Another dip of his chin.
“Well, it doesn’t. You feel all wolf to me. Is that all?”
A slow, wicked smile took his lips. “That, and I tell a hundred dick jokes a day.”
She huffed a soft laugh. “I find dick jokes funny.”
“God, you’re perfect,” he growled.
Mila giggled as he plucked at her neck with his lips and backed her toward the couch.
“You always were,” he said right before he kissed her.
Easing back, she asked, “Then why didn’t you show any interest?” She’d always wondered. He’d been hot and cold when they were growing up, toying with her at times.
“Because you were good, Mila. It wasn’t that I didn’t find you pretty. You’re gorgeous. It wasn’t that I didn’t find you funny or I didn’t think about you when you weren’t around. I could feel something was wrong. With me. And I didn’t want the bad parts of me stealing the good parts of you.”
“And now?” she asked breathlessly as he bit her throat gently.
“Now, I want you to be the big bad wolf… Just.” Kiss. “Like.” Kiss. “Me.”
A shiver trembled up her spine, and a soft growl rattled her throat. Roman eased back and cupped her neck, gently pressed his thumb over her throat to feel her growl. He smirked down at her as if she’d done something he was proud of. “That’s my girl.”
Mila’s breath was coming faster now, but she could do this. Roman was telling her he liked her wild, telling her he liked when she did what she wanted to him. So she slid her hands under the hem of his T-shirt and ran her palms up the defined ridges of his abs to his chest, then up to his shoulders and back down to those nipple bars.
She flashed him a look just to make sure he was still in this as she lifted up his shirt. He was a lot taller than her, so he gave a crooked smile and pulled it off the rest of the way. And then he laid on the couch, on his back, dragging her with him. It was a really submissive position for a dominant man like him, so it took a second for Mila to wrap her head around this. Was straddling his lap okay? Roman was looking up at her with that devilish grin that said he was waiting to see what she did with this, and it made her a little braver.
Scrunching up her face, she closed her eyes and pulled her jacket off as quickly as she could. Her sweater came next, and then she crossed her arms over her bra as she eased one eye open. It was really bright in here right now.
Roman pulled her arms gently away from her chest and arched his eyebrows. “No need to be shy with me, Chicken. I love everything about you. It’s just you and me, and we’re having fun. No one’s judging.” He reached forward and unsnapped the front clasp on her bra, then pushed it back off her shoulders.
As much as she wanted to close her eyes again and hide, Mila forced herself to watch his face. His slow, hungry smile made the effort worth it. Roman lifted up to a sitting position and kissed her, pushed his tongue past her lips and stroked it against hers. His hand was at the back of her neck, keeping her close, but she didn’t feel trapped. Instead, she felt…safe.
She let off a relieved sigh at the warmth of his skin touching her tingling breasts. God, this was everything, coveted by the man who’d always felt so big, wrapped in his arms, kissed and taken care of… protected. She let any feelings of insecurity go. Roman liked this, liked her. His erection was hard as a stone between them, and she rolled her hips against it. That was all the hint Roman needed. He immediately took them back down to the couch, her laying on top of him, and lifted her up enough to shimmy out of his jeans. Much more clumsily, and with a few giggles on her part and chuckles on his, Mila struggled out of her shoes and pants until she was wearing only a pair of pink lace panties.
“There,” she said, straddling him breathlessly, her cheeks on fire.
“Yeah, I’d say we’re there,” Roman murmured, staring between her thighs as he gripped her waist so hard his fingers dug into her skin. Felt good. “You gonna ride me now or what, Chicken?” he murmured in a deep, gravelly voice.
Her middle turned molten at his naughty words, and she rocked her hips to reward him. “Maybe. Or maybe I’ll go all submissive and make you do the work.”
“Oh, no,” Roman said, his grip on her hardening as he pulled her in a stroke up his erection. “Big bad wolf with me, remember?” His eyes went serious. “Make me forget the ghosts for a little while.”
