Logan parked in the lot rather than simply dropping them off. He helped get the luggage into the terminal and waited while they checked in. Then he hugged each child, Kayla and shook Ryan's hand.
"You take care of them for me," he told Ryan. "I'm going to keep in touch with you guys, too."
"Don't worry. We will. I look forward to hearing from you."
Logan understood what Ryan was saying and knew he could count on Kayla and Ryan. His unease at letting Saige leave dissipated. She had good support and had promised to get the help she needed. She had also promised to contact him if she found herself sinking and needed or wanted to talk with him.
Logan knelt in front of Tyce. "You be good and mind your mother. She's a special lady. You're a special young man, too." Tyce nodded and hugged Logan. "I'm going to FaceTime with you really soon so plan on telling me a whole lot of the stuff you do."
"Okay."
He turned to Amie. "Same goes for you. Be good and mind your mother. I'm going to want to know all about your dolls and what your princesses have done while you've been gone."
"Okay." Amie grabbed him around the neck. "I'm gonna miss you."
Logan swallowed the lump growing in his throat and held her tightly. "I'm gonna miss you, too."
Amie stepped back and moved to stand next to Brielle.
"We'll head on toward security and meet you there, Saige," Kayla said starting to herd the brood that direction.
Logan took Saige's hand and drew her out of the streaming crowd over to the wall. "Saige, this is much harder than I thought it would be. I'm going to be contacting much more often than I thought I might. I'm going to need to hear your voice even if I can't see you. I'll call you every day if I can. If not, I'll be sure to email. Please say you'll do the same." He hugged her to him. The lump in his throat had dropped into his chest as a heavy weight pressing on his heart.
"I'll wait for your calls. I think you're schedule will make that easier." Saige smiled at him. "But if you don't call or at least email me I might just call avenging angels down upon you."
Logan chuckled. "A very effective threat. I'll keep that in the forefront of my mind."
He looked at her for a long moment then lowered his head and kissed her long with as much passion as he dared. They were in the middle of an airport after all.
Logan pulled back and held her by the shoulders looking at her as if memorizing her face. "Go now. I'll talk to you soon."
Saige nodded, turned and walked away. She didn't look back and Logan couldn't decide whether he was disappointed or not. If she had he might not have been able to let her get on the plane.
CHAPTER 8
"Mommy, the star is crooked," Amie said. She was standing back looking at the Christmas tree they had just decorated. Saige stood on a ladder and reached out, straightening the tree topper to her five year old's satisfaction. It was the Friday after Thanksgiving.
This year wasn't as bad as last. That had been the first after Nolan had died. Each first had been terrible. The seconds were tough but not as rough.
Saige had been going to counseling since they'd gotten back from Antigua. She'd changed to a woman Christian counselor who had not only listened and gave advice but had spent time praying with her. Saige knew all of it helped, but she thought the revelation that she had placed Nolan as the center of her life instead of Christ was the first and biggest step in her healing.
Saige also didn't hold anything back. She told her counselor anything and everything. All her hopes and fears, her shining successes and her miserable failures, when she leaned on and followed the Lord and when she went her own way refusing to obey.
Through it all she felt herself getting closer and closer to her Lord. And she reveled in it. In the peace she felt but couldn't explain. Even with the loss of Nolan and the challenges of single parenting, Saige was happier than she had ever been.
Logan featured high in her list of positive things in her life. He emailed at least twice a day and called nearly every day. That presented a challenge when he was on the other side of the world.
Usually twice a week they would video chat. That was a highlight for the twins as well as for Saige. They would get more and more excited as the time for the computer to light up with his connection drew near. He spent time talking with each one about whatever they wanted to tell him. Saige marveled at how he could show interest in what was important to four, then five, year olds. Though he hadn't been able to attend their birthday party he'd sent gifts and they'd FaceTimed the day before.
