Harry said, "Why don't you let them chase some of these squashes away?They stand around gaping just as if they never saw a human being before.How far is Grumpy's Cross-roads anyway?"
Mr. Abbington said, "It's a matter of a hundred miles or thereabout."Gee, he was crazy about that word _thereabout_. Then he said that theyhad a contract with Major Grumpy to give their first performance thenext afternoon at the Grand Army reunion, but he didn't know what theywould do because they were stranded.
Harry was awful nice to him. He said, "Well, it looks as if you were ina kind of a tight place, Archy, and I wish we could help you out. We'rereproducing the good old times, too, as you might say, with our overlandcaravan. These are boy scouts who are taking care of our commissarydepartment and this is their gallant leader, Roy Blakeley. How about it,Roy? Do you think we could squeeze in a good turn, just to vary themonotony? You're the boss of that end of the outfit. It would meandriving all night instead of stopping to camp as we meant to do. Let'slook on the map and see where Grumpy's Cross-roads is, anyway."
I said, "The more the merrier; I don't care where it is or how long ittakes us to get there. We'll take you. That's our middle name, doinggood turns."
"We give shows ourselves sometimes," Pee-wee said. "We have a movieapparatus and we give movie shows. But one thing, we've never beenstranded."
Brent said in that funny way of his, "But we hope to be, sometime; wecan't expect to have everything at once."
Mr. Abbington said, awful dignified like, "We have been stranded manytimes, sir. I can assure you it is not pleasant, especially when one ofour company is ill."
Gee whiz, I could see plain enough that one of them wasn't feeling good;that was the one they called Miss De Voil--she played Topsy. Maybe thesquashes disagreed with her, hey?
Harry said, "Well, it's up to you kids, Roy. Grumpy's Cross-roads iseast, so it isn't exactly out of our way, only we'll have to hit into apretty punk road and there'll be no sleeping around the camp-fireto-night. What do you say?"
Mr. Abbington and all the rest of those people looked at us kids awfulanxious, sort of. Gee, it made me feel sorry for them. All of a suddenPee-wee piped up. He said, "Camp-fires aren't the principal things inscouting; good turns come first. Anyway, once I heard that actors alwayshelp each other and maybe, kind of, you might say we're actors, becausesometimes we give shows."
Mr. Abbington said, "I am delighted to hear that, my young friend. Letme ask you what you have played."
"He plays the harmonica when nobody stops him," Westy said.
I said, "Oh, sure, he's a peachy actor; he plays dominoes and tennis andtiddle-de-winks. The most stirring part he ever plays is when he stirshis coffee."
Miss Le Farge said to another one of those ladies, "Oh, isn't he justtoo cute?"
So then we helped them get all their stuff into the van. They had a tentand a lot of other things. Harry whispered to me that he guessed theyhadn't had any supper and he said he was afraid if we didn't give themsomething to eat the man that played the slave driver wouldn't havestrength enough to whip Uncle Tom the next afternoon. Brent said maybeeven Uncle Tom wouldn't have strength enough to stand up and be whipped.He said, "We'd better feed them up."
So we made a fire in the grove right alongside the road so as not tointerfere with Miss De Voil, who was lying on one of the mattresses inthe van. We told the ladies that they could have the van all tothemselves that night so they could get good and rested. I fried somebacon for them and heated some beans and we got water out of therailroad station.
Gee whiz, the water was the only thing about that railroad that wasrunning.
VIII--GRUMPY
We ran the cars all that night so as to get those people to Grumpy'sCross-roads in the morning. The ladies slept in the van, all except one;she was the one that played Aunt Ophelia. In the play she had to bestrict, like a school teacher kind of, with Topsy. But when she wasn'tin the play she was awful nice. She sat up all night in Rossie Bent'scar, because she said she liked the fresh air. Mr. Abbington and Harrysat together outside the van. I didn't get sleepy much. The rest of thefellows sprawled in Tom Slade's car and Brent Gaylong's car, and weredead to the world. It was nice traveling in the night only we had to goslow. We went across a kind of a prairie and every once in a while wecame to farms. It was dandy to see the sun come up in the morning.
