CHAPTER EIGHTH.
"Sir," quoth the Lawyer, "not to flatter ye, You have as good and fair a battery As heart could wish, and need not shame The proudest man alive to claim." Butler.
Our horses were taken by a servant in Sir Hildebrand's livery, whom wefound in the court-yard, and we entered the house. In the entrance-hall Iwas somewhat surprised, and my fair companion still more so, when we metRashleigh Osbaldistone, who could not help showing equal wonder at ourrencontre.
"Rashleigh," said Miss Vernon, without giving him time to ask anyquestion, "you have heard of Mr. Francis Osbaldistone's affair, and youhave been talking to the Justice about it?"
"Certainly," said Rashleigh, composedly--"it has been my business here.--I have been endeavouring," he said, with a bow to me, "to render mycousin what service I can. But I am sorry to meet him here."
"As a friend and relation, Mr. Osbaldistone, you ought to have been sorryto have met me anywhere else, at a time when the charge of my reputationrequired me to be on this spot as soon as possible."
"True; but judging from what my father said, I should have supposed ashort retreat into Scotland--just till matters should be smoothed over ina quiet way"--
I answered with warmth, "That I had no prudential measures to observe,and desired to have nothing smoothed over;--on the contrary, I was cometo inquire into a rascally calumny, which I was determined to probe tothe bottom."
"Mr. Francis Osbaldistone is an innocent man, Rashleigh," said MissVernon, "and he demands an investigation of the charge against him, and Iintend to support him in it."
"You do, my pretty cousin?--I should think, now, Mr. Francis Osbaldistonewas likely to be as effectually, and rather more delicately, supported bymy presence than by yours."
"Oh, certainly; but two heads are better than one, you know."
"Especially such a head as yours, my pretty Die," advancing and takingher hand with a familiar fondness, which made me think him fifty timesuglier than nature had made him. She led him, however, a few steps aside;they conversed in an under voice, and she appeared to insist upon somerequest which he was unwilling or unable to comply with. I never saw sostrong a contrast betwixt the expression of two faces. Miss Vernon's,from being earnest, became angry; her eyes and cheeks became moreanimated, her colour mounted, she clenched her little hand, and stampingon the ground with her tiny foot, seemed to listen with a mixture ofcontempt and indignation to the apologies, which, from his look of civildeference, his composed and respectful smile, his body rather drawingback than advanced, and other signs of look and person, I concluded himto be pouring out at her feet. At length she flung away from him, with "I_will_ have it so."
"It is not in my power--there is no possibility of it.--Would you thinkit, Mr. Osbaldistone?" said he, addressing me--
"You are not mad?" said she, interrupting him.
"Would you think it?" said he, without attending to her hint--"MissVernon insists, not only that I know your innocence (of which, indeed, itis impossible for any one to be more convinced), but that I must also beacquainted with the real perpetrators of the outrage on this fellow--ifindeed such an outrage has been committed. Is this reasonable, Mr.Osbaldistone?"
"I will not allow any appeal to Mr. Osbaldistone, Rashleigh," said theyoung lady; "he does not know, as I do, the incredible extent andaccuracy of your information on all points."
"As I am a gentleman, you do me more honour than I deserve."
"Justice, Rashleigh--only justice:--and it is only justice which I expectat your hands."
"You are a tyrant, Diana," he answered, with a sort of sigh--"acapricious tyrant, and rule your friends with a rod of iron. Still,however, it shall be as you desire. But you ought not to be here--youknow you ought not;--you must return with me."
Then turning from Diana, who seemed to stand undecided, he came up to mein the most friendly manner, and said, "Do not doubt my interest in whatregards you, Mr. Osbaldistone. If I leave you just at this moment, it isonly to act for your advantage. But you must use your influence with yourcousin to return; her presence cannot serve you, and must prejudiceherself."
"I assure you, sir," I replied, "you cannot be more convinced of thisthan I; I have urged Miss Vernon's return as anxiously as she wouldpermit me to do."
"I have thought on it," said Miss Vernon after a pause, "and I will notgo till I see you safe out of the hands of the Philistines. CousinRashleigh, I dare say, means well; but he and I know each other well.Rashleigh, I will not go;--I know," she added, in a more soothing tone,"my being here will give you more motive for speed and exertion."
