“I trust you, but if we do this, we could all be walking into a trap, which could be very bad. Synthia, if we take all of the leaders of each Caste, who will be left to protect the people if we die?” Ryder asked softly.
“I don’t know, but I do know this. Our daughter is dying and we need to save her. We need to do this as fast as we can and, even if it is a leap of faith; it’s one we can do together. Besides, the Mages won’t expect the numbers we’re bringing. They’d be committing suicide if they tried anything and they’re not that stupid.”
“Synthia,” he said as he placed his hand in mine. I showed him the vision, and watched as he stared in wonder at me. “Jesus,” he said and smiled. “You know this could be a trap, and we’d be walking right into it. I just got you back, woman. I don’t want to lose you again.”
“You didn’t feel what I did,” I said calmly. “It was real, and I have to believe that we have a chance. I can’t live in a world that doesn’t accept my children, and if I am the Goddess of Faery, this world needs me. I can’t be the one to walk away without trying. I will not do this, so either we do it together, or I go alone,” I said the last as I turned to Ryder.
“We do it together,” he said softly. “This is something my people may not understand, but they’ll follow. You’ll need to explain it to Adam, Kier, and your family. If it even offers us a chance to save our children, I’d follow you. So take us, Pet. Wherever you go, I’ll follow.”
*~*~*
I paced in the floor of the nursery with guards posted outside the doors. Ryder had helped and together we’d securely tucked the babes in their cribs. I’d ended up ruining the Christmas celebration, but for the moment it didn’t bother me. It was the pain I’d felt all of a sudden that put an end to all the fun for me. I felt as if I was crawling out of my skin, and yet I could feel the pain as if it was my own. I had no idea where, or why I felt it, only that I did.
It was as if a gate had opened up and everything had rushed through it at once. I didn’t know how to contain it or push it away. So I met it head on, and even though I wanted to fall to my knees screaming, I somehow remained upright and on my feet.
“Synthia,” Adam said as he approached me, his eyes alert and on edge at my jumpy behavior. I couldn’t help it, though; I felt as if I was a conduit, and everything was filtering through me.
“It’s almost time to go to the Tree,” I said as I hugged him gently.
One minute we were both in the nursery, and the next we stood in front of the Tree. I gasped, as Adam looked around and then looked back at me in confusion.
“What the hell was that?” he asked.
“I think my powers are coming in. I just pictured the Tree, and I guess since I was touching you, we ended up here together,” I said as I released him to look around.
“Give me your hand, Synthia,” Adam said carefully. “It’s not safe out here; we need to go back to the babies.”
“I know,” I said watching as the Fairies worked with fire to thaw the Tree of Life. The lush glow that had once filled the massive rowan now did so from within the ice and frost that wrapped around it and drifted down over the roots. “I’m afraid, Adam,” I whispered.
“I know; I’m worried too,” he replied honestly as he pulled me in and hugged me tight. “We’ve been through a lot, but it’s just another hurdle and we will fix it,” he said assuring me.
I gave him my hand and he sifted us back to the nursery where Ryder stood glowering at us. “What the fuck?” he growled.
“Syn’s powers are coming in,” Adam said with a smirk on his lips. “She thinks it, and it happens.”
“Is that so?” Ryder asked as he lifted a dark brow.
“Yeah, remember the shower incident?” I asked rubbing the back of my neck. “Remember your shower and me on my knees?” I asked.
“Shit,” Adam said as he detangled our limbs. “Don’t need to know this stuff.”
“Totally PG…Mmm, on second thought, it was like R-rated. Anyway, I think I’m gaining some of my new powers, but I’m not sure how to stop them.”
“Pet,” Ryder growled. “It better have been nothing—”
“No, not the R rated crap, the PG part. I think I’m getting some of my powers, or something. I don’t know. Danu isn’t answering me and it’s not like I have a lot of people who know what the hell is going on with me!”
I moved to Ryder and placed my hand on his arm and a bed popped into my mind.
