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Socks Without Matches
The House on Cemetery Street
While on a stake-out, I sat in my big, long, black Cadillac, watching a house on Cemetery Street; it was raining cats and dogs. The two-story house I had under surveillance appeared to be abandoned. It had large colonial columns and a balcony above the front porch. The house was weathered and needed a good coat of paint. It was the perfect hideout for someone who didn’t want to be found. After a while, the rain let up a bit.
I had received a tip that my arch enemy, the Shadow, had been seen in the house. I waited patiently for any sign of him. As I waited, I poured myself a cup of catnip tea and I was sipping slowly on it when it happened. It was about three o’clock in the morning when I looked through my binoculars and saw a silhouette roaming about the house. It must be him; I have to go in and investigate, I thought as I laid my binoculars down and took another sip of tea.
The rain had stopped. I was making my way across the street when a speeding truck came right at me out of nowhere. I quickly leaped in the yard and fell to the ground; I was safe. As the driver drove by, he stuck his head out the window, laughed and growled at me. Still shaken, I slowly got up off the ground. My trench coat was wet and muddy. I looked around to see if anyone had seen me; it appeared no one had. I snickered a little at myself, but I stopped and thought, that wasn’t funny as I eased up to the window and peeped in. There was a light on but the room was empty. I quickly turned to move over to the front door but my shoe was stuck in the much. I tried to lift my shoe out, but my foot came out of my shoe instead.
“Some days it doesn’t pay to get out of bed,” I mumbled.
I bent down, grabbed my shoe out of the mud and hopped onto the porch. I slipped my muddy shoe back on and gently knocked on the door. When I did, the door slowly opened. Eeekkkk echoed throughout the house. I looked over my shoulder to see if anyone was around before I went inside. I was lucky; the coast was clear except for some old Tom cat hailing a taxi. I eased inside the house. It was eerily quiet. I had been told by my informant that the Shadow could change himself in the blink of an eye. He would be one thing one minute and something else the next. I knew it was going to be a long night. Luckily for me, my catnip tea would help me stay alert.
Suddenly, I heard something. It was a faint purring. I carefully listened again. It’s not me, I thought. Then I spotted an aquarium across the room. I proceeded over to it and placed my ear against it. Purr, purr, it sounded. A big smile stretched across my face when I realized it was the little catfish in the tank purring like a kitten.
Unexpectedly, the Shadow appeared on the wall. I immediately jumped in to my defense mode. I stood to protect myself and cautiously approached the suspect. He was bigger than life. How can I bring this monster down, I thought. Then it happened. He took a swing at me. Luckily, I had received some defensive training down at the club. I sparred around the room, shadowboxing. The Shadow was quick, quicker than anyone I had ever seen. He threw a right punch; I ducked and came back with my left. The Shadow was light on his feet. We danced about the room throwing punches at each other. Bam, I hit him hard with all my might. However, he still came after me. It didn’t even slow him down. I threw another left and then a right. But, my punches seemed to go right through him. Then suddenly, bam! I twisted, swung and knocked myself out. I lay on the floor for what seemed like hours. My head was spinning as I crawled across the floor. I rose up and glanced in the mirror. Ooh-wee, what a shiner, I thought. This guy is tough. I can’t pussyfoot around with him. He’s going to be hard to bring in, I thought. But, if anyone can do it, I can.
I carefully poked around the house and hoped to get another opportunity with the Shadow. Fortunately for me, my keen cat eyes could see through the darkness. Then it happened again; I saw lights flashing in another room. Cautiously, I eased up to the door. My legs slightly knocked and my teeth chattered like and old scaredy cat afraid of its shadow. I didn’t know what to expect but I had made up my mind it was going to be him or me. Suddenly, I jumped into the room and screamed as loud as I could.
“Aiyee!” I screamed.
The Shadow leaped on me and we both fell to the floor. We wrestled around, rolled back and forth and screamed and hollered. Our fur flew in every direction. The Shadow eventually got me in a headlock; I was helpless and couldn’t get away. I struggled and fought with all my might but it was useless. He was too strong for me. Finally, I was nearly out of breath so I had to give in. I lay lifeless for a few minutes before I got up and looked around; the Shadow was gone again. When I bent over to get my hat off the floor, I noticed my shadow on the wall. I thought a minute. Could that have been my shadow I was fighting? I searched through the house and the Shadow was nowhere to be found.
As I was about to leave, I noticed some movement over in a corner. I had no idea what it was so I eased over to get a closer look. It was a little mouse behind a box shadowboxing in front of a flashlight. As he practiced his swings, the flashlight reflected the shadows upon the walls. Huh, was he the Shadow or had the real Shadow slipped off into the night, I thought as I placed my hat on my head and buttoned up my coat. Just another one of those cat tales, maybe next time, I meowed to myself. The case of the house on Cemetery Street really didn’t turn up anything, I thought. A lot of the time that’s the way it is in this business. But, I did get to take home a few little treasures…a black-eye, plenty of bumps and some bruises.
I scurried out of the house and got in my car. I headed to the office for a catnap. Out of the blue, I began to cough. I thought I might have picked up a cold in all that rain but it was only a fur ball hung in my throat.
“Meow!”