“No…not everything,” he said quietly. “I told you it was easier to see into the mind of the dead - in the living, you see life around them. Madison calls it their aura– I don’t see it that way, though; it looks like a cloud of energy and inside that energy you can see what’s happening in their life, but – if someone has refused to acknowledge what has happened to them – or if…or if they‘ve made it a point to hide something deep inside –then it stays that way. All we can do is look at the world around them and interrupt their circumstances – honestly, after a while it’s as easy as noticing the color of someone’s eyes.”
All at once, my mind was flooded with memories. I remembered doing this over and over again. I knew…I knew around a year ago – there were too many for me to help – that as I help one dark soul, countless others would taunt me – I felt outnumbered, so I simply hid behind my music. The only time I tried to face them was when I was with Draven, Aden, and Madison. I could even remember how we were helping the ones that were still here.
“Music…we reached people through your music…I helped you write.”
He nodded as sympathy filled his eyes. “It was like finding a secret weapon – we could take a powerful sound – even if it screamed defiance and anger – we found a way to lace hope through the lyrics – to help at a distance.”
I looked up at him, then back at my house. I let my eyes fall to the ground. I knew what I feared the most: I was afraid if Draven ever showed his talent openly, he’d be taken just like my father. I remembered feeling guilty for asking him to hide his gift – guilty that I was putting my life before countless people that he could help.
“I’m holding you back,” I said, looking up at him.
He moved his head from side to side and reached his arms around my waist. He leaned his forehead to mine. “You were right…once the music became viral…this all became worse…there were too many for us to help. Music…music isn’t my true gift…seeing is. I don’t want fame. I just want you at my side – I want silence…and we’re gonna find that one way or another.”
As he stared into my eyes, I could remember flashes of all of us helping – even together – helping more than one at once – it wasn’t enough. I remembered thinking that the music wasn’t helping the living – it was calling the dead.
I reached my arms around his shoulders and leaned back so I could look into his eyes. “I thought…I thought if Austin took us to his home…that we could live in peace….with our music….but now I don’t think it matters where we are – it will find us – that it won’t rest until we submit.”
“I disagree…,” he said, tilting his head. “The one thing that we’ve discovered as we see through the lives of the people around us is that - reason lies under the heartache…there’s a reason that we can do what we can do…a reason we know of Austin’s world…and in the end, we won’t submit – we’ll live in peace, knowing that because of us the world is a brighter place.”
“I don’t think I’m ready to leave.”
“Then we’ll stay,” he mumbled, clearly not agreeing with me.
I slowly reached up and stole a gentle kiss. As he pulled me closer, I felt his phone vibrate in his pocket; he ignored it at first, but then I slowly pulled away. “Someone’s looking for you.”
He blushed slightly. “I’m sure she’s looking for you,” he said as he reached for his phone.
I walked slowly back to the passenger side of the Hummer. In the silence, I scanned the ground, looking for any sign of a shadow that was out of the ordinary. Even though my confidence was growing, I felt an impending dread – if I was used to facing all of this – what could I have seen behind Britain? What could be more terrifying than speaking to the dead?
Draven climbed in. As he hung up his phone, he glanced at me as he put the Hummer in drive. “I was right; she was looking for you.”
I looked out the passenger window. “My mom said she wanted to help me work through a few things.”
He didn’t say anything. I could feel the tension between us begin to rise, and it was near heartbreaking.
The rain had caused most of my yard to flood. The small creek that ran beneath the covered bridge looked more like a raging river. Draven slowed down as he crossed it. I heard the wood creak and knew why my mom was intent on not wanting us to pass over it later tonight.
We didn’t speak as we drove to his house. I studied the shadows of the trees as they stretched out across the road. I couldn’t hear the whispers anymore, but I feared that at any moment they’d be back – and it would be more than one – more than I could handle once again.
Chapter 13
As we pulled into his driveway, I could see storm clouds fighting to take control of the sky. I wanted it to rain – rain so hard that I wouldn’t have to say goodbye to Draven tonight. He backed into his spot in the garage. I fumbled with my belt and managed to get it unhooked just as he opened my door. He helped me down, then took my hand as he led us in.
I could smell the spaghetti before he even opened the door. Nana was slicing bread, and Aden was taking glasses to the table.
“There they are,” Nana said warmly as she looked up at us.
“Sorry. We decided to help someone at her house before we came,” Draven said, letting go of my hand and leaning down to kiss her forehead.
Aden’s eyes danced all around me and Draven. I could only assume he was taking in what he could see. “I tried that earlier – I suck at French, though,” Aden said, looking across the room at me.
For some odd reason, his tone made me laugh. “I don’t think I’m much better,” I said, feeling the tension leave my body.
“Is he gone?” he asked, raising his eyebrows.
I nodded to confirm.
“Then you’re better than me,” he said as a grin spread across his face.
“Come,” Nana said, taking the plate of bread to the table.
As I sat down next to Draven, I felt myself completely relaxed… it was if what I had done moments ago was all in a day’s work. I know that sounds odd, but I felt myself coming back.
