“So is Chase.”
“Do you think about Chase all the time?”
“What’s that got to do with anything?”
“You’re hopeless.”
No, I was scared. Scared she was right about everything.
20
The next two days were hell. Mostly because I didn’t want to run into Josh, so I got out of bed way too early and headed down to the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee. I was nestled safely in my room, with no plans to come out, by the time I heard activity downstairs.
I finished designing the website, and I decided now was as good a time as any to begin working on my novel. Maybe if I killed off a few fictitious people I’d feel better. After a day and a half, I’d typed, “Chapter One.” Which I thought was a pretty good beginning.
Where to go from there, though, was a mystery.
I was sitting at the computer staring out the window—thinking about Josh, not the story—when someone knocked. It was Mom, and she looked worried.
“Are you all right?”
“Oh, yeah.” I pointed to the computer screen. “I’m working on my novel.”
She was holding a small package, but she still managed to cross her arms over her chest. “You’re not avoiding someone?”
I shook my head.
She narrowed her eyes. “Okay, if you’re sure. But if you are avoiding someone, he’s left for the day.”
“I’m not.”
But I was glad to know he was no longer there.
She set the package on the desk. “This came for you.”
I knew what it was.
“Thanks.”
She studied me for a minute. “Tomorrow, Mr. Wynter and I are going to the mainland to look at some different wallpapering. Josh is taking the day off, so you’ll be here all alone. Will you be okay with that, or do you want to come with us?”
“I’m a big girl. I’m okay with that.”
I couldn’t be sure, but I thought Mom looked relieved. She headed for the door.
“Mom?”
She stopped with her hand on the doorknob and looked back at me.
“Mom, I’m really confused about when you know whether or not a guy should be your boyfriend.”
“Don’t think about it so much, Ashleigh. It’s not something your head decides.”
“Do you think you’ll ever have a boyfriend again?”
“I hope so.”
“But aren’t you afraid of getting hurt again?”
I thought I saw tears glisten in her eyes. “You know, Ashleigh, some of my very best memories include moments spent with your dad. Yes, it hurt when we split, but what we had for a while made the hurt worth it.”
When Mom left, I sat for a long time thinking about what she’d said. Then I called Dad.
“You know, we actually had some snow flurries today,” he said. “I thought of you.”
“I’ve been thinking of you, too, but not because of the snow. I…” Gosh, this was hard, and I realized that Josh breaking up with Nathalie had probably been a lot harder for him than just staying with her would have been. That it took a lot of guts to admit a mistake and do something about it. “I was mad at you, mad about Marsha.”
“I know.”
“I just…I didn’t understand everything, I guess. Anyway, I thought maybe I could come spend spring break with you.”
“We’d like that.”
“Will you tell Marsha that I’ll be one of her bridesmaids?”
“I sure will. That’ll make her very happy.”
Strangely, I thought it would probably make Mom happy too.
Dad and I talked for a while longer. I didn’t tell him about Josh because I didn’t know what was going to happen with us. And I figured he’d fly up to check him out. I wasn’t ready for that. I figured Josh wouldn’t be, either.
After we hung up, I decided I needed to do one more thing. I opened the box Mom had brought up. Inside was another little box. It contained an eggling. Tara had given me one as a going-away present before I left Texas. Last night I’d gone online and ordered one for Nathalie—a peace offering, even though I wasn’t the one who started the war. I dropped it into a little gift bag and stuffed tissue around it. I bundled up.
Maybe it was because I’d been inside for two days, but it seemed a lot colder as I trudged to Sweet Temptations. I’d given Nathalie’s situation a lot of thought, and I’d decided that if she really loved Josh, she’d have fought for him. And that she would have called him by name instead of by label. For her, it was all about having a boyfriend. Not the right boyfriend.
Still, this island was my home now. It had to be big enough for the two of us.
“I’ve got to check on something in the back room,” she said as soon as I walked in.
“Wait,” I said. “We need to talk.”
“If you want to talk, talk to my boyfriend.”
“Look, about Josh—”
“Not Josh. Chase.”
I must have had a confused look on my face, because she rolled her eyes.
“Chase is my boyfriend now.”
I looked at Chase. Folding his arms on top of the counter, he grinned.
“Wow. That was quick,” I said.
“Not really,” Nathalie said. Her voice was sharp, impatient. “He’s liked me for a long time and I liked him. It’s just that I had a boyfriend. Until you came to town.”
“So we owe you big-time,” Chase said. “How about a pound of free fudge?”
“We agreed you’d stop giving away free fudge,” Nathalie said.
“We agreed I’d stop giving away free fudge to get dates.” He winked at her, then turned his attention back to me. “So what do you want?”
“Actually, I do need to ship some fudge, but I have to talk to Nathalie first.”
“I’ve got nothing to say to you,” she said.
I walked over to where she stood and set the bag on the counter. “This is for you.”
She looked at it like it might suddenly transform into a monster. “What is it?”
“Look inside.”
She took out the box. “An eggling? What’s that?”
