Gee whiz, but that kid was proud of his new watch. He looked at it aboutevery ten seconds while we were waiting for the train, and every once ina while he looked up at the sun. I guess maybe he thought the sun was alittle late, hey? When we got to the city he checked up all the clockshe saw on the way over to the Grand Central Station, to see if they wereright, and when we were whizzing up along the Hudson on the Lake ShoreLimited he kept a time table in one hand and his watch in the other soas to find out if we reached Poughkeepsie and Albany on time.
Just before we all turned in for the night, Harry and Brent Gaylong wentover and sat by him and began jollying him about the watch. The rest ofus sprawled around on the Pullman seats, listening and laughing. Geewhiz, when Harry and Brent Gaylong get together, _good night_!
Harry said, "The trouble with those heavy duty watches is they're notintended for night work. They work all right in the daytime, but you seeat night when they haven't got the sun to go by, they get tosprinting----"
"Do you know what kind of a watch this is?" Pee-wee shouted at him."It's a scout watch----"
Brent said in that sober way of his, "That's just the trouble. Thosescout watches go scout-pace. A scout is always ahead of time; so is ascout watch. If a scout watch is supposed to arrive at three o'clock, itarrives at two--an hour beforehand. A scout is prompt."
"Positively," Harry said; "by to-morrow morning that watch will be anhour ahead of time. It'll beat every other watch by an hour."
"I bet it's right on the minute to-morrow morning," Pee-wee shouted."That's a scout watch; it's advertised in _Boys' Life_. The ad. said itkeeps perfect time."
"How long have you had it?" Rossie Bent wanted to know.
"My father gave it to me for a present on account of this trip," the kidsaid; "he gave it to me just before I started off."
"So you haven't had it overnight yet?" Brent asked him. "You don't knowwhether it's good at night work or not."
"They always race in the dark," Harry said; "that's the trouble withthose boy scout watches."
By this time the colored porter and about half a dozen passengers werestanding around listening and laughing.
Harry said, "Well, I'll tell you what I'll do, Kid. I happen to knowsomething about those watches and they're not to be trusted. The boyscout watch is a pile of junk. If that watch isn't at least an hourahead of time when we sit down to breakfast to-morrow morning, I'll buyyou the biggest pie they've got in the city of Cleveland. If your watchis wrong by as much as an hour you'll have to do a good turn betweenevery two stations we stop at till we get to Chicago. What do you say?"
"I won't have to worry about any good turns," Pee-wee shot back at him.
Harry said, "All right, is it a go?"
"Sure it's a go," the kid shouted. "Mm! Mm! I'll be eating pie all dayto-morrow."
CHAPTER IV--PEE-WEE'S WATCH
I guess Pee-wee dreamed of pie that night. Anyway he didn't wake up veryearly in the morning. When the train stopped at Cleveland for eats, hewas dead to the world. The rest of us all went into the railroad stationfor breakfast and Harry took a couple of sandwiches and a hard boiledegg and a bottle of milk back to the train for our young hero when heshould wake up.
When we were eating breakfast in the station, Harry said, "Well, I seethat none of you kids has ever been out west before. Hadn't we betterset our watches?"
I looked up at the clock in the station and, _good night_, then I knewwhy he and Brent had been jollying Pee-wee the night before. The dock inthe station was an hour behind my watch.
"Western time, boys," Harry said; "set _your_ watches back."
"And keep still about it when you go back on the train," Rossie said,"if you want to see some fun."
"We've lost an hour," Westy said.
"Don't you care," Brent said; "don't bother looking for it; we'll findit coming back."
Gee whiz, I had to laugh when I thought of Pee-wee lying sound asleep inhis upper berth with his trusty boy scout watch under his pillow. Whenwe went back on the train all the berths except Pee-wee's were made intoseats. There were only about a half a dozen passengers besides ourselvesin that car, and Harry went around asking them all not to mention toPee-wee about western time.
I guess it was about a half an hour later the kid woke up. He was sosleepy that he never thought about the time till after he had got washedand dressed, then he came staggering through the car wanting to knowwhere we were. The rest of us were all sprawling in the seats and thepassengers were smiling, because I guess they knew what was coming.
