“Have you seen her lately?” he asked and opened his eyes to look at me.
“Once since we brought you back, I didn’t speak to her though,” I replied and touched the platinum curls on the top of her head. “I just can’t believe that I could live in a world where I died and was reborn just so I could watch my children die slowly.”
I looked up and he was gone, and Ryder stood there watching me. “We still have time.”
“No, we don’t,” I whispered and looked up at him. “I can’t do this,” I sobbed as I held the sweet girl closer. “I can’t watch her die,” I exhaled a shuddering breath.
“Synthia,” he whispered.
“It’s not fair! I haven’t even had time to get to know them, their personalities, what they like,” I cried.
He sifted out and I continued to hold my daughter, knowing that everyone else was afraid to be in this room. They knew what I did. That we’d run out of time and we were going to lose them.
*~*Ryder*~*
She’s hanging on by a thread, a single tattered one that was fraying and letting go. She’s been so strong for so long that the idea of losing our child is crippling. I know the feeling; I felt it when I lost her. I know that emptiness all too well, and death’s cold hand as it gutted me. Now I’m fighting time, to prevent it from stealing her and our children. I had seen enough of this to know that Kahleena is just the first to sicken and without the blessing they need, the boys will probably be next.
I know if we lose a child, she’ll be devastated. And if we lose all three, she will most likely give up or go inside of her mind as she did with Larissa. Maybe not right away, but eventually, she’ll fade away. She already is, even though she’s fighting it. In the last week, she’s watched as our daughter ate less and moved less, and still, she’s fought to stay alive. She is so tiny, and yet she has the fight inside of her that her mother has. I need them both to continue fighting until we figure it out.
“How’s Syn?” Sinjinn asks, his eyes searching my face and then dropping a slew of curses. “We’ve run out of time. That tiny little lady is just like her momma, she needs to keep fighting.”
“Indeed.”
“Ryder,” Zahruk said as he walks into the room and stops. “I…” he pauses and I watch as his throat bobs. “She’s alive still, right?”
“She’s getting worse, but she’s a fighter.”
I’m holding my emotions in, but I want nothing more than to mow down the Mages and kill every last one of them. Ristan hadn’t seen Synthia or the children in my future and we’re beginning to think this is why; because we somehow fail and lose them all.
“Have the Pixies found anything?” I ask, and turn away from my men.
“No,” Zahruk says as he places a hand on my shoulder, and speaks. “We’ve figured out a way to help Synthia. Well, one we think will help cheer her up a little bit. Between me, Ristan, and the girls, we sorta think bringing in some Human holiday crap might work. It is the Winter Solstice on Tèrra right now, so it is their time for holidays and she is missing it this year. Humans seem to enjoy their holidays so we figure it can’t hurt. Ristan has already cast an illusion in the Pavilion to make it look like her hometown, and we’ve begun decorating.”
I exhale and shake my head. “You think taking her home will make her forget our daughter is dying?” I snarl, and then shake it off. “We can try, but don’t be offended if she doesn’t care. She’s breaking, and all I can do is watch as she shatters.”
“She’s a warrior, and a damn fine one at that. She might break for a while, but Synthia will always get back up. It’s just how she’s made, and that’s part of the reason you love her.”
*~*Synthia*~*
Ryder walked into the nursery, his eyes slowly taking me in as I stood beside the crib. I’d moved all of the babies into one crib, and Kahleena slept with her brothers on either side of her. Always protecting her, as brothers should.
Ciara had come in and we’d spent time with them and I knew she’d done it to watch over me more than the babies, but it didn’t bother me. I was prepared when Ryder wrapped his arms around me and kissed my cheek. “How is she?” he asked.
“She’s better with her brothers beside her,” I whispered.
“I have a surprise for you,” he said against my ear as he looked down at our children, “and for them as well.”