“It’s a tiny little garden. You crack the top and water what’s inside. And it grows a little plant so you’ll have spring before spring.”
“Oh, cool.” She looked at me. “So why are you giving it to me?”
“Because you’re my friend. And I didn’t mean for you to get hurt.”
“He said you weren’t the reason, but if you weren’t the reason, then I was the reason.” Tears welled in her eyes. “I didn’t want to be the reason.”
“Sometimes, no one is the reason. It just happens. It happened with my parents. That’s why we moved here.”
“It hurt.”
“I know. And I’m sorry.”
She leaned toward me and said in a low voice, “I was afraid if Josh wasn’t my boyfriend that I wouldn’t have one, and I really wanted to have a boyfriend. But I like Chase more. I just didn’t know it until he came over and we started talking to each other.”
“I’m glad it worked out.”
And I was. She’d thought having a boyfriend was more important than who the boyfriend was. So it was good that Josh had broken up with her.
“So I guess we just switched boyfriends,” Nathalie said.
“Not really. I mean, Chase was never my boyfriend and Josh…well, I’m not dating him.”
“Why not?” She looked completely baffled. So did Chase.
I swallowed hard, trying to decide if I should tell her the truth.
“I don’t think I’m ready to have a boyfriend, and if I go out with him, I don’t think one date will be enough.”
“How will you know if you don’t go out with him?”
“Good question.”
“You should at least go out with him once.”
“You think?”
She nodded. “When I’m not mad at him anymore, I can write a recommendation letter.”
Which wou
ld no doubt contain way too much information.
“That’s okay. It’s probably best to just stumble along on my own.”
“Whatever.” She held up the box. “Thanks for the eggling.”
I smiled. “Maybe in a couple of weeks, you, Corey, and Shanna could come to my house for a sleepover.”
“Oh, yeah, that’d be fun.”
“Great.” I turned to Chase. “Guess I’m ready to send that fudge now.”
“To Tara?” he asked.
“No, to my future stepmom. Her name is Marsha.”
“All right, then, fill this out.” Chase snatched up the order form and wrote something on it. Then he passed it to me. “And I’ll take care of it for you.”
In the bottom corner, he’d written, “Thanks,” and drawn a smiley face. I’d never known a guy who drew smiley faces.
He seemed so happy. I started filling out the form.
I guess he’d known Nathalie long enough to know what he was getting into.
21
The next morning, I slept late, snuggled beneath the blankets, relishing the warmth my body created. No one to avoid today, no reason to get up before the crack of dawn to grab my coffee.
I was vaguely aware of Mom peeking into my room to say good-bye. I remember peering out from beneath the covers and thinking it wasn’t even dawn yet, it was still so dark.
The final time I opened my eyes, I thought maybe I’d slept all day. It was really shadowy in the room. Wrapping my blankets around me, because they still held warmth, I shuffled over to the window. The sky was gray. The leafless branches were swaying. I could see white caps in the distance on the lake. And snow. A lot of snow. Blizzard snow.
Oh my gosh! Were we in the middle of a storm?
Ugh! I didn’t want to think about all the snow I’d have to shovel—unless Josh would do it. Maybe he would. Or not.
I sat on the window seat and tried not to think about him, but he was all I thought about. All I dreamed about too. I thought if I just avoided him that I’d forget about him.
But all it did was make me miss him and want him around more.
By late afternoon, the snow was coming down more heavily.
Mom called to say that the ferry couldn’t run and that she and Mr. Wynter were going to have to stay on the mainland. That I was going to be on my own until the weather cleared—probably sometime tomorrow. I assured her that I was fine being alone and told her not to worry. Then I checked the locks on all the doors and windows—and wished the house didn’t creak so much. I lit the fire in the parlor fireplace and wished I had someone to snuggle with, because a snowstorm just seemed like good cuddling weather.
Night had fallen, and I was in the kitchen making a yummy peanut butter and jelly sandwich when I heard the doorbell. I jumped and my heart gave a little kick. This was so a horror-movie scene—bad weather, and a girl cut off from the outside world.
Only killers didn’t usually ring the doorbell.
Still, I opened a drawer and took out the meat cleaver Mom used for cutting chicken. The doorbell rang again and kept ringing.
“All right already,” I muttered as I hurried down the hallway.
I hesitated when I saw a large shadowy form behind the etched-glass window of the door. I’d turned on the porch light, and whoever was there blocked most of it.
“Ashleigh!” The figure banged on the door and I nearly dropped the cleaver.
Josh. My beating heart should have returned to a normal speed, but it didn’t. I wasn’t ready to face him yet. I jerked open the door. “What?”
Covered in frost and snow, he edged past me. “Geez, it’s cold out there.”
“And you just brought the cold inside.” I shut the door. “What are you doing here?”
“My dad called and—what the hell is that?”
He pointed to the cleaver.
I angled my chin. “I was in the middle of cutting my peanut butter and jelly sandwich.”
“With a meat cleaver?”
“It’s quick and makes a perfectly straight cut.”
He grinned. “Yeah, right. You’ve obviously watched too many movies. Who’d you think I was? Freddy Krueger?”
