Chapter Seventeen – A Tearful Trip
The ride is quiet. Each of us entrenched in thought.
Finally on the plane, Andrew breaks our silence. “Mia, I know you must be angry with me for casting you into this and your loss, but David’s parents need your support and assurance that they will share their grandchildren’s lives. If you could put this aside for now…”
I interrupt him. “Andrew, I don’t think you caused anything. I am just overwhelmed at everything that seems to be coming from a world I never thought existed. I believe these events have always been out of both our hands. Yet, I still feel guilty knowing that they died because of me, but I don’t blame you.” I reach across to place my hand upon his.
His radiant eyes search mine. “I appreciate you trying to make me feel better, but if I knew how much pain I would have brought you, I would have let Nicholas destroy me.”
His words enrage me. “I’m not trying to make you feel better! You didn’t do this to me. I’m sure of it, so you had better become sure of it too, if you want to help me.”
He kisses my cheek and it tingles. “I promise not to say anything more to upset you.”
Landing, we head straight to David’s parents’ house to assist with any arrangements. Martin looks as if he hasn’t slept and Susanne appears frail, her voice weak.
We spend most of the afternoon going through pictures, talking about David’s wonderful childhood and assuring them that their grandchildren need them to be strong and be part of their life.
Before checking into the hotel, we seek out a restaurant for Martin to have a luncheon after the burial. As the owner grumbles about short notice, Andrew slips him an envelope and assures him that his staff will be given a bonus for working on such short notice.
Checking into the hotel, my parents have yet to arrive. Andrew calls up to Sanctuary.
“Is everything alright back home?” I inquire as he enters my room. It’s funny, but despite everything, it is home with the patients and his family as my extended family.
“It’s going very well. Jackson’s friend from St. John’s who specializes in high risk pregnancies examined the twins and they are going to be fine.”
“Is he sure?” I’m nervous to even hope.
“He is absolutely sure!” His voice sounds confident, without a hint of trepidation.
Tears of relief dew in my eyes knowing that part of my sister and David will live on.
“What can I do to make things easier for you?” He asks softly.
“Would you answer some questions?”
“I thought we agreed to wait until we return.”
“I need to know what you saw at the lake.”
“I don’t want to upset you further.”
I need answers. The time for half-truths and spared feelings have to be over, it’s already cost everyone too much. “I made the biggest mistake of my life when I thought I could outsmart Nicholas. We need to lay all our cards on the table now and work together, no more secrets. I would feel better knowing everything.”
His features express his understanding. He sits at the end of the bed, taking me with him, holding my hands, his eyes never leaving mine. “Nicholas and I were entrenched in battle. We were both going to lose. I was badly injured, but knew I only needed time to mend. I transformed into an eagle to escape, but he transformed into a fox and got me between his razor teeth.” I gasp remembering the frail, blood-stained eagle. “I managed to wrangle free and began flying. Below were dark shadows moving towards the lake with two vampires. They were moving swiftly in a pattern as if searching with the shadows for someone. Then I saw a glimmer of light near the lake. Looking at it, I felt warmth and goodness emanating from the shimmer. The shadows were getting closer to it as the vampires moved closer to a campfire. My siblings were running through the trees looking for me. They chased off the shadows and vampires, but in the process lost sight of where I was coming down. I tried to fly down closer to see what the shimmer was and as I came down, Nicholas swiped me with a paw and I landed near you. You were the glimmer of light.” His bright eyes glow with wonder and some emotion, I cannot quite name, causing my already fluttering butterflies to take flight.
“So you saved us that night.”
“Mia I may have made you more of a target by drawing further attention to how special you are.” His teeth clench.
“I don’t believe that. I think Gabriel is right and I was targeted already. You saved me!”
“I’m not sure about that and even if we did, they may have left you alone after that, like they have left others we rescued. My watching over you after that incident may have made getting you even more attractive!” Anguish fills his eyes.
“Andrew, I believe your presence stopped them and we have been living on borrowed time ever since!”
A soft knock, interrupts our conversation. As I move toward the door, Andrew slips back into his room. Opening the door, my mother looks worn, wary and frail. “Have you spoken to Martin and Suzanne?” She asks weakly.
“We were there earlier helping with the arrangements”
“Do you think they would mind if we went over now?”
“Mom, you look tired and tomorrow is going to be strenuous. Give them a call and then you should rest.”
“How are the babies doing?” Concern is evident in her voice.
“The specialist that looked at them said everything is fine!”
Her face lightens. “Maybe I’ll go call Suzanne.” She rises shakily and I help her to her room.
Shutting the door behind me, I close my eyes, leaning against it. I cannot believe how sickly she looks. Andrew emerges silently from his room. “What can I do?”