We landed with a thud on a bed, and I growled. “Dammit,” I said as I fought to sit up as his arms pulled me down.
He smiled wolfishly. “You thought of a bed when you touched me?”
“Not on purpose,” I whined.
“Can I help you?” Zahruk asked from the bathroom door where he stood with a towel wrapped around his lean hips and a lazy smile on his face. “You do have your own bed, brother.”
Feminine laughter echoed from the bathroom behind him. I blinked and wondered just who it was inside his bathroom. I knew he could clean himself with glamour, so whatever they’d been doing in there, it wasn’t showering. I narrowed my eyes on him and tried to recall if I’d ever actually seen him without weapons on.
“Mine’s about to be full, so I suggest you get going,” he growled and crossed his heavily tattooed arms over his chest.
“Ewww!” I grabbed Ryder’s hand. Making a mental note that I would have to be really specific in my thoughts going forward as I had never seen Zahruk’s quarters before and there were worse places I could have had us wind up at. I shook my head in disgust as I thought about Adam.
We fell on him.
“Fuck!” he shouted as Ryder sifted off of him and looked at me, tangled with Adam on the floor.
“Fuck a rubber duck! Danu! Get your Goddess ass here, now!” I shouted, but nothing happened. “This sucks! It’s worse than sifting! Ouch,” I said as pain coiled in my stomach.
“Synthia, what aren’t you telling me?” Ryder asked as he moved to help me up.
“I feel her pain, and it is raw and fucking beautiful,” Asrian said as he came around the corner of the nursery doors.
“That’s not good,” I said as I watched his eyes glowing as he fed. From me. My pain was his food of choice at the moment.
“She’s feeling enough pain that I’m full, brother,” Asrian said as he watched me as if he was afraid to let me out of his sight. I stepped back, not out of fear, but because Ryder looked as if he wasn’t sure if he should attack, or be amused.
“Describe it,” Ryder growled after a moment of uneasy silence had passed.
“I’ve never felt anything like it before,” Asrian said smoothly as he stepped closer, his lime and grass-green eyes glowing like a beacon. He was normally pretty reserved aside from the occasional smart-ass comment; right now he looked as if he was intrigued.
“Stop looking at me like I’m a Fairy buffet,” I said, and turned back to Ryder.
“You are,” he said sheepishly as he rubbed the back of his neck.
“Adam,” Ryder said as he watched me. “Synthia, wait here for me.”
“We need to go,” I pointed out.
“Yes, but we need a plan before we move or take our children anywhere,” he argued and I hated that he had a point.
“Fine, Fairy,” I conceded. He placed a gentle kiss on my forehead and smiled.
“Synthia, try to stay in this room until I get back,” he said as I looked up at him.
“Do not kiss my forehead, please,” Adam said with a wink at me.
“Why would I kiss you?” Ryder asked and I hid the smile as he looked at Adam in confusion.
“You wouldn’t,” Adam said with a wide grin.
“Watch her,” Ryder said and sifted out.
I felt like I was jonesing for a fix, and t
hat Tree was it. I’d pretty much told Ryder that we had to leave his castle unprotected and just get everyone to the Tree. I knew I was asking a lot, but we needed as many beings as possible to be at the Tree for Danu to gain her full strength and power to bless our children.
The Tree being enshrouded in ice was still a problem, and yet I knew somehow if I could just get there, that we could fix it. Ristan disappeared right after I had come out of the vision, so I couldn’t ask him about the visions and his sounded as if they were different from the one I had.
I needed to speak to Danu, and she hadn’t answered my call for days. She was probably dealing with her spousal issue, or whatever you wanted to call it. Hopefully she’d had more luck than we had if she was looking for a definitive way to remove the spell on the Tree. If she could break her husband, we could have a huge advantage for the upcoming war.
“Synthia,” Adam said as he held his long tapered fingers out for me as he pulled out one of the chairs in the nursery.
