* * * *
The Captain and the others walked into the mess room just as the ship went to warp speed. As they sat down they could see the stars shooting past the window. When Mesetta saw them come in he made a beeline straight for them.
“ Captain Angus I have to take umbrage with the name of your eating place. The mess room sounds terrible.”
The Captain shrugged his shoulders. “ I am afraid there is nothing I can do about that. This is a federation vessel.”
“ Well I would like to rename it today. Accqua and myself cannot create wonderful meals for your crew in a mess room.”
The Captain turned to Beani-Poohs. “ I don’t believe this! He’s been here five minutes and already he wants to change everything.”
“ What harm will it do Gus? He’s only here for a few weeks, you can change it back when he is gone.”
He turned back to Mesetta. “ Well alright then, you can change the name. What are you going to call this eating place? Perhaps you can call it ‘The Eating Place’, or what about ‘slap and dash’? ”
The alien laughed, “ Captain you are an imaginative soul. No that is not the name I would give it.”
Accqua had been listening across the room. “ I know!” she yelled and came running towards them, “ we could call it ‘The Launching Pad’.”
“ Why would you want to call it that?” the Captain said with a puzzled look on his face.
“ Because when we create our superb meals everybody will be excited to see them and when your crew enjoys our cooking they will be nourished and ready to launch back into their work.”
The Captain laughed. “ I see you have given this a lot of thought.”
Accqua walked back to the kitchen.
“ It is a very apt name is it not?” Mesetta beamed “ just you wait and see what we have for you tonight! Would you like to see a menu? Accqua roughly wrote one just before you came in.”
He handed it to Beani-Poohs.
She took the menu and started to look at it but could not understand it. She handed it back to Mesetta. “ This is a good gag. Are you going to have all the menu’s with the words written back to front and the letters backwards too?”
He took it back and stared at the menu unable to understand what she was talking about. “ It is written in your language, I’m sure of it, and it is not backwards.”
He handed it to the Captain.
The Captain took a look. “ He’s right, it is in English and it is not backwards.” He confirmed. He frowned, “ There is nothing at all wrong with this menu.”
Beani fell silent and then said in an expressionless voice,
“ I’m sure it was backwards but I am tired, I think that transporter really took it out of me.”
“ I’m very tired too,” agreed Lid-Lidia quietly.
The Captain looked briefly concerned but then was interrupted. Accqua came bustling across the room with a large tray in her hands.
“ Never mind about the menu, I have prepared these three meals for you.” She put the meals in front of them. “ Now go ahead! Eat! Do not ask me what it is, I know you will all love it anyway.”
They all hesitated for a moment. Then Lid-Lidia picked up her folk in her left hand and took a bite, “ Hmm, it’s wonderful!”
“ See I told you,” laughed Accqua “ remember Captain Angus that I said I will cook the best meals you have ever had. In fact you won’t want Mesetta and I to leave this ship.”
The Captain smiled and put a forkful in his mouth. “ Yes it’s extraordinary. I welcome you as the best cook we have ever had.” As everyone cheered and clapped he enjoyed a few more mouthfuls. “ What is this? ”
“ It’s a vegetarian meal cooked in a special way.”
“ So what about calling this mess room ‘The Launching Pad’?” asked Mesetta.
“ I’ll even agree to that as well.” They all dug into their meals.
The Captain raised his cup of water in the air. To the delight of the alien couple he said, “ I think we are all going to get along very well. I predict this is going to be one voyage without any problems.”
* * * *
The Captain was sitting his chair when Beani-Poohs and Lid-Lidia walked onto the bridge the next day.
“ Welcome back to the bridge,” said Mr. Base “ We are all very happy to see you both back at your stations.”
“ I’ll second that!” said Ensign Follicle.
Kazzie-Spockers was in the chair next to the Captain and Mr. Sook was at his usual terminal, while Lieutenant O’Hoara was at the communication terminal.
“ Thankyou, we are glad to be here,” responded Beani-Poohs and sat down at her terminal while Lid-Lidia took her post as well.
Lid Lidia stared at her computer screen.“ Is this a joke? Who has been tampering with my screen? This looks like gibberish. I appreciate a good joke but I have a lot to do and this is not the time for this sort of thing.”
“ What do you mean?” asked Mr. Base.
Beani-Poohs was frowning at her screen as well. “ What she means is that this is not an appropriate place to have this elaborate a joke. We are here to do our duty. Everything is back to front …just like the menu …all the letters are backwards.”
“ Mine is the same. Who here has a sick sense of humour?” Lid Lidia was tense and disturbed.
Mr. Base said politely, “ I can assure you that no one has tampered with your screens.”
The Captain stood up. “ I will be very disappointed if somebody here is playing jokes while we are on an important mission.”
Mr. Sook said, “ Captain I have been here for many hours and I have not seen anyone tampering with those terminals.”
The Captain walked over and examined Beani-Poohs screen. “ It all looks normal to me.” He turned to Beani-Poohs his eyes puzzled.
