Chapter 24
Frank walked quietly into the house and put his briefcase in the study before going in search of his wife. The mantel clock over the fireplace in the parlour bonged eleven times and he winced, remembering the panicky messages on his Blackberry and kicking himself for not returning Cassie’s call.
He crept down the basement stairs to the family room where there was the sound of a movie playing. Over the dialogue he could hear the sound of Cassie sniffling and gulping.
He called from halfway down the stairs. “I’m home.”
Cassie turned to look over the back of the sofa. “So I see.” She blew her nose and got another tissue to blot her tears. In a deadly quiet voice she asked, “Where were you?”
Frank walked over to the armchair next to the sofa and sat stiffly on the front edge, steeling himself to take the lumps he deserved. “In the boardroom at work.”
“We have a boardroom here. And lots of whiteboard space you can use.” She gave him a stony glare as a line of tears began to track down her cheeks again.
“I’m sorry. I lost track of time.”
“That’s the fourth time in the last two weeks.”
“I know. I’m sorry.” Frank folded his hands. “Would you feel better if you yelled at me?”
Cassie stood and began to pace. After a moment she said, still with that deadly quiet voice, “I needed you home tonight, Frank. And you promised you’d be home no later than eight.”
Frank felt like sinking through the floor. “You’re right, I did.” Then he belatedly remembered to ask, “Is there anything else wrong? I mean, other than me being inconsiderate and forgetting to carry my phone with me?”
She sat down, perched on the edge of the coffee table, and asked, “Why would you possibly think that?”
Frank’s mouth went suddenly dry. After he swallowed nervously, he said, “Because if I had been merely late, it would have been just a lecture or a cold shoulder for a while. But you wouldn’t be looking scared the way you are.”
Cassie’s shoulders relaxed a bit. “I am so mad at you right now, Frank, and I’m so relieved you’re home, I don’t know whether to kiss you or kick you. I told myself that I could handle it but I really needed you here, and you weren’t, and I couldn’t get hold of you, and Carmen went to Toronto with her sister for some sort of Filipino dance festival, and Meghan and Gene are out of town for the weekend, and Anne and Henry weren’t home, and Caitlyn went to a movie with Hannah after the game, and it was too late to call Fiona and I didn’t want to bother Yiayia or Grandmére, and you weren’t home!” Her voice was raised as she finished. She looked up with tears running down her cheeks and blew her nose again.
Frank stood. “Do you need a hug?”
She stood. “I needed one hours ago, Frank.” She looked bleakly at him and blubbered, “And you weren’t here.”
Frank hung his head in shame. “I’m here now.” Then he held his arms wide.
Cassie wrapped her arms around his waist and clung for dear life. “It was awful, Frank. I know it was an overreaction but coming home to a quiet house… I jumped at every creak and every time the furnace kicked in. I put on a good movie but …”
“Can you tell me what happened?” Frank could feel Cassie’s tension draining as she soaked his shirt with her tears.
Cassie pushed back and got more tissues. Then she dragged Frank to the sofa and sat facing him to take his hands in hers. “There was a girls’ varsity basketball game after school today and both Hannah and Caitlyn are on the team. I had promised to drive people and stay to cheer them on.”
Frank said, “I remember you telling me. That’s why I thought I had some extra time to work on my current project.” He tried to show his apology in his face. “Dumb idea, I know. I’ll bring the work home next time.”
Cassie sighed and said, “It isn’t all right, Frank, because you can lose track of time too easily. If you have to work on a project after five do it here, please?”
Frank saw the hurt in Cassie’s eyes and said, very formally, “I promise. And I promise to get a holster for my Blackberry so you can get hold of me when you need to.”
Cassie said, “I’ll remind you to charge it, too.”
Frank gave a tentative smile. “That would be good.”
Cassie sat contemplating what to say while Frank waited. Finally she took a deep breath and began. “I was sitting in the stands at the game with the gang from school and we were all having a good time. The first half was pretty close. Riel has a better team but Hannah was the best athlete on the floor, so we were ahead by four when the half came to a close.”
“I got up to use the washroom and these two guys were following me, which I didn’t notice at the time but they were waiting for me when I came out. They blocked my way back to the gym and I felt trapped. They were just being jerks, like the guys at Rideau who thought that all they had to do was stand there looking macho and a girl would fall at their feet.” She gripped Frank’s hands very hard. “But it was the same feeling as being trapped in the hall at the apartment by Gord and I started to panic. One of the guys started to reach out to touch me and I told him that if he touched me I’d scream. He laughed, Frank, and poked my arm.”
“I tried to shrug it off and move past him, but his wing man wouldn’t let me by. He asked me my name and I told him ‘Mrs. Ellis’ and he laughed again and said, ‘No way.’ Then he reached out again for me and I slapped him.”
