“So where have you decided to go on your last visit to modern society?” I ask.
“Any place there are people. My fans need to see me in person.”
“What about Thomas? Where’s he going?”
“He asked to tag with me. Janet convinced me to let him.”
“You and Thomas mingling with the crowds will make the national news.”
“I’m counting on it.”
I say nothing.
“Don’t give me that look Cephas. This is hard for me. I may no longer want all the things that come with fame but it’s okay to be in the spotlight once and awhile. There has to be a way to have both fame and choose a different life from my old one.”
“If there’s a way to have both, I’m sure you’ll find it.”
“So where are you going?”
“I’m going to Presque Isle Park to walk the nature trails. I just want to walk and think and be by myself.”
“And you’re giving me a hard time about falling into my old ways?”
She sits next to me and puts her hand on my arm. A month ago I may have recoiled from her touch but now it’s clear she’s just being a friend.
“If there’s one thing I’m an expert at, it’s recognizing when a man has been crushed by a woman. I used to take joy in seeing men crushed over me but seeing it in you is breaking my heart. Did you really think I couldn’t feel your tears on my head? Janet told me about Martha. I think I could help you get over her if you’d let me.”
I shudder and bury my face in my hands. I don’t want to look her in the eyes. I’m afraid of what she’ll see. She puts her arms around me and holds me just like I’ve been holding her each night. I can’t hold it inside any longer.
“Have you ever been in love Jocie?”
“I know I have a little flicker of real love for one man.”
“I have an inferno. It used to be a light to guide me through darkness but it’s become a lake of fire that’s burning me alive.”
“She was an actress,” Jocie replies. “She was no more real than a character in a movie.”
“No. I looked into her eyes just like I’ve looked into yours. She was able to hide a lot from me but not that. The moment she kissed me I knew.”
“Grow up Cephas. As an actress I’ve done hundreds of kiss scenes. Anyone can learn to make a kiss look and feel like more than it really means to them. I’ll prove it, close your eyes and kiss me like you kissed her.”
I close my eyes and picture Martha with the sun shining through her hair then feel Jocie’s soft lips touch mine. I remember the feeling that I was created just for the purpose of kissing Martha and let it flow through me and into Jocie. It only lasts a second before I’m pulled back to reality when Jocie withdraws. I keep my eyes closed, trying to hold onto Martha for even a moment longer.
When I open my eyes tears are rolling down Jocie’s cheeks.
“I’m now guilty of another sin. Envy,” she says.
I look into Jocie’s eyes and nearly gasp at what I see.
“You may be feeling some envy, but that’s not why you’re crying.”
“No. It’s not.”
“You’re crying for me because I’m in pain. You’re crying because you love me.”
“Yes.”
***
A half hour later Janet calls me to say Jocie has requested separate transportation to and from Marquette. I stick to my plan and seclude myself in the park. The nature trails are as beautiful as any I’ve seen, I even spot a deer that the security guys have not managed to scare away but nothing can remove the weight I’m feeling inside. I’ve brought a small tablet so I sit and read for a while. Although it’s a warm day for December my hands get cold so I decide to stop at the snack shop for a hot drink.
Outside the snack shop a young woman is arguing with a young man. He has six long-stemmed white roses in his hand and is trying to apologize for something he’s done. As I approach I almost freeze, the woman is Cindi Stone from my class back in Colorado. Her hair color has been changed and she’s wearing a hat and sunglasses but it’s definitely her.
When I’m just a few meters away the young man yells: “That’s it. Just forget it,” then turns to me and says “I bet you know someone who’d appreciate these more than her. Here, take them,” and he storms off.
Cindi smiles at me.
“They say the booth way in the back is for lovers,” she whispers then she stalks off too.
The camera guy and two security people were close enough to see the exchange and I’m sure all they saw was a random encounter as I walked into a snack shop.
Oh please let Martha be here. But if she’s here, is it to kill me or protect me or maybe, just maybe to tell me she loves me?
The security people should feel at ease, the place is empty and the booth Cindi suggested is in a dead end where nobody can approach me without them seeing it. The camera crew and a couple of corps guys take a table near the door and start talking. They order from the computer and a motorized service cart brings them drinks.
As I take the booth I see why Cindi chose it. The wall is mirrored so anyone who approaches me will be able to watch the security team over their shoulder.
A waitress approaches me and says in a mid-western twang, “The cart for this area is broken. What can I get for ya?”
I barely keep from gasping when I recognize the voice as Martha’s. Her blonde hair has been dyed red and pulled into a bun that’s hidden by a small hat, but it’s Martha. I’m speechless. I desperately wanted her to be here, but what do you say to a woman you’ve fallen in love with when you don’t know if it was her or just an illusion she created?
The security team acknowledged her reason for approaching me and has gone back to their conversation. Martha watches their every move in the mirror.
“Please look at me,” I say under my breath.
Her eyes slowly drop from the mirror to meet mine, like she’s fighting a battle of wills to make them move. When our eyes finally meet I see hers start to water up and she closes them, squeezing out a tear. Her eyes return to the mirror and refuse to move again.
