“ When a woman really loves a man,she'll sleep alone
before she lets another man sleep in his spot.”
Cleveland,OH
I then revealed to my two new friends I was pregnant. I whispered extra low so Mr. Nosy Fine Ass across the aisle wouldn't hear.
“ DAMN! So you mean you just dipped on ol' boy? He doesn't even know you're pregnant?” Shavon asked.
I broke down in tears thinking about my situation. It was as if now that I'd verbalized it, I could fully digest the predicament I was in. What the hell was I going to do? I'd left everything to get away from Roderick. How I'd been so careful about taking my birth control pills...for ten years! The one time I slipped, I wavered and thought about giving Roderick what he wanted. The one time I grew so tired of begging him to marry me, I convinced myself I was making too big of a deal about being married. I'd gotten pregnant.
I knew the exact night it happened. He hadn't touched me in two weeks before that night. The first time he'd actually hit me.
“ Ooohh Uh-Uh! I can't take two crying ass bitches! Get up and let me sit in the middle LaDaya!” Shavon commanded rolling her eyes at LaDaya and I.
LaDaya was in the midst of a fresh round of tears as she stood up. Several of the bus passengers were looking at us wondering what was going on I'm sure. Including the nosy ass brotha across the aisle.
Shavon sat down between us and grabbed each of our hands.
“ Now y'all get it together now! Amina here your ass is pregnant and on the damn run, LaDaya you listening to someone else's sad ass story and done dropped your man!”
“ Hell yes I dropped his ass! The more I listened to Amina's story it was sounding more and more like how mine was going to end up and I fuckin' REFUSE to go out like that. No offense Amina but each one teach one sista you know what I mean?” LaDaya blurted out,her tears had suddenly stopped.
The driver came over the speaker announcing we'd be pulling into Cleveland within the next ten minutes.
My mood was dark thinking about everything I had in front of me. I needed a home, I didn't want to tell my sister Amaya I was pregnant until I was out of her house. I needed a doctor,a job with some benefits but hell I'd gotten my degree in fashion with Roderick's encouragement but where the hell was I going to use it in Cleveland? I felt so lost and alone.
“ Okay now..., Shavon said interrupting my thoughts.
“ We've been on this bus all in each others business, so we need to exchange numbers right now Amina! We've got to keep in touch, be supportive of one another.” she said grinning.
Shavon's gold teeth were still gleaming, and you could damn near park a car in between LaDaya's gap but I swear before God , they were so beautiful to me right then. The way they'd listened to me during this trip and oddly enough, regardless of their earlier conversation about women in long relationships, I didn't feel judged. I'd really misjudged them on sight and I felt ashamed about that. I'd revealed more to them than I had to Katrina. She'd been so negative about my relationship with Roderick lately, the last thing I felt like doing was telling her I was having his baby. I'd let her know once I got settled. After I told Roderick which I dreaded but I knew I couldn't keep our child from him. My heart nor my conscious would allow me to deny Roderick his son or daughter.