“Adam,” I said with a small smile on my lips and took the seat he offered.
Adam scooped Kahleena out of the crib and passed her to me, and picked up Cade who was fussing for a bit of attention.
“You really think you can do this?” he asked as Cade stared up at him.
“I do,” I whispered as I rubbed her cheek to try to get her to feed from the bottle. “It’s crazy how much has changed in our lives in so little time.”
“I wish you’d have called for me before you’d gone all Leeroy Jenkins into the Guild,” he said. “I still can’t believe it’s actually gone.”
“There wasn’t time. I feared that if we waited, we’d have lost both Alden and Ristan. Ristan still isn’t back to himself yet, and Olivia is his personal toy right now, or at least that’s what I gathered from Zahruk.” I frowned. “Actually, that sounds like something the Demon would say. Anyway, they’re keeping an eye on him, since he hasn’t been this out of it since Alazander took his wings and tail. Did you know Demons really do have horns? Like actual swear-to-God horns.”
“No,” he said and smiled as Cade cooed. “You have three babies,” he said and lifted his tricolored eyes to meet mine. “And you’re actually getting married this time, unless someone else steps in and kidnaps you,” he said with a wicked grin on his lips.
“I don’t think anyone would dare try to steal me from Ryder, not now.”
“Faolán is still out there,” he said as he continued to watch me. I blinked and noted that he’d frozen, and I looked up to find Danu standing over me, watching Kahleena.
“You have to get her to the Tree,” she whispered, and I noted that yet again she was a mere shimmer of light.
“What’s wrong with you?” I asked softly as I placed the bottle aside and really took her in. She had a red dress on, but where she was normally vibrant, she looked pale and tired.
“You feel it as well, now,” she whispered softly as she touched Kahleena’s forehead. “The pain and torment; there’s a reason I made you the Goddess of Faery, Synthia.”
“Can we skip the riddles? My daughter’s life—your granddaughter’s life depends on it.”
“Don’t you think I would if I could? Think, Synthia, who is watching us? When a Goddess is born, she’s given powers for a reason. Why would I make you the Goddess of Faery?”
“Who is watching us?” I looked around.
“Synthia, stop thinking like a Human or Fae, and started acting like the Goddess of Faery!” she shouted and I flinched.
“I am!” I growled and moved to place the sleeping girl in her crib. “I am thinking like the Goddess, but I don’t know why I was given that damn vision, or how to fully articulate what it needs!”
“Why are you shouting, and who are you talking to?” Adam asked, and I spun around to look where Danu had stood just seconds ago.
“Nobody, obviously,” I whispered.
“You think Destiny knew you’d be this person, the Goddess of Faery?” he joked but my mind was back on the Tree.
“We’re running out of time. We have to go now,” I whispered as a sliver of unease passed through me.
Chapter Thirty-One
Ryder had called all of the Elite Guard to the war room to finalize the logistics of getting that many Fae to the Tree and a tentative outline of what we could potentially face. Ristan had reluctantly joined us; he still wasn’t quite himself and Ryder had confided to me that Ristan had taken both his mother and Olivia somewhere and refused to discuss any of the details with anyone. Not even his King.
“Zahruk,” Ryder said as the last of the guard walked in. “Floor is yours,” he finished, sitting beside me and reaching for my hand.
I looked at where our fingers were combined. As his thumb rubbed tenderly in the palm of my hand, I felt his love, and it gutted me to know I felt empty inside instead of whole. I loved him, but the idea of losing our daughter and sons was all I could think about. I had to save the Tree, and I needed to concentrate on it and it alone.
I rested my head against his shoulder as Zahruk went over the final details, and I felt the pain as if it was my own. I knew it wasn’t, and I’d begun to think this eviscerating pain wasn’t only mine. I was a part of Faery, and Danu’s words kept playing in my head.
