“You are lost in thought,” Zanne said to me as I toyed with my dinner.
“Oh, no I’m just not hungry,” I lied.
I made my way early and claimed a space as close to the balcony as possible. I waited as people filtered in and tried to push me out of the way, but I was determined and held my ground. I had only wiped my face clean to save time. I was certain I looked dreadful, but I hoped recognizable, especially in this foreign crowd.
The ceremony started and I participated, reaching and bowing, waiting for the entrance of the Saans. When they came I could see they were all smiling, they were all proud. To see Olei's smile was wonderful and torturous all at once. I remembered our sweet life together in that smile, but as gleeful as it was, it was also genuine. With shock, I realized it looked like Olei was happy. He spread his arms to join the crowd in the ritual of mimicking the Unmarked Ones. When the Saans joined the ritual they prayed in between motions. Finally, during one prayer, Olei looked down and froze. I smiled closed-mouthed, emotion rushing from my heart and spreading all over my face. He looked away. But he saw me, he knew me, I know it. If Olei knew I was there, he would find me.
I spent my time after that concocting schemes for getting closer to the Saans. I muttered a few questions to other slaves when I felt it was safe. How deep do the mines go? How far do they extend? Where is the Tinea ore delivered? No one really knew anything helpful, or they were too afraid. It seemed every time I spoke to someone I’d turn around to find Bridge ogling me greedily with his big red-rimmed eyes.
Zanne watched over me too. She had become the closest thing to a friend that I had since I started my journey. She didn’t say much, but she was patient and always looked me in the eye, never treating me like the huge anomalous creature that everyone else did. If we worked side by side, she would shoulder just as much of the work instead of relying on my size for all the heavy lifting.
I wish that I had listened more carefully to Zanne when she cautioned me against asking to many questions or straying from our schedule. Because of my curiosity, I would never get another chance to see Olei give the blessing again.
The winter brought heavy rains. In the mines the water levels were rising. There was a spring somewhere near the heart of the Citadel, I'd heard, and it had begun to surge, leaving pools of water for the Tinea to seep into and creating even more treacherous conditions for us workers.
Zanne and I were heaving pickaxes into a seam in the wall, our boots wading in a pool of thick, blackish water. It shimmered on the surface, reflecting the light from some torches. Zanne was humming while she worked, I was enjoying her music as I chipped away at the wall. I had been telling her earlier about the kind of work I used to do, farming mostly, and about my chickens and my bees. Bees? I do not know them, she said.
I set my pick down to wipe sweat from my brow. Zanne ceased for a minute, but not to rest.
“Aneh,” she whispered, then motioned with her head for me to come closer to her. She pointed to a dark cavity in the wall with the tip of her pickaxe. I looked behind me to see if Bridge was watching and when I felt confident he wasn’t, I walked over to where Zanne was looking. In the poorly lit cavern the doorway blended into the surrounding rocks such that I would’ve never noticed from where I stood that such a thing existed. I chipped at the walls around the doorway, trying to inspect the inside. A bright flicker of torch light illuminated the edges of crumbling stairs going up. Zanne looked at me sternly.
“This might be your only chance. Don’t do anything stupid,” she whispered harshly.
“But when Bridge notices I am gone…” I started with fear in my voice, “What will become of you Zanne?”
“Go.”
I quietly placed my axe in the shadows and entered the passageway. The stairs were in a poor state; I crawled up on all fours, feeling with my hands before I moved forward. The air was stagnant and musky like it had been sitting there since the beginning of time. I was reluctant to breathe it though my racing heart wanted more air.
I went on for what seemed hours. As I padded up I thought of what I might do once I was free, how I might hide myself, where I might go. All of this abruptly stopped when I could no longer find another stair to go up. Instead all I felt was ore, chunks of it, rising to the ceiling of the tunnel in front of me. I would have to turn back.
