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  CHAPTER SEVENTH.

  _Bardolph._--The sheriff, with a monstrous watch, is at the door. Henry IV. _First Part._

  I found out with some difficulty the apartment which was destined for myaccommodation; and having secured myself the necessary good-will andattention from my uncle's domestics, by using the means they were mostcapable of comprehending, I secluded myself there for the remainder ofthe evening, conjecturing, from the fair way in which I had left my newrelatives, as well as from the distant noise which continued to echo fromthe stone-hall (as their banqueting-room was called), that they were notlikely to be fitting company for a sober man.

  "What could my father mean by sending me to be an inmate in this strangefamily?" was my first and most natural reflection. My uncle, it wasplain, received me as one who was to make some stay with him, and hisrude hospitality rendered him as indifferent as King Hal to the number ofthose who fed at his cost. But it was plain my presence or absence wouldbe of as little importance in his eyes as that of one of his blue-coatedserving-men. My cousins were mere cubs, in whose company I might, if Iliked it, unlearn whatever decent manners, or elegant accomplishments, Ihad acquired, but where I could attain no information beyond whatregarded worming dogs, rowelling horses, and following foxes. I couldonly imagine one reason, which was probably the true one. My fatherconsidered the life which was led at Osbaldistone Hall as the natural andinevitable pursuits of all country gentlemen, and he was desirous, bygiving me an opportunity of seeing that with which he knew I should bedisgusted, to reconcile me, if possible, to take an active share in hisown business. In the meantime, he would take Rashleigh Osbaldistone intothe counting-house. But he had an hundred modes of providing for him, andthat advantageously, whenever he chose to get rid of him. So that,although I did feel a certain qualm of conscience at having been themeans of introducing Rashleigh, being such as he was described by MissVernon, into my father's business--perhaps into his confidence--I subduedit by the reflection that my father was complete master of his ownaffairs--a man not to be imposed upon, or influenced by any one--and thatall I knew to the young gentleman's prejudice was through the medium of asingular and giddy girl, whose communications were made with aninjudicious frankness, which might warrant me in supposing herconclusions had been hastily or inaccurately formed. Then my mindnaturally turned to Miss Vernon herself; her extreme beauty; her verypeculiar situation, relying solely upon her reflections, and her ownspirit, for guidance and protection; and her whole character offeringthat variety and spirit which piques our curiosity, and engages ourattention in spite of ourselves. I had sense enough to consider theneighbourhood of this singular young lady, and the chance of our beingthrown into very close and frequent intercourse, as adding to thedangers, while it relieved the dulness, of Osbaldistone Hall; but I couldnot, with the fullest exertion of my prudence, prevail upon myself toregret excessively this new and particular hazard to which I was to beexposed. This scruple I also settled as young men settle mostdifficulties of the kind--I would be very cautious, always on my guard,consider Miss Vernon rather as a companion than an intimate; and allwould do well enough. With these reflections I fell asleep, Miss Vernon,of course, forming the last subject of my contemplation.

  Whether I dreamed of her or not, I cannot satisfy you, for I was tiredand slept soundly. But she was the first person I thought of in themorning, when waked at dawn by the cheerful notes of the hunting horn. Tostart up, and direct my horse to be saddled, was my first movement; andin a few minutes I was in the court-yard, where men, dogs, and horses,were in full preparation. My uncle, who, perhaps, was not entitled toexpect a very alert sportsman in his nephew, bred as he had been inforeign parts, seemed rather surprised to see me, and I thought hismorning salutation wanted something of the hearty and hospitable tonewhich distinguished his first welcome. "Art there, lad?--ay, youth's ayerathe--but look to thysell--mind the old song, lad--

  He that gallops his horse on Blackstone edge May chance to catch a fall."

  I believe there are few young men, and those very sturdy moralists, whowould not rather be taxed with some moral peccadillo than with want ofknowledge in horsemanship. As I was by no means deficient either in skillor courage, I resented my uncle's insinuation accordingly, and assuredhim he would find me up with the hounds.

  "I doubtna, lad," was his reply; "thou'rt a rank rider, I'se warrantthee--but take heed. Thy father sent thee here to me to be bitted, and Idoubt I must ride thee on the curb, or we'll hae some one to ride thee onthe halter, if I takena the better heed."