If the timing worked out, Logan would do a second video chat after the twins went to sleep in the evening. This gave Saige and him time for private conversation. As she'd promised, Saige kept Logan up to date on her emotional progress. She was just as open with him as she was with her counselor. Not necessarily with as much detail, but if she was struggling she would email him to let him know. Often he would send a reply with a prayer that would make her weep with its sincerity and power. After reading it her spirit would be at peace and she'd give thanks for having been given such a caring Godly man.
Though Logan hadn't mentioned advancing their relationship, Saige hoped he wanted something more than the deep friendship they now had. She wouldn't push for it. She'd learned to be content in her single state. That was a big step for her. Saige had loved being married and missed the intimacy of it. Both the emotional and physical.
"Mommy? Can we take a selfie with the tree and send it to Logan. I think he'd like one." Tyce bounced on the balls of his feet. He was always in motion.
"Sure. Come on." The three of them positioned themselves in front of the tree and Saige used her iPad to take as good a photo as she could holding the tablet as far away as possible. It was at an angle but the twins were happy with it so they sent it off with a note saying, 'Wish you were here with us.'
Saige really did wish Logan was there. She hadn't seen him in person since leaving him at the airport in Antigua. It seemed so long ago. She supposed it was a long time. Especially for Tyce and Amie. Although the constant communication via the internet was good, it wasn't like seeing him in person and being able to give and receive hugs. Or kisses. The kiss he'd given her at the airport was burned in her memory.
Amie leaned against Saige as they sat on the floor looking at the twinkling lights on the tree. "Will Logan be here for Christmas? I miss him."
"I miss him, too. I'm not sure about Christmas. We haven't talked about it. I don't want to push him to be with us."
"Why not? Don't you love him and want him here? I do."
"Me, too," said Tyce. He was standing on his head with his feet in a chair.
"I do too but... well, it's a grown up thing. Logan and I are very good friends and are trying to see if we want to be more."
"Like boyfriend and girlfriend?" Tyce asked.
"Yes."
"Would you kiss then?"
Saige cleared her throat. She wondered how Tyce would react to her answer. "Yes."
"Yuck. Count me out on that."
She chuckled.
"Would you get married?" Amie asked. She looked up at her mother with wide eyes.
"Well, if we decided we wanted to be together always, then yes."
"Good. I hope that happens. Can I pray for that?" Amie worked her way onto Saige's lap.
"You can pray that if God wants Logan and me to get married then we would know that he wants us to. We want to do what God wants."
"Can I ask Logan to marry us?"
"No, sweetie. That's something I don't want you to talk about unless Logan brings it up. Marrying us is a really big responsibility for Logan and I don't want him to be pressured about it. Us marrying him would be, too. But the main thing is that Logan and I haven't talked about it at all so you guys don't mention it at all." She stressed the words 'at all' both times she said them.
"I'm hungry." Tyce's change of topic relieved Saige.
"Well, let's get a snack." The trio trooped into the kitchen
to find something to eat.
While they were sitting at the table eating banana pudding Sophie's iPad began to chime. She opened it and was delighted to see Logan was FaceTiming them. Quickly opening the app she smiled as Amie climbed into her lap and Tyce leaned against her side.
"Hi, guys. How was Thanksgiving?" Logan smiled and waved at them all. "Tyce, cool ninja t-shirt, Michelangelo right? Amie, is that dress Elsa's or Anna's? I can't keep them straight."
The children began to chatter away telling him all about going to spend the holiday at Aunt Kayla's and what they had taken. Then they described setting up and decorating the tree.
Saige just drank in the sight of Logan's smile. He was in a hotel room, which wasn't unusual. His consulting business took him all over the world and he lived from his suitcase for months at a time.
"Where are you?" Amie asked. They'd set up a world map on the bulletin board in her bedroom and put pins in every place he'd gone.
"Well, little lady, I'm in the US right now. I'm hoping to get invited someplace for Christmas since I don't have anywhere specific to be at that time."
"You can come here. Mommy, tell Logan he can have Christmas with us." Amie turned around and looked hopefully up into Saige's face.