Wrapping my arms around his neck, I lean into his chest. “You are doing it right now. I’m just taken aback by how sickly she looks. It’s just so overwhelming.” He strokes my cheek. How in the midst of all this sorrow, could his touching me sympathetically unearth such desire within me? With one simple stroke of my cheek, I feel more alive, even as I am surrounded by death, than I have ever felt in my life. Knowing he can see my flush and is aware of my accelerated heart, I close my eyes, hoping to calm myself. I need him and cannot afford to make another mistake; especially considering what he fears is causing those visions.
The next morning as I step out into the hallway, Stephan is at our parent’s door. Turning, He glowers at me. “I came to pick up mom and dad, unless you plan on getting in the car with them too,” his insinuation clear.
Turning to go, Andrew is glaring at Stephan, his features frightening. “Let’s go!” I start walking but Andrew remains with Stephan, their faces tell me their shared words are harsh. “Andrew, please let’s just go.”
Andrew turns and begins walking, but won’t meet my eyes. “What was all that about?”
His tone is hard. “I just gave him a friendly warning not to start trouble.”
Knowing how my brother hates ultimatums, seeing Andrew’s tension, and not wanting to cause Martin or Suzanne any more grief, I stop walking and grab on to Andrew’s arms. “Please whatever he does, I can handle it. I plan on keeping myself detached. I don’t want David’s parents to suffer anymore, so let me deal with Stephan.”
His eyes blaze, “He should not treat you like that. It’s wrong!”
“We have butted heads most of our lives, promise me, please.”
“Fine, but only for today” He replies stiffly.
The services are moving, but the dinner is tension filled. Friends of Stephan from the hospital insist on reminding me how unfit I am. Andrew keeps his word, but I can feel the stress rolling off of him as he stands still as stone, his face turning fiercer by the minute. At least David’s parents are unaware of all this.
Before leaving for the airport, we take Martin and Suzanne home and retrieve David’s lock box.
Reaching Sanctuary, I look at the ultrasound as Jackson recaps everything his physician friend said. It is the one bright spot
in a very draining day. I go to sit with Katrina and can hear him talking outside the door. “Did she see the room?” Andrew responds. “Not yet. Is everything ready?”
“Everything worked out wonderfully. Even William helped.”
The door opens. “Mia, come back to the residency, Jackson is on duty tonight and you need to rest.” His perfect lips hiding a smirk and his eyes are the beautiful sky blue which I haven’t seen in days.
Entering, Andrew stops to speak with Gabriel, but I’m just too exhausted and continue upstairs. Placing my key in the lock, it doesn’t open. From my peripheral vision, I catch Gabriel elbowing Andrew and they laugh.
Andrew is at my side. “Mia, you have the wrong room.” I look up, but it’s my room. “Come with us.” We walk to the end of the hall and Andrew steps into a room, flicking on the lights. The suite is large and all brand new. Andrew leads me toward the kitchen where I see two high chairs and Gabriel reveals a cabinet full of baby bottles and infant dishes. Stunned, tears trickle down my cheeks. Andrew takes my hand, leading me through the living room to a bedroom with double pocket doors that connect to a beautifully painted pastel room with two cribs, changer and rocking chair. I also see William sketched out trees and beautiful animals on one wall. I’m overwhelmed and my tears flow quicker.
Gabriel laughs. “This is supposed to make you happy, not bring more tears.”
I throw my arms around him. “Thank you.”
His tone is light. “Thank him, it was his idea.”
Andrew interjects. “We all wanted to help.”
I hug him too. “I can’t believe you did this for me.”
Taking my face in his strong hands, “I told you, you will always have a home here and we will help you with whatever you need. Besides, how else will I get you to stay a while longer?” He smiles with humor, but his eyes glisten with sincerity.
My heart pounds wildly at his touch.
I hear Gabriel chuckle as he places his hand on my back. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
Turning, I hug him again. “Thank you. Tell the others, I’m speechless, no one has ever been so kind to me.”
“Don’t worry about anything Mia. We are looking forward to the twins’ arrival. We love children and it will be nice to see happy ones for a change.” His face turns wistful. “I’ll let you relax, today sounded very taxing and I’m sure you could use some rest.”
Andrew wraps his arms around me. “Do you really like it?” He whispers in my ear, sending a sensation of desire down my neck all the way to my toes.
“I am stunned beyond words.” I stretch to kiss him on the cheek. “Thank you just isn’t enough. When I was at the services, I tried picturing what I was going to do and how I could ever face this and you provide not only me a home, but them. You are absolutely wonderful!” Laying my head against his chest, I feel him shake his head slightly as if something is wrong and move to look at him. His expression is torn, maybe even guilty, but of what? “What’s wrong?”