  As this speech was totally unintelligible to me--as, besides, it did notseem to be delivered for my use, or benefit, but was spoken as it wereaside, and as if expressing aloud something which was passing through themind of my much-honoured uncle, I concluded it must either refer to mydesertion of the bottle on the preceding evening, or that my uncle'smorning hours being a little discomposed by the revels of the nightbefore, his temper had suffered in proportion. I only made the passingreflection, that if he played the ungracious landlord, I would remain theshorter while his guest, and then hastened to salute Miss Vernon, whoadvanced cordially to meet me. Some show of greeting also passed betweenmy cousins and me; but as I saw them maliciously bent upon criticising mydress and accoutrements, from the cap to the stirrup-irons, and sneeringat whatever had a new or foreign appearance, I exempted myself from thetask of paying them much attention; and assuming, in requital of theirgrins and whispers, an air of the utmost indifference and contempt, Iattached myself to Miss Vernon, as the only person in the party whom Icould regard as a suitable companion. By her side, therefore, we salliedforth to the destined cover, which was a dingle or copse on the side ofan extensive common. As we rode thither, I observed to Diana, "that I didnot see my cousin Rashleigh in the field;" to which she replied,--"Ono--he's a mighty hunter, but it's after the fashion of Nimrod, and hisgame is man."

  The dogs now brushed into the cover, with the appropriate encouragementfrom the hunters--all was business, bustle, and activity. My cousins weresoon too much interested in the business of the morning to take anyfurther notice of me, unless that I overheard Dickon the horse-jockeywhisper to Wilfred the fool--"Look thou, an our French cousin be nat offa' first burst."

  To which Wilfred answered, "Like enow, for he has a queer outlandishbinding on's castor."

  Thorncliff, however, who in his rude way seemed not absolutely insensibleto the beauty of his kinswoman, appeared determined to keep us companymore closely than his brothers,--perhaps to watch what passed betwixtMiss Vernon and me--perhaps to enjoy my expected mishaps in the chase. Inthe last particular he was disappointed. After beating in vain for thegreater part of the morning, a fox was at length found, who led us achase of two hours, in the course of which, notwithstanding theill-omened French binding upon my hat, I sustained my character as ahorseman to the admiration of my uncle and Miss Vernon, and the secretdisappointment of those who expected me to disgrace it. Reynard, however,proved too wily for his pursuers, and the hounds were at fault. I couldat this time observe in Miss Vernon's manner an impatience of the closeattendance which we received from Thorncliff Osbaldistone; and, as thatactive-spirited young lady never hesitated at taking the readiest meansto gratify any wish of the moment, she said to him, in a tone ofreproach--"I wonder, Thornie, what keeps you dangling at my horse'scrupper all this morning, when you know the earths above Woolverton-millare not stopt."

  "I know no such an thing then, Miss Die, for the miller swore himself asblack as night, that he stopt them at twelve o'clock midnight that was."

  "O fie upon you, Thornie! would you trust to a miller's word?--and theseearths, too, where we lost the fox three times this season! and you onyour grey mare, that can gallop there and back in ten minutes!"

  "Well, Miss Die, I'se go to Woolverton then, and if the earths are notstopt, I'se raddle Dick the miller's bones for him."

  "Do, my dear Thornie; horsewhip the rascal to purpose--via-
-fly away, andabout it;"--Thorncliff went off at the gallop--"or get horsewhiptyourself, which will serve my purpose just as well.--I must teach themall discipline and obedience to the word of command. I am raising aregiment, you must know. Thornie shall be my sergeant-major, Dickon myriding-master, and Wilfred, with his deep dub-a-dub tones, that speak butthree syllables at a time, my kettle-drummer."

  "And Rashleigh?"

  "Rashleigh shall be my scout-master." "And will you find no employmentfor me, most lovely colonel?"

  "You shall have the choice of being pay-master, or plunder-master, to thecorps. But see how the dogs puzzle about there. Come, Mr. Frank, thescent's cold; they won't recover it there this while; follow me, I have aview to show you."

  And in fact, she cantered up to the top of a gentle hill, commanding anextensive prospect. Casting her eyes around, to see that no one was nearus, she drew up her horse beneath a few birch-trees, which screened usfrom the rest of the hunting-field--"Do you see yon peaked, brown, heathyhill, having something like a whitish speck upon the side?"

  "Terminating that long ridge of broken moorish uplands?--I see itdistinctly."

  "That whitish speck is a rock called Hawkesmore-crag, and Hawkesmore-cragis in Scotland."

  "Indeed! I did not think we had been so near Scotland."

  "It is so, I assure you, and your horse will carry you there in twohours."

  "I shall hardly give him the trouble; why, the distance must be eighteenmiles as the crow flies."

  "You may have my mare, if you think her less blown--I say, that in twohours you may be in Scotland."

  "And I say, that I have so little desire to be there, that if my horse'shead were over the Border, I would not give his tail the trouble offollowing. What should I do in Scotland?"

  "Provide for your safety, if I must speak plainly. Do you understand menow, Mr. Frank?"

  "Not a whit; you are more and more oracular."

  "Then, on my word, you either mistrust me most unjustly, and are a betterdissembler than Rashleigh Osbaldistone himself, or you know nothing ofwhat is imputed to you; and then no wonder you stare at me in that gravemanner, which I can scarce see without laughing."

