**
I was dreaming the most awesome dream; I was still in Jake’s bed and my head lay on his chest. He had me safely tucked under his arm. My consciousness returned, jolting me awake. It wasn’t a dream at all. I sat up in a near panic, thinking about my parents. I was lying with Jake and he was holding me. Dawn was barely shining and the clock read 6:12am. Jake’s eyes fluttered open at my movement. His dark lashes framed his bright blue eyes, mesmerizing me. I wanted to stay right there forever, staring at his face. He squinted at me, smiling softly.
“Shit, we’re no joke with that sleep,” he said, sitting up. Still shirtless, his hair was all mussed. He looked amazing for just having woken up. I wondered what I looked like. I walked to the mirror, attempting to brush my hair with my fingers, and I immediately got self-conscious.
“Do you have to leave?” he asked, grabbing a thick comforter at the foot of the bed. We had only slept with a thin blanket and the warmth of the night, and now a morning chill had consumed the room from leaving the back door open.
“No, I can’t go home yet, my parents are up getting ready for work. They’re probably in the kitchen, drinking coffee.” I laughed. “Yeah, hey mom, hey dad…I was just sleeping in Jake’s bed.”
He flashed a lop-sided smile. “Come lie back down then. Go back to sleep. It’s too early,” he said, slapping the pillow next to him.
I crawled back in next to him. There was no way I was going back to sleep, not lying there so close to him. He held me just like he did during the night. I started to daydream about what it would be like to have Jake as a boyfriend. We would be going to school together soon. He would be able to drive me, and I wouldn’t have to depend on my brother or sister.
I could see us pulling in the parking lot together and him putting his arm around my shoulder as we walked across campus. Wouldn’t that be a dream? I was crazy to think it would ever happen; my father would never allow it. And of course, there was Rachel and the rest of The Envies. Now that was reality, I thought as I closed my eyes, hoping ninth grade would be easy.
“You know,” I mused, “technically, these aren’t the first times we’ve stayed together. We can just add these last two sleepovers to all the others.”
“Nope, we’ve done this a million times. But this is the first time we’ve been at my house, and we’re teenagers. Not sure our parents would agree.”
“Oh, sure they would, no big deal right? If I get caught, I’ll just act stupid. “Oh, mom, dad, I didn’t think you’d care, we used to have sleepovers all the time.”
“Aly,” he said firmly, squeezing my waist. “Zip it, go back to sleep.” His voice was tired and raspy.
“I’m sorry.” I whispered. I lay there wide-awake, feeling his breath get heavier on my shoulder. He fell asleep.
I must have fallen back to sleep quickly enough, because I couldn’t recall any more of my daydream. Now it was 9 am and Jake was standing in front of the TV brushing his teeth, still shirtless. I marveled at him and immediately got up. I was wishing I had someone to share my fabulous night with, but I was alone in this.
“Okay, I gotta go,” I announced, standing by the door. He turned around smiling, mouth full of toothpaste.
“Hold on,” he mumbled. I could hear the water in the bathroom turn on. He was back in no time, opening a drawer and pulling out a t-shirt, tragically covering his brilliant, naked torso. I smirked without realizing it.
“What?” he asked.
“Oh, nothing,” I laughed. “It’s nothing. I’m just laughing at myself.”
He smiled, opening his back door and walking out into the cool morning air. He shivered, crossing his arms to his chest. We looked over and up at my house. Everything was still and quiet, with the exception of the sound of cars whizzing by in the distance. It was sunny and bright already. A cool ocean breeze whipped my hair in my face. He reached over and brushed it out of my eyes. His touch sent bolts of lightning through me.
“See ya later,” he said.
Was that a question or a statement?
“Yeah,” I mumbled, smiling weakly, not sure what else to say. I went through the gate, heart pounding, wondering if someone would see me come from Jake’s yard. I reminded myself that I needed to act normal. I needed to get ready for my day and meet everyone, as I always had. Nadine would be waiting anxiously. Matt would be there, too. I wondered how I would feel about Matt when I saw him later; anxiety filled me at the thought.
I had unlocked the office door before I left, just in case the slider was locked. It was. I crept in and looked around quickly. Standing still, I held my breath. I didn’t hear anything but the faint sound of a TV. I strolled down the hall toward the kitchen, where our family portraits stared at me accusingly. My brother was on the sofa watching TV. He didn’t even acknowledge my presence. This was good. I poured some orange juice and walked upstairs. My sister’s door was closed. She was probably still sleeping. Once again, no one noticed that I’d been gone the whole night. I was giddy with excitement.
