"Mmm…" The low purring growl of desire rising in his throat as he lapped gently at her fingertip seemed to confirm her thought.
Disturbed and aroused at the same time, Elise pulled back slowly and cupped his cheek again. Then she turned her attention to something else that interested her—his scar.
Carefully, she traced one fingertip over the cruel white line which ran the length of his face, bisecting his eyebrow and narrowly missing his eye. Merrick shivered under her touch like a nervous animal but said nothing.
“How did you get this?” Elise asked softly, hoping he wouldn’t mind the question. There were other scars on his big body—plenty of them. But this was the most obvious—and the most cruel.
“Got in a fight,” he said briefly. “With a male who hurt someone I loved.”
Elise felt her heart fist in her chest but she tried to ignore the sensation. After all, they were both adults. She couldn’t expect him to have never cared for anyone before her. “Oh?” she said lightly. “Was she pretty?”
“Beautiful. But I don’t want to talk about her now.” He sighed and pressed his head forward gently, nuzzling her hand. “Someday, baby, I’ll tell you all about my scars. When you’re ready to tell me about yours.”
“I see.” Elise stopped tracing his scar and moved her hand down to the strong cords of his throat instead. “I don’t know if that will ever happen,” she said softly, running one hand from his neck to his shoulder. “I don’t know if I’ll ever…ever be ready for that.” It was the closest she could come to acknowledging the vault and everything inside it. It wasn’t much, but Merrick seemed to understand and appreciate her effort.
“That’s all right. We don’t need to talk about it now. For now just touch me.”
Elise did as he said. Her hands slipped from his shoulders and down his muscular arms. She could feel his biceps and triceps tense beneath her wandering hands. With pleasure? Sexual tension? She tried not to think about it too much—or to consider the fact that while she was starting to feel better—less hungry as it were—she was still nowhere near satisfied.
An old song hummed briefly in the back of her mind, “I can’t get no…satisfaction…” What would it take to give her that feeling of emotional fullness—of complete satisfaction? What would it take to feed the hunger until it left her alone, for even a little while? Elise was afraid to consider it. Instead she tried to keep her mind blank and let her hands do the work her mind was too frightened to contemplate.
Merrick was half turned over now so that instead of his profile, she saw him more face on. Somehow, though, it didn’t bother her as it had before they’d started this little exercise. He was so big and warm that touching him—exploring him—was exactly what she imagined stroking a tiger would be like. Without all the fur, of course, but his size and the caged violence inside him—evident even in repose—put the image in her mind and she found she couldn’t forget it.
He made soft, deep sounds of pleasure when she stroked him, her hands wandering over his muscular chest and down his corded abdomen. She played lightly with the flat copper disks of his nipples, circling them with one teasing fingertip until Merrick made a growling sound of frustration.
This isn’t supposed to be sexual, she thought and hastily withdrew her hand…only to travel lower. His thighs and legs were powerful, lightly dusted with coarse black hair that felt ticklish under her palms. Elise stroked all the way down to his strong ankles and big feet before coming back up again.
She hesitated over the broad, plum-shaped head of his cock, protruding from between his thighs. It was even harder now, she saw, and there were droplets of clear fluid welling up on top. She wondered briefly what those pearly drops would taste like on her tongue and then pushed the thought away hurriedly. What was wrong with her? She never had thoughts like that—desires like that. And yet now, it seemed she did. Slowly, hesitantly, she let just her fingertips trail down, stroking lightly between his thighs, just where his shaft was. There seemed to be a swelling at its base—was that normal or just a Kindred thing? Honestly, Elise hadn’t seen enough naked men to know, not that she’d ever wanted to.
“It’s okay.” His deep voice brought her back to herself and she snatched her hand away.
“What?”
“I said, it’s okay,” he repeated. “Touch me however you want to, baby. However and wherever. I don’t mind.”
Elise wished briefly that she could allow him such free access to her body but even the thought made cold sweat break out on her forehead. “I thought you said it doesn’t…doesn’t have to be sexual,” she whispered through dry lips.