He thought she was some kind of magic, but she wasn’t. She was just Mila, plain, simple, boring, bottom-of-the-pack Mila. But the way Roman was looking at her made her feel like so much more. She leaned forward and clamped her teeth on his chest, right over his heart. Roman hissed and arched against the couch, but was holding the back of her head as though he enjoyed the rough play. So she bit him harder, bit him until she could taste the faintest hint of iron, and then she released him and licked the bite mark slowly. Roman was rocking his hips against her now as if he couldn’t help himself, and his eyes flashed bright gold.
Hello wolf. My wolf. My mate.
A ripping sound filled the air, and then her panties were gone, floating from Roman’s fingertips as he tossed the shred of lacey fabric to the floor. Sexy man, and now there were no barriers separating their skin. She was sitting right over his thick erection and, good God, it felt so perfect as he rolled through her wet folds.
“Roman,” she pleaded.
“You don’t have to beg, Mila. You’re in control,” he answered. “You can do whatever you want.”
Oh. Right. Mila lifted up slightly and guided him to her entrance, then slid down him slowly, fingers clawing his chest as she panted shallowly. He was big…almost too big…but she’d been ready for him, relaxed.
Roman’s hand went to her ass now and she set the pace slow to let her body adjust to his size. With his other, he gripped the back of her neck and pulled her to him, kissed her until she felt drunk. They were moving together now in this perfect rhythm that was so easy, so natural, like their bodies already knew each other, knew what the other needed.
Mila was already close, the pressure building too fast in this position. “Roman,” she squeaked out helplessly.
“Come for me,” he growled against her lips, then bit her bottom one as he squeezed her ass and rammed her down harder onto his dick.
Well, that did it. There was no putting off the orgasm that exploded through her. Her entire body was taken with it as she slid up and down him and sank her teeth into the bite mark she’d made earlier. Felt right.
Roman snarled and flipped her over on her back so fast her stomach dipped. And then he reared back and slammed into her, his elbows resting on either side of her cheeks, his hands pushing her bangs back, his wild gold eyes locked on hers, trapping her in his gaze. His teeth were gritted, too sharp, face feral, sexy Roman. He was pushing into her fast, and her orgasm was somehow getting stronger as her body became more sensitive to his. She cried out, and when she clawed his back, Roman bucked into her and ground out her name, freezing as his dick pulsed warmth inside of her. He reared back and pushed in again, and more warmth, more and more.
He didn’t bite her like she had him, but Mila knew why. He wanted her to ask him. He wanted her to give consent for the bite that would take Rhett’s bond away. Maybe he didn’t want to do it during sex and wanted a formal ceremony instead, she didn’t know, but she wasn’t hurt by his lack of teeth.
He was taking care of her now. Kissing her, running his fingers over her skin, exploring her body as he moved slowly within her, drawing out both of their releases and making sure she felt adored.
Roman had done something incredible for her tonight. He’d put her in a dominant position and asked her to own it. And she had. She was proud of herself for the first time in a long time. He’d done that for her. Did he even realize how important it was that she felt in control for once?
She wasn’t a phoenix yet, but for the first time in a long time, she felt like, someday, maybe she could be.
Chapter Nine
Mila pul
led out the old shoe box in the top corner of her closet. It was a box she had decorated like a robot when she was in grade school. There was a hole cut out on the top for the mouth, and during a Valentine’s Day party, the other kids in the class had put their cards for her in it.
“Do you remember these?” she asked Roman.
He was sitting on the bed, the sheets around his hips as he rested his elbows on his knees. “Third grade, Mrs. Vandaveer’s class, you won all the awards for you robot. I was so jealous because the awards were those bags of trail mix, and I wanted the M&Ms out of them so bad.”
“You were super mean to me and said my robot was ugly. I kicked you.” She laid on the bed on her stomach, and Roman grabbed her bare ass and squeezed.
“Can I put on clothes yet? It’s kind of cold.”
“Bullshit, you’re a werewolf. No. I like you like this. We said we were going to have an all-night naked party, and you’re following through, Chicken. I’m keeping you honest.”
She giggled and shook her head. He liked playing, and surprisingly, so did she. Roman made things fun again. “Anyway, I kicked you, and I was really proud, but you told on me, and Mrs. Vandaveer sent me to the principal’s office. I was so upset. I’d never been before. And then I remember sitting in the chair outside of the principal’s office just…shaking. The door opened, and in you came. You sat right beside me and held my hand. You said you hit Martin Kramer in the eye and got sent in.”