I stared at myself in my bedroom mirror, and for the next couple of hours, I was lost in the haze of Jake. I finally returned Nadine’s text messages from the day before, telling her to meet me. I was sure everyone would notice me glowing like a light bulb. How was I gonna keep a lid on this? The fact that Nadine noticed Jake first and made it known that she wanted him had me reeling. I was sneaking around behind my best friend’s back, professing deep like for Jake to his face.
I was sick at the thought of it. How was I to know that I’d be overpowered by the chemistry Jake spoke of? I quickly picked out a new bathing suit, a shredded jean mini-skirt and white tank. I smelled my shoulders, and they smelled like him. I didn’t want to shower. I wanted to smell like him all day long.
3
Alyssa
I sat on Nadine’s porch, overwhelmed. Nadine was talking a million miles per hour, but I wasn’t really paying attention. I kept staring in the direction of Jake’s house. From where we sat, we could see a portion of the corner. His house and mine were out of view.
“Hey, Aly!” Nadine said loudly, snapping me back to attention. “What else did Jake say? Anything about me?” She was coming completely unraveled.
“Sorry to say, but no, nothing. I mean, you were only there for a little bit before you took off.” The excitement vanished from her face and the gleam in her eyes dulled. I felt bad, sort of. I would have felt worse if she didn’t get attached to every cute guy that came along. It would only be a matter of time before someone replaced Jake. That’s what I hoped, at least. Then I’d be home-free.
Nadine took out her makeup bag and began inspecting her face with a MAC compact. She had beautiful, green eyes. She was cute, in a childlike way, with a round face. Unlike me, or our other best friend, Nicole Hamilton, Nadine had curves. She was 15, but her curves made her look 18 or older. She had the boobs we all envied.
My mind wandered back to Jake. His smell, how he looked without a shirt on, and the song he played for me the night before…
“Wait until you hear Jake play,” I gushed. “You’re gonna die.”
“So, other than all that, nothing else, not one other thing?” She sighed.
“Well, I went back over there and had, like, a heat stroke or something, and when it happened, he took me and laid me down on his bed.”
Her mouth hung open. I tried to be nonchalant about it, but hearing myself say it out loud, no wonder she was looking at me like I was nuts.
“Don’t look at me like that, you know how long I’ve known him,” I said, ignoring her doubtful expression. “He’s like a brother. Anyway, let me finish without you looking at me like I have shit on my face.” I sighed heavily. “So, I’m lying there and some chick shows up. I think it was his girlfriend. Her name is Rachel. He said she isn’t his girlfriend, but I don’t believe him. She certainly acted like she was.” There, I said it. It came out smoothly enough. I only had to lie a little bit. No big deal, I told myself.
Nadine sto
od up and began walking.
“Alright, enough. Let’s go and see what’ll happen today,” she said, turning back to me with a wicked grin. “Maybe one of his band mates will be interested. You know they’re all super cute.”
I was relieved to hear those words fall from her overly glossed lips. “How long have you noticed them?” I asked, sincerely curious. “I mean, dude, I’ve known Jake forever and I’ve never even paid much attention.”
I really was flabbergasted at how quickly she could turn off her like switch and move on to the next guy. Our short walk to the corner had me freaking out about seeing Matt sooner than I wanted with Jake being in the vicinity.
Nadine waved her arm at me obnoxiously. “I’ve noticed all of them for a long time. Now, come on.”
We arrived at the corner, and Matt was there with Grant and Nicole. I’d had a crush on Matt Squire for a long, long time. We were all best friends, really. When I laid eyes on Matt, to my surprise I got butterflies. Wait, were the butterflies for Matt or Jake, I wondered, painfully? Jake and his bandmates were hanging in his garage across the street from us.
“Hey, Matt,” I said cheerily, waving to him. Matt skated around doing tricks with his board. His blond hair flipped and waved around with each maneuver. I tried to focus on just him and the endearing little heart-shaped scar right above his left eye. Angels must have been watching him that day, and thought him too cute to leave an ugly gash. Matt’s eyes looked especially green this morning; they were shining. They used to draw me in, but not today. I thought back to Jake’s intense blue eyes and the way he looked at me when I was lying next to him. Those were the eyes I wanted to look into.
