* * *
I'd allowed plenty of time for the trip and with the lights of Forks in the distance, even entertained the idea of stopping, but I knew that was a bad idea. If Forks was my home, I might be recognized and truthfully, it didn't matter who I was as a human anymore. I had what I came for. From the mountain ridge, there was no mistaking my memory of the Olympic Mountains. The ridge led me straight to the Quillayute River. I decided to hunt before continuing so I would have as much strength as possible. As luck would have it, I was able to snare a mountain lion. Her blood was wild and powerful and made me feel invincible. I used the river to conceal my final approach toward the Quileute Reservation, then up the slopes of the small mountain. As I had hoped, I had a clear view of the highway leading into La Push, so all that was left to do was wait.
Waiting was more difficult than I thought—it was hard to maintain the anger—and no matter how hard I tried, Jason kept creeping into my thoughts. I missed him terribly, even yearned for him, but he was part of my past and I had no future, so we had no future. The sun made an appearance—the last time I would see it—before setting over the dark, gray ocean. The fiery crest as it slowly sank into the sea was more beautiful than I'd ever seen. I grew restless, impatient, and began to pace. What if she didn't come? What if she didn't come alone? What if I couldn't overpower her and the wolves were just a myth? It was then I decided, if I couldn't destroy her, I would beg her to destroy me, to put an end to what she had done. It was a long shot, but what other choice did I have?
It was a black night, not a star in the sky—late now—there hadn't been any traffic on Rt 110 for hours. It was time. I made the descent down the mountain quickly and crossed the river in a single bound. As I closed the distance, a pair of bright, bluish headlights lit the highway. I paralleled the road and a shiny black Mercedes—Bella's Mercedes—squealed around the corner headed south. I veered away from the road, taking the shortest route so I arrived at the clearing first. Now all I had to do was hope she was alone. The big cat's blood tingled in my veins. Bella, my monster was right around the corner, the anticipation, this is what I'd been waiting for. I stopped just inside the edge of the small clearing at the intersection of the two tree lines.
The headlights flickered through the trees and suddenly went out as the car turned off the road. I waited, hoping to hear just one car door, but the car kept coming and in seconds, I could see it through the trees. I took a deep breath, a pointless human response—it was strange how in such a short time they had become habit. The car stopped just inside the clearing.
A low growl boiled up from deep inside me as I stepped into the clearing, ready to meet my maker. I leered toward the car, unable to see through the dark windshield. The only question, was she alone? The car just sat there, no sound or motion from inside, almost like it was empty—finally the engine shut off. I hadn't realized it, but I was in an attack crouch. I relished the thought that maybe Bella was afraid of me—she should be—if she didn't come out to face me, I was going in to get her. I took a step forward. The door latch released with a heavy click, and I took another step as the door slowly swung open. Disable her quickly, I reminded myself, but you want to know why before you finish her. A slight breeze was at my back, so there was no scent from the car to help determine the number of occupants, but it carried a faint, unfamiliar, repulsive scent from the forest. A boot appeared below the door—a warm boot—human warm. Was this some kind of trick? Was the car a decoy?
"No!" I screamed in disbelief as Jason appeared above the door. "You coward, how dare you?" I was trembling with anger.
"Careful," a soft voice from inside the car warned.
"She won't hurt me," Jason said, glancing back in the car and then taking a step out into the open.
"The hell I won't!" I growled. "I'll drain you and use the strength to destroy her." Anger raged through me—it was all there was.
The latch on the passenger's door released, but Jason held up a hand to stop her. "Izzy, it's me, Jason."
"You're on her side now?"
"It's not like that, there are no sides, you have to listen to me."
"What? You think if she changes you what she did to me won't matter? I won't let you, I'll kill you first, nothing could be worse than this."
"Living without you would be worse."
That tiny barb penetrated my anger.
Jason seemed to notice. "Your name is Isabella Newton, you're from Forks. I can prove it. You're the daughter of Jessica and Mike Newton—your parents."
"So?" I shot back.
"Five years ago there was an accident."
What little human memory I had was spinning wildly—I tried desperately to find a grounding point. "Accident?" I mumbled. The pebbled bottom of a creek, with a trail of blood flowing through it momentarily flashed into focus. Screeching tires, breaking glass, tumbling—a crushing impact—I gasped. "I can't breath."
"Isabella, Isabella."
"Mom!" I wheezed.
"Izzy! Izzy! It's okay, you're safe," Jason said.
I snapped out of the daze and growled at him, a little less intensely than before.
"Focus Izzy, I'm right here in front of you."
During my apparent delirium, Jason had moved closer—too close. His scent was overpowering, almost like the first time. I'd forgotten how intense it was. I looked past him to the car. "You mean between us."
"Yes, Bella is in the car—and you'll have your chance to talk to her—but—"
"Talk? I don't think so." I took a step to the side, but he stepped in front of me as if he could stop me.
"Focus, right here." He pointed to his beautiful, captivating face.
I glanced at him—just for a moment—but was immediately drawn in to his empathetic eyes. There was a moment of confusion. Was he working with Bella? Was he here to distract me so she could gain the advantage? The twinkle in his eyes dulled my anger—my advantage—but I noticed his hand moving toward mine and I stepped back.
"Easy," he said in a soothing tone, "I'm not going to hurt you."