"Yeah, Mommy. Say he can be here," Tyce chimed in.
Saige laughed. "Of course you're invited to come for Christmas. We'd love for you to join us."
"Well, I'll just do that. I'm pretty flexible as to the dates so don't be surprised if I show up early. Don't worry, I'll have a hotel room." Logan's eyes sparkled as he smiled at her.
"Hurray!" Tyce began running around the table.
"Hey, I need to go. I just got back into the country. I've got some stuff I have to do. Since time zones aren't an issue now I'll be sure to FaceTime you more often, and we can call a lot more."
"That'll be great," Saige said. "I miss you more than you know."
"Oh, honey. I know because it's as much as I miss you."
"Eeeew. They're getting mushy," Tyce began shouting as he jumped around.
"Quiet. Say bye to Logan."
Amie blew the man kisses and Tyce mimicked a high five. "See ya," he shouted. Saige covered her ears since the boy was right next to her.
"Call me later so you can tell me about your trip."
"Okay." Logan closed the connection.
"Where is he?" Amie asked. "I don't remember."
Saige opened her mouth to say then realized she didn't know. "He didn't say. Just that he was in the US. We'll have to ask next time we talk."
"Call him. I need to put a pin in the map for where he is." Amie stuck her bottom lip out in a pout.
"Not now. He said he had things to do."
"Do you suppose he's buying us Christmas presents?" Tyce's question had Amie's expression turn to smiling.
"Come on. We've got to get the decoration bins put away. Then we can get out a game to play."
They headed into the living room and cleaned up the boxes and bins that stored the decorations. Once that was done they got out the game Sorry and were playing when the doorbell rang.
Tyce jumped up followed by Amie and headed to answer the door. Saige climbed to her feet and trailed behind. She figured it would be a child selling something to raise money for some school project. Tyce pulled the door open and stood still in shock. Behind him Amie's mouth dropped open.
"Logan!" she hollered and ran past her brother and jumped into their surprise visitor's arms.
Saige stopped in her tracks, stunned. Then she smiled and raced forward. Tyce was now hugging Logan around the waist. Logan had Amie in a arm embrace with his other around Tyce. But his eyes were focused on Saige.
She wrapped her arms around all three leaning in to press her cheek against Logan's. They nearly lost their balance so she pulled back. "Come in. How did you? Where did you? Come in so we can stop heating the outdoors."
Once the door was shut and they were in the living room Logan shucked his coat and threw it over the back of the sofa. Then he grabbed Saige and embraced her and gave her a long ardent kiss. It's effect on her was instant and it took her a moment to remember two impressionable five year olds were avidly watching them. She broke the kiss but hugged Logan close for a moment.
"I can't believe you're here. Where are you staying?"
Logan named the hotel. "I've got the room booked until after New Year's. I decided I needed a break from travel. I can do most of my work for the month from there." Logan released her and flopped down on the sofa and held his arms out wide. The twins jumped onto the sofa and snuggled in next to him. Logan drew them close. "I needed to be here with my favorite people for the holidays."
"But you missed Thanksgiving." Amie climbed up to sit on his lap.
"I know and I hated that. There was a complication in Thailand that made me late or I would have been here Wednesday. That's why I decided to cancel all my travel for the next month. I didn't want to miss Christmas with you guys." He grabbed Tyce with an arm around his head and rubbed his knuckles over his scalp.
Saige's heart thumped. Nolan had done that same thing. Tyce loved it. Had loved to wrestle with his dad. It wasn't something she could do for her son. Ryan did when they were together, but the time was limited and Jordan and Eli were always involved.
The rest of the afternoon was spent with the twins showing Logan all around the house and yard. Amie helped her mother fix supper, at Saige's urging, while Logan and Tyce played football outside. Or rather Tyce ran after Logan who would fall down when the boy caught him as he yelled, "I tackle you." Saige had Tyce help her load the dishwasher so Amie could show Logan every one of her dolls, all their clothes, and her princess costumes.