“I didn’t.”
“What?”
Roman laid on his side, resting his elbow on the mattress, his cheek on his palm. “I didn’t hit Martin.”
“Then why did you get sent to the principal’s office?”
“I didn’t do anything bad. I asked to go to the bathroom, and then I came to sit with you because I knew you would be scared. I felt bad because I deserved the kick, and you were going to get in trouble for it.”
Mila swallowed a few times, stalling as she ducked her gaze to the robot box. Well, that changed things. “What else did you do that I didn’t know about?”
A smile crept across Roman’s face. “Remember that dickface, John Cog, that you dated freshmen year in high school?”
“Pervy John?”
“Yeah, he broke up with you because I threatened to drag his ass up the water tower and pitch him off. I would’ve done it, too. Remember that football game where I caught you two arguing out near the back fence? He was pushing you too much, putting too much pressure on you, and you had your eyes on the ground, talking too quiet. He was going to get his way, and I wanted to pluck his intestines through his belly button. I didn’t, though. I kept my crap together long enough to tell you I needed to talk to you about something important, alone, remember?”
“Yeah, and when John left, all pissed and cussing up a storm, you took me to the concession stand and bought me nachos with tons of extra jalapeños, like you knew exactly how I liked them without even asking. And then I asked what you wanted to talk about, but your eyes were gold, and you wouldn’t answer.”
“Because I was so angry with that prick, wanted to kill him, hated the way he’d been treating you at school. And I was scaring you, I could tell, because you couldn’t make yourself sit close to me. And everyone around us was cheering for a touchdown, but I was watching you, thinking how pretty you were, and you gave me this little sideways look, a little smile, and you shoved the container of nachos across the metal seat toward me like it was your little thank you for getting you away from John. It was the first time I had shared food with anyone. And I remember there was this moment where I wished you were mine because I would never make you feel like John did. Like you didn’t have a say. I wanted to scoot over and put my arm around you, tell you how much I liked you, but your mom appeared right between us. She was staring at me with this hollow look, and she shook her head and said, ‘Not yet.’ So I stayed put, not because your mom told me to, but because I could see your mom. John wasn’t good for you, but neither was I. On Monday at school, I followed him into the bathroom and scared him into ending it with you because I knew you wouldn’t do it. Not with a guy like that. He would bully you into taking him back just because you were soft-hearted. I wanted you to move on. I wished you could move on with me, but I wanted you happy, so I was good with you just finding someone nicer. Maybe one of the other boys in the pack. Maybe Gentry. I saw you watching him sometimes. John was going to grow up a brawler, I could feel it. My wolf hated him. He felt off. Sick. He felt like Rhett does now. I was glad when his parents moved him out of state the next year. I didn’t want him to pledge to my dad’s pack with you.”
Mila scooted closer and rested her toes against his. The sheets separated them, but Roman smiled and leaned forward, kissed her gently. And then he plucked the lid off the robot box that sat on the bed between them. “What did you bring me, Chicken,” he murmured as he stared at the top picture.
“Memories.”
He pulled out the top photo and chuckled. It was a picture of her and the three Striker brothers standing in front of a bonfire. She was a year younger than Roman, and a lot shorter. He had his arm around her, his giant palm resting on her head, and was grinning. His other arm was around Asher, who was lanky and even taller. Gentry was standing by himself a few feet off, arms crossed, frowning at something off in the woods. Asher almost wore a smile, but it was her and Roman’s face she loved in this one. They looked so happy, mid-laugh as though he’d just told a joke. He was looking at her, but Mila was looking at the camera, her eyes dancing.
“I remember this night,” he said low. “I wish I could remember what I said to make you laugh like this.”
“I’m sure it was gross.”
“Oh, a hundred percent chance it was. It was a pack meeting, and we all cooked hotdogs on that fire. You cooked me one.”
“You said it was too burnt.”