I looked up at him, and tried for a brave smile, but it wouldn’t reach my eyes and we both knew it. Reality was harsh, and even though I wanted to stay here where the babies were safe and protected from the world, I knew it wouldn’t keep them from what hunted them—the consequences of our failure to break the spell on the Tree.
“I’ll go,” Ciara said softly.
“No,” Ryder said, his eyes moved around the nursery to where Darynda had just walked in. “We’ll need everyone for this.”
He had everyone wrap the babies in warm blankets, and I carried Kahleena, while Ciara carried Zander and Darynda carried Cade, with Cailean walking behind them. As we walked to the pavilion, all of the Fae we passed in the corridor stopped to look at us; some with wonder on their faces as the new princes and princess were carried to whatever surprises their father had waiting for us.
When we stepped through the doors to the pavilion, I felt a tear as it slid down my cheek. The pavilion was filled with snow, and the temperature was chilled with the crisp bite of a deep freeze, just like it would have been in Spokane had we been there still.
The entire pavilion had disappeared, and in its place was Ryder’s glorious mansion in Spokane—or the image of it, anyway. It was decorated in Christmas lights, as was the fountain and the small shrubbery surrounding it. It was night, and as I looked up into the stars above, I smiled, noting they’d gotten every detail down perfectly, including the bright North Star which was even darker on the black-blue canopy of the sky.
The windows of the mansion were aglow from within, filled with warmth, and the enormous doors were open in welcome for our group’s approach. I moved to them, noting that the crisp air would be too much for the little ones, and was thankful for Ryder’s foresight and for swaddling them in thick blankets.
We stepped to the doors, and I looked around watching as Brownies and Fae women rushed around the main entrance, which had a ginormous Christmas tree set up that reached to the elegant glasswork ceiling. As I watched, a Brownie moved forward and with help from me, she took my cloak and then smiled.
“Merry Christmas, mistress,” she whispered and smiled.
“Merry Christmas,” I replied back and then felt my heart thump. “I forgot Christmas,” I whispered and felt my stomach drop.
“You’ve been dealing with a lot, so we figured you deserved this,” Ryder whispered against my ear. “I want our children to know your world as well as mine.”
I turned to look at him as tears slipped from my eyes. I’d forgotten Christmas, and he, a male who’d probably never even cared about it, had remembered it. “Thank you,” I whispered and watched as he accepted Zander from Ciara, who then proceeded to rush to the huge chocolate fountain that was set up off to the side of the intricate staircase.
Others continued to come in behind us, and as I cast a questioning look at Ryder, he explained. “It’s the Winter Solstice on Tèrra right now so Christmas will be in a few more days for the Humans. On the Winter Solstice, most of the Fae give thanks to and honor the Goddess for another fruitful year. For almost sixteen years, when we were staying regularly on Tèrra, we held it at the lake near the mansion. This year we’ve settled on the pools outside in the gardens. The Mages have screwed up some traditions, but not this one.”
Everyone was laughing, and stamping off the snow as they entered the mansion. They then moved into the large room situated off the entryway, which held a grand fireplace. The Yule log burned, and I smiled, wondering just wher
e they’d taken these traditions from. It looked as if Christmas had met Hanukkah, and they’d had a baby…which was this room. The huge chandelier that was hanging above the mantel was lit with candles, which increased the glow from the fire. Hundreds of other candles burned in sconces along the walls and evergreen boughs were strewn along the walls and banisters.
Mulled cider was being passed around in crystal goblets, and the scent of Christmas was heady as more of the men showed up. Everyone was wearing robes of bright Christmas colors, and I smiled.
“Come,” Ryder said as we made our way through the room to one of the large comfy couches that were arranged around the fireplace.
I rearranged Kahleena’s blanket and sat beside Ryder as Darynda passed us Cade. I caught sight of the Demon who was watching us. His eyes smiled as he took us in. I narrowed my eyes on him as he stepped closer.
“Not quiet what I saw for the future, but it’s still one worth fighting to keep,” he mumbled as he rubbed his temple as if trying to figure something out.