Harry said, "Sit down here and have some breakfast, Kid. We thought wewouldn't bother you to get up when we stopped in Cleveland. What timehave you got?"
Pee-wee hauled out his old boy scout turnip and said, "It's half pastnine."
Harry said, "Oh, not quite as bad as that; boy scouts don't sleep tillhalf past nine. It's just--let's see--it's just about half past eight."Then he showed his watch to Pee-wee, kind of careless like.
By that time we were all crowding around waiting to see the fun and thepassengers were all looking around and kind of smiling.
Harry said, "Sit down and eat your breakfast, Kid, and don't let thatold piece of junk fool you. What time have you got, Roy?"
I could hardly keep a straight face, but I said, "About half pasteight."
"You see, it's just as I told you, Kid," Harry said. "As soon as you goto sleep those boy scout watches take advantage of you. I wouldn't trustone of them any more than I'd trust a pickpocket. How about that,Brent?"
"Oh, I've met some pretty honest pickpockets," Brent said. "Of course,some of them are dishonest. But it's the same as it is in every otherbusiness; some are honest and some are not. I've seen some good, honest,hard working pickpockets. What time is it, Tom Slade?"
Gee whiz, I was afraid when Tom took out his watch, because he usuallystands up for Pee-wee, and I was afraid he'd let him know. But he justlooked at his watch, very sober, and said, "Pretty nearly twenty minutesof nine."
"You all make me sick!" Pee-wee yelled. "You think you're smart, don'tyou? You all got together and changed your watches."
"This is the same watch I always carried," Brent said.
"I mean you all changed the time," Pee-wee shouted; "you think you canput one over on me, don't you?"
"That watch would be all right for a paperweight, Kid," Rossie said, "orfor an anchor when you go fishing."
"It's all right to keep time, too," the kid shouted.
"It doesn't _keep_ it, it lets it out," Harry said; "did you have thecover closed? A whole hour has sneaked away on you."
"Maybe it leaks a little," Brent said.
"There may be a short circuit in the minute hand," Harry said.
"That watch is right!" the kid shouted. "That's a boy scout watch andit's guaranteed for a year."
"Well, it's an hour ahead of the game," Harry said. "You ask any one ofthese gentlemen the correct time."
Oh, boy, I had to laugh. Pee-wee went through the aisle holding hisprecious old boy scout watch in his hand, asking the differentpassengers what time it was. Every single one of them took out his watchand showed the kid how he was an hour wrong. All of a sudden, in camethe conductor and Harry winked at him and said, "What's the correcttime, Cap?"
"Eight thirty-eight," the conductor said.
Harry said, "There you are, Kiddo; what have you got to say now?"
Gee whiz, the kid didn't have _anything_ to say. He just stood theregaping at his watch and then staring around and the passengers couldhardly keep straight faces.
The conductor caught on to the joke and he winked at Harry and said,"Those toy watches aren't expected to keep time."
Harry said, "Oh, no, but he'll have a real watch when he grows up. He'syoung yet. He can take this one apart and have a lot of fun with theworks."
"Somebody set this watch ahead--some of you fellows did!" Pee-weeshouted. "It was right last night. It keeps good time. Somebody played atrick on me! This is a what-do-you-call-
it--a conspiracy. You're all init."
Just then we passed a station and there was a clock in a steeple. Harrysaid, "You don't claim that clock in the church steeple is in theconspiracy, do you? Look at it. _Now_ what have you got to say?"
Then the conductor put his arm over Pee-wee's shoulder and he said,"Didn't you ever hear of western time, son? The next time you'retraveling west you just drop an hour at Cleveland station and you'llfind it waiting there for you when you come back."
"Sure," I told him; "did you notice that big box on the platform? That'swhere they keep them. It's all full of hours."
The kid just stood there, staring. I guess he didn't know _what_ tobelieve.
"Set your watch back an hour and don't let them fool you," the conductorsaid, and then he began laughing.
"And remember that western time is different from eastern time," Rossiesaid.