“ Normal! I can’t read this screen! It’s all backwards!” She insisted.
The Captain took a deep breath, “ No, it’s not. I can read it very easily. This is most peculiar.”
She stared up at him, a stunned expression in her eyes as an unwelcome thought crossed her mind. He stared back at her.
Mr. Sook examined Lid-Lidia’s screen. “ This one is normal as well,” he said bluntly.
Lid-Lidia looked visibly upset. “ Don’t be ridiculous. This is not funny! Everything is back to front. Its right there in front of you!”
“ I am sorry but I see everything the right way around…” his voice trailed away.
There was a short tense silence on the bridge.
“ What is happening?” Beani-Poohs said with fear in her eyes.
“ I don’t know,” the Captain said, “ but don’t worry. We shall figure it out. Come into my ready room, both of you. You as well Mr. Sook.”
They followed him inside and waited for him to speak.
“ Let’s not panic…” he began…
“ That’s easy for you to say,” Lid- Lidia sighed, “ this is scary… that terminal has never looked like that to me.”
“ Let’s do a little experiment… and determine exactly how wrong everything appears to you…” He picked up an antique book and handed it to them.
“ I want you both to look at a page and tell what you see.”
Beani-Poohs took it and flicked through the pages.
“ It’s all backwards. Every letter,” she said.
Lid-Lidia took the book, opened it, viewed it and closed it.
“ It’s the same as the terminal screen. Every letter is back to front.”
“ Interesting,” said Mr. Sook, “ You both appear to have the same problem. It is not hard to discern that this is probably a symptom which is a direct result of your transporter experience.”
“ Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, ” The Captain said, “ I am going to hold this up to a mirror now… look at the reflection and tell me what you see.”
“ Oh no!” Beani-Poohs exclaimed, “ It’s normal.
It’s readable this way. What does this mean?”
“ Ensign?”
“ Yes, “ Lid-Lidia answered, “ I can read it too. I don’t like this. What now?”
“ I don’t know, but my guess is that we had better go see the Doctor. He may have an answer to all this.”
Lid-Lidia wiped her eyes. “ I don’t know if I want to know. This is a bit scary.”
“ It is the most logical conclusion,” Mr. Sook said calmly,
“ the Captain’s suggestion is most wise.”
“ Let’s go,” the Captain turned to the door, “ the sooner we know, the sooner we can try and fix it.”
A few minutes later the Doctor was running his medical tricorder over them.
When he had finished he sat heavily in a chair. “ I am very sorry, I don’t know how I could have missed this yesterday.”
The women sat in silence while the Captain spoke. “ What do you mean? What did you miss?”
“ Their cells are not quite right…something is a little off. I need some time to explore this more thoroughly.”
The women looked worried. The Captain sighed, “ Very well. I shall return later.”
“ How long will this take?” enquired Mr. Sook.
“ It will take as long as it will take,” said the Doctor irritably.
* * * *
Two hours later the Doctor summoned them back to sick bay. The women were sitting at his desk, both looking worried and subdued.
“ What is it?” the Captain wasted no time on preliminaries.
The Doctor sighed. “ This is going to sound bizarre but this is not Lieutenant Beani-Poohs and Ensign Lid-Lidia. Not the ones we know.”
Both women looked stunned.
“ I beg your pardon?” Beani-Poohs snapped, “ I have been myself my whole life thank you very much.”
Lid-Lidia demanded: “ What do you mean by that?”
The Captain folded his arms. “ You must be functioning incorrectly, did you check your subroutines like you said you would?”
“ I checked them Captain and there is nothing wrong with my program. Do you remember yesterday when you lost the women in the transporter? Well something happened and I can’t explain it. I’m a Doctor not a computer.”
Mr. Sook nodded, “ We had surmised as much Doctor. But please explain your meaning.”
“ Well, its them… but it isn’t.” He rolled his eyes.
“ Doctor get on with it, what happened?”
“ This is going to sound strange but cells don’t lie. They appear to their own mirror images. They are who they say they are…but it is not the women we know. I would say that this pair are from an alternate universe.”
The room exploded with angry voices. Both women were obviously frightened and stressed. The Captain finally silenced them all.
He said to the Doctor: “ That’s absurd. I have never heard of such a thing. I am looking right at them… it is THEM.”
“ Captain, their cells are all wrong. You cannot argue with science. I have all the data and evidence to support my claim.”
“ But how can we be mirror images? How can there be two of us?” Lid-Lidia demanded to know.
“ It is not an unknown conclusion. And there may be more than one of you…many alternate universes. We have come across some strange things in space travel… it is not insupportable.” Mr. Sook explained helpfully.
Both women glared at him.
The Doctor said enthusiastically, “ Yes it happened in the earth story ‘Alice’s adventures: Through the Looking Glass’ by Lewis Carroll. If you have read that story she put her hand on the mirror and it had turned to jelly and she falls through and everything is reversed on the other side of the mirror.”