“You saw this?” Ryder asked.
“Yes, and no,” he admitted as he bent down to kneel in front of us. “I saw us here, after the mansion was destroyed. Only one child was here, a son with blue eyes and black hair.”
I didn’t speak, because it hit home at that moment, how many times he’d told me that just because he’d seen something didn’t make it real. A simple wrinkle could change everything. He stood back up after kissing Kahleena’s nose and walked away to where a female stood across the room.
“Olivia isn’t here,” I whispered.
“No, he took her to his quarters yesterday and I don’t anticipate anyone seeing her anytime soon. We don’t question it,” Ryder said as he rearranged the two boys in his arms. I watched them as their eyes grew alive as they watched the merriment of the Elite Guard as they pulled women onto an expanse of empty flooring at the other end of the room and began to dance.
“They are watching the men,” I said as I turned to watch them myself. “Oh, I’m not so sure they should be watching that…”
“They’re boys,” he said, as if it explained it all.
“So they get to watch the men’s frolicking and playing stick the pickle in the jar?” I asked, and watched as he did his best not to laugh.
“Stick the pickle in the jar? Please, elaborate on that…or, if you feel so inclined, show me,” he whispered.
“Fairy, you’re incorrigible,” I groaned. I called out to the men. “Hey, knock it off would ya? You need to keep it PG!”
They only smiled and winked as they continued to grind against the willing women. I watched as Ristan continued speaking to the woman in the corner, her eyes alight with whatever he’d said. Only he didn’t look as if he was as interested as his companion was.
“Is he sick?” I asked absently.
“Who?” Ryder asked.
“Ristan. He’s sorta ignoring his companion and doesn’t seem too interested in what she’s offering,” I whispered quietly.
“No, but if he’s turning down…”
“So help me God, Ryder,” I hissed. “Watch what you say around the babies.”
“I was going to say tail,” he said with a wicked grin.
“Sinjinn!” I said as he passed us.
“Yes?” he asked as he looked down at me.
“Hold your niece,” I said as I handed Kahleena over without waiting to see what he would say.
He took her, and I stood, and pointed at the couch as if to tell him to plant his ass there. I wanted my children to stay put with their badass father. I however, was going to catch a Demon by the toe and make him holler.
I spared a glance back at the couch and stopped. Sinjinn held her away from him, but in his lap. He stared down at her as if she was too precious to touch, as if he’d break her, but Ryder was on it. He showed him how to cradle her, and protect her head from moving too much. Kahleena’s eyes were closed, unlike her brothers who watched the men still.
I turned away with a heavy heart and headed for Ristan. He was still rubbing his temples as the woman…I think it was anyway, it was tall and grayish in color and it was hard to judge some of the sexes of these things, so hey, I guessed anyway.
“Demon,” I said and watched as he turned towards me.
I grabbed his hand and we both froze.
The room was gone.
I looked at Ristan, and then we both looked around us.
The Tree was there, and still frozen. Around the giant Tree was moss, layered in ice. The tiny Fairies flittered here and there as they moved around it, working together to try to thaw it. I swallowed and shook my head and then wondered how the hell we’d gotten here.
“What the hell did you do?” he asked, and I watched his eyes as they swirled.
“We’re in a vision? But whose is it, yours or mine?” I asked, and he shook his head.
My heart pounded, and I felt as if something was inside of me, and yet there was nothing. I felt pain and chaos. Loss was everywhere, and it felt as if I was bleeding out from the inside. I felt rage at the violation, and confusion for why someone would harm me. It was a mass of emotions, and confusion. They weren’t my emotions, so what was it? The Tree? Maybe.
“I have only had one vision in the past two months, Synthia,” Ristan said, pulling me out of the mess of feelings. “This one isn’t mine.” He looked at me curiously. “Maybe part of your new powers.”
“They come,” I whispered and felt a sliver of hope. Only it wasn’t my hope I felt, so whose was it?