“Did you get some sleep?” Aden asked as I sat down.
“I did – I’m sure I’ll be up all night – my days and nights have been trying to reverse for a while now.”
Nana’s eyes looked over me, and her serious expression made the calm of the moment leave. I stared back at her, and all at once I wasn’t there - I was watching her answer the phone in the dead of the night – I heard her tell my mom it would be fine – then I watched her wake up Evan. The images moved forward to the next night: I listened with her as my mother called, sobbing and saying that I had no idea who I was – who Draven was. I listened to her comfort her with wise words – telling her I was strong and that we’d make it through – to not push me; just let me find my way.
I blinked once, then I was back at the table; it was like a single second hadn’t passed. I looked down, feeling guilty for causing so much worry and stress in everyone’s life.
“I can’t believe how far you’ve come in one day – it feels good to have you back,” Aden said to me.
I smiled to thank him, then I looked to my side at Draven. I knew he was worried about me, and I wanted to make him feel better - I wanted to let him know that I could protect myself.
I looked across at Aden. “That sound – the one at my house.” As I said the words, he smiled at me.
I smiled faintly. “I think I wanna play it,” I said as my eyes moved to Draven. I watched as a relieved breath left his body.
“If I figure it out – could you put a beat to it? I feel like it’s unfinished…like I should finish it.”
“I thought you’d never ask,” Aden said, smiling to say yes. “I’ve been working on one for years.”
A smile beamed across my face as I looked at Draven. “You’re gonna have to help me – can you teach it to me?”
He smiled to answer me.
“Promise?” I whispered.
He le
aned closer and let his lips touch my temple. “Promise,” he said as he pulled away.
“Are you going to play for your mom?” Nana asked.
I felt my stomach fall as the anticipation for that moment came to me. “I guess I’m gonna try…I may ask her to wait until I have it mastered again,” I said, looking into Nana’s eyes.
“I think the time has come…the two of you need to work through this wall of emotions…you’ll never be able to leave here if you don’t.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a glow of light. As I turned to see where it was coming from… it vanished before I could focus on it. Then I felt a calm come over the room. As I studied the thin air, I felt everyone’s eyes on me. Then I felt Draven’s hand on my knee. “We’ll talk about that later.”
Through the calm I was feeling, my heart was racing. Even though I had no memories of seeing my father in some kind of ghostly image – it wasn’t a farfetched idea anymore – not if I could see the darkness take shape – see the past behind it.
We finished dinner in silence. With each moment that passed, I grew more nervous about talking to Nana alone. I couldn’t sit still. I got up from the table and started to clear away the dishes. Once Draven and Aden were finished, they came to help me.
With each second that passed, the tension between me and Draven grew. Nana stood from the table and walked to the counter we had just cleaned off.
“Um, why don’t you boys go and play? Let us have some time alone,” she said, looking at Draven.
Draven moved his head from side to side. “I don’t like this – all these secrets - how can I know she’s safe if I don’t know what’s wrong?” he asked in an accusing tone to Nana.
Aden leaned closer to him. “You said it yourself, Draven – she had her reasons…let Nana help her…no one’s gonna let her get hurt.”
Draven looked at me, then looked down. “If you tell me to back away, I will…just like I did before.”
I stepped around the bar and reached my hands for his waist. I then looked up into his green eyes to find them haunted with fear. “Let me figure out why I did that in the first place,” I whispered.
He leaned down and kissed my lips gently. As he pulled away, he let out a deep breath.
Nana put her hand on Draven’s shoulder. “I promised her mother I’d talk to her – you don’t need to hear this – not yet - go play her song – write her another one. I’ll call you if I need you.”
“Come on, man,” Aden said, nudging Draven.
Draven looked at me; I could tell he didn’t want to leave me, but he trusted Nana. “I’ll be listening,” he said quietly.
He kissed my temple before he walked to the door. Aden put his hand on my shoulder; I smiled at him, then he nodded once and followed Draven. I took in a deep breath and let an innocent smile come to the corners of my lips as I looked at Nana.
“Come,” she said, putting her arm around my waist.
She led me out of the kitchen through the entry hall into a living room that was off to the left. It was a cozy room with a fireplace, a couch, and two sitting chairs. I sat down on the couch, and she went to light candles on the mantel. The only other light in the dim room came from the small lamps on the end tables. I could hear the music begin upstairs as she sat down next to me.
She turned to her side and let her arm rest on the back of the couch. I felt my face flush with fear as I turned in my seat so I could see her more clearly.
She looked into my eyes and smiled slightly. “I’m not going to lie to you – I fear what we may find as we walk through your memories.”
“Can’t you see? Can’t you just tell me?”
Her wise eyes told me no. “You’ve blocked it.”
I looked down as fear absorbed me – how could it be worse than talking to shadows?
She reached for my hand. “We’re just going to talk…if it’s too hard, then we’ll stop…tell me the first time you figured out that your friends in New York were bad.”