“It was just right. I just liked to give you shit and watch your cheeks go pink. And then you made Gentry one, and I wanted to fight him. Oooh, I was mad. Dad had been on a tear, making sure everyone knew he was the favored son, the future alpha, and Asher was in my ear reminding me all the goddamn time how bad it sucked to be us. To be the forgotten sons. And here was Gentry, getting something from you that I had thought was just for me.”
“I didn’t mean to do that. I just felt bad for not offering him one, too. I asked Asher, too, but he said he didn’t like people doing stuff for him. You and Gentry always let me take care of you a little, though. I liked doing that. It made me feel important, like you two wouldn’t let Asher get rid of me because I had value. Because I could do little things to make you smile. And anyway, you were dating that Christie human at the time. I’d seen you sneaking off with her. I hoped you were just friends, but it still hurt that you would pick a human over me. I was going to be in your pack, and we got along well. I l—” Mila cleared her throat and tried again. “I liked you. A lot. And you were choosing a human. You were choosing the human that would get you kicked out of the Striker Pack. And I freaking told you, Roman. You were being reckless, being too obvious with her. When you got caught, it was an awful day.”
“You were one of the only ones who knew the real reason behind me and Asher getting banished from the pack,’ Roman said softly as he brushed her bangs to the side with the tip of his finger. “Dad was so ashamed. I was dating Christie—”
“More than dating. You got caught having sex with her. With a human. That’s the biggest rule, and you broke it. You risked everything for her. And when Asher’s girlfriend outed him to Tim a few days after you were caught, it felt like the world had flipped on its axis. I knew your dad wouldn’t be able to get out of punishing you both severely. That pack meeting… Roman, I saw you break, and I broke right along with you.”
Pain rippled across his face, and for once, it was Roman who ducked his gaze. “It was a mistake. It was me spiraling. I was seeing more and more ghosts. They were seeking me out, and I was never alone. They would stand in my bedroo
m just watching me at night, like they were waiting for me to go to sleep, and I couldn’t tell anyone about it. Couldn’t admit how crazy I was. Christie was rebellion from the stuff I was going through, but also from Dad. And the longer I dated Christie, the more I thought I was invincible. Or maybe I wanted to get caught, I don’t know. Sometimes that feels right because, at the time, I wanted my dad to see me. He never looked at me or Asher. Never saw us. I was like one of the ghosts that followed me around…invisible. Nothing I did got his attention. Asher didn’t try, but I thought if I was funny enough, and outgoing enough, Dad would realize I was as good as Gentry. And when that didn’t work, I found another way.”
“Christie?”
Roman nodded. “Pretty stupid, huh? I threw away my whole life on a girl I didn’t even care about, and who didn’t care about me.”
“Or maybe this was how it was supposed to be,” Mila said, pushing old movie stubs and concert tickets aside for the next picture. It was one she’d taken out at the bluffs. They’d gone hiking for hours and ended up on top of a ridge, overlooking miles of rolling hills. All three Strikers were sitting near the edge, their backs to the camera, the sunset painting the sky in front of them. Roman and Asher were sitting beside each other, but Gentry was yards away, all on his own. They all sat with their knees drawn up, arms resting on them, but while Roman and Asher looked relaxed as they talked, leaning their heads toward each other, Gentry’s back was tense, and he looked like he had no friends in the world.
“You said I used to watch Gentry. It wasn’t because I cared for him like I did you, Roman. It was because he was alone. Your dad did him no favors by favoring him. He cut him off from the two of you, and I could see him longing to be a part of the relationship you and Asher shared. He had no shot in hell at that the way things were. But since you’ve come back to Rangeley, I see a difference. One that makes my heart happy, not only for Gentry, but for you. You three went to war with the Bone-Rippers. Together. You three came into the Four Horsemen and declared your place as the Wolves of Winter’s Edge. Together. And then you and Asher took Gentry to Odine’s and sat outside for him, allowing that witch to take from you to give to him. And you fought for his and Blaire’s life. Together. Sometimes things need to break all the way before they can be put back together again. Maybe your relationship with your brothers isn’t the same as if you had all been whole in the first place.” Mila shrugged. “Or maybe fighting for those relationships will make them even better.”