I watched as hundreds of Fae sifted in, and we were with them. We carried the children and placed them on the ground in front of the Tree. Only they weren’t alive.
“No!” I shouted as my world spun apart. I fell to the ground and shook my head as I placed my hands over my ears to block out the noise level. “No, I won’t let this happen!”
“We can’t stop it if we can’t unfreeze this fucking Tree. You can do it,” Ristan said as he picked me up and held me against him. “Think. Flower, you’re the Goddess of Faery. You can see the path, now think. Time’s running out, and I can’t bring you here again.”
I looked at Ristan, only he wasn’t the Ristan I’d come here with. He was the other one, the one living in the vision. It was as if somehow, or some way, he’d brought me here from the future. I was starting to consider shit like drugs, magic mushrooms. Just what the hell was in the cider? “See it, see them. You can do this. You’re one of the strongest women I know, and you never give in. Save her, save them all,” he said, and I turned to see countless babies, all dead. “Only you know the way to undo this. You’ve always had it inside of you, use it.”
“I don’t know how to unfreeze it,” I whispered brokenly. “They can’t die,” I cried. “Ristan, show me how!”
“I can’t. I’m not the Goddess of Faery. There was a reason you were reborn as the Goddess of the lands; think, Flower. You have the answers. Look for them.”
I was shown so much more, and yet nothing at the same time. Time changed. We changed. Everything changed. The world spun and continued on as I watched it from afar. As if I was a bystander, and I was being shown glimpses of things that could happen. It made absolutely no sense, but I knew if I searched…and continued to, we’d find the way. It started at the Tree, and we were meant to be there. Now.
Chapter Thirty
I gasped for air and felt hands on me. I screamed for Ristan, but it was Ryder who held me. I looked around the room as everyone in it stared at me. I gulped in air, and that’s when I caught sight of her. Danu stood where Ristan had, but unlike when she was normally around, she looked almost transparent.
“Save them,” she whispered and faded to nothing. I shook the remnants of the vision from my mind and turned to the partygoers.
“I think
I know how to save the babies,” I whispered.
“What the fuck just happened?” Ristan asked, his fingers grasping my chin as he raised my eyes to meet his. “Your eyes swirled.”
“I touched you, and then I was at the Tree,” I said excitedly. “I was given a vision, yes, but you were there with me. Only it was another you. Like you’d pulled me through time to tell me what we needed to do. I know how to save her,” I whispered breathlessly and then amended it. “I know how to try to save her, and I think it will work.”
“You had a vision?” Ristan asked as he watched me carefully. “Synthia, I can’t do time jumps, and I can’t pull people through time, either. It’s impossible.”
“You gave it to me, and you were there. It was weird, but who the hell cares? We have to gather everyone!”
“Synthia, we don’t know who gave you that vision or why you had it,” Ryder said as he stood in front of me, our children sat with Ciara and Sinjinn who stared at us.
“I don’t care. It’s not like we have a choice. She’s dying, Ryder. Dying. Time is up. We need to get to the Tree. Everyone, as many Fae as we can get there, all the Castes…no exceptions. I won’t just stand here and watch her die. Neither will you, because if I have to duct tape your ass to my back and carry you the entire way there, I will. You understand me? Because I’m willing to spell it out for you and show you in very vivid details if that’s what you need.”
“And if you were given that vision by the Mages?” he asked carefully.
“I don’t think it was the Mages,” I explained. “Ristan was there, and he told me I know the way. He said it was inside of me, and that there was a reason I had been reborn into what I am. We need to take everyone with us, because there’s a chance we will have nothing to come back to.
“What does that mean?” Ryder asked carefully.
“I know I’m not making a lot of sense right now, but I need for you to trust me, I know it’s asking a lot, Ryder. I don’t know how to explain it, but I can feel it, as if it’s inside of me. I know for a fact that we need to get to the Tree. Trust me,” I begged, and watched as he nodded.