That was a good question.
“I hadn’t gotten to that part of the plan yet,” I admitted.
“Right,” he stated, crossing his arms on his chest. “You do know that Tabby went behind Shy’s back and hired a private investigator to find the guy who murdered his parents.”
No. I didn’t know that. I didn’t even know Shy’s parents had been murdered.
How awful.
“That didn’t go down too good,” Joker continued to inform me.
Wonderful.
“Um… did the investigator find him?” I asked, curious for more than one reason, wondering if Tabby used Elvira’s boss.
“Yeah. And shit came to a head. They worked it out. But it was ugly.”
I pressed my lips together and felt my eyes go round.
Joker shook his head.
“Butterfly, you’re cute all the time, cuter some times more than others, and it’s fucked up because right now you’re bein’ a pain in the ass and this is one of those times that you’re cuter. But you gotta get this so you can get over it. My old man doesn’t exist for me. I left him and that life behind, and I don’t want it back in any way it can come back.”
“He burned you,” I whispered.
“Yeah, Carrie, he burned me. I took it. I survived it. I got outta that shit. And he’s there. I know where he is. The same house. The same broads he’s bangin’ on the couch. The same beer he’s guzzling, vodka he’s shootin’. An empty life full of bitterness and anger at absolutely nothing. Every day I walk into that Compound knowin’ I got my patch, which means I got my brothers. Every day I walk into the garage knowin’ I got nothing on for my day but usin’ my hands and brain to create things I like. And now, with you a part of my life, every day I got somethin’ more. Somethin’ he’d never get. Somethin’ he couldn’t hold on to. Somethin’ he doesn’t have it in him to earn. I don’t know if my ma was a good woman. I do know she left his ass and left him empty. That is not me. I got brothers. I got work I dig. And now, I got you and your boy. He lives a life of pain. I don’t. I don’t need to expend effort to get revenge, to give him pain. All I got that he doesn’t is my revenge, baby.”
That was so huge, so profound, so smart, so amazing, coming from a man who I was beginning to think really, truly had no flaws (at all), and he was mine, I couldn’t hold it back.
“I think I might be falling in love with you,” I blurted and watched his face change to an expression I would have rushed to my phone to capture if I wasn’t captivated by it, not wanting to miss an instant.
“Then quit thinkin’, Carrie, because I know I’m fallin’ for you.”
I stared at him a moment, feeling all that made me feel, before lifting my hand and waving it in front of my face, announcing, “I’m gonna cry.”
“Then for fuck’s sake, get over here so you can be in my arms while you do it.”
At that, I burst into tears.
When I did, not moving an inch because he came to me, I was in his arms.
I wrapped him in mine.
In the middle of it, I reared back and looked at his face through watery eyes, crying loudly, “I wish I had that flat tire. I’d bronze it!”
“Shut up, you fuckin’ goofball,” Joker returned, his body shaking, his voice vibrating with his humor, his arms tightening around me.
“Don’t call me a goofball,” I sniffled, pushing closer.
“Don’t act like one.”
“I’m not acting like a goofball,” I snapped. “I’m sharing with you I like you…” I got up on my toes to get in his face, “a lot.”
“You haven’t made that a secret.”
“Maybe I should start doing that,” I retorted, taking one arm from around him so I could swipe at my face.
“Butterfly, advice. Don’t start playin’ new games when you’re already winnin’ the one you’re in.”
That made me shut my mouth.
I know I’m fallin’ for you.
His words filled my head so full I couldn’t hold it up and therefore pressed my face in his chest.
“I don’t feel like cookin’,” he announced matter-of-factly, like we weren’t having a hugely important conversation, the kind that changed lives, the kind that changed the world. “You’ve been on your feet behind a register all day so you’re not cookin’, either. We’re goin’ to Beau Jo’s.”
Everything left my mind as my entire body filled with glee and I pulled my face out of his chest.
“Mountain pies?” I asked excitedly.
