***
After basketball practice, my sisters and I stayed late to hit the weight room. While the extra routine wasn’t required, Coach had made a point of highly recommending strength training. As I entered the small weight room, I caught sight of Shane among the male athletes. He lifted his chin in greeting, putting down the dumbbells and pausing between sets. I acknowledged him with a brief wave of my hand.
Taylor quieted a squeal from her position beside me. “He is so hot,” she said, trying to casually check Shane out. Beads of sweat slid down his defined biceps, exposed from the athletic tank top he wore. Taylor and Leah walked with me to the mats on the floor, each of us grabbing a medicine ball.
“Are you going to go out with him again?” Leah asked, her eyes roaming the gym as she checked out the older high school athletes sauntering into the room.
“On another date? Nope, that’s definitely not happening again,” I answered, lying on my back and holding the medicine ball in my hands. “Other than basketball, we have nothing in common. Not that I’m interested anyway… Hey, are you two going to do abs with me, or are you just here to check out the buffet?” My sisters snickered, taking one more glance around the room before joining me on their backs.
Gripping the weighted ball, I partnered with Taylor for sit-ups, tossing it back and forth. Leah twisted from side to side, working her obliques. After less than a minute, she said, “Dad called last night.” Her eyes carefully watched my face.
I grunted, returning my focus to the ball. “And?”
I heard Leah sigh. “And he’s wondering if you’re ever going to return his phone calls.”
I heaved the ball harder than necessary, causing Taylor to overextend her reach to catch it. “Hey!” She retrieved the ball. “Come on, Allie, watch it.”
I sat up, resting my hands on my knees. “Sorry, Tay.” To Leah, I said, “What’d you tell him?”
“Just that you had a lot of homework and would call him later. As usual,” she added. I caught her disapproving gaze, which made me feel guilty but also irritated.
“I wish he’d just stop trying so hard,” I said, not really expecting a response. We’d had this conversation too many times. Still, it didn’t stop Leah from commenting.
“He’s our dad, Allie. He made a mistake. How long are you going to hold it against him?”
“I don’t hate him, Leah. You know we get along fine during visits—for the most part. I just don’t feel like being best buddies with him.” I stood up, hoping to end the conversation.
“Ok, whatever,” she said. “Just passing on the message.”
“I’ll catch him next time or something,” I muttered. Dumbbells in hand, I stepped across the floor with low lunges, again not understanding how my sister’s reactions to our life circumstances could vary so differently from mine. Our complicated relationship with Dad aside, I was still trying to adjust to our differences over Maddie’s death. As close as we were on the basketball court, dealing with Maddie’s absence in our lives had already wedged a gap of misunderstanding between us. Leah and Taylor were there, too, at our summer cabin when Maddie died; yet somehow, their lives didn’t seem as hindered as mine did. I often sensed their frustration with me.
Leah and Taylor’s seemingly faster recovery from Maddie’s passing reminded me of when Dad left Mom. I was not yet thirteen the summer when Dad’s secret fling caught up with him. Leah and Taylor’s forgiving nature allowed him back into their lives with more ease than I allowed him back into mine. What was wrong with me that I struggled more than they did in both situations? The burning in my quadriceps broke me from my contemplation. Grateful for the distraction, I moved on to the next exercise.
Shane came over while I concentrated on my triceps, pulling down the bar from my seated position. “Not bad, Collins,” he said, eying the cut in my lean muscles. I blew out air with each pull, trying not to appear self-conscious. He waited for me to finish my set. I released the bar, stretching my right arm across my body.
“Can I help you?” I asked, catching my breath. I swiped a loose strand of hair away from my face, tucking it behind my ear.
“Hostile,” Shane commented with an amused look. “I like it.”
“Hostile—what are you talking about? I’m just in the middle of something.” I stood up to lessen the height difference between us. At five-seven, I was short for a basketball player and had to make up for it with speed and endurance.
“‘In the middle of something’, like that super-important text this morning before class?” Shane’s mouth hinted at a smile. He was teasing me.
“I was totally texting!” I lied. I hated that he’d noticed my discomfort. “What’s it to you, anyway?”
Shane shrugged. “Nothin’. I just think it’s interesting that you’ve been avoiding me all day.”
“I haven’t been avoiding you. It’s not like we have classes together or anything.” I paused for a moment. “What’s with the sensitivity?” I asked, fully aware that Taylor and Leah were gawking at us from across the room, giggling to each other.
Ugh, sophomores.
“Well, you know, it’s hard on a guy’s self-esteem when you go on a date and the girl snubs you.”
“It was hardly a date. You and I both know we were forced into unnecessarily chaperoning two friends.”
Tara and Austin were together right now, spending every bit of their free time at school and now after practice. I was pretty sure I wouldn’t be seeing much of my best friend anymore, aside from our structured basketball practices.
Shane stretched his arms above his head. “Well, I don’t like having a black mark on my record. How about a do-over?”
“You want to go out again?” I didn’t do a good job of hiding the shock in my voice.
“Yeah, why not? Just so we can say we had one good date. It’ll help my confidence.”
I rolled my eyes. This guy didn’t need any help in the confidence department, and he knew it. He didn’t break eye contact while he silently pressured me for an answer. “Ok, what did you have in mind?”
“Well, the boys’ and girls’ varsity team is coming over to my place on Friday. It’s a bit of short notice, but we’re trying to spread the word. If our teams are going to join forces and sell those raffle tickets together for Sectionals, some of the guys and I were thinking we might want to invest in some co-ed bonding.”
I tried not to laugh at what else that might entail.
“That’s your idea of a date? Hanging out with our basketball teammates?”
Shane laughed. “No, but that’s where we can start. We’ll do something afterwards.”
I shrugged. It sounded harmless enough, though I wasn’t sure where this was going. Still, the teenager in me couldn’t help but feel happy that Shane was making an effort to talk to me, despite the flop of our first date. “Sure. I’ll see you there.” I returned to my triceps, ignoring my whispering twin sisters from across the room.