I took in a deep breath as my mind replayed the first time I saw Bianca. I remembered almost expecting her.
Then lost memories started to echo around me. “Instantly…I knew she was coming.”
“How?” Nana asked quietly, looking all around me.
My eyes moved rapidly in every direction as I tried to answer that simple question. I cleared my mind and slowly asked myself over and over again. Slowly – almost painfully, the memories began to ignite in my mind.
I remembered that the whispers had become violent- that they were to the point of driving me mad. I’d been caught by teachers, friends – even my mom - talking to the shadows. It seemed like I’d help one – then a hundred more would appear. The problem was that the language of these shadows – the ones in their memories, were ones that I’d never heard. The words were so complicated, I couldn’t even repeat them if I tried – I felt hopeless. I could see where they went wrong, but I couldn’t help them – in a way, I thought that made them more angry.
One day, I went to the city library. I wanted to see if I could find anything that could help me understand how old these shadows were. I searched for hours through every country- every language, and I still couldn’t find anything close to the language I was hearing. It was almost like it wasn’t from this world.
I remembered thinking that I needed to talk to Austin – to see if somehow the words I was hearing were from one of the dimensions he’d visited. I had a fear that what we faced here was nothing compared to what was beyond the string – the glowing passage he’d showed us. I knew that Austin’s world didn’t have this – the one he called Chara, but I thought maybe there was another one – one that was darker – one for which we’d become a target.
I’d lost track of time, and it was near closing. I pulled my headphones out to hear the announcement come over the intercom. Just as the music left my ears, a loud, violent hissing noise took over. It took everything I had not to scream in pain - it was so loud that I thought my ear drums would burst open. I glared at the dark corners of library, then called out, “Show yourself.”
All the shadows came together into an image of a woman. She was wearing a long black dress covered by a cloak. She almost looked gray. I let my father’s song play in my mind and peered at her through the glass wall of protection I’d given myself. As I looked through her memories, I saw a world of gray – everyone around her was sad – it was as if they had no hope. It was the darkest thing I’d ever witnessed. I knew the world I lived in had never been through such a controlling – heartbreaking period of time. As I watched this woman’s life slide by me, I didn’t see a thief or a murder - I didn’t see anything bad at all…all I could see was heartache.
Once I reached her youth, I saw her in love…I saw the man that loved her. In their modest home, I watched as he drew pictures of her – as he drew pictures of things that were beautiful and pure… it was clear that things like that couldn’t exist in the world they lived in… he had a divine talent.
Then I found the moment that had caused her to be the way she is now…a beautiful, seductive woman came to this gifted man, and as her face came into view, panic consumed me – it was Bianca. I tried to deny it, but as she turned into the man, I could see the birthmark of the broken heart on the back of her neck. How could that be possible? This period of time was ages ago.
Bianca whispered into the man’s ear, and I could see the lust grow in his eyes. The man had no power against Bianca’s charms. He fell under her spell, then all of his pictures burned, taking away any proof that they had ever existed.
At that moment – the woman I was looking at lost her soul. She turned into the darkness I was seeing. Even though she had lived years past that day, she died at the moment her love was taken from her. I felt her heartache as she watched Bianca hold the man she loved – I watched as she tried over and over again to break the spell he was under. When she couldn’t take it anymore –she ended her life…and now she was trapped - committed to serving
the darkness that took her love.
I didn’t know what to say to her…I knew if I said the man’s name, it would bring her more harm than good. I searched every memory, only to find that the man was the only thing in that dark world that had ever made her happy. My thoughts shifted to what I would do if I were her – if someone took the gifted one I loved. I looked at the woman and said, “Do you seek revenge?” Her eyes told me that she did. “Then only remember the love – forget the end – you’re in control…not this…whatever it is.”
I watched as she took in my words and years melted away from her image. Color rushed through the ashy image… I could see in her soul. She didn’t turn to leave – or disappear, like each one I’d helped before. She stared at me. Her eyes filled with sympathy. “Your escort is coming….your life…it will be the same.” As she said the words, dark shadows swarmed and hissed all around her. I watched as she vanished before me, not knowing if I’d saved her or not.
I put my headphones in and turned my music up as loud as I could. I tried to catch my breath as I rushed from the library. I was terrified. That night, I cried myself to sleep. I knew that that was a warning….that someone was coming for Draven….that my life would end in misery – I couldn’t let that happen…he…he was too gifted – the world needed him.
Tears streamed down my face as I saw these dark memories come to life before my eyes.
I felt Nana squeeze my hand, pulling me from my thoughts. “You thought Bianca was an escort sent to distract Draven from his gift – to trap you in the shadows.”
Through the glass panes of tears in my eyes, I stared into her wise eyes. “I still do.”
“I’ve heard of these before…these escorts.”
“From who?”
“Souls I’ve helped in the past. Their only purpose in this world is to escort you through your life – to cause you to turn a blind eye to your gift. They bring darkness to you and everyone you may have helped.”