Logan helped Tyce shower and Saige helped Amie. Once Amie was in her Elsa nightgown and Tyce in his Transformer pjs they, all four, climbed onto Tyce's bed. It was his night to have the book they were reading read in his room. The twins voted to have Logan read the two chapters allotted each evening. Saige was impressed with his expressive reading and the children laughed at the voices he used, bringing the characters to life.
Then prayers were said and each child was tucked in and kissed goodnight.
Logan followed Saige back to the living room and they sat together on the sofa. He wrapped his arms around her and sighed.
"You can't know how good it feels for me to finally be here. I've been planning this for about six weeks. Juggling my schedule. Taking red-eye flights so I could get to the next city and started on the next consult early. I've jammed about four weeks of work into two and a half. I'm exhausted. Happy and glad I did it, but exhausted."
"This may be a stupid question but why?"
Logan pulled back and looked at her. "Don't you want me here?"
Saige placed her hand on his cheek. "Of course I do. I was so surprised when Tyce opened the door and you were standing there. Wonderfully surprised. It took me a moment to realize it was you actually standing there."
Logan smiled, turned his head and kissed her palm. "I've missed you so much. Even though we communicate everyday it's just not enough. That's why I needed to cram so much into such a short time. I needed to get as much accomplished so I could take most of December off. I have plans." He leaned his forehead so it was touching hers.
"Plans?"
"Yes. Saige, I'm wanting to see if we can take this..." He twirled his finger around as if encompassing them. "To something past friendship. I want to see if we have any kind of a future. To do that I need to be here. We need to spend real time together, not just FaceTime."
Saige felt herself blush and her heart beat faster. "I'd like that, too." She paused and took his hand in hers. "I've been working on everything you asked of me all this year."
"I know. We've talked a lot about it."
"I want you to know how much better I am. I can think of Nolan and only be sad that we had such a short time together. That he won't be able to see Tyce play sports. Amie, too, but she's not very interested in sports yet.
He won't be around to dance with her or walk her down the aisle when she gets married. That's sad but not debilitating like it was before."
"You've come a long way since I pulled you out of the Caribbean."
Saige smiled as she reflected on the past year. "Yes, I have. I couldn't have done it without God's power and your encouragement. Don't get me wrong, Kayla and Ryan have been a big part of this. But you, Logan, were willing to not only pull me out of the water you, a stranger, invested your time and interest in me when I was at my lowest."
Logan stopped her from continuing to express her gratitude by kissing her. "Saige, let's not look back. Let's press forward toward the goal, as Paul says."
Saige relaxed against him laying her head on his chest. "Sounds good to me. I don't really want to go over it all again."
They sat in silence for a while. Saige realized Logan's breathing was getting heavy and regular. She sat up and shook him lightly. "Hey, you can't go to sleep. I know you're tired but you need to go back to your hotel."
Logan yawned and stretched. "Yeah. Like I said, I'm exhausted."
"You need me to call you a cab? Or are you safe to drive?"
"I can drive."
They rose from the sofa and Logan put on his coat. "Don't expect me to call you early in the morning. I'm sleeping in. Besides the exhaustion, I'm jet lagged."
"I won't let the twins bother you until you contact us. You get rested up. They'll wear you out."
Logan smiled. "They seemed excited to see me."
"Oh, that was real. They are excited to see you. You should see them bounce around waiting for your FaceTime call. I've had to give them time out to calm them down. They really do like you." Saige paused and looked at him. "Now, you get out of here and back to the hotel and sleep. We'll talk tomorrow."
She took him by the hand and led him to the door.
"Just one more and I'll go." Logan pulled her close.
"One more what?"
He demonstrated with one more kiss.
CHAPTER 9
Logan spent much of his time the next week with Saige and the twins. Everything was going so well. She seemed to be emotionally healthy and receptive to some sort of future between them. He wasn't satisfied with the ambiguity. He wanted a definite future and it included a wife and twins. On Friday he called and made an appointment with Ryan.