“It doesn’t,” Merrick assured her gently. “But it can be if you want it to be. If you need it to be.” Slowly, he arched his back, giving her greater access to his bound and naked body. “Go ahead, baby—do what you want. Take what you need.”
“I…I shouldn’t need to do that. To touch you there,” she whispered. Inside her head a little voice murmured, Don’t you mean you shouldn’t want to?
Merrick didn’t answer. He still looked relaxed—or at least most of him did. His shaft was rock hard and solid, thrusting up from between his thighs like an invitation.
What does it feel like? Before she could stop herself, Elise had leaned forward and cupped it in her hand.
Merrick let out a ragged gasp but he didn’t pull away. He just laid there, his big body tense as Elise touched him. The long shaft was much too thick to encircle with her fingers but she tried anyway. To her surprise the skin of his cock felt like velvet—or maybe rose petals. But it was hot too, much hotter than the rest of his body. Elise enjoyed the sensation. It was like holding a living creature in her hand—solid, hot, velvety and very, very male.
“Gods, baby,” Merrick groaned hoarsely when she slid her fingers up to the blunt, plum-shaped head and all the way back down to the swelling at the root of his cock. “Your sweet little hands are so soft.”
Elise spared a glance at his hands, bound helplessly behind his back by the shock cuffs and wondered what they would feel like on her bare skin. Big and callused but gentle was her guess. Gentle and very warm.
“What’s this?” she asked, trying to push the forbidden image out of her head as she stroked the swelling that ringed the base of his cock. “Is it a Kindred thing?”
“A Beast Kindred thing, yeah. Like my fangs are Blood Kindred.” He grinned briefly, showing the fangs in question. Half the time Elise forgot he had them—they really only showed when he smiled and he hadn’t had reason to smile much lately, she guessed.
“What is it?” she asked, determined to keep the conversation going, to keep things as normal as possible.
“It’s called a mating fist.” He caught his breath in a sharp hiss as Elise let her fingertips trail lightly over it. “It’s only used during sex. Bonding sex.”
“What does it do?” she asked curiously.
“Swells inside your pussy to tie us together,” he growled softly.
“It does? Why?” She shifted, parting her thighs slightly. Hearing him talk dirty made her feel hot and achy.
“That way the sex lasts longer and I could come in you again and again and make you mine. Bond you to me forever—the right way.” He groaned again. “Goddess, baby, you’re driving me fucking crazy.”
Elise felt a surge of empowerment. Merrick was a big, powerful male yet here he was, literally helpless in her hands. She was the one touching him, not the other way around. She was the one calling the shots—giving him pleasure, doing whatever she wanted. It made her feel strong and sexy in a way she never had before—in a way she’d never even imagined. Then his words began to register.
“Swells inside? How?” she demanded. “That would never fit in…in most girls.”
“Compounds in my precum help get you ready.” His deep voice was hoarse as she continued to stroke him. “Makes you able to stretch—to accommodate the fist with no pain. Just pleasure.”
“In your precum?” Elise l
et her fingers trail from the mating fist at the base of his shaft, up to the flaring crown, which was now shiny with clear fluid. Carefully, she rubbed her thumb over the satiny smooth skin, spreading the slippery precum over the sensitive head of his cock.
Merrick groaned again and thrust up into her hand. “Look baby, I love the way you touch me but you’d better stop now,” he warned. “Not unless you want me to come.”
For a moment Elise considered it. But it seemed to too much—going too far. She’d sworn to herself this wasn’t going to get sexual and now here she was, practically jerking him off. I’m engaged, she reminded herself guiltily as she reluctantly pulled back her hand. I shouldn’t be doing this. I should only do what I have to in order to satisfy the hunger.
The only problem was, the hunger was in no way satisfied. Elise wanted more, somehow, but she didn’t know what. More touching? More sexual touching? Maybe I just need to use more than my hands, she thought a bit desperately as the hunger gnawed at her middle. Maybe if I pressed against him…
The idea had upset her at first but now that she felt more familiar with Merrick’s big body, she was also more comfortable with the idea of a completely naked hug. Slowly, carefully, she moved forward, putting her arms around his neck and pressing her chest to his.