Cassie sat rigidly. “Fortunately, a teacher showed up in the hallway and Mike and Jon got there about the same time. The guy told me that it wasn’t a good idea to piss him off like that but he and his buddy walked away when they saw Mike and Jon coming to my rescue.”
“Did the teacher say anything to him?”
“No. I don’t think she saw me slap him or she would have had to intervene.”
“Did anyone else see what happened?”
“Just Jon. And he only saw me slapping the guy. But he and Mike stayed close for the rest of the game and made sure that I wasn’t alone until I drove away.”
Cassie shifted so she could snuggle into Frank. “I was okay until you were an hour late because there was a decent comedy special on TV. Then I saw a commercial for one of those cheesy vampire shows and the looks on the faces of the guys reminded me of the guy who tried to intimidate me. Then I remembered that he’d stood leaning against the wall on the opposite side of the gym and glared at me for the whole second half. I’d forgotten because the second half was pretty exciting. It came down to a last second block by Hannah to prevent Riel from tying the game and sending it to overtime.”
“But it was too quiet here, Frank, and I started to get spooked. I know that the guy wouldn’t know where to find me and I know we have a good alarm system and a pretty secure house but I couldn’t handle the quiet.”
Frank started to speak but Cassie put her finger on his lips. “For the last five months that I lived with Mum and Gord, I used to dread it when the floor creaked in the hall because Gord or one of his buddies would try my bedroom door. Gord used to have these poker parties and when Mum was too wasted she’d wake me up at two or three in the morning and get me to make them snacks and fetch their beer.” Cassie took a breath for courage. “They usually had some sort of porn movie on and when I got close to them, they’d feel me up or pinch my breasts or my bum. Towards the end they would hold my head so I’d have to watch what the actors were doing on the television. They would tell me about all the fun I was missing because they weren’t allowed to do anything more than cop a feel.”
Another line of tears began to flow. “It didn’t look like any fun at all, Frank. At least the movies Gord and Deion seemed to like. They were all about tying women up and slapping them around. The girls were all young and they all looked terrified. It didn’t seem anything like what was supposed to happen between a husband and wife. Mum always said it was better than good with the right man but I find that very hard to believe.”
Frank swallowed his comment a
nd Cassie said, “In my head I know that it would be different with you, but I’m scared that it won’t be. It’s one of the things that I’m working on.”
“Have you told the counsellor about the poker nights?”
“No. You’re the first person I’ve told.” Cassie saw a brief flash of thanks on Frank’s face. “I guess I trust you more than I thought. But until I can get over jumping at every creak and snap when the furnace comes on, I really need you home after dark. At least you don’t sneak around, like Gord and his buddies did.”
Frank murmured, “I’m really sorry, Cassie. I don’t have an excuse for not being here for you.”
She snuggled into him. “But you’re here now and I will hold you to your promise.”
Frank held her in thoughtful silence for a while then said a prayer aloud, repeating his promise and asking for God’s help to keep it. After another short silence he said, “I hope you can forgive me. Sometimes I forget that I’m part of us and that I can’t just please myself anymore.”
“Meghan said she has some of the same problems with Gene. He hasn’t been able to break the habit of getting buried in a project. He’s a research scientist so she’s had to adapt. On the other hand, he owns his company and makes sure that he takes extra days off to compensate.” Cassie looked pointedly at Frank. “And he probably calls her to let her know he’s on a roll. And she probably doesn’t freak out when it’s too quiet.”
“But you need me home?”
Cassie nodded against his chest. “I need you in the house. I understand that creativity doesn’t have a schedule but I need you to be at home.”
Frank said, with some trepidation, “I know it’s late but did you save me some supper?”
Cassie sat up and stared at him in disbelief. “It’s almost midnight. You haven’t eaten?”
Frank looked sheepish. “Um… no… I got distracted.”
Cassie’s face softened and she looked amused. “It must have been some brainstorm.” She stood up and dragged him off the sofa. “There’s some leftover tourtière I can reheat and some of that Cypriot summer salad you like so much.” She patted his belly. “But no peanut butter balls if you’re serious about not looking like a prosperous husband.”
Frank put on a pouty face. “Not even one? I do use the infinity pool, you know.”
Cassie stepped up to give him a kiss. “One. If you’re good.”
Frank said, “I really am sorry I wasn’t here for you tonight, Cassie. I know how much you need that from me, even if I haven’t internalized it quite yet.”
She sighed and said, “I forgive you. And I’m going to follow up with the folks at Riel to lodge a bullying complaint against those jerks, if I can get their names from someone. They need to get some awareness training.” She moved towards the stairs. “Well, are you actually hungry or were you just trying to distract me?”
Frank opened his mouth to answer but his stomach growled audibly. He snickered and they both laughed as they climbed the stairs.