CHAPTER TEN
“Lilly!”
I woke up and noticed Jo standing beside me, gently nudging me and calling my name, “Lilly, wake up.”
“You had me worried for a little while, then,” she said. “I saw you lying here and, well, I didn't really know what to think.”
“Sorry... I just had to get out of the house and I guess I was much more exhausted than I thought. The sound of the water must've sent me to sleep,” I answered guiltily with a yawn.
“How you can sleep in this cold, I've no idea,” she laughed, “You know, Gabriel would be so disappointed to know that you came here... but don't worry, I won't tell him. After all, I come walking in the forest all the time and I know he'd go nuts at me too,” she added with a guilty giggle.
A feeling of relief flooded through my veins. Earlier, I had been intent on rebellion but thinking about it now, I didn't want to hurt my family.
“I haven't been gone very long, have I?” I asked.
Jo reassured me that my nap was only a short one and she had, in fact, watched me leave the house and had followed me ten minutes later to make sure I was okay.
Sitting down beside me, I noticed she had a small rucksack on her back which she took off as she smiled at me. “I figured we might need sustenance, so I grabbed a few bits before coming after you.” She opened the bag, revealing scones, sandwiches, fruit and cans of what she called 'soda'.
My stomach rumbled in response.
“I guess I was right,” she said as we delved in and enjoyed our own mini banquet out in the cold as we listened to the peaceful sounds of the river.
As we ate and drank and got to know each other a bit better, we knew that we would become good friends. Jo was a few years older than me and would be celebrating her eighteenth birthday in a few months.
“I'm so glad you came out to find me, Jo. My life has been so weird over the past few months and so it's good to have someone to confide in.”
Cocking her head to one side just like the ravens on my windowsill, Jo smiled inquisitively and I continued, “After my parents vanished, I felt like I didn't belong anywhere, you know? Actually, come to think of it, I guess I've never felt like I belonged. But coming here... and meeting all of you guys, it's just incredible. I can't describe it, really. Well, it's like, like I've finally come home, you know?”
She nodded sadly.
“But I feel guilty about it. How can I feel like that when my parents are gone?” Tears threatened to erupt down my cheeks.
“You have nothing to feel guilty about, Lilly. You have come home. You clearly belong here. It's not your fault your parents disappeared. We will find them. I'm sure they're okay. Why don't you tell me all about your life in England. I'd love to know more!” she said in an attempt to cheer me up. I knew she would be horrified when she learnt the truth, but she insisted on hearing about it.
So I told her how I had grown up. In a strange and lonely world, trapped in a home with no love, no joy.
“Lilly, that is so sad. All of this proves that you really have nothing to feel guilty about. You deserve some happiness now. I wish you had grown up here with us though. We would probably have been the best of friends from the day you were born. You know, for someone that never had a loving family, you're very grounded. If I had to guess, I would have said that you grew up happy and loved, judging by your personality.”
Jo's upbringing couldn't have been more different from my own. She had always been surrounded by the most loving family, the Tulugaqs, and it showed. She was happy and delightful to be around.
“If you had grown up in Powell River, you'd know that it is wonderful here. Of course there's always going to be your typical neighbourhood gossip but everyone always rallies round and makes it the most wonderful place to be. But at least you're here now. We can enjoy it together from now on.”
I was so touched that I hugged her before she asked me a little more about England.
After telling her of the little I knew of the country that had been my home, I expressed how upset I was to be kept in the dark about something within the family, about something that I believed I had a right to know.
“I do understand, Lilly, but Gabriel never does anything without giving it a lot of thought first. He must have a very good reason not to tell you... yet, anyway. I'm sure he will tell you soon enough.”
“Don't you know anything, Jo? Is there something you can tell me?” I asked, hoping that she would at least be able to give me just a hint of something... anything to put my mind at ease.
She looked away then and sighed and I knew I was wrong to ask her. She was obviously torn between her love for her family and her newfound friendship with me.
I decided not to push it. It wouldn't be fair. So as she looked back at me, I smiled and changed the subject.
“Tell me about school, Jo... I guess I'll be attending the same school as you. Can you give me an idea of what to expect?”
Relieved to have a change of subject, she smiled at me with thanks and told me all about the local high school, how it was like any other American or Canadian high school – with popular kids and geeks and football and cheerleading. She told me I shouldn't worry though. She knew I would fit in well. I certainly hoped so. I just hoped that I was at the same level as the other kids in my class; it would be so embarrassing to be behind them. Jo just had one school year left, whereas I still had a few to go. I wished we were the same age so I would have at least one person to go to class with. But she reassured me that I would get on with everyone. There weren't really any awful kids there, she'd said.