Fear rose in my throat. After every few steps down I would listen for any sign that Bridge had come to get me. But all I could hear were the rhythmic strikes of Zanne’s axe against the wall. At last I saw my axe in the doorway. I gripped it, walked cautiously out of the doorway and went back to work as if nothing had happened.
Minutes passed before I told Zanne what had happened.
She nodded and knelt down to put loose ore into a basket.
I turned towards her again, intending to ask a question. Her eyes got wide as she noticed something behind me and I turned back in time to catch Bridge, mid-swing, mallet in hand. Time slowed as the mallet crashed into my face. On the ground, my head and mouth pounding, I saw him descend like a grinning nightmare, kicking. He snarled, almost spitting his words in my face: stupid coyotie, thought you could escape eh? I knew you’d try to get out you damned fool. I spit out a tooth. Zanne stayed silent – she knew better – but when Bridge's final blow sent me unconscious into the poisoned Tinea water, I knew that Zanne pulled me out.
Chapter 32
Aneh
When I awoke I was achy, nauseated, and afraid to move. I lay there on the stiff bed and listened for noises around me. Silence. Natural light streamed in through a window, illuminating various tiny jars set in the center of a high table. I wondered if the thick door to my right was locked. But wonder was all I could do. Too tired and hurt to care if I was safe or not, I fell back asleep.
I woke again to the sound of sweeping. A thin woman with mousey brown hair and a high-necked dress appeared over me and spoke very fast but I didn't know what she was saying; my mind was still clouded with the haze of sleep. She was asking questions. I tried to reply, but found I couldn't open my mouth. The noises I made were muffled, like quiet whimpers. She paused and looked at me.
"Oh, Dear," she said. "Your face is still so bruised that you can't talk. Pardon me. Must have been quite the accident to have knocked out those teeth and cracked your ribs. Your head was so swollen you looked like a monster! Good thing you are so strong, most mine folk wouldn't have survived. We must feed you something. You haven't eaten for days since you were brought in."
She was kindly, but through all her fussing never made eye contact with me. When she left she closed the door quietly and spoke softly to someone outside. Based on what I had seen in the mines, other slaves would be left for dead or otherwise neglected. Someone was on my side.
The door creaked open and four underlings shuffled in wearing their blue cloaks and spread around the room, keeping a safe distance from me. I watched one with restless hands, another swaying back and forth, staring out into the middle distance. The door shut and suddenly there among them was Olei. In unison they crossed their arms over their chests and bowed their heads.
Confused, aching, and overjoyed, I had only my eyes to try and communicate the gratitude I felt in that moment. He looked at me with almost pitying eyes. I wanted to hold him so badly, I wanted to feel his embrace and his breath on my neck. I wanted him to comfort me, to tell me we would escape, that we could go home.
Instead he just looked. I knew that the Saans wouldn't touch women, especially the one of the Five. It was some relief knowing why he wouldn't come closer, but his presence after so many months of wanting and wishing was torturous.
"Little coyotie, you are truly devoted to come pay homage to the Saans, to have come all the way from your town and only to have fallen into such a tragic situation. Thank Kote we have such fine healers to help you mend safely. I am grateful that you have come to show your faith, and I offer you whatever hospitality I can as SaanKote."
His words were like syrup, sweet and
slow and false. I knew he was covering for me and I should have been grateful for the chances he was taking, but instead I felt betrayed and belittled. I blinked, releasing the tears that had welled in my eyes onto my cheeks. The Saans around the room were nodding and smiling. As far as I could tell they were already loyal followers of this man, their SaanKote, my Olei.
Olei seemed comfortable speaking to me so. He looked elegant in his new robes and older with his hair cut short. Our eyes met, and for a moment I was back in Koyote with him, embracing on the patio, a breeze caressing our faces. He closed his eyes, and began a prayer of healing for me.