"Stay then, rash, obstinate girl," said Rashleigh; "you know but too wellto whom you trust;" and hastening out of the hall, we heard his horse'sfeet a minute afterwards in rapid motion.
"Thank Heaven he is gone!" said Diana. "And now let us seek out theJustice."
"Had we not better call a servant?"
"Oh, by no means; I know the way to his den--we must burst on himsuddenly--follow me."
I did follow her accordingly, as she tripped up a few gloomy steps,traversed a twilight passage, and entered a sort of ante-room, hung roundwith old maps, architectural elevations, and genealogical trees. A pairof folding-doors opened from this into Mr. Inglewood's sitting apartment,from which was heard the fag-end of an old ditty, chanted by a voicewhich had been in its day fit for a jolly bottle-song.
"O, in Skipton-in-Craven Is never a haven, But many a day foul weather; And he that would say A pretty girl nay, I wish for his cravat a tether."
"Heyday!" said Miss Vernon, "the genial Justice must have dinedalready--I did not think it had been so late."
It was even so. Mr. Inglewood's appetite having been sharpened by hisofficial investigations, he had antedated his meridian repast, havingdined at twelve instead of one o'clock, then the general dining hour inEngland. The various occurrences of the morning occasioned our arrivingsome time after this hour, to the Justice the most important of thefour-and-twenty, and he had not neglected the interval.
"Stay you here," said Diana. "I know the house, and I will call aservant; your sudden appearance might startle the old gentleman even tochoking;" and she escaped from me, leaving me uncertain whether I oughtto advance or retreat. It was impossible for me not to hear some part ofwhat passed within the dinner apartment, and particularly severalapologies for declining to sing, expressed in a dejected croaking voice,the tones of which, I conceived, were not entirely new to me.
"Not sing, sir? by our Lady! but you must--What! you have cracked mysilver-mounted cocoa-nut of sack, and tell me that you cannot sing!--Sir,sack will make a cat sing, and speak too; so up with a merry stave, ortrundle yourself out of my doors!--Do you think you are to take up all myvaluable time with your d-d declarations, and then tell me you cannotsing?"
"Your worship is perfectly in rule," said another voice, which, from itspert conceited accent, might be that of the cleric, "and the party mustbe conformable; he hath _canet_ written on his face in court hand."
"Up with it then," said the Justice, "or by St. Christopher, you shallcrack the cocoa-nut full of salt-and-water, according to the statute forsuch effect made and provided."
Thus exhorted and threatened, my quondam fellow-traveller, for I could nolonger doubt that he was the recusant in question, uplifted, with a voicesimilar to that of a criminal singing his last psalm on the scaffold, amost doleful stave to the following effect:--
"Good people all, I pray give ear, A woeful story you shall hear, 'Tis of a robber as stout as ever Bade a true man stand and deliver. With his foodle doo fa loodle loo.
"This knave, most worthy of a cord, Being armed with
pistol and with sword, 'Twixt Kensington and Brentford then Did boldly stop six honest men. With his foodle doo, etc.
"These honest men did at Brentford dine, Having drank each man his pint of wine, When this bold thief, with many curses, Did say, You dogs, your lives or purses. With his foodle doo," etc.
I question if the honest men, whose misfortune is commemorated in thispathetic ditty, were more startled at the appearance of the bold thiefthan the songster was at mine; for, tired of waiting for some one toannounce me, and finding my situation as a listener rather awkward, Ipresented myself to the company just as my friend Mr. Morris, for such,it seems, was his name, was uplifting the fifth stave of his dolefulballad. The high tone with which the tune started died away in a quaverof consternation on finding himself so near one whose character hesupposed to be little less suspicious than that of the hero of hismadrigal, and he remained silent, with a mouth gaping as if I had broughtthe Gorgon's head in my hand.
The Justice, whose eyes had closed under the influence of the somniferouslullaby of the song, started up in his chair as it suddenly ceased, andstared with wonder at the unexpected addition which the company hadreceived while his organs of sight were in abeyance. The clerk, as Iconjectured him to be from his appearance, was also commoved; for,sitting opposite to Mr. Morris, that honest gentleman's terrorcommunicated itself to him, though he wotted not why.