“Not goin’ there for their salad bar.”
I smiled at him and did it brightly.
Then I quit smiling and said quietly, “I, uh… have to change and get gussied up.”
“It’s pizza at Beau Jo’s, Carrie. Not a fancy steak joint like The Broker.”
“I also have to call Tyra and Elvira to get them off the case,” I admitted. “Tyra was there when Tack shut me down in my quest to claim vengeance against your dad. She didn’t agree with Tack and she wasted no time rallying the troops.”
He frowned. “This means Elvira’s ropin’ in Hawk.”
I bit my lip.
Just then his phone rang.
He held me even as he pulled it out of his pocket, looked at it, looked at me in a way I couldn’t decipher but it seemed kind of like he wanted to laugh.
Then he touched the screen and put it to his ear. “Yo, Hawk.”
My eyes went wide.
Joker glanced back to me but said into the phone, “Yeah, she got home, confessed to bein’ a goof, we talked it out. You’re off duty.”
There it was. The manly man’s code.
Elvira roped him in and Hawk wasted no time telling on me.
Joker paused, muttered, “Uh-huh.” Another pause before he said, “I’ll tell her.” One final pause before, “Yeah, later.” Then he shoved his phone back in his pocket and declared, “Gwen likes you. Had a good time helpin’ you move. We’re invited over for dinner with our only requirement being bringing Travis. Gwen will sort that shit direct with you.”
“That’ll be nice,” I said carefully. Then went on just as carefully, “Though, before we move on, I just wanted to point out I didn’t actually confess to being a goof.”
He just lifted his brows.
I let that go.
“And I’ll add that was uncanny in an eerie way, Hawk calling you right when we started talking about him.”
“Lee Nightingale is a supreme badass. Hawk’s a bona fide superhero who doesn’t wear a ridiculous suit. This is no joke. He probably sensed our discussion through powers he got when his mom was pushin’ him out and got struck by lightning or something. I don’t ask. He’s an ally. He’s also a brother of Tack’s. I’m just happy he isn’t an enemy.”
“I kinda wanna meet him now,” I shared.
“That’s good, seein’ as we’re goin’ to dinner at his pad.”
“Right,” I murmured.
“Speakin’ a’ dinner, as sweet as it is havin’ you in my arms, your man needs to get fed.”
My man.
I grinned.
He was so totally my boyfriend.
Carson Steele and Carissa Teodoro, boyfriend/girlfriend.
This made me happy.
We even had names that matched!
Joker watched me smile, watched me continue doing it without moving, so he shook me and said, “Dinner, Carrie.”
It was then it occurred to me I was the one who had to let him go and get my behind in gear.
And it occurred to me I had to do that because he didn’t want to let me go.
So that was when it occurred to me I hadn’t kissed my man since I got home from work.
Therefore, I rolled up on my toes in my Converse and did that.
He took over, as he was wont to do.
But I didn’t mind.
Then I got ready and my man took me out for a mountain pie.
* * *
In the dark, in my bed, I lay on top, s
traddling Joker’s naked body.
It wasn’t late. It wasn’t early. I had a belly full of mountain pie and a body that just sustained two remarkable orgasms. And I’d managed to get the last without causing Joker bodily injury.
I was feeling a strange feeling that was ecstatically happy in a peaceful way I didn’t quite understand. I’d never felt it.
But I had a feeling it was content.
Never having felt that feeling, I wouldn’t have said it was one of the more profound feelings in the myriad you could experience.
But it really, really was.
Slowly gliding my hands over his warm skin, my nose along his bristly jaw, my lips along his throat, Joker held me with one arm draped across my back, hand cupping my behind, his other hand was up in my hair, fiddling with it.
“Are you my man?” I whispered against the skin of his neck.
His hand at my bottom squeezed.
“Yep,” he replied easily.
Yes.
Ecstatically happy, but peaceful.
I slid my lips up to his ear. “Am I your woman?”
