::Well, Princess? Are you going to answer her question?::
I was glad he didn’t use that ability of his too much. It was very distracting.
What do you think I should tell her? I projected back to him telepathically.
::Whatever you wish.::
I shifted my weight to my right bare foot. “There’s somebody I’m interested in . . . but it’s kind of complicated.”
Her lips stretched into a small grin. “Love is always complicated, Nikki. What is this somebody like?”
Tall, dark, totally hot, and standing right behind me, I thought. However, I didn’t send that particular thought to Michael.
Instead, I shrugged. “He’s really cute, even though he tries to hide it. He can be annoying and stubborn but that’s just part of his charm. He’s protective and sweet and an amazing kisser, and when I’m around him I don’t want to be anywhere else.”
She looked very impressed by my description. “He sounds perfect to me.”
“The thing is,” I continued, “I’m not totally sure how he feels about me. Sometimes I get the feeling that he wants me to forget him, like, maybe his life would be easier if I wasn’t in it. And then other times I feel like he thinks he’s not good enough for me because we’re really different in a lot of ways. The guy is a serious mystery.”
“Well, that’s not perfect.” Elizabeth took my hands in hers. “Nikki, dear, don’t let anyone hold you back from getting what you want. Sometimes you have to trust your heart. Trust what that little voice inside is trying to tell you, even if it seems crazy.”
I let out a shaky breath. “It’s hard to do that.”
“I know it is. But that’s my philosophy, and I’ve held on to it, no matter what difficult choices I’ve had to make.”
“That’s great.”
She smiled. “Love is the most important thing in the universe. Like how I love Kieran and how I love my brother. Desmond should have lived for many more years to rule the Shadowlands, but when he asked me to take over for him, I knew I’d never turn my back on such an important duty. Even if it means sacrificing many things. I will make sure I’m a very good queen—for my brother’s sake.”
My eyes welled with tears. “You’ll make a great queen.”
She stroked my arm. “We should go see your father now.”
I nodded. “Okay.”
She glanced at Michael. “Would you please go to Desmond’s side and inform him that his daughter wishes to see him one last time?”
“Of course,” Michael said.
::Will you be all right, Princess?::
Yeah, I’ll be fine, I thought.
There was a hesitation. ::I don’t want you to forget me. I just wish there was another way this could work out.::
Our eyes met and held for a long moment, then he turned and left the room.
16
After Michael left, Elizabeth looked at me with concern as my eyes filled up with tears again. I didn’t think I’d cried so much in my entire life as I had over the last two days. “Oh, Nikki, my dear. So much stress at such a young age. Is it too much for you?”
“I’ll be fine,” I said shakily as I twisted my bracelet.
Elizabeth looked down at it. “That’s very beautiful.”
I looked down at it, too. “My father gave it to me. It’s a dragon’s tear. He told me it would help focus my Darkling powers.”
“A dragon’s tear? He told you that?”
I nodded.
Her expression grew tense. “I’m sorry, Nikki. The pain he is feeling must be making him delusional. There are no dragons—they are only a myth.” She looked thoughtful. “Our father used to tell us stories about dragons when we were young so perhaps that’s what Desmond is remembering. It’s a lovely bracelet, but that’s all it is.”
I studied the delicate chain and teardrop crystal and felt a stab of disappointment. “Really?”
“I’m afraid so.” She walked to the entrance of the room. “Now I must go get some fresh water for Desmond. It’s all he’s been able to consume for days. No wonder he’s so weak.” She shook her head sadly. “I’ll return to bring you to his room. Please wait here for me.”
She left and I was all alone. I crossed my arms and tried to relax but found that it was impossible. So instead I began to pace back and forth across the cool stone floor.
I couldn’t believe that nothing could be done for my father. This was the best he could ask for? Being stuck in this dreary castle as the last hours of his life ticked by? What about doctors? Or hospitals? But I supposed those were out of the question anyway, since he couldn’t leave. I still couldn’t fathom being trapped inside this place for all those years. Alone. At least he had Elizabeth to keep him company in these dark days.