Frank at Judge Inglewood's--104]
I broke the silence of surprise occasioned by my abrupt entrance.--"Myname, Mr. Inglewood, is Francis Osbaldistone; I understand that somescoundrel has brought a complaint before you, charging me with beingconcerned in a loss which he says he has sustained."
"Sir," said the Justice, somewhat peevishly, "these are matters I neverenter upon after dinner;--there is a time for everything, and a justiceof peace must eat as well as other folks."
The goodly person of Mr. Inglewood, by the way, seemed by no means tohave suffered by any fasts, whether in the service of the law or ofreligion.
"I beg pardon for an ill-timed visit, sir; but as my reputation isconcerned, and as the dinner appears to be concluded"--
"It is not concluded, sir," replied the magistrate; "man requiresdigestion as well as food, and I protest I cannot have benefit from myvictuals unless I am allowed two hours of quiet leisure, intermixed withharmless mirth, and a moderate circulation of the bottle."
"If your honour will forgive me," said Mr. Jobson, who had produced andarranged his writing implements in the brief space that our conversationafforded; "as this is a case of felony, and the gentleman seems somethingimpatient, the charge is _contra pacem domini regis_"--
"D--n _dominie regis!_" said the impatient Justice--"I hope it's notreason to say so; but it's enough to made one mad to be worried in thisway. Have I a moment of my life quiet for warrants, orders, directions,acts, bails, bonds, and recognisances?--I pronounce to you, Mr. Jobson,that I shall send you and the justiceship to the devil one of thesedays."
"Your honour will consider the dignity of the office one of the quorumand custos rotulorum, an office of which Sir Edward Coke wisely saith,The whole Christian world hath not the like of it, so it be dulyexecuted."
"Well," said the Justice, partly reconciled by this eulogium on thedignity of his situation, and gulping down the rest of hisdissatisfaction in a huge bumper of claret, "let us to this gear then,and get rid of it as fast as we can.--Here you, sir--you, Morris--you,knight of the sorrowful countenance--is this Mr. Francis Osbaldistone thegentleman whom you charge with being art and part of felony?"
"I, sir?" replied Morris, whose scattered wits had hardly yet reassembledthemselves; "I charge nothing--I say nothing against the gentleman,"
"Then we dismiss your complaint, sir, that's all, and a good riddance--Push about the bottle--Mr. Osbaldistone, help yourself."
Jobson, however, was determined that Morris should not back out of thescrape so easily. "What do you mean, Mr. Morris?--Here is your owndeclaration--the ink scarce dried--and you would retract it in thisscandalous manner!"
"How do I know," whispered the other in a tremulous tone, "how manyrogues are in the house to back him? I have read of such things inJohnson's Lives of the Highwaymen. I protest the door opens"--
And it did open, and Diana Vernon entered--"You keep fine order here,Justice--not a servant to be seen or heard of."
"Ah!" said the Justice, starting up with an alacrity which showed that hewas not so engrossed by his devotions to Themis or Comus, as to forgetwhat was due to beauty--"Ah, ha! Die Vernon, the heath-bell of Cheviot,and the blossom of the Border, come to see how the old bachelor keepshouse? Art welcome, girl, as flowers in May."
"A fine, open, hospitable house you do keep, Justice, that must beallowed--not a soul to answer a visitor."
"Ah, the knaves! they reckoned themselves secure of me for a couple ofhours--But why did you not come earlier?--Your cousin Rashleigh dinedhere, and ran away like a poltroon after the first bottle was out--Butyou have not dined--we'll have something nice and ladylike--sweet andpretty like yourself, tossed up in a trice."
"I may eat a crust in the ante-room before I set out," answered MissVernon--"I have had a long ride this morning; but I can't stay long,Justice--I came with my cousin, Frank Osbaldistone, there, and I mustshow him the way back again to the Hall, or he'll lose himself in thewolds."
"Whew! sits the wind in that quarter?" inquired the Justice--
"She showed him the way, she showed him the way, She showed him the way to woo.
What! no luck for old fellows, then, my sweet bud of the wilderness?"
"None whatever, Squire Inglewood; but if you will be a good kind Justice,and despatch young Frank's business, and let us canter home again, I'llbring my uncle to dine with you next week, and we'll expect merrydoings."
