right in front of me.
“Is it them?” he asked bluntly.
I didn’t answer but the tears must have betrayed me. He swore softly and I saw his fist clench at his side.
He took a step closer and put his hand under my nape. His fingers were firm on my neck as he pulled me to him and put his warm lips against my forehead.
“Forgive me, Cat,” he whispered. “There’s something I have to do. I have no choice.”
Before I could ask what exactly he meant, he let me go. Without a word or a look, he moved past me, back to being cold and indifferent.
And godawful calm.
A growing sense of fear filled me. I realized what he planned to do. Damn him. He’s going to play the freaking hero. The damn knight-in-shining-armor.
I watched with a mixture of anger and panic as he grabbed both of the guns from the bed and headed back to me.
“Keep it on you,” he said, holding out one of the guns to me, the tenderness gone. He was unemotional. His tone held too much finality and was way too composed. It made me mad.
“Don’t you dare, Cash,” I said, the tears in my eyes welling up more. “Don’t you fuckin’ dare do it.”
His jaw hardened but a flicker of something passed over his eyes. Tenderness? Regret? Love? Whatever it was, it was gone in a flash.
He reached out and grabbed my hand. With forcefulness, he curved my fingers around the gun, making me to take it.
“Don’t fight me on this, Cat. Gavin went for the horses and Tate’s taking you and Keely to meet him,” he said with so much composure that I wanted to scream. “I want you to ride fast and hard away from here. Don’t stop until you’re a safe distance away.”
“No!” I said, balling my hands into fists.
Cash looked at me with impatience. “Yes. Do what I say, Cat. Go.”
That’s when I got rip-roaring pissed off. He was standing in front of me in his damn hat and boots with a gun in his hand and another in his belt. I knew he had at least two deadly knives on him. I had watched – satiated, sore, and oh so satisfied - from the bed this morning as he dressed and hid them under his clothes. He might be a human arsenal but he was mine. I wasn’t going to let him walk into a bloodbath. And that’s what it would be against all those men on the street. A suicidal bloodbath.
I took an angry step toward him. My body brushed against his, seeking what it always wanted. I could feel his heat, his power, around me. It gave me the courage I needed to do what I should have already done.
With my heart thumping wildly and fury plus fear racing through me, I glared at him.
“Why should I take orders from you?” I asked, trying hard to keep the desperation out of my voice.
Cash gazed down at me with rage. “Because I’m the man who pretends to love you.”
My mouth went dry. My lips parted to draw in a swift intake of air.
Cash didn’t seem to notice the effect it had on me. His voice was still harsh. “They used my sister, Cat. They hurt you. Do you know what that does to me, knowing that someone touched you?” He shook his head. “No, I’m not going to leave without making them pay. Don’t ask me to.”
He took a step back as if he was done talking, but I wasn’t having any of it. I reached out and grabbed his jacket, yanking him back to me.
“Don’t do it,” I demanded, tightening my fingers in his jacket.
The corner of his mouth lifted in a lopsided grin but it held no humor, only danger.
“Sweetheart, I’ll do whatever I please.”
I pulled him down until his lips were level with mine. “Then stop pretending.”
His nostrils flared. The rage disappeared from his eyes. He took a step closer but didn’t touch me, just stared down at me under the brim of his cowboy hat.
“I’ll stop pretending when you tell me you’re not scared of feeling something for me anymore,” he said in a taut voice, sounding angry. “Hell, I’ll even t
urn my back on those men to hear you say it.”
I looked down at his mouth, only a hair’s breath from mine. “I’m not scared, cowboy.”
He slid his hand around to my bottom. His fingers spread over my waist and the curve of my backside. He pulled me toward him and ducked his head, his mouth going to the shell of my ear.
“Then say it,” he whispered, his warm breath washing over the delicate skin of my ear. “Just once let me hear it.”
I shivered and gulped, knowing what he wanted to hear. “I love you, Cash.”
“I love you too, Beauty Queen.”
His lips captured mine. Everything I had denied myself filled me again. Love. Hope. Dreams. Feelings. I felt them all flood me, giving me life. Giving me Cash.
Too soon, he slid his mouth from mine, letting his hands linger on me. “Let’s go home, Cat. Together.”
He grabbed my hand and pulled me out the door.
With the knowledge that we loved each other, we walked out of the hotel.
And into hell.
~~~~
Read the rest of Cash and Cat’s story in
"Promise Me Forever"
Coming Soon
Acknowledgements
I would like to thank author Kele Moon. Not only is she an awesome writer but she’s also a wonderful friend. Thank you, Kele, for the shoulder to cry on when my characters would not behave and the words of encouragement when I believed my writing was terrible. Thanks for taking the time to read my stuff, no matter how busy you were. And thanks for the numerous texts discussing serious issues such as another word for penis. You’ve made me laugh and you’ve made me go on in this crazy, wonderful world of writing.
Author Tiffany Snow also deserves a big thanks from me. She is wonderful and amazing and I want to be her when I grow up.
I want to say thank you to Emily Smith-Kidman for all that she has done. She was patient when I refused to divulge any Cash information and went above and beyond for me in so many ways. I’m thankful I met her during the early days of Promise Me Darkness and I value her friendship greatly. Thank you, Emily, for all the teasers and posts and support you have given me! The book gods were smiling down at me when they introduced me to you.