“I still don’t know what I am,” I say. “But I know that I’ll leave with you right now if you ask me.”
“That’s why I came here, but now that I see you in person I know that I have to follow orders and let you go. I need to know the truth as much as you do.”
“You also know that no matter whether I prove Christ real or a fraud, when I get back there’s going to be someone waiting to kill me for it. The question is, will it be you?”
“I already told you, Four is not what you think.”
“You said you were sent to prepare me to choose. What does that mean? What does Four need me to choose?”
One of the corps guards gets uncomfortable over how long Martha has spent taking my order and begins to stand up. She takes two of the roses from the table then spins on her heel and leaves without a word. When the guard sees the roses in her hand he smiles and assumes I was hitting on her.
Ten minutes later she returns with a cup of mint tea. She’s cut the stems short and placed the roses on either side of the cup as decorations. Her eyes are once again focused on the mirror but when I look at her face it’s clear she’s been crying.
“I made a choice. Maybe these roses will help you make a choice too.”
She turns to leave.
“Oh, Miss.” She turns back towards me. “Take the rest of the roses.”
As she reaches for them I drop one to the floor and as we both reach to pick it up I’m close enough to her ear to whisper without being overheard. “I choose you,” I say and slip my tablet computer into her waitress apron.
“Bad choice.”
She closes her eyes tightly and more tears squeeze out.
She disappears into the kitchen and a moment later I see her outside running for the nearby woods with the roses in her hand. The corps people don’t notice a thing, nor do they notice when I
slip the roses Martha left into my pocket.
I raise the cup of tea that Martha brought.
If it’s not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.
***
On the drive back to NASA the hover bus has a news feed that’s showing the surprise public appearance. There’s just a quick shot of me walking by myself but a lot of footage of Jocie and Thomas. Despite goading from the audience, Jocie wouldn’t even hold Thomas’ hand much less kiss him like the audience wanted. Instead she spent her time talking with people rather than playing for the cameras. More than that, she looks like she’s enjoying the conversations.
She really has changed.
***
When we get back to NASA. I retreat to my suite and lock myself in the bathroom. Each of the roses has a single word imprinted on it to give me a clue as to the choice Martha says I need to make.
One says “Life” and the other says “Death”.
Chapter Twenty
Although there have been many proposals to build a floating tube system to cross the Atlantic, it still hasn’t happened so we’re on a private flight to Israel. Each of the time travelers has a private room but when I try to speak with Jocie through the door she tells me to go away. She apparently sent Thomas away as well.
“Just promise me you won’t let that inner beauty stop growing, okay?” I say through the door which flings open to reveal a tear streaked Jocie.
“Why bother? It’s never going to be enough.”
“Enough for what?”
“It’s never going to be enough to get you to kiss me like you kissed her. Nobody in this world will ever kiss me like that again. The only consolation I have is that I didn’t destroy your memory of her kiss like I destroy everything else I touch.”
“Close your eyes,” I say.
“Why?”
“I’m going to kiss you like I kissed Martha, straight from my heart to yours with every bit of the love I feel for you. It’s going to be like no kiss you’ve received before or will ever receive again and you’re going to remember it for the rest of your life. It’ll be yours alone and nothing will ever destroy the memory of it.”
She closes her eyes and waits with her chins raised and her lips just slightly pursed.
Instead of kissing her right away I take her into my arms and hold her. She’s quite a bit shorter than I am so her head naturally falls onto my chest so I deliver the kiss that expresses my true feelings for her, onto her forehead. I imagine my kiss slowly spreading warmth over her entire body until it reaches her, well, her soul.
There. I dared to think it.
I expect her to be mad or upset that she didn’t receive the romantic kiss she was expecting but instead she snuggles into me.
“Perfect,” is all she says.
***
Unlike most of the others on the plane I’ve been to Jerusalem many times but even so I’m filled with a sense of awe whenever I visit. I wish the awe stemmed from appreciating its beauty and history but instead it comes from the over whelming feeling of evil that permeates this place. The residual radiation from the bombs was cleaned up decades ago but it was decided to leave most of the city in its desolated state as a massive war memorial.
It’s been more than one-hundred years since the Final Holy War ended and still practically no one lives here. There are no prayers said at the Wailing Wall or on the Temple Mount because that area is nothing more than a crater. The rim of the crater has a walkway for tourists but few know what used to stand at ground zero.
Nor do they know that the walkway was paid for by those same powerful Atheist families. It was their way of gloating.
Our destination is about ten kilometers away from Jerusalem on a hillside overlooking the Prat River. The area is far from where a tourist would normally venture so I’m amazed to see a large crowd of people as we approach. The side of the mountain where the cave stands has been carved away to create an amphitheater so the open side now resembles the set of a movie studio. Hundreds of people can sit and watch as we’re sent back in time as if they’re the studio audience watching a new drama being created.