“Nice,” Merrick rumbled softly. “I like the feel of you against me.”
“I…I like it too,” Elise admitted a bit breathlessly. The warm sensation of his hard, muscular chest beneath her own soft breasts felt wonderful. She could feel his heart drumming too, a slower, deeper cadence than her own lighter, faster beat. His scent—the warm, masculine musk that reminded her of smoke and fur—seemed to pervade her senses completely, making her feel safe. It was better—much better…but still not quite good enough. She wanted, no—needed—more contact. More of his skin against hers. But how?
“Climb up the rest of the way if you want,” Merrick invited softly. “Lie down on me.”
“I…” Elise bit her lip. “I wouldn’t want to uh, squish you.”
To her surprise, he threw his head back against the pillow and roared with genuine amusement. “You squish me? Baby, you’re tiny.”
“I’m just petite,” Elise protested primly. “Which doesn’t bother me, by the way. I like being small and compact. It makes my opponents in the court room underestimate me.”
“Anyone would be a fool to do that.” He was still smiling, a hint of his fangs showing from beneath his sensuous upper lip. “But it’s good to like yourself. I like being big, too. Big enough for you to lie on me—if you want.”
So they were back to that. He really wants me to, she realized. As much as I want to, I think. “All right,” she said aloud. “But don’t blame me if you feel squished.” Carefully, slowly, she shifted her weight so that she was lying on him completely.
Merrick was on his back now with his bound hands under him. It couldn’t have been comfortable but he didn’t complain, just lay there quietly as she settled on top of him. Her breasts flattened out against his chest and he was so tall his thick shaft branded her thigh instead of her belly. Elise thought about moving so that she didn’t touch him there…and didn’t. Instead, she relaxed on top of him, enjoying the full body contact, feeling like a kitten cuddling with a Great Dane.
The warmth of his big body enveloped her, filling her with a sense of well-being she couldn’t deny. At last she began to feel the gnawing hunger retreat somewhat and a sense of peace took its place. This was good—this was right in a way she couldn’t deny. At the back of her head she knew it was just the fake bond making her feel this way, telling her she needed the big Kindred, needed to touch him and be touched by him. But somehow she didn’t care. Fake bond or not, it felt wonderful and she didn’t want to spoil the lovely sensation with over-analysis.
But as the hunger decreased, her other need grew. Lust flared to life inside her once more, licking at her inner thighs like a fire. She began to be hyperaware of the thick length of Merrick’s cock against her thigh, began to think about how close it was to her pussy, which was throbbing and hot and needy.
But I don’t want him in me. I don’t want anyone there! she thought, panicking a little. I can’t…not after…
The door of the vault shuddered as though something inside it was trying to get out. Desperately, Elise worked to keep it closed. I don’t want to think about that. About any of it. This is so nice—why do I have to ruin it by wanting something sexual? And yet, she did. There was no denying it, her pussy was hot and her nipples were tight. How could she, who had been happily frigid for so long, suddenly want this so badly? It didn’t make sense and yet there was no denying this feeling inside her. This need to be touched, to be stroked and pleasured and made to come…
“Elise?” Merrick shifted under her and she looked up to see his nostrils flaring rhythmically.
“Yes? Am I getting too heavy?” She prepared to get off him but his next words stopped her.
“You’re fine—stay put and tell me what’s wrong.”
“What…what do you mean? There’s nothing wrong,” she protested. “I just can’t quite…seem to get…comfortable.” As she spoke she pressed against him as though trying to find a better spot.
“How comfortable do you need to be?” Somehow his leg slipped between hers and she felt the warm, muscular ridge of his thigh press hard against her pussy.
“Oh!” The word left her lips in a little gasp of embarrassment. She was probably getting him all wet! “Oh, I…I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean…”
“Don’t be sorry. I’m not.” He shifted, pressing his thigh upward, rubbing against her, forcing her to ride him.
