I felt like such a fool. An idiot. I hoped that nobody had noticed me but I was sure that Oliver's first opinion of me was not a particularly good one. How could it possibly be? I was rude and then I ran away. If I'm lucky, I thought, perhaps everybody would just think it's too much for me to cope with. All those people. Yes, it is a lot to deal with in such a short amount of time.
Before I knew it, I had run to the edge of the tall dark trees. The forest Gabriel had told me not to enter. I turned briefly to see if anyone had noticed. I appeared to be alone. What the hell? I thought. What have I got to lose? So I walked beyond the trees as I zipped up my coat and put on my warm gloves.
Adrenaline coursed through my body, just as it had when I'd chopped off all my lovely long hair and bleached it. It was the first time I had gone against someone's wishes. Although I did feel guilty, I couldn't shake the fact that I was being kept in the dark about something important and it wasn't fair. It was my life and I deserved to know. And so I felt free taking those steps into the unknown. If they won't tell me what I have a right to know, then I won't go along with their wishes, I thought.
I started to walk a little faster, breaking out into a run and as I approached each tree the branches seemed to welcome me in. As my breathing quickened, my face began to become gently scratched by the foliage around me.
I stopped to catch my breath and to look around. I was surrounded by beautiful tall green trees and wide thick tree trunks but no footpath. What did drift into my ears though, was the sound of trickling water. I strained to hear where it was coming from and followed the gentle, soothing sounds.
Moments later, the trees gave way to a large open expanse and I stood beside a gently flowing river. The water was crystal clear and revealed pebbles and stones of all shapes and sizes laying on its bed. I sat on a huge smooth boulder and enjoyed the moment, leaning backwards so that I was flat on my back. I looked up into the blue sky and noticed some dark clouds rolling in, but I didn't care. In fact, for the first time in a long time, I didn't give a damn.
The sounds of the forest and the water beside me gently lulled me and so I closed my eyes, feeling restful, wondering why on earth my grand-father had tried to stop me from walking into the forest. There was nothing but beauty and peace. I felt myself slowly dropping off to sleep and even though my fingers and toes tingled in the cold, I drifted and drifted until sleep overcame me.
A woman dressed in white appears from nowhere in front of me. She is very pretty with long black hair down her back. Her smile lights up her face and she sits by my side. She says nothing while we sit in silence. Suddenly she lifts her arm and a raven lands on her hand. She looks at me and nods. She's trying to tell me something. I try to ask her what it is but nothing comes out of my mouth. I try to speak again but there are no words. I begin to feel a little frustrated. Why can't I speak? Suddenly the woman disappears and a large cat is sitting by my side, with the raven perched on its back. It opens its beak, “Lilly... Lilly,” it says. I'm frightened. The raven speaks? “Lilly... Lilly.” It becomes louder and louder and suddenly it is shaking me.