  "Upon my word of honour, Miss Vernon," said I, with an impatient feelingof her childish disposition to mirth, "I have not the most distantconception of what you mean. I am happy to afford you any subject ofamusement, but I am quite ignorant in what it consists."

  "Nay, there's no sound jest after all," said the young lady, composingherself; "only one looks so very ridiculous when he is fairly perplexed.But the matter is serious enough. Do you know one Moray, or Morris, orsome such name?"

  "Not that I can at present recollect."

  "Think a moment. Did you not lately travel with somebody of such a name?"

  "The only man with whom I travelled for any length of time was a fellowwhose soul seemed to lie in his portmanteau."

  "Then it was like the soul of the licentiate Pedro Garcias, which layamong the ducats in his leathern purse. That man has been robbed, and hehas lodged an information against you, as connected with the violencedone to him."

  "You jest, Miss Vernon!"

  "I do not, I assure you--the thing is an absolute fact."

  "And do you," said I, with strong indignation, which I did not attempt tosuppress, "do you suppose me capable of meriting such a charge?"

  "You would call me out for it, I suppose, had I the advantage of being aman--You may do so as it is, if you like it--I can shoot flying, as wellas leap a five-barred gate."

  "And are colonel of a regiment of horse besides," replied I, reflectinghow idle it was to be angry with her--"But do explain the present jest tome."

  "There's no jest whatever," said Diana; "you are accused of robbing thisman, and my uncle believes it as well as I did."

  "Upon my honour, I am greatly obliged to my friends for their goodopinion!"

  "Now do not, if you can help it, snort, and stare, and snuff the wind,and look so exceedingly like a startled horse--There's no such offence asyou suppose--you are not charged with any petty larceny or vulgarfelony--by no means. This fellow was carrying money from Government, bothspecie and bills, to pay the troops in the north; and it is said he hasbeen also robbed of some despatches of great consequence."

  "And so it is high treason, then, and not simple robbery, of which I amaccused!"

  "Certainly--which, you know, has been in all ages accounted the crime ofa gentleman. You will find plenty in this country, and one not far fromyour elbow, who think it a merit to distress the Hanoverian government byevery means possible."

  "Neither my politics nor my morals, Miss Vernon, are of a description soaccommodating."

  "I really begin to believe that you are a Presbyterian and Hanoverian ingood earnest. But what do you propose to do?"

  "Instantly to refute this atrocious calumny.--Before whom," I asked, "wasthis extraordinary accusation laid."

  "Before old Squire Inglewood, who had sufficient unwillingness to receiveit. He sent tidings to my uncle, I suppose, that he might smuggle youaway into Scotland, out of reach of the warrant. But my uncle is sensiblethat his religion and old predilections render him obnoxious toGovernment, and that, were he caught playing booty, he would be disarmed,and probably dismounted (which would be the worse evil of the two), as aJacobite, papist, and suspected person."*

  * On occasions of public alarm, in the beginning of the eighteenthcentury, the horses of the Catholics were often seized upon, as they werealways supposed to be on the eve of rising in rebellion.

  "I can conceive that, sooner than lose his hunters, he would give up hisnephew."

  "His nephew, nieces, sons--daughters, if he had them, and wholegeneration," said Diana;--"therefore trust not to him, even for a singlemoment, but make the best of your way before they can serve the warrant."

  "That I shall certainly do; but it shall be to the house of this SquireInglewood--Which way does it lie?"

  "About five miles off, in the low ground, behind yonder plantations--youmay see the tower of the clock-house."

  "I will be there in a few minutes," said I, putting my horse in motion.

  "And I will go with you, and show you the way," said Diana, putting herpalfrey also to the trot.

  "Do not think of it, Miss Vernon," I replied. "It is not--permit me thefreedom of a friend--it is not proper, scarcely even delicate, in you togo with me on such an errand as I am now upon."

  "I understand your meaning," said Miss Vernon, a slight blush crossingher haughty brow;--"it is plainly spoken;" and after a moment's pause sheadded, "and I believe kindly meant."

  "It is indeed, Miss Vernon. Can you think me insensible of the interestyou show me, or ungrateful for it?" said I, with even more earnestnessthan I could have wished to express. "Yours is meant for true kindness,shown best at the hour of need. But I must not, for your own sake--forthe chance of misconstruction--suffer you to pursue the dictates of yourgenerosity; this is so public an occasion--it is almost like venturinginto an open court of justice."