“What are you doing here?” I repeated, not in the mood for his sarcasm or teasing. Plus I was feeling a little silly holding my weapon of choice.
“Like I said, my dad called. The ferry shut down before they could get back. I decided to check to make sure that you were okay.”
“Why wouldn’t I be okay?”
“The storms here can get pretty intense, and if you’ve never been through one”—he dropped his gaze back to the cleaver—“I just thought you might get freaked if you were all alone.”
It was nice of him to worry about me but totally unnecessary.
I sighed. “I’m fine, thanks. You can go back home now.”
“You’re kidding, right? Did you not look out there?”
“It’s snowing.”
“It’s a blizzard. I’m not going back out.”
“You’re not staying here.”
He raised an eyebrow. “This is an inn.”
“Not yet. We’re not officially open for business.”
“Tough. It’s easy to get disoriented out there. Last year a guy froze to death three feet from his front porch.”
“Call a taxi.”
The other eyebrow shot up. “Is this any way to thank me for showing concern?”
“You know, I think you probably came over here because you were afraid to be alone.”
“I really did want to make sure you were okay.”
“You could have called.”
“It’s not the same.”
I didn’t want to admit to him that a little part of me was glad not to be alone anymore. Because the wind was loud and now that it was night, it was scary.
“Oh, all right.” Besides, if the ferry wasn’t running, the taxi probably wasn’t either. “Come on. I’ll split my sandwich with you.”
“I make a mean grilled cheese sandwich, and I’m really in the mood for something warm.”
We went to the kitchen. I got out everything he’d need to make the sandwiches. After I fixed us some hot chocolate, I leaned against the counter and watched as he buttered bread and dropped it onto the heated skillet. He topped it with cheese and another slice of buttered bread.
He slid a spatula beneath the grilling bread, lifted it slightly, and peeked beneath it. He dropped it back into place.
“You’ve been avoiding me,” he said, talking to the sandwich.
I laughed. He looked over at me. “Sorry. I just realized that you talk to a lot of inanimate objects.”
“I’m just keeping an eye on it so it doesn’t burn.”
“If you say so.”
“Soooo,” he said.
I shrugged. “Soooo?”
“You’ve been avoiding me.”
Taking a sip of hot chocolate, I peered at him over the rim of my mug. “Yeah.”
“Why?”
“It just seemed simpler.”
He flipped the sandwich over. It sizzled. “Simpler or safer?”
“Both.”
He took the sandwich out of the skillet and cut it in half, placing each half on a plate. He carried it to the table while I took the mugs over.
“Where do you want to sit?” he asked.
“Doesn’t matter.”
Suddenly everything went dark. The house was almost solid black and so, so quiet.
To my mortification, I released a tiny squeal like a terrified mouse.
“Shh. It’s okay. Power just went out. Happens all the time when we get a storm like this. Where are the flashlights?”
“I don’t know,” I whispered.
“What do you mean you don’t know?”
“I mean, I. Don’t. Know. We haven’t even unpacked everything yet.”
“That’s the first thing I’d unpack.”
Had to be a guy thing. “Yeah, well, sorry, but we didn’t.??
?
“Candles?”
“I have some in my room.”
I heard him release a deep sigh. “Okay.”
Suddenly the faintest hint of light spilled out, and I realized he’d opened his cell phone. “I’ll see if I can find those candles.”
“I’ll go with you.”
“Why are you whispering?”
“You’re supposed to whisper when the lights go out.”
“So the boogeyman doesn’t get you?”
I shoved on his arm. “Let’s just go get the candles.”
Clinging to the sleeve of his jacket, I followed him through the house. A cell phone doesn’t produce a huge amount of light. But I guess our eyes were adjusting, because we didn’t run into anything.
I directed him toward my desk, where I had the candle that sounded like a crackling fire when it burned. I lit it. Amazing how much light a candle could make. And how eerie it really made things when it was flickering and was the only light. I lit another one that he’d be able to carry easily downstairs. Then I began packing additional candles in a tote bag I had. We’d probably get nauseous sniffing all the various scents.
“Hey, come here,” Josh said.
He was sitting on the love seat looking out the window.
“What is it?” I asked, walking over. “The lights are out. You can’t see anything out there.”
“I know.” He wrapped his hand around my arm and pulled me down until I was nestled between his thighs, my back to his chest. “I just wanted to hold you.”
Deep down, I knew I should have been mad about being manipulated, but I just couldn’t seem to work up the anger. The truth was I wanted him to hold me, too. He nuzzled the back of my neck. And, of course, my toes curled.
“You think our parents are okay?” I asked.
“Yeah, if you look in the distance, you can make out the lights on the mainland. They’re fine.”
“I’m sorry your dad got stuck over there, just because Mom wanted to look at wallpaper.”
“He won’t mind. I think he likes your mom. He mentioned something about taking her to a movie.”
It was a weird thought: Mom with a guy who wasn’t my dad.
His arms tightened around me. “Want to hear something silly?”
“Yeah, I could use a laugh.”
“I’ve never asked a girl out.”