Didn't every school have their fair share of awful kids?
“Come on, Lilly. We ought to make a move and get back to the party. Everyone will be wondering where we are. We don't want them to worry. Plus, Oliver was asking after you.”
Jo could tell I was mortified, so I explained about my reaction to him and she smiled. “Well, he seemed interested to know more about you so I wouldn't worry if I were you.”
I told her that I'd rather give the party a miss altogether and she suggested we at least go back and show our faces. We could always sneak off somewhere else if we felt like it.
Reluctantly, I joined her and she led the way back through the forest, until we reached the footpath I had walked on earlier.
It was then that I realised I could have so easily become lost within those trees and so I was truly grateful to Jo for following me. After voicing my thanks, she became a little more serious... “If I'm totally honest with you, Lilly, it was Rose that saw you leave. She asked me to make sure you were okay and it was her that gave me the bag with the food. Of course I would have followed you had I known you'd ventured out into the forest alone but I hadn't actually noticed.”
“Well, I am grateful to you both,” I said, gently punching her on her shoulder as we approached the log home that was full of the sounds of music, voices and laughing.
Although gratitude enveloped me, I knew it wouldn't be the last time I ventured out into those woods. Although I knew I could easily get lost in there, deep down I had the feeling that the forest held the key to this secret and if nobody would tell me, I would have to find out for myself.
That night after everybody had gone home and I lay there in the darkness, I thought about Oliver and how stupid I must have looked on our first encounter. Fortunately Jo had assured me that Oliver wasn't the type of person to think of anyone as stupid. Apparently he was a great guy, loved by all and she was sure my initial reaction had just left him curious to find out more about me.
When we'd returned to the party, albeit briefly, I'd scanned the crowd for him and he'd looked up and seen me. I blushed like an idiot but he waved and flashed those beautiful white teeth at me in what can only be described as the most stunning smile... ever. My stomach had flipped before I'd disappeared back into my bedroom.
I was fully aware that I was beginning to look like a lovesick puppy and I felt stupid. Although I had never had a boyfriend, I
'd had my share of crushes at school. None of them were like this though. Perhaps it was just an after effect of losing my parents and I was looking for someone to love and to love me back.
Before I closed my eyes that night, I took one last look towards the forest – I'd purposefully left the blinds open so I could see outside. But there was nothing but pitch black all around, the only lights were those coming from the sky above, where a million glittering stars squinted brightly. The night sky in this part of the world was amazing. But just as I admired them, the pitch black reminded me once more about something Gabriel had said before, that black was the colour of magic. I wondered then if there was, in fact, magic around me as I dozed off to sleep.
I found myself back in the forest, surrounded by the sounds of running water and hundreds of birds twittering away. I was standing in the same spot where I had stood earlier and so I decided to do a bit of investigating. I climbed down the smooth rocks towards the water. It was icy blue and sparkling so bright that I had to shield my eyes.
As I bent down to touch it, a raven flew down and stood to my left, followed by another one to my right. They pointed with their wings to the opposite side of the river bank. I looked up and saw two cats – one pure black and one pure white. Their eyes as black as the night. They sat and watched my every move. Even when the ravens took to the sky, they didn't take their eyes off me. I looked upwards and saw them flying high above me, watching me from above and I felt as though I was being pulled between the birds and the cats. I couldn't understand but it was as though I needed to follow them... but did I cross the river to be with the cats or did I go upwards to be with the ravens? I looked up again and in a matter of seconds, I was up there with them, flying in the sky looking down on the two majestic creatures below. Again I felt a pull between them but for now the feeling of freedom, of flying, was just too good and so I remained with my two friends as we glided effortlessly above the trees. As I swooped down towards the water I saw three birds below. Three black ravens, graceful and serene. Then I realised what I saw was a reflection in the water. I was a bird. I was no longer a teenage girl. I had become a raven. The shock of the realisation temporarily stunned me and I had no control over my body. I fell towards the water.
I awoke with a thud... I'd fallen out of bed.
“Lilly... are you all right my dear?” said a concerned voice as a light was flicked on and my grand-father rushed in towards me.
“I heard you scream and then there was a bang,” he said worryingly.
I explained I'd just had a strange dream and it had made me fall out of bed. “I'm fine. No need to worry,” I said. But I couldn't help but notice that he looked a little preoccupied.
“A strange dream?” he'd asked.
“Just a dream, Gabriel. People have strange dreams all the time,” I laughed. “It's okay, I'm fine, go back to bed. I'll see you in the morning.”
He said nothing more, except to wish me a goodnight and he switched the light back off as he left me to think about the ravens and the cats and that exhilarating feeling of flying.