I heard something then.
“Elizabeth?” an unfamiliar voice said. I looked around the room but there was no one there.
I heard it again. A deep voice calling out for my aunt. I walked toward the gazer and looked down at the shallow black water. I gasped when I saw a face looking up at me. The image of a man appeared on the surface of the water. It rippled when I clutched the sides of the basin.
He raised an eyebrow. “You’re not Elizabeth.”
I swallowed hard. “No.”
“Who are you?”
“I’m . . . I’m Nikki.”
Both of his dark eyebrows went up at that. “Ah, Princess Nikki. I’ve heard a great deal about you. It’s a pleasure to meet you, even if it’s not in person. My name is Kieran.”
It was Elizabeth’s boyfriend—the demon prince from the Underworld, though he was definitely in human form. He looked a lot like the male model on the front of my mom’s vampire romance book—dark hair, cool blue eyes, and strongly handsome features. He was so acutely good-looking that it seemed vaguely artificial, as if he were made of plastic—his eyes were so ice-blue that they gave me an immediate chill. His too-full lips curled to one side as he gazed up at me.
I looked toward the entrance of the room. “Elizabeth just left. But she was waiting for your . . . uh . . . your call. I’ll go get her.”
“No, Nikki. It’s fine. I will speak with her later. How is your father?”
I swallowed. “Not well.”
“But he still lives?”
I nodded.
“Elizabeth tells me that you were to drink a potion that the king provided to you. I will assume that you haven’t yet.”
I touched the bottle. “No, I haven’t.”
“Do you want to be queen of the Shadowlands?” he asked.
I shook my head. “Not if I can help it.”
“Then you have to drink it.”
There was that phrase again. Have to. Even somebody I didn’t know was telling me what to do.
I let out a shaky sigh. “I wanted to see my father again before I do anything.”
Something flashed behind his eyes and it wasn’t entirely pleasant. “You do realize that you’re putting Elizabeth’s position as the next queen at risk by delaying.”
“Look,” I said, sharper than I meant to, “this isn’t exactly easy for me, you know. And it’s not easy for Elizabeth, either. It’s not like she even wants to be queen.”
His eyes widened a fraction. “Of course she does. It’s all she speaks of and your actions—or rather inactions—are ruining everything for her.”
That was a very strange thing for him to say. I was ruining everything? “She’s accepted it, of course. It’s not like she has much of a choice, does she?”
“No, of course. You’re right. Please forgive me for being rude. The choice is yours alone, of course.” The edge of annoyance in his expression disappeared and his gaze slowly moved over my face and down my neck to the vial on the chain. “If by chance you do end up becoming queen, I want you to know that you can contact me anytime. For any reason at all. I would enjoy the chance to get to know a lovely girl like yourself on a much more personal level. I’m sure we could become very close friends.”
&nbs
p; The way he said it made me feel extremely uncomfortable. This was the man my aunt was head over heels in love with? He was a major sleaze. Really good-looking, but a jerk. I knew I’d just met him, but first impressions were enough to go by.
Besides, I’d already dealt with a good-looking jerk that evening—Chris—so I was a little more wary of this sort of thing now. I trusted my instincts. And my instincts told me Kieran wasn’t a nice guy.
“I’ll keep that in mind,” I said dryly.
“However, if Elizabeth does become queen of the Shadowlands, I would like to give her a little something special to . . . commemorate this event. Do you have any suggestions for me? Perhaps jewels, or furs. More obedient servants, perhaps?”
I really didn’t like this guy. At all.
“I know she likes the perfume you already gave her,” I said with distaste. “She even wears the bottle on a chain around her neck.”
“Perfume?” His frown deepened and confusion flashed across his expression. “I’ve never given her perfume before.”
“Maybe I heard her wrong.”