Chapter 33
Yossinda
I stood close to Katrine in the solar that SaanObith shared with SaanReas, waiting for Tigus to arrive. From our spot against the wall I could see the cold winter rain splattering against a stained glass window that depicted Fire and Water for elements Obith and Reas. In the background Theodorius chatted on to SaanObith about something, though SaanObith seemed to be rather uninterested. The rest of the Saans were receiving commoners down in the great hall, listening to their qualms and providing solace. My grumbling stomach caught Katrine's attention.
"I won't eat," I whispered to her.
"Good girl," she said, "You look wise and thin, your suffering is good."
It was hard not to blush after being complimented so. I tried to focus on having an empty mind—a task that had become more difficult while living in constant fear of the King and worrying about my sister. My father wasn't as worried about her as he should've been, I thought. This afternoon I was covering for her once again. Good Aethan, help me keep her secret.
"Ah, Tigus, we were afraid you'd lost your way," Theodorius said cheekily as the well-rounded Tigus bustled in.
"Forgive me, Holy Ones," he said before quickly crossing his arms and bowing his head, "I find the Queen difficult to please. There will be a grandchild by the spring season of Reas and more money is needed by the Domi. The Queen finds that your allowances are too sparse. But those are the words of her Majesty, I am only the messenger."
"I hear your pleas, dear Tigus, on behalf of the Queen and the Queen's future, but I'm afraid we cannot offer much more than two thousands," said SaanObith. “It is to our misfortune that the Saans did not receive as much coin as hoped during the season of Obith. This is our most generous offer.”
Theodorius stared at SaanObith with wide eyes.
Tigus continued in a gracious tone. "Thank you SaanObith, that is quite generous of you, but I am obliged to tell you that will not be enough. The Queen asks for at least another thousand."
"You should be grateful, Tigus, for what you have been gifted already," Theodorius snapped. Tigus ignored the little man's snarl.
"I promise you, SaanObith, that the Queen will not relax until she has received what is due to ensure the future of the Domi, will be a healthy and long-lived one. I know you do not want to cross my Lady, she has many secrets of yours..." Tigus paused to look hard at SaanObith and Katrine, "...that she would like to share with the people and the underlings, secrets that would be much harder for the Saans to recover from than a simple gift of one thousand."
SaanObith took a deep breath before answering. "Theodorius, help the man with his request."
A red-faced Theodorius stood up and left with Tigus. Katrine dismissed me with a platter of half-eaten goods, telling me to check in with Dinia while she tended to SaanObith.
I didn't really understand what had just happened between the Domi and the Saans, it wasn't my job to listen to their business. I thought it wise of SaanObith to grant the Queen more monies, she was fair after all and had good reasons for needing the coin. Bless the Domi, I prayed, Let them live long in comfort, Let them be guided by the Unmarked Ones.
Yeidi, of course, had something different to say about it.
My hands were raw from scrubbing the inside of our only cast iron pot. My sister had been watching me labor from her slumped position near the hearth, taunting me with her blasphemous remarks, making no effort to get up and help.
“One day, Yossinda, you will find your Saans are hardly worth even the slightest thought. They are men, just like everyone else. They have their wants, they are liars, they want power. Can’t you see it?”
I hated her as she said this.
“You only see what you want to see, dear sister,” I said as flatly as possible.
“No, you only see what you want to see. You’re just like all the other fools in this city, giving your money to the Saans so they can keep it for themselves. What do you think that they do with all of it anyway?”
“They send Underlings and Brothers out into the world to spread the message of the Unmarked Ones, to tell people of the Saans. They use the money to keep the Houses running. Of course the Saans need money to eat and to survive Yeidi! How can you question their decisions?”
Emotion crawled into my face and I frowned as I spoke. Yeidi raised her eyebrows and smirked.
“Believe what you want, Yossinda. But if you don’t open your eyes soon, it’ll be too late when you finally do. They’re going to use you for all that you’re worth and you’ll find out only after you’re spent that they were lying the whole time. Get out of there while you can.” She said with venom in her voice.
Choking back tears, I threw the cleaning rag at the fireplace. I felt Yeidi’s laughing eyes on me as I fled to the nearest House.