“Oh…” Elise breathed again. She could feel her swollen outer pussy lips opening, spreading for him as though of their own volition. Her slippery inner cunt and her sensitive clit were laid bare, rubbing against his hard thigh in a way that made her moan aloud.
“You like that?” Merrick moved again, sending another shower of pleasure sparks pulsing through her body. “You like to ride me, baby?”
“I…yes. Yes, I do,” Elise admitted, unable to help herself. But though the feel of his thigh pressed against her throbbing button was amazing, it still wasn’t quite enough. Moaning in frustration, she rubbed against him, feeling like she was going to go crazy if the sensation building inside her didn’t come to a peak soon. She needed something—needed to come, she was sure of that. But how? To her secret shame she’d never had an orgasm before and so had no idea how to go about doing it now.
“You okay, baby?” Merrick asked, obviously sensing her frustration.
“Yes…no.” Elise let out a little moan of dissatisfaction. “I just…I can’t quite…this isn’t enough somehow.”
Merrick’s answer was immediate and mirrored her own thoughts. “You need to come.”
“How…how could you possibly know that?” Elise demanded, feeling her cheeks get hot. “How—?”
“Told you, I can smell it on you. You’re hot but you’ve hit a wall. You need to go up and over—let yourself soar.”
“All right, fine. But how?” Elise demanded, feeling frustrated.
“Easy. Touch yourself.” He sounded so matter of fact about it, as though it was no big deal. But it was a big deal to Elise—a very big deal. Letting the sexual part of herself out enough to actively pursue pleasure was frightening and foreign. She didn’t know if she could do it.
Elise bit her lip. “I…I’ve never…”
“Never?” he demanded, frowning.
“If I have, I don’t remember it,” Elise said defensively. Drawing away from him, she moved back to her side of the bed and crossed her legs tightly. “I just…I try not to think about things like this. So I never…never need to, you know…do that.”
Merrick’s response surprised her. “Let me help you.”
“Help me what?”
“Come.” He looked up at her and now she was certain he could see her through the black lace of the blindfold. ?
??Let me help you come.”
“How…how would you do that?” Elise could feel her breath coming short and she squeezed her thighs tightly together, as though to hide her need.
“Remember what I told you on our ride back to the Mother Ship? That I wanted to taste you?” His deep voice was filled with desire—desire for her, Elise realized. Desire to spread her legs and taste and suck and lick her naked pussy. The idea was both titillating and terrifying—and completely too much.
“I…oh. Oh, no!” She pressed her thighs together even tighter. “I couldn’t let you do that. I just couldn’t.”
“All right then.” He sighed. “I figured that might be going too far but I had to ask. You smell so damn good I couldn’t help it.”
“I…oh. Well, thank you.” She nodded uncertainly. “Look, maybe we should just forget it. I’m feeling much better now and—”
“Is the hunger gone? Completely gone?” Merrick asked.
Elise opened her mouth to lie…and then remembered he could feel what she felt. “No,” she admitted at last in a small voice. “No…but it is much better.”
“And it’s gonna get much fucking worse again if you don’t let yourself come,” Merrick said firmly. “Look, Sylvan said it might get sexual so this shouldn’t be a surprise. If you don’t want my help, you’re going to have to manage it yourself—I'm betting it’s the only way to back the hunger off for any length of time.”
“Fine.” Elise lifted her chin. “I…I’ll manage.” After all, how hard could it be?
Scooting backwards so that she was sitting with her back against the headboard, she got settled and took a deep breath. She gave another quick look at Merrick, wondering if he was watching her beneath the blindfold. He just lay there quietly, saying nothing, obviously waiting for her to work it out herself. Which I am perfectly capable of doing, Elise told herself sternly.
Casting another quick, furtive glance at Merrick, she slipped one hand between her thighs and began to rub her sensitive mound. At first it seemed things were going well but then Elise began to feel nervous. Had she ever done this before? She had told Merrick she hadn’t, but now she wondered. This all seemed familiar. Familiar and dangerous. But then, anything sexual felt dangerous and always had. Ever since…