“No,” he replied quickly. “If Elizabeth said I gave her the perfume, then I certainly did. I give her many gifts and I have a tendency to forget some of them.”
He glanced over his shoulder at something I couldn’t see. When he turned back, he said, “I must go now, Princess Nikki. Please tell Elizabeth that I wish to speak with her at her earliest convenience.”
His image faded until there was nothing but shallow water in the basin.
Elizabeth had said that she received her perfume from her boyfriend. Had Kieran really forgotten? Maybe she had more than one boyfriend? She was a beautiful woman, so it was entirely possible. I hoped I hadn’t ruined anything by mentioning it to Kieran.
Then again, after my very short conversation with the handsome Kieran, I figured Elizabeth would be better off without him. I did not like the way he leered at me. I mean, the guy had to be at least thirty years old—and that was assuming that demons aged at the same rate humans did.
Creepy.
And what was all that about Elizabeth wanting to be queen? I mean, I understood that she’d accepted the inevitable, but the way Kieran said it, it sounded like she was actually looking forward to it. What was that all about?
I started to wonder what was taking Elizabeth so long, so I left the room to look for her, feeling uncomfortable being in the room with the gazer any longer. I headed along the hallway to the end where it turned to the right and kept following it until I saw Elizabeth go into a room up ahead. When I got to the doorway, I saw that she had a tray with a jug of water and a silver goblet. She poured a few drops from her small perfume bottle into the jug and then stirred the contents with a large silver-handled spoon.
“Elizabeth?” I said out loud.
She turned to look at me with wide eyes. “Nikki! You startled me.”
“Sorry.”
“I was about to come back for you.”
“What is that?” I asked, pointing at the jug. “I thought that was perfume you wore around your neck.”
She touched the blue bottle and I noticed her hand was shaking a little. “This . . . no, this is medicine. It’s to help with Desmond’s pain. A few drops will ease his suffering. My perfume is in another bottle.” She smiled. “They all look very similar, don’t they?”
I studied the vial skeptically. They did look similar. Really similar. “Could be Gatorade for all I know.”
She tilted her head to the side. “What is Gatorade?”
“It’s a drink. You can get it in the blue flavor if you want.”
She smiled. “The human world is a fascinating place, isn’t it?”
“Depends on the day, really.”
“Indeed.” She picked up the tray. “I’m ready. We can go see your father now if you wish.”
I swallowed. “Okay.”
She left the room. I followed her through the mazelike hallways. I braced myself to hear another cry of pain, but there was only silence.
I tried to remain calm and not overthink things, but my brief conversation with Kieran had deeply confused me. I had a hard time concentrating on anything else.
“I have never given her perfume before.”
It was probably nothing, of course. It was also probably nothing that Elizabeth’s perfume vial looked exactly the same as the container of my father’s pain meds. My aunt was a kind woman who was looking after her dying brother. She was sacrificing her freedom to become queen because she felt it was her duty. She didn’t even want to be queen. Who would want to be trapped in this castle without the opportunity of leaving?
But still. Something felt off to me.
“It’s all she speaks of.” Kieran’s words echoed in my mind.
“Desmond,” my aunt said as she entered my father’s room. Michael stood at the far side against the wall, silent. He looked at me and he smiled a little—just enough for me to see. “Nikki is here with me.”
“Yes,” a deep voice replied. “I sensed that she had returned.”
My father, in full demon form, lay on a huge canopied bed in the middle of the room. He raised his head a little to look at me and I saw his eyes flash red.
“Nikki.” His voice was weak. “You shouldn’t have returned. I didn’t want you to see me like this again. Please don’t be afraid.”
My heart clenched and I went directly to his side. This time, unlike last night when his demon form had taken me by surprise and scared me deeply, I could see him more clearly. He had coal black skin and a ridged forehead with large, curved horns protruding from his temples. His cheekbones and chin were sharp and angular. The tips of his ears came to a point and his eyes were catlike and glowed with dull red light in the dimness of the room.