About five o'clock we came to a village and we asked a man how far itwas to Grumpy's Crossroads. He must have got up before breakfast, thatman. He said it was about thirty-five miles, but that we'd have to govery slow on account of the road being all stones. We had to drive thosecars easy, because they were supposed to be delivered new.
The man said, "If you're bound east why didn't you hit the south roadand cut out Grumpy's Crossroads altogether?"
Harry said, "Because these people have to appear at the Grand Armyreunion at Grumpy's Cross-roads this afternoon and we've got to get themthere."
The man said, "If that's all you're going to the Cross-roads for, youmight as well take the south road. Bill Thorpe, he was t'the Cross-roadsyesterday en' he said th' Uncle Tom's Cabin show was called off on'count of thar bein' no trains runnin'. He said ole Major Grumpy wastearin' 'is hair like a wild Injun at th' railroad unions."
Harry said, "Is that so? Well, I hope he won't have his hair all pulledout by 2 P. M. Do you suppose old Grump ever heard of the Boy Scouts ofAmerica?"
"I'll tell him all about them!" Pee-wee shouted. "You just leave it tome."
The man was smoking a pipe and it kind of smelled like a forest fire. Itsmelled like a forest fire and a gas engine put together, kind of. Helaid his pipe down on the step of the van so we'd know that what he wasgoing to say was very serious.
He said, "You take my advice en' daon't mention no scaout boys t'themajor; it's like wavin' a red flag before a bull as yer might say."
"Doesn't like 'em, hey?" Harry said.
"Hates 'em," the man said.
"Eats 'em alive, I suppose," Brent said.
"He'd eat 'em raw, only he ain't got teeth enough," the man said.
Brent said in that funny way he has, "Well, I guess that settles it,we'll hit the trail for the Cross-roads; I kind of like old Grumpalready. I have a kind of a hunch he'll put some pep into thisLewis & Clarke expedition. All we needed to make our joy complete wassomebody to try to foil us."
"Cracky, I hope he tries to foil us," Pee-wee piped up.
"Is he a villain?" Brent wanted to know.
"Wall, he ain't just exactly what you might call a villain," the mansaid, very serious.
Brent said, "Oh, that's too bad. We haven't got a villain for our storyyet. I suppose we'll have to advertise when we hit into Indianapolis.'Wanted, willing and industrious villain; one with some experiencepreferred; good chance for advancement; duties, being foiled by the BoyScouts of America.'"
The man said, "Guess you're a kind of a comic, hey?"
"What's the trouble between old Grump and the kids, anyway?" Harry askedhim.
The man said, "Wall, naow, I'll tell you. Th' major's an old Civil Warman en' he's a great stickler on military training for boys; ain't gotno use for studyin' natur' en' all that kind o' thing. He's daft abaoutthe Civil War, en' he's jest abaout th' biggest old grouch this side o'th' Missippi River. This here reunion o' his, every three years, is thepet uv his heart, as th' feller says. He has th' poor ole veteranslimpin' in from miles araound fillin' 'em up with rations en' givin' 'emshows. He's got money enough so's ter make the United States Treasurylook like a poor relation; and _stingy_!"
"That sounds fine," Brent said; "we'll have him eating out of our hands;we'll have him so he comes when we call him. First I was in hopes wemight fall in with some train robbers----"
"Gee, it isn't too late yet!" Pee-wee shouted.
"But a ferocious old major is good enough," Brent said; "we can't expectto have everything. You're positive about his hating the Boy Scouts, areyou?" he asked the man. "Because we shouldn't wa
nt to count on that andthen be disappointed. It's pretty hard when you think you've found aregular scoundrel and then find that you're deceived. Are you willing toguarantee him?"
"Wall, I wouldn' say exactly as he's a _villain_," the man said; "buthe's a ole wild beast, so everybuddy says, en' I'm tellin' yer not towave no red flag in front uv him with a lot uv this scaout boy nonsense.'Cause he ain't in the humor, see?"
Harry said, "Do you know, Brent, I think the old codger will do firstrate."
"Oh, he'll do," Brent said; "of course, it isn't like finding a pirate,or a counterfeiter, or an outlaw----"
"You make me tired!" Pee-wee yelled. "If Roy's going to write all thisstuff up, we have to have an old grouch, so as we can convert him sortof, don't we, and then he'll--then he'll--what-d'ye-call-it--he'lldonate a lot of money and say the boy scouts are all right. I'll managehim, you leave him to me."