A startling warmth gripped me as his fingers touched mine. He paused as the warmth radiated up my arm before he slid his palm into mine. "It's me Izzy." His smile was captivating.
"You can't be here," I said, suddenly snapping back to reality.
"Where else would I be? I've been looking everywhere for you."
"In Forks?"
"Yes, but that doesn't matter—right now all that matters is how much I love you, Isabella."
"Isabella?"
"Yes, your name is Isabella Newton."
I stared beyond him to the dark Mercedes. "You're right, it doesn't matter, all that matters is I destroy her."
"You can't, although I think she'd let you if it were only up to her."
Jason pressed against me as I started forward causing his boots to cut furrows in the dirt—resistance really was futile.
"They won't let you," he pleaded.
"The Cullens?"
"The wolves."
I jerked back and spun around—the revolting smell from before was much stronger. Jason stumbled forward and fell to the ground. On the edge of the clearing three sets of glistening eyes set impossibly far apart were glaring at me. They were here, but too soon, I didn't have any answers—my revenge.
"Get back in the car, Jason," I ordered, taking a protective position between him and the wolves.
"They're not going to hurt us as long as you remain calm."
"Us?"
"I meant what I said, I love you and where you go, I go—'all in' remember?" He stepped in front of me, his face just inches from mine. "Tell me you don't love me," he challenged.
"I don't love—" His lips suddenly pressed against mine in a searing kiss. I'd had the butterflies from the moment he first touched me, but now, the knot tightened in my chest. Not to be overlooked, the fiery thirst began to boil in the back of my throat. I had to focus on my love for him to control the thirst and repressing the thirst derail
ed my anger. Resisting Jason really was pointless, I wrapped him in my arms.
"Augh!" he gasped.
I loosened my grip. "Sorry." I swear one of the wolves laughed.
Jason kissed my forehead. "Welcome back."
The anger had subsided—that was Jason's fault—and I was able to think more clearly, but obviously not Jason. He pressed closer. I had no breath and I dare not take another or I'd have something else to be angry about. I released him and stepped back.
"Right," he whispered. "Its been a long time—too long," he added.
Behind him, the wolves had vanished. As Jason's physical impact on me subsided, I became more aware.
"Jason, you look horrible." He had bags under his eyes and his skin was ashen and blotchy.
"Not really what I was hoping to hear." He rubbed his eyes. "I really haven't had all that much sleep lately."
"Why?"
"I've been looking—well mostly waiting—for you." He held out his hand, but I didn't take it.
"You should have let me go."
"You don't get it do you?" He sighed, frustrated. "I told Mom, if I came out here, I knew I would find you. There's a gravity between us, a draw that I've never experienced—oh sure, at first I thought it was something you were doing, but it's not. It's so much more than that, and I know you feel it too. Look what happened here, that temper of yours just melted. We belong together, like peanut butter and jelly—okay not a great analogy, but I haven't had much sleep."
"But I'm—"
"A vampire, and you think that that makes you a monster—I get that—but you're not." He reached in his back pocket. "I want to show you something, maybe it will help you understand." He held out a wrinkled old picture of two kids. "Look familiar?"
I searched what little memory I had and although there was a slight familiarity, I didn't recognize the place or the children. "No."
"Remember shopping with your mom? You were maybe twelve."
"Maybe." The sudden emotional swings seemed to have shaken some of my cobwebs loose. I could sort of remember going shopping and an occasional trip. "Sometimes we went to Port Angeles."
"Yes." Jason held the picture closer.
"I used to watch this little boy while our mothers shopped, but I didn't mind, he was so adorable."
Jason was beaming, his smile almost ear to ear.
"What?"
"That's us in the picture."
I staggered back. "You're the little boy?"
"And you were my first crush."
"That's impossible."
"It is in human terms. Don't you see, as horrible as your accident was, it set things in motion that brought us together. Without it—" He shrugged. "I doubt it."
I traced my fingers across the picture. "You were so cute then."
"Were?" he pouted.
"Not so cute anymore, more like ruggedly handsome."
"Please, Izzy. Please come home with me—I promised Mom I'd bring you back."
"So you want me to go back because your mom misses me?"
"Yeah, something like that."
Maybe loving Jason was enough. Maybe I wasn't as vile a creature as I imagined. He certainly didn't think so. But there was still the nagging question of why I was a vampire. I wasn't sure I could just forget that.
Jason kissed me. "I know you still have questions. That's why Bella's here—but you have to promise me you won't do anything stupid."
"I don't know if I can."
"Just promise you will listen to what she has to say, and remember, whatever happens to you, happens to me. I meant it when I said I love you."
"You're blackmailing me?"
"I guess I am." Jason pulled me into his arms and kissed me again. Behind him, the passenger's door opened. "I'm going to go now—"
"You're leaving?"
"I think you two need some alone time."
"What about the wolves?"
"They're just here to protect her."
"What? They're supposed to be our mortal enemies."
"I didn't get it all, but the Cullens—especially Bella—have some sort of connection with them. So, as long as you behave yourself everything will be fine. Think you can do that for me?"
"I'll try." I shrugged, trying to make light of it. "You know my anger."
"Remember," he released me, made that motion between us—the one he'd made in the hall at school—"all in," and stepped away. "I'm staying at Foley's, just inside Forks—second floor overlooking the library—I'll leave the window unlocked."
"Very funny."