They’d barely left the room when his mother refilled her wineglass and let out a long-suffering sigh. “I swear, sometimes I wonder why I even bother. No matter how hard I try, these family dinners are horrid.”
“Then why do you keep demanding we all attend?” Ash asked. “You have to know that we don’t enjoy it.” Dylan, who was always the more diplomatic of the pair of them, looked as if he was thinking of interrupting, but instead remained silent.
His mother took another sip from her expensive crystal goblet before saying, “If I didn’t, I’d never see either of you. Do you have any idea how long it’s been since I’ve seen your brothers?”
“Maybe you should have thought about that before you married Bart,” Ash pointed out. He refused to let her heap guilt on him. She’d never been a mother figure to any of them, and playing the victim was a joke.
In an uncharacteristic display of emotion, she asked angrily, “What was I supposed to do after your father died, Asher, remain alone forever? You along with half of the country must be aware that while he was living, he chased everything in a skirt. Do you not feel as if I’ve served my time? Do you have any idea how mortifying it was to have women that you thought of as your friends sleeping with your husband? I went through a period where I was so depressed that I didn’t leave the house for months. And do you think he cared? Your father only had two loves in his life, and that was the resorts and you kids. Everything else was expendable.”
Ash stared at his mother in shock. Naturally he knew his father had been a womanizer, as the man had never made a secret of it. Ash had also never given much thought to how it affected his mother. Maybe that made him a cold bastard, but she’d always kept herself aloof and emotionally distant from them. Truthfully, he hadn’t thought she really gave a damn as long as she lived in the luxurious style she was accustomed to and had a nanny handle the dirty work of child-rearing. Their father had always been the fun parent. He was crazy about them and would drop whatever he was doing if they needed him. It wasn’t unusual for them to go days or even weeks without seeing their mother, but that was rare with their father. Shrugging, Ash said, “I don’t recall it bothering you back then. You were a member of every country club in the state and spent more time there than you did at home with your family. Dad was usually the one we had dinner with in the evening. You were rarely around.”
“That’s the way he wanted it!” his mother snapped. “In the beginning I tried to be a traditional parent. I wanted to catch up with each of you at the end of the day. To ask about how you were doing in school, your friends, or even if you had a crush on someone special. Your father didn’t want that though and he blocked me at every turn. He let me know quickly that my part in your upbringing ended the moment you left my body. He wanted heirs with a good pedigree and that was my role. When it had been fulfilled, he hired the best help that money could buy and told me to take up a hobby. He also let me know in no uncertain terms that if I didn’t go along with the program, I could find somewhere else to live. So in order to at least stay close to you and your brothers, I learned to keep my mouth shut and take what moments I could get with you.”
“I don’t believe that,” Dylan interjected, sounding uncertain. “Dad said you had no desire to attend our baseball games or anything else along those lines. He always seemed so sad over it. He said you just weren’t the maternal type and he’d given up trying to change you.”
A bitter laugh escaped her throat as their mother looked at first Dylan and then Ash. “I wanted nothing more than to be a real mother to you boys. Your father was always bigger than life; that’s one of the things that I loved about him in the beginning. If he turned his attention toward you, then it was as if you’d experienced a sunrise for the very first time after a lifetime of darkness. That’s how it was for me. I was raised by strict parents in a very sheltered household. I was working in the college library when I met your father. He was handsome, charming, and funny. I never stood a chance. My parents were thrilled because on paper he was the perfect match for me as I was for him. I was completely besotted, and when he asked me to marry him after dating for several months, I was over the moon. But our differences became apparent soon after we were married and I quickly realized that I’d never really known him at all. I was a family obligation that he needed to fulfill and you boys were the true joy that he got out of it. Unlike me, you were exactly what he wanted and he loved you completely and without reservations. The only problem was that he never saw a need for you to have a mother in your life. He wanted me to have no part in your upbringing; he was brutally clear on that.”
Incredulous, Ash asked, “Are you trying to say he abused you physically?”
Waving a hand, his mother shook her head. “No, he never touched me in that way. His words and threats were enough. As I said, to be a part of your lives, I had to stay on the sidelines and not interfere. If I overstepped, then one of the staff was sure to let him know. He wanted the absolute best for each of you, and he didn’t feel as if I had anything of value to offer to that end. He wanted strong sons and he felt that a mother would make you weak and clingy. I was a liability and he simply couldn’t have that. As long as I knew my place, then he left me alone to come and go as I saw fit and he did the same. He was cordial and generous financially. He also made it clear that even though he sought out the company of other women, I was to remain true to our wedding vows. He didn’t want the bad publicity that gossip would bring. He told me that when you boys were older, then he would release me from my obligations and I’d still be young enough to start over with someone who could give me what I wanted.”
“So you stayed married to Dad for a set amount of time, then he gave you a divorce?” Dylan asked, now looking a little shell-shocked. Ash could relate. This was the longest personal conversation they’d ever had with their mother. She rarely spoke of their father and had certainly never volunteered the kind of information she was sharing with them today.