She’d created me as the Goddess of Faery, and if so, what did it include? Was my pain tied to a dying world? If it died, did it mean I would also die? Or would I cease to be the Goddess of anything and just continue on? I’d tried calling for her again after Adam had gone to inform the Dark King and Queen of the situation, but nothing had happened.
“Synthia,” Zahruk said softly.
I lifted my eyes to his, and nodded in agreement, of what I wasn’t sure of. I’d agree to pretty much anything if it got me to that Tree.
“She wasn’t listening,” Ryder said as he pulled me out of my chair and onto his lap. “Zahruk is going to go scout the area in beast form. When they’ve cleared the area and are sure no Mages are near, we will go to the Tree.”
“Sounds good,” I replied.
I could feel another God or Goddess close to us, as if they were hovering. I watched as all but Ryder and Ristan cleared from the room, and then spoke slowly, clearly, and deadly.
“Show yourself or I’ll kill you,” I seethed as I felt myself growing angry. I hated being spied on, but this one had been privy to our entire plan. I wanted to know who they were and why they were here. A Goddess shimmered in and stood less than three feet away from me. I’d felt her power skimming over me. I’d felt it before with Danu, and yet somehow I’d known it wasn’t Danu doing it this time.
“You never speak to another Goddess in such a crass way, child,” she said gently as she came into focus. She was beautiful, and yet she had certain coldness to her. “Newborns have died for less—and how did you know I was here?”
“Who the hell are you?” I asked carefully.
“I am the Goddess of Destiny,” she said softly as she watched me.
“Bitch,” I growled.
“I could kill you,” she warned.
“You can’t kill me,” I whispered as I watched her. “You’ve put me through hell. You’ve brought me to my knees and have enjoyed my pain. You’re sick and twisted. I wondered who would be pulling the strings, since Danu is only powerful enough to set destiny on its path; someone else had to be pushing for it. That would be you, and I’d like to know why.”
“And you didn’t want your children, or the beast you so love and cherish? Or maybe you’d like to rewind and try it again?” she asked, but her coldness had been replaced with curiosity. “Pain is often needed to obtain the place one needs to be. Had you not been through it, Faery would die.”
“No, I don’t mind that part. It’s the other things that are bothering me,” I said. “I’m wondering why you’ve been interfer
ing and why you’re here now. Haven’t I been through enough? If it’s your intention to break me, fine. You win. You can have me, but not my daughter. She hasn’t done anything yet. She deserves a fighting chance.”
“You think I’ve put you through this just to watch you fail?” she asked and then exhaled. “Danu needed help, but she’s about as stubborn as they come. She refused to ask for help even though she desperately needed it. I knew about you from the moment of your birth, even though she did her best to hide you from us. I watched you grow into a fighter, and I guessed at her plans for you. I am not an idiot, and I can foresee the future in a different way than your mother does. I saw that you’d love him,” she said glancing at Ryder. “I knew that without a few pushes, you’d never get to him. I also knew the apple wouldn’t have fallen far from the Tree, and that you’d be a lot like your mother, stubborn as hell, so to say. So I pushed the Humans to send you to him, and then I pushed more. I also know the rules of my people, and you didn’t. I pushed the beast that day, the one when you became pregnant. The facts were pretty simple. If you were still Fae when you’d conceived children with him, then upon your rebirth, you could live here, with him. Our people don’t allow us to remain with mortals, or…” She looked at Ryder for a moment. “…Whatever he is. You’d have had to leave your babies and him behind and you’d have gone into a century of silence. That’s what we do in rebirth, but I made sure you’d be spared from that. I can’t change your destiny, but I can alter it so that it’s worth it. As Danu is tied against physically intervening, I am tied against telling you the future of your destiny, Synthia.”
“You did this,” I whispered. “You made it so I could stay with him, and yet I could lose the children you ensured I was pregnant with. Haven’t I done enough? I’ve done everything you asked of me and I’ve accepted everything you’ve thrown in my face. I won’t lose my daughter, so if you have any helpful pushes, push me,” I demanded.