“Mia I have to admit, I didn’t do it all for selfless reasons. I want to help, but can’t stop my desire to have you stay. I thought that if we could make a home for you here, you would stay a little longer.” I can see his warring emotions ripping through his features. “I’m sorry. I know it is not right, especially when I can’t give you a real life with the love you deserve.” His eyes turn unbearably sad.
I can’t stand watching him rip himself apart, especially not after making me so happy on this horrific day. How could he think he is being selfish? It makes me so angry. Nowhere could I find someone better, no matter what eternity brings and yet he cannot see how wonderful, special and perfect he is. I raise my hand gently stroking to his cheek. His features relax slightly as he rests his face in my palm. “Andrew you need to stop beating yourself up every time you do something wonderful for me. I can’t even express my relief knowing I don’t have to face their birth alone! You think you’re selfish for providing a home for us because you may cause me to stay somewhere that I love. That’s crazy!” I bring my other hand up so that I am gripping his face, ensuring his eyes do not leave mine. “I want to be here with you. If that means being like this, I can handle it, can you? You make me feel special. You give me more than most life partners. I’m sorry if that makes you uncomfortable, but it is the truth. I’ve seen couples who don’t share as much, yet you think you’re denying me something, why?”
His face becomes pained. “Mia, you know I can’t commit to you. You know I can’t love you, if I do, you’ll become ensnared…” He moves swiftly from me to the window. His anguish brings physical pain to my heart.
Crossing the room, I again take his face between my hands, forcing him to look at me. “Andrew, I’m not asking you to commit. I know that the thought of what that means is too much for you, but you need to know that I cherish every moment we spend together. This is the first time I have wanted to spend time with someone, so can it be enough for you, without putting unnecessary pressure upon yourself worrying about what you can’t give me and just enjoy what we do share.”
“Look at what I cost you!” He responds his words strangled. “You lost your sister because of me.”
“You are absolutely wrong!” I retort angrily. “I had her longer because of you and now will always have a part of her. If it wasn’t for you, I would have lost her that day at the lake and God only knows what carnage I would have witnessed. You may not believe that, but I’m sure of it and I know you will do everything to protect her lineage now. Andrew, trust me enough to stop fighting against wanting to be with me. In you I find peace, so let me bring you some peace!” Stretching, I kiss him on the cheek, allowing my lips to linger.
His sculptured features soften and hope shines in his eyes. “You really mean that don’t you? Are you sure this is enough for you now?” He sounds unsure.
“I have never been so sure!” I state confidently.
His arms encircle me, tightening around my waist and my heart pounds disjointedly. Lifting me off my feet, he swings me around. “Thank you for bringing the first spark of life to me in almost five hundred years!” He kisses my head and spins me again. I feel dizzy and hold his arms tightly when he puts me down waiting for the feeling to stop.
His face is peaceful now. “You should try to rest.”
“I need to go through David’s box.”
“Would you like to go through it alone?”
“No, I would much rather you with me.”
The box contains a trust set up for me and the children which includes the house and several insurance policies, CD’s, a letter addressed to me, one to Stephan and his parents. Andrew’s mouth drops as he looks over the insurance policies.
“What’s wrong?”
“The policies pay double indemnity and are worth millions.” His mood is somber.
Knowing why, I try to combat it with humor. “I hope you don’t think you can get rid of me just because I can afford a home now. I’m staying right here where there are at least ten other hands to help with those midnight feedings, especially where none of you sleep.” He laughs.
“Seriously Andrew, I don’t want to use the money for myself, I’d like to ensure David’s parents are taken care of and put away the rest for the twins when they get older. I like my job and the wonderful people here, unless you think it would be too much of a burden.”
His face moves toward mine, my heart thrums like revving race car as he kisses my nose gently. “You are never a burden and we can help set up whatever you want.” As I reach for my letter, he places his hand on mine. “You’re exhausted. You can finish this tomorrow.”
“I want to go back to work. Eva has been pulling my weight for too long.”
His beeper goes off and as he heads out, I begin reading.
Dear Mia,
If you are reading this, it means something happened and you now have the awesome responsibility of continuing to raise our children. I am writing this on
the day I signed guardianship papers and we are expecting twins. I don’t know how old they will be when you get this or if we will have other children, but I want you to know that I thought long and hard about who I would want raising our children if something were to happen. You used to tease me about my type A personality, but if you are reading this then you will understand why I’m glad that it allowed me to plan ahead.
I know that you will be afraid of doing something wrong, but don’t be. You have always been a strong person. You thrive when your back is to the wall to do the right thing and I hope that you’ll instill that same tenacity in them. Trust yourself, you will make mistakes, everyone does so don’t be afraid to admit them, even to the children. My parents did and it brought us closer and taught me the importance of getting back up and trying again.