“What’s up, Alyssa?” he greeted, as I walked up to meet him. He looked over at Grant and Nicole sitting on the retaining wall, as if wondering if he was being watched. “What’s been goin’ on?”
“Not much, the usual. Thinkin’ bout goin’ to Six Flags. We talked about it, remember?”
“Yeah, that would be cool. When should we go?”
I shrugged, unsure of anything at the moment. “I don’t know, whenever, you choose. We just have to find a ride.”
I was having a tug of war in my head when a welcomed distraction came into view. My neighbor and classmate, Marshall Lawrence, was walking up the sidewalk toward us. Marshall was a pretty-boy, with his fashionably-cut hair, unlike the other guys in my school. He would definitely be hot someday. His brothers were all good-looking, too, with their almond-shaped eyes and perpetually tanned skin. Marshall was different than his brothers, though. He was slight and thin, not big and bulky.
I’d always wondered if he was gay. It seemed obvious to me ever since I’d learned what gay was. I’d never talked to him about it, but he was flamboyant in his dress and his mannerisms were feminine; it seemed it couldn’t be denied. I’d always liked Marshall. He was soft-spoken, kind, and funny. He took all the teasing from kids in stride, and never lashed out when being bullied by anyone.
“Hey, Marshall,” I waved happily. “Wha’cha doin’?”
He waved back timidly. I could see his eyes dart from person to person in my vicinity. He finally spoke when he stopped in front of us. “Hi, Aly.” He paused, looking down at his painted blue toes sitting in white flip-flops.
“Nice toe-nails, Lawrence,” Grant teased.
I instantly shoved at Grant’s shoulder and glanced at Marshall for his reaction. He just smirked at Grant. Grant had tried out for Jake’s band at one point, I recalled. He only wore black. A uniform of black board shorts, t-shirt, shocks, and Vans tennis shoes, always, with the exception of different t-shirt graphics.
“Um, where you comin’ from?” I said, trying to move past Grant’s lame remark.
“Work. Um, I gotta get going, though. I’ll catch up with you later.” He smiled softly at me and quickly moved past, waving good-bye.
My breath escaped me and I yanked my stare to Grant. “What’s wrong with you?”
“What? I can’t admire his paint job?” He snickered.
“Stop being an asshole.” Nadine scolded, shaking her head at Grant. Their bickering continued as Nicole watched on, amused. Matt poked at my elbow and moved away, leaning against the wall farther down from everyone else. He tossed his head at me to join him.
Then, out of nowhere, there was an urge, a pull. I wanted to look in Jake’s direction, but I didn’t. I ignored the sensation.
Scooting up next to Matt, I wondered what he wanted. “What’s up?”
“Um, you wanna go to the movies tonight?” Matt asked softly.
My heart hit my stomach. “Why are you whispering?” I whispered back.
“I don’t want them to hear.” He jutted his chin towards the others. “I don’t need them tagging along.”
The butterflies started swirling and my mouth went dry. A little breathless, I responded. “Yeah, I’d love to. I have to check with my mom, though. She might have something planned I don’t know about. What time were you thinking?”
“I don’t know, like seven or eight. We can grab a bite too, at the mall.” He kept tossing his skateboard with his foot and glancing at me, a bit bashful. I thought it was cute. We were both nervous. This was the first time he’d asked me out without the rest of the crew. It was a big deal. I was stoked and torn.
As we all sat and leaned against the retaining wall across the street from Jake’s house, out of nowhere, a white convertible BMW full of girls tore around the corner and stopped in front of Jake’s house. All any of us could do was stare. I looked back at Nadine and her face fell, her hopes of flirting with the band diminished. I finally looked at Jake and he was staring right at me. He didn’t look at the bright white spectacle. I thought I would faint. I looked at Nadine and she was staring at me, too. I looked at Matt, and he was also staring at me. I decided to stare at the shining arc of Envy status to take the attention off of me.
“Well, I guess we finally have something to aspire to,” I muttered, irritated.
Nadine was sour, too. “Yeah, if my parents had the kind of money theirs do, it would be easy.” She hopped off the wall, walking over to Matt and me. Matt took off on his skateboard, doing tricks when she got too close.