Jocie is thrilled to be in her element in front of the lights and cameras and walks into the cave to wave and blow kisses to an adoring crowd. Not one person has asked her about her “Christian beliefs” and I haven’t seen the massive gold cross for weeks. Janet is correct, they just want to be entertained.
I don’t think I’ve ever missed Martha as much as I do at this moment. Luckily the tech guys come and gather us travelers to explain what we can expect as they put on their show for the crowd. Once they have the crowd settled Dr. Davis gives us and the entire world a tour of the cave.
“The original cave wall is indicated by this line on the floor so you can see that when you arrive the space will be limited but not overly cramped. We’ve also raised the ceiling a bit to accommodate our equipment and to improve the quality of the video but the original height is still high enough for all of you to stand.”
“What’s the approximate volume of the original cave?” I ask. “We have to dig ourselves out, so how long will the air last?”
“With three of you working together we estimate it’ll take no more than an hour to dig through the meter or so of debris,” he replies. “You’ll have more than enough time to get through and refresh the air. Since you raised the subject, here’s the cave entrance that you need to excavate. As you can see it’s identical to the replica we built at our training facility.”
“Now let’s show the audience the travel arena,” Dr. Davis says as the giant birdcage is brought out. “Once the arena is placed here in the cave its position will be mapped to one-tenth of a micron. When the initial transport is done the arena will travel with them. Once they’re gone an identical arena will be placed in precisely the same spot. We can then bring anything that’s inside the first arena back to our time.”
“How do you get their first arena back here when this is all done?” I ask. It had never occurred to me before. “If you don’t bring it back then it would have been sitting inside the cave when you first unearthed it.”
“In fact, Dr. Paulson, it was sitting inside the cave!”
Some stage hands bring out an old beat up arena. It still has two-thousand years of dust and black stains on it from sitting inside the cave for so long. The crowd claps at his clever and dramatic answer my question. I must admit that for a scientist he’s a real showman. I want to inspect the “old” cage but the stage hands cover and remove it.
“Thank you all for coming. Now it’s time for the travelers to do one last equipment check and get some sleep before tomorrow’s big event.”
A large curtain is drawn around the cave area and we can hear the crowd disperse.
“We’re seeing a last minute complication,” Dr. Davis says when he has us to himself. “It’s going to be a much tighter fit inside the arena than we thought.”
“How tight?” Thomas asks.
“Have you ever heard of sardines? We have two cases of equipment that need to go plus a case with the money and food. You’ll need to stack the cases behind you and then squeeze yourselves together. We suggest you arrange yourselves in height order with Dr. Thomas standing since he’s the tallest. It’s the only way the production people think they can get all three of your faces together for the departure shot.”
“Why does Thomas get to be on top?” Jocie asks.
I look at Jocie. It’s often hard to see how much she’d changed. She gives me a look to indicate she’ll be kind and compassionate only when it’s convenient for her and now is not the time.
For the next thirty minutes we try to squeeze ourselves into the arena in various ways. The production people are correct, the only way we can all be facing the crowd is the arrangement they suggest.
“You’ll have to figure out something else,” Jocie says. “I’m not going to be on the bottom.”
I bite my tongue rath
er than delivering the retort I’d like to say.
“Why don’t we throw out one of these cases?”
Jocie opens the nearest case and begins to rummage through to find things that aren’t needed.
“No, Jocie,” Dr. Davis says. “You’ll need everything we’ve packed.”
They begin to squabble.
“Enough!” I say. “I volunteer to be lowest in the shot. Thomas can stand, Jocie can stand on a case and be at his shoulder height and I’ll sit on the other cases and be lowest and to one side.”
We try it and it works fairly well, though not as well as the original arrangement.
“I still don’t want to be lower than Thomas,” Jocie says and the squabbling begins all over again.
I produce a loud whistle with my fingers and everyone stops to look at me.
“Jocie, the only way you can be the same height as Thomas is if we stack two cases and you stand on them and you and Thomas face each other. If we do that then I go onto the ground with my back to you two and the crowd. My face will be out of the shot, but I don’t care anymore.”
When we practice the arrangement with my face out of the shot, Thomas is even more pleased than Jocie. They look like two lovers facing each other while I look like a bitter, jilted ex-lover who has been squeezed out of the love triangle. It suits me.
Nobody will remember your departure.
***
We’re housed in a secure area that’s been erected near the cave and given one last medical exam to be sure we won’t carry diseases back in time. I choose to dine alone but I’m only half done when there’s a knock at my door. I open it to find Jocie standing in a bathrobe.
“I’m here to give you a look at something you’ve been wanting to see.”
She opens the robe so reveal that she’s fully clothed but wearing the large gold cross she wore to the big announcement.
My head hits my chest with a sigh while Jocie laughs about the look on my face and I can’t help but join her. When the laughter ends I share what’s on my mind.
“You’ve come a long way since the first time we met, but I couldn’t help but notice you had some selfish motivations regarding the arrangement in the travel arena.”
“I know. It’s still really hard for me. I’m still an actress and we’re still walking onto the largest stage the world has ever seen. How do you do it? How do you keep the world from deciding who you are for you?”