I know you’re wondering why I picked you. You are the only right choice and knowing how fate sometimes throws unexpected curves, I don’t want to be unprepared, not where my children are concerned. I love Katrina, but I see the harshness in her from your rigid upbringing. Mine was so different and I hope to provide our children a balance. You do not have that rigidity, you fought against it, wanting more for yourself. You tried to compromise and fit the mold that people imposed and I know you suffered greatly when that failed. I’m sorry for not helping to pick you up or giving you support.
Katrina has shared your newest emails and it appears you found peace now. I hope that your struggles are over, but never forget what it felt like to be pushed in the wrong direction. You have a wise understanding of what people need. All of your experiences have shaped you into the only answer for me to guide our children if we cannot do it ourselves.
I know that with children comes sacrifice in both your career and lifestyle, and hope that the financial security I have provided will assist in the awesome responsibility of raising them and for the sacrifices to your career. If you have problems, my lawyer’s name is written on the documents and he can help. Please make sure, if my parents are alive, that they have a role in my children’s upbringing. They did well with me and I want my children to know their family. Finally, there is a letter for them and your brother. Please make sure they get them. I know Stephan can be stubborn, but my letter should stop him if he causes trouble. There are also CD’s for the children which I will add to with time. Love David.
A sob escapes my clenched teeth, opening the floodgates. I scrunch my eyes tightly closed hoping to stop the streaming tears. I did not hear him, but his cool arms are around me, his hand stroking my hair. “Everything will be alright!” He says fiercely. “Did the letter upset you?”
“No, it’s beautiful.” I hand it to him.
Leaning back on the couch, taking me with him, he holds up the letter. “He’s right, you are special, you can’t be afraid to make mistakes and we will be here to help for as long as you want.”
“Yes, but will you say that when I’m looking for someone indestructible to teach them how to drive?” I chuckle trying to lighten my mood.
“I will always be here for you.” He leans down to kiss my forehead, but I stretch and kiss his cheek. As my lips linger against his porcelain skin the tingling sensation in my lips spreads out, energizing every muscle in my being. I desperately fight my urge to throw him down on the couch, kiss him passionately, and lose myself in the heaven that is Andrew. I can feel his tension mounting the longer my lips linger and wonder if now he can also hear my thoughts, the way we seem to share some images. Leaning back, he mutters distracted. “You had better get to bed.” He rises to leave.
Grasping his hands, I interlace our fingers, rise and start backing up toward the bedroom. His eyes widen and I know he is aware of where I’m heading. He stayed with me in Minnesota and nothing happened, not even a flash. “Do you remember how in Minnesota you commented on how comfortable the beds here are? Besides, I would hate to tell everyone that they did all that work for nothing. Andrew, I’m not looking for anything other than sleep.”
I hear him take in a jagged breath as he eyes me cautiously but I’m determined that he will find nothing but humor. “I remember, but considering what happened here the night before we left, I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
Bringing our intertwined hands up to his face, I gently run the back of my hand from his temple, following his jaw line to his chin until my index finger brushes his lips. “Andrew, I know you’re worried that what we saw was some sort of trick by him, but have you ever experienced anything like that before?”
He shakes his head.
“Even you noticed you looked different. Maybe with everything that was happening, I had a weird dream and you had the misfortune of sharing it with me, that’s all.” He parts his lips to say something, but I hold my finger steady, I don’t want him to over think this. I need him. I need to be with him, to feel him beside me and to have him fall in love with me, despite the danger. I can’t allow him to drift away from me. I love him. He is the piece of my heart that has always been missing.
He inhales deeply and I can feel him drawing his line in the sand as he shuffles back from me. “I think you’re wrong, but even if that were true, that would not explain the incident in New York.” His eyes take on a steely resolve. “Mia, I can’t risk you, you need to understand that.”
He’s putting up a wall between us. If I allow him to go tonight, to fortify that structure, he will never admit that he has feelings for me, that he loves me. Taking a step forward to close the gap between us, I release his hand, moving my hands around his waist and placing my head against his muscular chest. I know what to say to make him stay. “Andrew, please I need to be close to my friend tonight, I’m so overwhelmed by everything that has happened over the past few days. I need to sleep. I sleep best wrapped in your safe embrace, knowing that you keep watch so that nothing can happen to me.”
He stiffens as my words sink in. He steps out of my embrace. His features give me no indication of which way he will move next. Staring into my eyes, he takes my hands, and hesitantly walks toward the bedroom. I can feel myself relax as he wraps the comforter tightly around me before coming next to me.
“Thank you.” I whisper.
“Sweet…” He stops and I know why. “Good night.” He whispers as I curl into his side.