"Oh, sure, everything is different out west," Harry put in. "I like thewestern time better."
"Eastern time is good enough for me," Brent said; "I always preferredit."
"And if you should ever happen to be crossing the Pacific Ocean on anyof your wild adventures, Kid," Harry said, "don't forget to set yourwatch back one day when you cross the equator."
"If it's one day I wouldn't have to set it back at all," Pee-wee said."Three o'clock to-day is the same as three o'clock yesterday."
"It would be better to set it back and be sure," Harry said.
"Oh, yes, safety first," Brent said; "there might be a slightdifference. One three o'clock might look like another, but there's adifference."
"How do you know when you cross the equator?" I asked Harry.
He said, "You can tell by the bump. Sometimes the ship just glides overit easily and you can't tell at all unless you look."
"It's best to shift gears going over the equator," Brent said; "go intosecond and stay in second till you get up the hill."
"What hill?" Pee-wee wanted to know. "You make me sick; there aren't anyhills on the ocean."
"That's where you're wrong," Rossie Brent said. "If you go to ConeyIsland and watch a ship coming toward you from way out on the ocean, yousee the top of the masts first, don't you? Then after a while you seethe whole ship. That's because it's coming up hill. See?"
"You should worry about hills, Kid," I said; "go ahead and eat yourbreakfast."
V--THE CARAVAN
I guess by now you must think we're all crazy; I should worry. I justthought I'd tell you that about Pee-wee's watch because, gee, it had usall laughing. So already you've lost an hour reading this story; don'tyou care.
Now we didn't have any more adventures on that trip. We didn't do muchexcept eat and, gee whiz, you wouldn't call that having adventures. Latethat night we got to Klucksville and we stayed at the hotel tillmorning. They have dandy wheat cakes at that hotel. And syrup, _mm_,_mm_! Then we went to the auto works and the four cars were all readyfor us, because Mr. Junkum had sent a telegram to say we were coming.
Oh, boy, you should have seen that big van, a regular gypsy wagon. Onthe outside was painted,
JOLLY & KIDDER THE MAMMOTH STORE EVERYTHING FOR THE HOME
It was all enclosed and there was an electric light inside and steps togo up to it and everything. There were kind of lockers inside too; Iguess they were for small bundles, hey? The kind that mothers buy andthen send back again, because they don't fit.
Gee whiz, there wasn't much to see in Klucksville. We could have broughtthe whole town home with us in the van if we had wanted to,--all exceptthe auto works. We didn't waste much time there because Harry wanted toget an early start and go as far as we could the first day. But anyway,we stopped long enough in the village to have a man print a big sign oncanvas that we tacked on the van. It said,
MISSOURI TO NEW YORK SHOULD WORRY ABOUT RAILROADS BOY SCOUTS ON THE JOB! WE WORK WHILE OTHERS LOAF BE PREPARED
Besides that we bought three straw mattresses and an oil stove and somecanned stuff. We didn't need to buy much except food, because we had alot of camping stuff along. We got cans of beans and soup and tuna fishand some egg powder and Indian meal, because I can make lots of thingswith that. Gee whiz, I can't tell you all the stuff we bought, but ifyou watch us you'll see us eating it. Believe me, we ate everythingexcept the straw mattresses. Harry said the Kluck was a pretty good carfor eating up the miles, but believe me, it hasn't got anything on uswhen it comes to eating.
Now this is the way we started. First was a touring car with Tom Sladedriving it. He's awful sober, kind of. But you can have a lot of funwith him. He has no use for candy, but he's got a lot of sense aboutother things. I can always make him laugh--leave it to me. Next cameanother touring car with Rossie Bent driving it. He had a pasteboardsign on his and it said,
WE'RE FROM MISSOURI, WE'LL SHOW YOU
Next came Brent Gaylong in the other touring car and he had a pasteboardsign that said,
YOU'RE IN LUCK IF YOU GET A KLUCK ----- FROM THE WOOLLY WEST ----- BOUND FOR LITTLE OLD NEW YORK;
After that came the big van with Harry driving it.