“So, Jake kept staring over here. It looked like he had eyes for you,” she snarked.
I tried to laugh it off. “Ha, yeah right, shut up. I’m sure he was just wondering who Matt is. You know, the big brother thing.”
This was all just too much for me. Now Jake wasn’t just my next-door neighbor anymore. I sat there pretending to be into Matt’s skateboard tricks, trying to come up with what to say to Nadine when she started in on me.
“So, you know…all this time, Jake never paid attention to what was going on over here. Now, he’s watching and can’t take his eyes off us, especially you,” she said perceptively.
“Maybe he’s watching you?” I evaded.
“Oh, yeah right, I saw him staring at you,” she insisted under her breath. “Are you going over there? Let’s go over there.”
“Are you crazy? Matt’s here, and those girls are there, and the band…and we’ve never gone over there like that before.” I blurted out all the reasons I could think of. “I don’t wanna embarrass myself. One of those girls is probably Rachel.”
“What are you talking about?” Nadine snapped. I about died. She said it so loud that Nicole and Grant looked over at us. I immediately glanced in Jake’s garage, and thankfully, no one looked our way.
“Shush, you spaz,” I pleaded. “Calm down already. You’re like freaking out for nothing. I’m talking about Jake’s girlfriend. I just told you about her at your house. I just don’t know which one she is yet.”
Nadine slumped. “Oh, that’s right.” She pouted, and I didn’t blame her. I felt the same way. “Yeah, I’ve seen them together at school. She’s the one with the blonde hair. I thought she was just a friend.”
“You’re killing me.” I shook my head, agitated. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“
Calm down. What’s going on with you, you’re acting like…like, not you,” Nadine said, glowering.
I huffed, pulling my arms to my chest. “Nothing, never mind.”
Nadine just stared at me like I had two heads. It was pointless to complain. I looked back in Jake’s direction. That Rachel girl was near him, and all I witnessed for the next half hour was her all up in his face. It made my insides churn.
“Alright, you idiots, what are we gonna do?” Grant asked. Matt skated up to me, placing his arm around my shoulder. I froze and the butterflies swarmed.
“We could go to my house,” Matt offered. “My parents aren’t home.”
Now my stomach really flipped around. I quickly turned to face him so his arm would fall. I casually glanced in Jake’s direction, but he wasn’t there any longer. Only Mike and Dump remained. To my surprise, Mike acknowledged us and waved. I smiled and returned the gesture.
“Who’s that?” Matt asked.
“That’s Mike. Jake’s guitarist, I guess. I met him yesterday,” I explained.
“Ah,” he said softly, looking in Grant’s direction. “That’s the guy that Jake picked instead of Grant.”
I was reminded how defeated Grant was the night he found out Jake hadn’t chosen him as his new guitarist — how I’d seen him wipe tears from his eyes, even though he tried to hide it. He’d wanted it so badly.
I sat back on the wall taking in the scene and turned to face Matt, but my eyes kept bouncing back to the garage. Mike played with his guitar, and a loud trill bounced around, echoing off the neighborhood facades like a pinball machine. He glanced over at us now and then. He was a good-looking guy, with his spikey, bleached-blond hair and tattooed arms. He always seemed to have a cigarette hanging from his lips, lit or not. I wasn’t sure what color his eyes were, but he had good form. Tall, a little thinner than Jake, but, I suppose, just as good looking. There was no reason Nadine shouldn’t be interested in him.
Finally, Jake and The Envies came back outside. Rachel was hanging on Jake until one of her friends, a gorgeous, raven-haired chick with bright red lipstick, tried prying her away. She had a punky vibe for sure. I really liked her look. I was completely and utterly captivated by the whole spectacle. Finally, they boisterously walked to their car. They looked like they were drunk or on something. Maybe they were.
“Hey, Nadine, check out that girl with the black hair,” I pointed out quietly. “What do you think? I think she’s cool looking.”
Nadine nodded slowly, deciding. “Yeah, she’s got a great look.”
“And what do you think of Mike? I think he’s Abercrombie status,” I said, hopping off the wall nonchalantly. I planted the seed and now she was staring at him. “I think he’s hot, more edgy, you know with his tats and all. I can’t believe his parents allow him to get tattoos.”
“I think it’s hot. I can’t wait to get one as soon as I move out.” Nadine informed me.
That surprised me.