“That’s right,” she agreed. “I waited until the last of you boys had left home, then I asked your father to terminate the marriage. He had no problem with it. In fact, I think it was a relief to him to put that part of his life behind him.”
“But you left him for Bart,” Ash pointed out impatiently. He had no idea why she’d picked today to drop this bombshell, but since she’d started it, he wanted some answers to things he’d always been curious about. He knew his father had had girlfriends during his marriage; hell, he’d met several of them. But his father had always alluded to the fact that their mother did as well. As far as he and his brothers knew, it was an open marriage of convenience.
“Bart and I went to school together and had been friends since childhood. He’s always been there for me, but there was never anything romantic between us while I was married to your father. That last year before our divorce, Bart’s wife, Melanie, lost her battle with cancer and he was devastated. I was his shoulder to lean on as he’d always been mine. In the months ahead we decided that what we really longed for in our lives was companionship, so after my divorce we got married.”
Ash was surprised when Dana spoke up. “Why would you leave what was basically one arranged marriage for another? Especially considering how the first one turned out? I’d have thought the next time you’d want to find love.”
His mother’s undignified snort had Ash smothering a grin. “I tried that and it didn’t work out. There’s something to be said for being with a man who knows you so well that there is no need for any type of pretenses. Which is what Bart and I have. I’m not saying that there aren’t challenges at times, but isn’t that true of any relationship?”
Before anything else could be said, Bart returned to the room minus Claudia. “Sorry about that,” he said. “I had to make sure my little girl was all right before I left her alone. Charlotte, please contact the furniture company tomorrow and have them pick up this junk before anyone else gets hurt.”
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Ash didn’t miss the slight roll of his mother’s eyes before she replied, “Certainly, darling. I’ll take care of that. How is Claudia doing? I hope she didn’t hurt herself.”
Bart still looked frazzled as he took a seat and gulped down half of his glass of wine. “I gave her an Ativan and put her to bed. You know she’s very fragile.”
Ash was pretty sure that he was the only one who heard Dana mutter, “Fragile, my ass.” Although the look on his mother’s face before she donned her blank mask said that she agreed with his fake girlfriend’s assessment of her stepdaughter. To Ash, this seemed like a golden opportunity to make an early exit and he didn’t intend to let it pass. He pushed his chair back and got to his feet before turning to Dana. “I believe you said something about opening the shop tomorrow. So if you’re ready?”
“That’s right, darling,” she agreed easily as she stood to join him. “You always take such good care of me, muffin.”
Ash heard Dylan snicker at the corny endearment, but he just grinned. Considering the amount of animosity that he’d had toward Dana for the better part of a year, he was certainly enjoying her company tonight. He almost hated to see it end because he kind of looked forward to seeing what she would do or say next. Oh well, he suspected there might be other pretend dates to look forward to. And strangely enough, he actually did anticipate them with enthusiasm. Putting his arm around her shoulders, he squeezed her against his side before planting a noisy kiss on her forehead. “Daddy knows exactly what his little munchkin likes.”
Bart looked puzzled by the banter, while his mother shocked him yet again by bestowing what appeared to be a genuine smile upon them. Maybe she’d hit the hard liquor earlier in the evening. That would explain all of the oversharing she’d been doing. Possibly one too many of those Ativans that Bart had mentioned. “I’m so glad you could all come this evening,” she said softly as she rose to join them. She took Dana’s hands in hers and added, “It was a pleasure meeting you, dear. I hope to see you again soon.”
“Um—of course.” Dana stumbled on the words, clearly not expecting the warm good-bye from Ash’s mother. Nodding in Bart’s direction, she said, “I hope Claudia feels better.”
Dylan and Zoe followed them out, and as the door shut behind them, Ash looked at his brother and said, “That was some Twilight Zone shit right there. What in the hell has Mommie Dearest been smoking?”
Shaking his head, Dylan said, “Dude, what was that? She even hugged us when we left. Do you remember the last time that happened? I sure don’t. It kind of creeped me out.”
“Honey,” Zoe admonished softly. “She’s your mother. And it sounded as if she wanted to make things right between you all. If what she said was true, then possibly you owe her the chance to reconnect.”
“How are we supposed to know if it’s a lie or not?” Ash pointed out. “I mean, Dad has been dead for years, so it’s not as if he can defend himself. And why wait this long if she really wanted us to know the truth?”
Beside him, Dana shrugged. “Maybe you should ask her. I have a built-in bullshit detector and it didn’t go off once during her speech. I don’t think she was lying. As to the timing, maybe something happened recently that you’re unaware of.”