Brent said, "You don't happen to know if he has a gold-haired daughter,do you?"
Gee whiz, I guess that man thought we were crazy--I should worry. Eventhe Uncle Tom's Cabin people were laughing.
Brent said, "Because if our young hero could only rescue old Grump'sgold-haired daughter from kidnappers, perhaps old Grump would comeacross with a real watch that keeps time as a reward for our younghero's bravery. I think we'll have to try our hand with old Grump."
"Are you--are you _sure_ he's mad at the scouts?" Pee-wee wanted toknow.
"Tell us the worst," Harry said.
THE BLOODHOUND BEGAN SNIFFING THE FOOTPRINT.]
CHAPTER IX--MILITARY PLANS
The man put one foot up on the step of the van and said, "Wall, yer seehe owns the Fair Grounds. Thar was a crew uv these here scout kidscamping over in the grove to one side of it, and not doin' no manner ofharm, I reckon."
"That's one good thing about us, we never do any harm," Pee-wee pipedup.
"Wherever they camp the violets spring up," Rossie said.
"Sure, and dandelions and four-leaf clovers, too," the kid shouted.
The man said, "Wall, naow, them kids wasn' doin' no manner uv harm, justcookin' and eatin'----"
"Gee whiz, they have to do that!" Pee-wee told him. "That's one thingabout scouts, they always eat."
"Most always," Harry said.
"En' nothin' would do but he must chase 'em off," the man said. "Some uvthem men who wuz interested in the kids made a rumpus about it, but itweren't no good; old Grump said off they must go, and off they went. Iwuz sorry ter see it too, hanged if I weren't, because they're a bright,clever lot, them youngsters. Oft times when I'd go inter th' Cross-roadswith my old mare marketin', there they'd be in th' grove right alongsideth' road, sprawlin' about and onct, when I come away abaout five o'clockin the mornin', thar they were en' give my old mare a drink out uv th'spring."
"Up early, hey?" Harry said.
"Naow, haow is them kids goin' ter hinder th' reunion? That's what Isay. Poked away off in th' grove right on ter th' end of the grounds.But the ole major, he says they was nuthin' but a lot uv loafers; wantedto know what good they ever done. Why, Lor' bless me, if he'd a madefriends with 'em they might uv helped in the reunion, mightn't they?...Wall, I guess he wuz all piffed abaout the show not bein' able to getthere. Trams east of th' Cross-roads is runnin' all right, but out thisway thar ain't been a wheel movin' in a week, 'cept express trains fromthe east. If I was you fellers I wouldn' go a couple of dozen miles outof my way over a pile of rocks what they call by the name of a road, Iwouldn', jus ter do a favor for an old grizzly bear, I wouldn'. Not me."
Gee whiz, Mr. Abbington looked kind of anxious, because Harry just satthere on the seat whistling to himself as if he were thinking. The restof us were all standing around.
Brent said, "Well, as long as old Grump is a stickler on militarytraining, what do you say we take Grumpy's Cross-roads right under hisvery nose? We'll make our approach from the west, with our dry-goodsdelivery van and three five-passenger touring cars. General Harris willhave charge of the Commissary. First, the signal corps will communicatewith the boy scouts of Grumpy's Cross-roads and advise them thatreenforcements are on the way--in a dry-goods van and three touringcars. The grove on the edge of the parade grounds will be in our handsbefore night. We'll have the Civil War veterans down on their kneesbegging for an armistice."
"Yes, and maybe--maybe--old Major Grumpy will have to go and live in acastle in Holland, hey?" Pee-wee yelled.
Honest, isn't that kid a scream?
X--THE SIGNAL CORPS AT WORK
First, Harry asked if the telegraph office was open, but it wasn't open.The reason was, because there wasn't any there. If that place had been alittle smaller we might have run over it without seeing it and puncturedone of our tires.
Then Brent said, "Well then, you don't happen to have a nice hill handy,do you? We'll return it in good condition when we get through with it."