“Goes hand in hand, Butterfly.”
That settled in me, and instead of making me want to jump around and do back hand springs, it made me melt deeper into him, where I was supposed to be. “You make me happy,” I declared.
Like he wasn’t telling it to do so, his hand at my head yanked me closer to his face.
“Look at my life, Carson. Outside Travis, happy is hard. But honestly, I could be in my old apartment, paying through the nose for daycare for Travis, squirting generic ketchup on generic tater tots, but if I also had you, I’d be happy.”
“You need to shut up or you’re gonna get fucked, Carrie.”
“I…” I shook my head in confusion. “What?”
He took his hand from my hair, caught mine with it, shoved them between us and I pulled in a sharp breath when he wrapped my fingers around his hard cock.
“Keep bein’ sweet you’re gonna get fucked, not slow and gentle, hard. You’re tired, you wanna go to sleep, you gotta shut up.”
I wasn’t listening to him.
I was feeling him hard in my hand.
He was ready again.
Already!
Automatically (honestly, it felt so good, I couldn’t help myself), I stroked.
“Right, baby, you called it,” Joker growled before he moved.
Fast.
He was up, I was in his arms, then I was back to the bed.
“Gotta get my girl ready,” he muttered to himself, his fingers wrapping around my ankles and tugging them apart.
“Carson,” I breathed.
That’s all I got out.
He bent deep and his mouth was on me between my legs.
My entire body shuddered and he wasted no time getting me ready.
When I was so ready I thought it would run away with me, he pulled away, lifted me up, twisted me, planted me in the bed, and I was on my knees in the pillows, facing the headboard.
Joker was there but not with me for a few seconds before I felt his knee pushing mine further apart, and he went in from the front and back.
Finger to my clit, cock ramming deep.
My head fell back, slammed into his shoulder, and his hand wrapped around my jaw, twisting it toward him.
He took my mouth, worked me, and yes, fucked me.
I liked it like that. I couldn’t deny it. It was crazy good. Astounding.
So I came fast and got to glory in the feel, moving with him, pushing my hands back to grasp his hips and feel the power of them flexing as he kept ramming into me, mewing then gasping at each stroke until he came too.
He buried himself deep and dropped his forehead to my shoulder.
“Okay,” I panted, still not in control of my breathing. “If that’s the official going steady ceremony, tomorrow I’m expecting a promise ring. But warning, I’m breaking up with you tomorrow night so we can make up and decide to go steady again.”
Joker wrapped his arms around me, shoved his face in my neck, and still connected to me, burst out laughing, his amusement rocking through me in a way it became part of me and that was in a way I’d never forget.
Aaron had never done that. Aaron and I had never, ever had a moment like that. That simple. That remarkable. That memorable. That beautiful.
Joker’s laughter reduced to chuckles and he kissed my neck.
“To do list tomorrow, promise ring and stock up on condoms,” he muttered.
“I approve of this list,” I told him.
I could feel, actually feel, him smile against my skin.
I slid my hands along his arms and held him to me.
We stayed like that, naked, intimate, connected, and I wanted to shout my joy that he wanted that at the same time giving it to me.
So only when the time was right did he slide out gently, turn me in his arms, settle me back in bed, and kiss my temple before he pulled the covers up and said, “Be right back.”
“Okay, sweetie.”
That bought me a brief kiss on the lips before he did just what he said.
He was in bed beside me, gathering me close when he asked, “You want your panties?”
“Mm-hmm.”
Pure Joker, he twisted, reached to the floor and got them for me.
I pulled them on under the covers.
“Nightshirt?” he asked.
“It’s under the pillow.”
“Butterfly, just sayin’, you got a great body and that thing does nothin’ for it.”
“Well, it wouldn’t, it’s my preggers nightie.”
“It’s gotta go.”
I blinked through the dark as he again folded me in his arms.