“Like mass quantities of alcohol,” Ash added dryly. “Listen, I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’ve had more than enough of the show for the evening. Let’s get the hell out of Dodge before they figure out that we’re still standing here.” Saying a quick good-bye to his brother and Zoe, Ash put a hand on the small of Dana’s back and steered her toward his BMW coupe, which was parked in the circular drive. He opened the door for her and waited until she was settled before walking around to the driver’s side and getting in. “You did well tonight,” he acknowledged as he drove toward her apartment.
“Thanks,” she replied softly. “I may have gone a tad overboard by shoving her backwards, but it kind of happened before I thought it out.”
“No worries,” he said, chuckling. “She had it coming. She’ll be after you though. For your own good, I probably shouldn’t take you to any more family dinners. I don’t want to see you get hurt. She might play the poor little girl with her father, but I have no doubt that she’s a vindictive little bitch.”
“Ash, I can more than hold my own against women like her,” Dana assured him. “She’s far from the first mean girl that I’ve crossed paths with. And you hired me for a job. After seeing her in action, I understand why. Does she try to maul you at every event?”
Ash couldn’t hide his shudder of revulsion. “Yeah, pretty much. She’s never been that bad with Dylan, but she doesn’t miss an opportunity where I’m concerned. I guess she knows I’m the bad seed of the family.”
“That’s ridiculous,” Dana scoffed. “There’s no possible justification for your sister putting the moves on you. If that’s how you’ve rationalized it in your mind, then you’re as screwed up as she is.”
His head was beginning to throb as it always did after an evening with his family. And as grateful as he was to the woman sitting next to him for running interference, he found himself irritated by her comment. Who did she think she was? “Listen, honey, I could really do without the postmortem. You don’t know anything about me. Although I would think the bastard that I’ve been to you the last year would give you some clue. I’m not a nice man. I go through women like you probably go through cookies. I’m the asshole that you’re always accusing me of being. Don’t delude yourself by believing I can be saved or that I’m misunderstood. The last thing I need is for you to develop some silly crush on me. We have a business arrangement and that’s all it’ll ever be. You’ve seen my type and you’re not it.”
Ash felt lower than dirt when he saw her wince out of the corner of his eye. Why had he said all of that shit? What was it about her that could turn his mood so damn quickly? One minute he was in awe of her and the next he wanted to destroy her. He was all over the place where she was concerned and had been since the first time he’d laid eyes on her. He’d never been this confused over a woman before, since it was usually pretty simple for him. He either wanted to fuck her or he didn’t. But either way, he tried to be respectful to the opposite sex. Dana’s voice was steady when she spoke, giving away nothing of what she was feeling.
“Oh, I’m quite aware of what you’re attracted to. You don’t discriminate, that’s for certain. Intellect not only isn’t a requirement, it’s a negative where you’re concerned. Tell me, did you have a bad experience once with a woman who could actually think for herself? Is that why you’ve lowered your expectations to rock bottom?”
She was closer to the truth than she might have expected with that question. Once he had been in love with a woman who was one step ahead of him the entire time. She’d been absolutely nothing at all like the Brittanys of the world that he’d gravitated toward since. Smart women had a lot of expectations that he had no intentions of meeting. They wanted things like love and commitment. The Brittanys of the world just wanted to have a good time. And that was something he could handle. “What’s the matter, munchkin, you jealous because I haven’t lowered them enough to include you? Was that why you sent Claudia sailing through the air? You jealous of her?”
Instead of being offended, Dana tossed her head back and started to laugh. It went on so long that the sound was grating on his nerves when she finally paused to catch her breath. “You’re so full of yourself, Asher Jackson. You hired me for a job, and believe me, that’s the only reason I got your stepsister away from you. Otherwise I’d have been happy to sit back and let her grope you. Maybe you’re just upset that I interrupted her. Was she getting to the good part? For all I know, you two sneak upstairs and go at it like rabbits every time you have a family dinner.”
“That’s disgusting.” He shuddered as he spoke. “I can assure you I’ve never willingly been touched by her, and I damn sure didn’t go anywhere wi
th her. I have some standards, you know. She’s my sister, for fuck’s sake.”
“Sure, whatever you say, boss. I’m your employee so there’s no need to explain or deny anything to me. It’s a judgment-free zone here. You pay me, I do the job and keep my mouth shut. That is the way you want it, right?”
“Exactly,” he sighed halfheartedly. He already regretted his outburst. Why did she constantly bring out the worst in him? He’d enjoyed her company immensely all evening, yet had to ruin it by acting like a dick in the end. She’d done nothing to warrant it, as usual. He just couldn’t seem to help himself. “Listen,” he began, “I may have gotten a little carried away.”
“Ya think?” she asked dryly. “You haven’t ever bothered to apologize before so why start now? You despise me. You’ve never made a secret out of that. It might make things easier if you were passingly civil while we’re working, but I’ll manage either way.”
It stung more than he cared to admit that she thought he hated her. Well, you’ve been so charming, how could she possibly believe otherwise? Swallowing the lump in his throat, he managed to get out, “I’m sorry, Dana. I was out of line.” Damn, that hurt to admit.