"And you shall find them, my pearl of the Tyne--Zookers, lass, I neverenvy these young fellows their rides and scampers, unless when you comeacross me. But I must not keep you just now, I suppose?--I am quitesatisfied with Mr. Francis Osbaldistone's explanation--here has been somemistake, which can be cleared at greater leisure."
"Pardon me, sir," said I; "but I have not heard the nature of theaccusation yet."
"Yes, sir," said the clerk, who, at the appearance of Miss Vernon, hadgiven up the matter in despair, but who picked up courage to pressfarther investigation on finding himself supported from a quarter whenceassuredly he expected no backing--"Yes, sir, and Dalton saith, That hewho is apprehended as a felon shall not be discharged upon any man'sdiscretion, but shall be held either to bail or commitment, paying to theclerk of the peace the usual fees for recognisance or commitment."
The Justice, thus goaded on, gave me at length a few words ofexplanation.
It seems the tricks which I had played to this man Morris had made astrong impression on his imagination; for I found they had been arrayedagainst me in his evidence, with all the exaggerations which a timorousand heated imagination could suggest. It appeared also, that on the dayhe parted from me, he had been stopped on a solitary spot and eased ofhis beloved travelling-companion, the portmanteau, by two men, wellmounted and armed, having their faces covered with vizards.
One of them, he conceived, had much of my shape and air, and in awhispering conversation which took place betwixt the freebooters, heheard the other apply to him the name of Osbaldistone. The declarationfarther set forth, that upon inquiring into the principles of the familyso named, he, the said declarant, was informed that they were of theworst description, the family, in all its members, having been Papistsand Jacobites, as he was given to understand by the dissenting clergymanat whose house he stopped after his rencontre, since the days of Williamthe Conqueror.
Upon all and each of these weighty reasons, he charged me with beingaccessory to the felony committed upon his person; he, the saiddeclarant,
then travelling in the special employment of Government, andhaving charge of certain important papers, and also a large sum inspecie, to be paid over, according to his instructions, to certainpersons of official trust and importance in Scotland.
Having heard this extraordinary accusation, I replied to it, that thecircumstances on which it was founded were such as could warrant nojustice, or magistrate, in any attempt on my personal liberty. I admittedthat I had practised a little upon the terrors of Mr. Morris, while wetravelled together, but in such trifling particulars as could haveexcited apprehension in no one who was one whit less timorous and jealousthan himself. But I added, that I had never seen him since we parted, andif that which he feared had really come upon him, I was in nowiseaccessory to an action so unworthy of my character and station in life.That one of the robbers was called Osbaldistone, or that such a name wasmentioned in the course of the conversation betwixt them, was a triflingcircumstance, to which no weight was due. And concerning the disaffectionalleged against me, I was willing to prove, to the satisfaction of theJustice, the clerk, and even the witness himself, that I was of the samepersuasion as his friend the dissenting clergyman; had been educated as agood subject in the principles of the Revolution, and as such nowdemanded the personal protection of the laws which had been assured bythat great event.
The Justice fidgeted, took snuff, and seemed considerably embarrassed,while Mr. Attorney Jobson, with all the volubility of his profession, ranover the statute of the 34 Edward III., by which justices of the peaceare allowed to arrest all those whom they find by indictment orsuspicion, and to put them into prison. The rogue even turned my ownadmissions against me, alleging, "that since I had confessedly, upon myown showing, assumed the bearing or deportment of a robber or malefactor,I had voluntarily subjected myself to the suspicions of which Icomplained, and brought myself within the compass of the act, havingwilfully clothed my conduct with all the colour and livery of guilt."
I combated both his arguments and his jargon with much indignation andscorn, and observed, "That I should, if necessary, produce the bail of myrelations, which I conceived could not be refused, without subjecting themagistrate in a misdemeanour."
"Pardon me, my good sir--pardon me," said the insatiable clerk; "this isa case in which neither bail nor mainprize can be received, the felon whois liable to be committed on heavy grounds of suspicion, not beingreplevisable under the statute of the 3d of King Edward, there being inthat act an express exception of such as be charged of commandment, orforce, and aid of felony done;" and he hinted that his worship would dowell to remember that such were no way replevisable by common writ, norwithout writ.