A Reading from the Kin of Aethan, Before the Plague
When the Son of Aethan's peoples had settled and were thriving, there was peace and plenty for all. Yet they began to quarrel amongst themselves. Why do you act against your neighbor? The Son of Aethan asked them. What is it that you seek?
The people were unhappy with their land, with their possessions, with their wives. They did not find their neighbors fair or the ways of the land just. Aethan's son prayed and fasted for guidance, for his people did not see him as they once did. With plenty, they had become changed.
In his dreams, the son of Aethan walked with the Unmarked One across barren fields, the crops dry from heat, eaten by pests. In his vision there were no goats roaming the land, nothing green to rest his eye on. He was led to a clearing where there were but a few people. Though they were sickly and hungry their skin glowed as if full of the aether itself.
When Aethan woke he told his people that if they did not lay down their quarrels they would know thirst so strong they would forget all but the water Element Reas. They would know hunger so fierce that their children would no longer recognize their faces. They would know suffering so powerful that they would beg the Unmarked Ones to take them into the next world but that they would be granted no such mercy.
The people did not cease to bicker and so the Elements were unforgiving. For five and ten years the rains did not come, the crops were plagued by insects and hunger ruled the people. The Son of Aethan suffered with his people, but was comforted by his faith and knowing that suffering was holy. For years they thirsted together, but in their need for water they found their faith and the love of their kin.
Chapter 34
Aneh
My head seemed to swirl for days after Olei and his underlings left my room. For three or four days, the thin brown-haired woman returned, carrying a tray of broth and tea, never looking me in the eye.
"On three, sit up. Can you do that?"
I nodded slowly.
"One, two, three!" The movement sent a millions pinching nerves through my body and I felt like I had just been kicked again. I gasped.
"There there now." She dabbed my forehead with a rag, then sat at the edge of the bed while I caught my breath.
"My Aethan, I can't believe you travelled so far all alone. Your faith must be strong, little coyotie." She reached over and got the broth and a spoon. "Pucker your lips and let the broth trickle through your teeth. " Once again I nodded, suddenly very aware of how hungry I was.
"When SaanKote learned that there was a little injured Koyote here, he ha
d you brought to the infirmary. What a Saan that man is! He has brought so much compassion and life back into the Saans and to the city! Thank him, bless him. Not so many are lucky to get care like this, but there are so many who need it," she paused, "You seem much stronger. Can you feed yourself?"
She handed the spoon and the broth to me. I fumbled with them a little, spilling some on my bed. She cleaned up but kept talking, mostly about how wonderful the Saans were and bless this Saan and thank Terro and so on. I silently vowed to practice talking when I was alone so that I could ask her questions next time she returned.
I awoke later to a soft hand on my forehead. I opened my eyes to see Olei hovering over me. I tried to speak, but my jaw was still frozen shut.
"Aneh…" He said with such sadness in his voice that I started to cry.
"Shhhh. I can't stay long...no one knows I'm here, none of the Saans can know” he was whispering and his words came quickly “...I don't know what they'd do to me if they knew I was touching you! After I saw you that day in the commons I've been seeking you out. I'm sorry it took me so long, there aren't many people I can trust fully, and even their trust runs only so deep...I had to pay the mine warden so much money to buy you...Aneh, why have you come? I wish you would go back and forget me! They think I am a Saan, they treat me like a god...like a chosen one! I've become a part of this religion Aneh, in the most inescapable of ways. I can't envision a way to leave SaanSanti that is not in death. Aneh you should leave this place."
I shook my head and held onto his hands and his wrists, stripped now of the symbols of our pairing. When I looked into his eyes we both knew that I wouldn't leave.
"Aneh," when he spoke my name it was coated in sadness. He moved to bury his head into my lap for a moment, "It will be death for you, if you do not leave. If not physical death, it will be death for your soul. This is not Koyote. Life will be miserable for you, for us. I am not allowed to see you up close, and if the only chances I get are from far away I will spend my life being tortured.