“Travis isn’t in your belly, Carrie. You’re a mom, but you’re also a beautiful woman with a beautiful body and a man in her bed who appreciates both. Lose it.”
“I, well…” I mentally inventoried my drawers and wondered if my pre-baby nighties would look good. I hadn’t tried them. Not one. They were cute and some were cute/sexy so I had no reason to try them.
Until now.
“Okay,” I finished.
“Now, you good with just panties?”
I felt his hard body tight against mine, his arms pulling me mostly on him, and I rested against his chest as I pressed my arms to his sides and my cheek to his shoulder.
“Yeah,” I murmured. “I’m good with just panties.”
To show his approval, he dipped his hand inside said panties and again cupped my bottom.
I sighed.
My body was loosening, my eyes drooping, when Joker called, “Carrie?”
“Yeah, sweetheart?”
“Means everything, fuckin’ everything, you’d want to pull out all the stops to take on my dad for me. Got men who wear a cut who’d do that for me. Some people from back in the day. And you. That’s it. And you gotta know, it means everything.”
I closed my eyes tight, turned my head, pressed my lips against the base of his throat and said there, “Good.”
“Still don’t want you doin’ dick.”
I grinned and settled back, cheek to shoulder. “I won’t.”
“Good,” he muttered, giving my behind a squeeze.
“Though, if I ever see your dad, even though I have no idea what he looks like, I won’t be responsible for sending him a killing look.”
There was a smile in his voice when he returned, “That you can do.”
“And if he should later turn up with his car keyed, I’ll say now, it wasn’t me.”
His body shook, I gloried in it, though his humor had no noise.
But the smile was deep in his voice when he ordered, “Shut up and go to sleep.”
“Just to say, I’m going to do that but only because I was going to do that anyway.”
“If you were, why aren’t you shuttin’ up?”
“I was just saying it just to say.”
“You’re still not shuttin’ up.”
&nbs
p; “Whatever,” I muttered.
“And still,” he pointed out.
I lifted my head and snapped, “Joker!”
He caught me at the back of my head, pulled me in, lifted up, and gave me a hard, sweet, short kiss.
Then he tucked my cheek back to his shoulder, my forehead in the side of his neck, and said, “Now shut up and go to sleep.”
I grinned at his throat.
Then I shut up, closed my eyes, and went to sleep.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
End of Story
Carissa
WITH AN INSTINCT born in me the second Aaron’s swimmers fertilized my egg, that next Monday, I knew my son was on his way to the front door without me even seeing him through the window.
Thus, after a week that included me getting myself and my boy into a great new house, only one double shift since LeLane’s flu epidemic was settling down, and a whole lot of time spent with my awesome new boyfriend, I was lounging (more like fidgeting with anticipation) while Joker hung out with me on my couch.
So, with excitement at what would herald an even better week—that being having my son back—I pushed up, planted a knee, and threw myself over Joker and the back of the couch.
Unfortunately, when I did this I heard Joker grunt. This gave me the uncomfortable feeling I’d planted said knee somewhere in Joker. Therefore, when my bare feet hit the floor at the back of the couch, I stopped my mad dash and looked at him.
“Jesus, Carrie,” he muttered, pushing up while looking at me, lips quirking, one hand to his stomach.
“Sorry,” I whispered, then grinned, “Travis is home.”
I got a return grin that said more than his lips quirking that he wasn’t angry with me, so I bent in, grabbed his head on either side, gave him a quick kiss, let him go, and ran to the door.
The bell rang right when I got to it.
I unlocked it and pulled it open.
And there was Aaron, not Tory, holding Travis in his arm, his diaper bag looped on Aaron’s shoulder.
Aaron stood tall, as usual, but he’d taken off his suit and was in jeans and a nice shirt that was pink and worked well with his coloring.
I saw this but mostly I saw my baby.
Lifting up my hands, I clapped them quietly in front of me, smiling at my son.
Then I held my hands out to him. “Hey, Googly. Welcome to your new home.”