At this period of the conversation a servant entered, and delivered aletter to Mr. Jobson. He had no sooner run it hastily over, than heexclaimed, with the air of one who wished to appear much vexed at theinterruption, and felt the consequence attached to a man of multifariousavocations--"Good God!--why, at this rate, I shall have neither time toattend to the public concerns nor my own--no rest--no quiet--I wish toHeaven another gentleman in our line would settle here!"
"God forbid!" said the Justice in a tone of _sotto-voce_ deprecation;"some of us have enough of one of the tribe."
"This is a matter of life and death, if your worship pleases."
"In God's name! no more justice business, I hope," said the alarmedmagistrate.
"No--no," replied Mr. Jobson, very consequentially; "old Gaffer Rutledgeof Grime's-hill is subpoenaed for the next world; he has sent an expressfor Dr. Kill-down to put in bail--another for me to arrange his worldlyaffairs."
"Away with you, then," said Mr. Inglewood, hastily; "his may not be areplevisable case under the statute, you know, or Mr. Justice Death maynot like the doctor for a _main pernor,_ or bailsman."
"And yet," said Jobson, lingering as he moved towards the door, "if mypresence here be necessary--I could make out the warrant for committal ina moment, and the constable is below--And you have heard," he said,lowering his voice, "Mr. Rashleigh's opinion"--the rest was lost in awhisper.
The Justice replied aloud, "I tell thee no, man, no--we'll do nought tillthou return, man; 'tis but a four-mile ride--Come, push the bottle, Mr.Morris--Don't be cast down, Mr. Osbaldistone--And you, my rose of thewilderness--one cup of claret to refresh the bloom of your cheeks."
Diana started, as if from a reverie, in which she appeared to have beenplunged while we held this discussion. "No, Justice--I should be afraidof transferring the bloom to a part of my face where it would show tolittle advantage; but I will pledge you in a cooler beverage;" andfilling a glass with water, she drank it hastily, while her hurriedmanner belied her assumed gaiety.
I had not much leisure to make remarks upon her demeanour, however, beingfull of vexation at the interference of fresh obstacles to an instantexamination of the disgraceful and impertinent charge which was broughtagainst me. But there was no moving the Justice to take the matter up inabsence of his clerk, an incident which gave him apparently as muchpleasure as a holiday to a schoolboy. He persisted in his endeavours toinspire jollity into a company, the individuals of which, whetherconsidered with reference to each other, or to their respectivesituations, were by no means inclined to mirth. "Come, Master Morris,you're not the first man that's been robbed, I trow--grieving ne'erbrought back loss, man. And you, Mr. Frank Osbaldistone, are not thefirst bully-boy that has said stand to a true man. There was JackWinterfield, in my young days, kept the best company in the land--athorse-races and cock-fights who but he--hand and glove was I with Jack.Push the bottle, Mr. Morris, it's dry talking--Many quart bumpers have Icracked, and thrown many a merry main with poor Jack--good family--readywit--quick eye--as honest a fellow, barring the deed he died for--we'lldrink to his memory, gentlemen--Poor Jack Winterfield--And since we talkof him, and of those sort of things, and since that d--d clerk of minehas taken his gibberish elsewhere, and since we're snug among ourselves,Mr. Osbaldistone, if you will have my best advice, I would take up thismatter--the law's hard--very severe--hanged poor Jack Winterfield atYork, despite family connections and great interest, all for easing a fatwest-country grazier of the price of a few beasts--Now, here is honestMr. Morris, has been frightened, and so forth--D--n it, man, let the poorfellow have back his portmanteau, and end the frolic at once."
Morris's eyes brightened up at this suggestion, and he began to hesitateforth an assurance that he thirsted for no man's blood, when I cut theproposed accommodation short, by resenting the Justice's suggestion as aninsult, that went directly to suppose me guilty of the very crime which Ihad come to his house with the express intention of disavowing. We werein this awkward predicament when a servant, opening the door, announced,"A strange gentleman to wait upon his honour;" and the party whom he thusdescribed entered the room without farther ceremony.
Die Vernon at Judge Inglewood's--112]