Now we fellows were supposed to live in the van, but we didn't do muchexcept sleep in it. Most of the time we were riding in the differentcars. A lot of the time I sat with Tom Slade. Mostly the Warner twinsrode in the car with Rossie Bent. Charlie Seabury and Westy were inBrent Gaylong's car a lot of the time. Will Dawson got sleepy a lot sohe was in the van mostly. Pee-wee rode in all the different cars atonce, but most of the time in the van, on account of that being thecommissary department. Wherever you see a commissary department, lookfor Pee-wee. Commissary is his middle name. Sometimes he was up on topof the van dancing around. He's awful light on his feet. He came nearlighting on his head a couple of times.
So now I'm going to tell you about that trip.
VI--STRANDED
I guess you'll say this story is a lot of nonsense, but anyway, thosebig fellows were worse than the rest of us. Harry said it didn't makeany difference if we were foolish, because even a dollar hasn't as muchcents as it used to have--that's a joke. Anyway Harry had plenty ofdollars that Mr. Junkum gave him for expenses. He told us the people whowere buying the cars paid part of the money. And anyway, my patrol savedthem some money on account of knowing all about camping and cooking andall that. Harry said it was more fun than if we stayed at hotels all thetime. Gee whiz, I hate hotels--hotels and spinach. But once I went to apeach of a fire when a hotel burned down. That's one good thing abouthotels, anyway.
Now about noontime that day the road crossed the railroad station at aplace called Squash Centre. It crosses it there every day, I guess,Sundays and holidays and all. Anyway, it crossed it there that day.Pee-wee was sitting on the seat beside Harry and he shouted, "SquashCentre; I like pumpkin better." As soon as he saw the word squash rightaway he thought about pie.
There were only about six houses there and the railroad station. On theplatform were a lot of funny looking people and they had a couple of bigdogs tied by ropes. They had a lot of boxes and bags and things standingaround them on the platform. Most of the squashes of Squash Centre werestanding around a little way off laughing at them. The man that washolding the dogs had on a long black coat and a high hat and he neededto be shaved. His coat didn't have any cloth on the buttons. He had longhair sticking out from under his hat.
Harry said, "Well, well, we sure are out west. Here's poor old UncleTom's Cabin, bag and baggage." Then he called down to the man with theblack coat and said, "How about you, old top? Stranded?"
Then all the squashes of Squash Centre set up a howl.
r /> The man said, very dignified like, "Thank you, for your inquiry, youngsir, and might I ask if you came through Jones' Junction? Are there anytrains running?"
By that time our whole caravan had stopped and all the squashes gotaround and began staring at us.
Harry said, "I don't believe there are any trains except eastern trains.I don't believe there's anything that stops this side of Indianapolis.How far are you going? What's the matter, didn't you hit it right amongthe squashes?"
The man said, "The squashes are without art or patriotism. I thank youfor your information, sir. We are both stalled and stranded. We haveneither a train to travel on nor money to travel on it if we had. Ourfriends have not welcomed us as we hoped they would. We have a promisingengagement at Grumpy's Cross-roads some hundred miles distant, where weare under contract with Major Hezekiah Grumpy to give six performancesat the Grand Army reunion there. Major Grumpy, sir, fought bravely tostamp out the evil which our play depicts with such pathos." That wasjust the way he talked.
Harry said, "So they are having a reunion at Grumpy's Cross-roads, arethey?"
"A very magnificent affair, sir," that's just what the man said, "andthe major has contracted with us for the presentation of our heartstirring drama with the view of having the dramatic part of thecelebration appropriate."
Geewhiz, it was awful funny to hear him talk.
VII--A GOOD TURN
That man's name was Archibald Abbington, and he talked dandy, just as ifhe had learned it out of a book. One of those other people told us thathis right name was Henry Flynn. I felt sorry for them, that's one surething. And, oh, boy, but those were two peachy dogs they had. The thingthose dogs did mostly was to chase Eliza. Miss Le Farge, she was the onethat played Eliza. They never let anybody feed the dogs except her, sothey'd be sure to chase her.