  "And if it were not almost, but altogether entering into an open court ofjustice, do you think I would not go there if I thought it right, andwished to protect a friend? You have no one to stand by you--you are astranger; and here, in the outskirts of the kingdom, country justices doodd things. My uncle has no desire to embroil himself in your affair;Rashleigh is absent, and were he here, there is no knowing which side hemight take; the rest are all more stupid and brutal one than another. Iwill go with you, and I do not fear being able to serve you. I am no finelady, to be terrified to death with law-books, hard words, or big wigs."

  "But my dear Miss Vernon"--

  "But my dear Mr. Francis, be patient and quiet, and let me take my ownway; for when I take the bit between my teeth, there is no bridle willstop me."

  Flattered with the interest so lovely a creature seemed to take in myfate, yet vexed at the ridiculous appearance I should make, by carrying agirl of eighteen along with me as an advocate, and
seriously concernedfor the misconstruction to which her motives might be exposed, Iendeavoured to combat her resolution to accompany me to SquireInglewood's. The self-willed girl told me roundly, that my dissuasionswere absolutely in vain; that she was a true Vernon, whom noconsideration, not even that of being able to do but little to assisthim, should induce to abandon a friend in distress; and that all I couldsay on the subject might be very well for pretty, well-educated,well-behaved misses from a town boarding-school, but did not apply toher, who was accustomed to mind nobody's opinion but her own.

  While she spoke thus, we were advancing hastily towards Inglewood Place,while, as if to divert me from the task of further remonstrance, she drewa ludicrous picture of the magistrate and his clerk.--Inglewoodwas--according to her description--a white-washed Jacobite; that is, onewho, having been long a non-juror, like most of the other gentlemen of thecountry, had lately qualified himself to act as a justice, by taking theoaths to Government. "He had done so," she said, "in compliance with theurgent request of most of his brother squires, who saw, with regret, thatthe palladium of silvan sport, the game-laws, were likely to fall intodisuse for want of a magistrate who would enforce them; the nearestacting justice being the Mayor of Newcastle, and he, as being ratherinclined to the consumption of the game when properly dressed, than toits preservation when alive, was more partial, of course, to the cause ofthe poacher than of the sportsman. Resolving, therefore, that it wasexpedient some one of their number should sacrifice the scruples ofJacobitical loyalty to the good of the community, the Northumbriancountry gentlemen imposed the duty on Inglewood, who, being very inert inmost of his feelings and sentiments, might, they thought, comply with anypolitical creed without much repugnance. Having thus procured the body ofjustice, they proceeded," continued Miss Vernon, "to attach to it aclerk, by way of soul, to direct and animate its movements. Accordinglythey got a sharp Newcastle attorney, called Jobson, who, to vary mymetaphor, finds it a good thing enough to retail justice at the sign ofSquire Inglewood, and, as his own emoluments depend on the quantity ofbusiness which he transacts, he hooks in his principal for a great dealmore employment in the justice line than the honest squire had everbargained for; so that no apple-wife within the circuit of ten miles cansettle her account with a costermonger without an audience of thereluctant Justice and his alert clerk, Mr. Joseph Jobson. But the mostridiculous scenes occur when affairs come before him, like our businessof to-day, having any colouring of politics. Mr. Joseph Jobson (forwhich, no doubt, he has his own very sufficient reasons) is a prodigiouszealot for the Protestant religion, and a great friend to the presentestablishment in church and state. Now, his principal, retaining a sortof instinctive attachment to the opinions which he professed openly untilhe relaxed his political creed with the patriotic view of enforcing thelaw against unauthorized destroyers of black-game, grouse, partridges,and hares, is peculiarly embarrassed when the zeal of his assistantinvolves him in judicial proceedings connected with his earlier faith;and, instead of seconding his zeal, he seldom fails to oppose to it adouble dose of indolence and lack of exertion. And this inactivity doesnot by any means arise from actual stupidity. On the contrary, for onewhose principal delight is in eating and drinking, he is an alert,joyous, and lively old soul, which makes his assumed dulness the morediverting. So you may see Jobson on such occasions, like a bit of abroken down blood-tit condemned to drag an overloaded cart, puffing,strutting, and spluttering, to get the Justice put in motion, while,though the wheels groan, creak, and revolve slowly, the great andpreponderating weight of the vehicle fairly frustrates the efforts of thewilling quadruped, and prevents its being brought into a state of actualprogression. Nay more, the unfortunate pony, I understand, has been heardto complain that this same car of justice, which he finds it so hard toput in motion on some occasions, can on others run fast enough down hillof its own accord, dragging his reluctant self backwards along with it,when anything can be done of service to Squire Inglewood's quondamfriends. And then Mr. Jobson talks big about reporting his principal tothe Secretary of State for the Home Department, if it were not for hisparticular regard and friendship for Mr. Inglewood and his family."

  As Miss Vernon concluded this whimsical description, we found ourselvesin front of Inglewood Place, a handsome, though old-fashioned building,which showed the consequence of the family.