The room was a bit different from the others I’d seen. While I could tell that it still had black stone walls and floors, it had a few more personal touches. Colorful draperies and beautifully detailed paintings covered the walls. The scenes depicted seemed to be those of my world: waterfalls, sunsets, and beautiful meadows. In a frame among the other paintings there was an oil painting of a smiling woman who looked remarkably like my mother. It was dim in there, lit by a few torches.
My father was covered by a blanket, but his large, heavily muscled bare arms lay on top. The skin looked leathery, similar to the wings that extended from his back, folded in on themselves so I could barely see them now. His hands were clenched over his stomach as if he expected to be racked with pain at any moment.
I wanted to tell him about my Darkling form. How I’d shifted completely and was still okay. How maybe I was the exception—that maybe I wasn’t at risk of dying early like the others had. But I still didn’t know for sure. I didn’t want to worry him or Elizabeth, so I held my tongue.
Elizabeth, who wanted to take the throne. According to her boyfriend, that is.
I reached out and put my hand on top of my father’s, and the skin did feel leathery, but smooth and warm. He looked up at me with surprise.
“I had to see you again,” I said.
“Why?” he asked hoarsely.
“Because you’re my father.”
His currently hairless brows drew together. “Nikki . . . you have to go home and be happy. Be with your mother. Take care of her for me. Please forget about all of this. It’s for the best.”
“Your father is right,” Elizabeth said.
Her voice made me tense.
I watched her warily as she put the tray on a bedside table and then poured water mixed with the medicine into the goblet and brought it to my father’s lips. “Drink this, Desmond. It will help.”
He did. I waited for her to mention the medicine, but she didn’t say a word. My father didn’t give any indication that he tasted anything other than water.
Did he know that there was pain medication in his water? She’d been taking care of him for a while, so I guessed it would be expected.
But why had she jumped when I caugh
t her mixing it into the water earlier? Why had her hand been shaking?
“Thank you,” he said when he was done. “I’m so lucky to have had you near me ever since this horrible illness began, Elizabeth.”
She stroked his forehead. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
“Elizabeth returned to the castle before you got sick?” I asked.
“Yes,” my father said. “I don’t know what I would have done without her.”
Elizabeth squeezed his hand. “I only wish I could ease your pain, brother.”
His attention returned to me and he looked at the vial I wore on the chain around my neck. “Why haven’t you drunk the potion yet? I thought it was what you wanted.”
“I wanted to see you again.”
He managed a very small smile at that. “Even when I’m stuck in this form?”
I nodded. His demon form was a fearsome thing, and at first glance anyone would assume that he was a monster, but I now knew that he wasn’t. As he’d said to me yesterday, he was the same man underneath, no matter what outer form he took. I had no doubt that my father was a good man, even though he was also a demon.
It sounded completely crazy, but I believed it.
I wasn’t afraid of him. I hadn’t known him for my entire life, but I knew at that moment that I loved him. I loved my father so much and I didn’t want him to die.
My eyes burned with tears. I’d seen him one last time. I’d done what I wanted. I’d shown him that I wasn’t afraid of him—I didn’t want the last time he saw me to have been last night when I screamed because I was afraid of how he looked.
Now the only thing I was afraid of was losing him before I got the chance to even get to know him.
I cleared my throat and looked around the room. “The pictures. Where did you get them?”
“I painted them myself. My memories of being in the human realm are still very vivid. I wanted to remember what I’d seen.”
“And the one of my mother?”
“I painted that one as well.” His eyes moved to it. “I can still see her when I close my eyes, as if I was with her only yesterday.”
Just then, his face convulsed and he clutched at his stomach. The veins and muscles in his neck bulged. He was in pain but wasn’t crying out this time. Was it because I was in the room next to him? Did he not want me to see how much agony he was in? Was he holding in the scream so it wouldn’t scare me? I felt like sobbing for him, for his pain, and for everything he was going through.