They didn't happen to have any hills in that village--they were out ofmost everything. Brent said he guessed hills were hard to get. So westarted off again and hit into the road that went to Grumpy'sCross-roads. Gee whiz, if Major Grumpy's temper was anything like thatroad, _good night_! That was what we all said. But we should worry aboutthe road as long as we had all our plans made. Harry said the Kluck carcould eat up the miles all right, but, oh, Sister Anne, if one of themtried eating the miles on that road it would have indigestion, allright. Even Pee-wee couldn't have eaten those.
After we had gone maybe about nine or ten miles we came to a dandy; itwas a kind of a young mountain. Now, on the way along, we had beenmaking up a message that we would send by smudge signal, because wethought that if those other scouts got it, it would be a feather intheir cap and we were thinking about them more than we were aboutourselves. Because a scout is brother to every other scout, see?
So this is the smudge signal that we decided to send, and, _good night_,little we knew what it would lead to. Pretty soon you'll see the plotbeginning to get thicker.
Uncle Tom show will be given as announced. Deny rumors to contrary.
Boy Scouts of America.
Brent said, "If those kids are up as early as old what's-his-name saidthey were, they ought to see a smudge signal up on the top of a hilllike this, and they can notify old Grump. Then later we'll give him theknockout blow. He'll look like a pancake when we get through with him."
That started Pee-wee off--the word pancake. "We'll go riding into thevillage, and we'll kind of have our clothes torn, and we'll look allwhat-d'ye-call-it--weary and footsore--and we'll have all the UncleTom's Cabin company sitting in the touring cars," he said, "and we'llhave a big sign that says _Boy Scouts on the Job_, hey? And maybe we'llgive a parade."
Harry said, "Well, the best thing for us to do now is to parade up thishill and send the message. You see, although assaults are usually madeunknown to the enemy, in this case we'll make a big hit if we start somepropaganda along ahead of us. It pays to advertise, as Jolly & Kidderwould say."
Now it was a pretty steep climb up to the top of that hill, all woodsand jungle. We left the cars down on the road and most of the actorpeople stayed in them, because they were tired and sleepy. Westy stayeddown there so as to cook them some breakfast.
For quite a long distance up that hill we went through thick woods, thenwe came out into an open place where we could look down and see theroad. The autos looked small down there. We could see a little thin lineof smoke going up where Westy was starting a fire. The sun was gettingbrighter and it made Jolly & Kidder's van look all shiny on account ofthe bright paint on it. It seemed funny to see a department store caraway out there in that lonesome country.
Pretty soon we got into more woods and Harry said he guessed there mustbe a trail. But we couldn't find any.
He said, "This is a forsaken wilderness up here."
"I bet the foot of white man never trod it," Pee-wee said; "I bet it'sunknown to civilization up here."
"Well, I guess we're not likely to bunk into any movie shows," Brentsaid.
Jiminetty, but it was some wild place, all right. We had to go singlefile and tear away the brush so that we could get through. Tom Sladewent ahead, because he can find a trail if there is one, and even ifthere isn't he always knows how to go. The farther up we went, the worseit got. We couldn't see the road at all on account of the thick woodsbelow us. Gee, it was so still up there that it was sort of spooky.
"I guess no white man ever trod this solemn wilderness before, as ouryoung friend Scout Harris observed," Harry said; "it gets worser andworser."
Just then Tom Slade stopped and we all stopped in his path. In about ajiffy he was down on the ground. Gee whiz, I knew what that meant, for Iknew Tom Slade.
"It's a footprint," he said.
Just then we heard a sound right near us, just like branches crackling,and in a couple of seconds one of those bloodhounds from the Uncle Tom'sCabin show came dashing up through the bushes. He pushed Tom Slade rightout of the way and began sniffing that footprint. He was so excited thathe didn't notice us.
XI--A MYSTERIOUS FOOTPRINT
First it seemed kind of as if that bloodhound was just scooping; thatmeans using something that another scout has found. If I should find arobin's nest and then another scout should stalk there, that would bescooping. Gee whiz, that's a mean thing to do. Up at Temple Camp a scoutwill get himself disliked for doing that. But it's all right to stalkthe cooking-shack. Pee-wee thinks he's the only one who has a right tohang out there--I should worry.