“ Doctor we have read the story, but this is real life and that is fiction.” The Captain scoffed.
“ Captain, I suggest we hear the Doctor out. He could have the only conclusion which makes any sense.” Mr. Sook advised. He alone had remained calm during all the emotions running high in the sick bay.
The Doctor explained: “ My guess is that during the transport the two images were reversed and we received the same two people but their reverse selves if you can follow me. The two people we know are now on the other side of the mirror, as it were. In scientific terms they are now in the fourth dimension. ”
Both women looked a little worried now.
“ You can’t be serious!” Beani-Poohs protested.
“ I don’t feel like I am anyone’s mirror image,” Lid Lidia argued, “ I just don’t feel it.”
The Captain held up his hands, “ Please. Let us discuss this as rationally as we can. We have no other answers so the Doctor could be correct. Doctor…if your conclusion is the real truth… how do we get back the real Lieutenant and Ensign?”
“ Captain I’m a Doctor remember. This is a question you will have to discuss with your other officers. I cannot help you with this problem.”
The Captain nodded, “ You are right. Thankyou Doctor.” He turned to the women. Both were naturally disturbed.
“ Don’t worry, I’m sure we can figure something out. In the mean time I think you had better stay in your quarters.”
“ You can’t be sure that what he says is correct Captain!” protested Lid-Lidia.
“ The whole thing sounds ridiculous to me!” Beani-Poohs was becoming quite upset. “ When you say stay in the quarters…don’t you mean confined to them? We haven’t done anything wrong.”
The Captain said sternly, “ I never said you have. But until we know for sure what we are dealing with I can’t have you report for duty. You can’t be of any help to me in your condition and I need to know where you are at all times.”
“ Well, I don’t…” Beani-Poohs began angrily when Mr. Sook cut her off.
“ The Captain has made his decision and it is in your best interests to comply,” he said calmly, stopping her in her tracks.
Both women nodded silently.
“ Rest assured I will keep running tests on the samples we took and I will do my best to find out more,” the Doctor assured them.
Just then the Captain’s COM badges beeped. “ Hemorrhoid here!”
“ Captain we are being intercepted by a large star ship and it has already started charging its weapons!”
“ Raise shields, I’ll be there in a minute.” He turned to Beani-Poohs. “ I’m sorry but you will have to go to your quarters. I have to go to the bridge.”
“ I understand. I don’t like this but I will do as you say.”
Lid- Lidia said nothing. She appeared to be deep in thought.
“ Come along Mr. Sook.”
With that he turned and headed back to the bridge.
* * * *
As the Captain stepped off the turbo lift he said straight away. “ Has anything changed Sub-Commander?”
“ No Captain, the large ship is ten thousand kilometers ahead, they don’t appear to be moving but they have charged weapons.”
“ Open a channel, I want to talk to their Captain. On screen.”
A few moments later an alien appeared on their viewfinder. He was very large with very fierce features, not unlike a Klingon.
“ I am Captain Angus Hemorrhoid of the star ship DVD, we are on an exploration mission for the Federation of Planets, from the Alpha quadrant. There is no need to charge your weapons, we mean you no harm.”
The alien’s expression did not change. “ We will be the judge of that. We know that you have come after us to rescue the General. Be warned that if you come any closer we will fire upon your ship.”
The Captain looked puzzled. “ You must have us confused with some other ship. We know nothing of a General and we know nothing about you.”
Before the Captain could say anything else the alien disappeared from the screen.
“ What do you make of that Mr. Sook?”
“ The alien space ship is at a dead stop because it appears to be under repairs. From what I have dedu
ced, they took phaser fire recently.”
“ What else?”
“ I can tell you that they will finish repairs very soon. My scans reveal that all personnel onboard that ship is of one race of alien apart from one life sign. Of what species this is I cannot tell you. It does not appear in our data bases.”
The Captain thought for moment. “ My guess is that the General has been kidnapped by these aliens.”
Mr. Sook agreed. “ That would be my conclusion also.”
“ Perhaps we should try and beam the General off that ship. Would that be considered sticking our noses in where they do not belong?”
Kazzie-Spockers turned around. “ If you want my opinion Captain, I think we should take the alien’s advice and be on our way. Once they finish repairs they will be a real handful.”
“ Noted Sub-Commander. We have a space ship here that is capable of traveling at warp twelve, surely with the firepower that we have we are not going to take this lightly.”
“ They will not be happy to have us go up against them!” she persisted.
“ Can we get a lock on the alien we think is the General, Mr. Sook? Or do they have their shields up.”
“ Yes I can get a lock on him Captain.”
“ Alright then, on my mark we will change our course by fifteen degrees at Impulse and then we will beam the General straight to sick bay. Then as soon as he is on board we go straight to warp factor twelve. After ten minutes we resume our course at Warp twelve again. Don’t forget to inform the Doctor what’s happening. Any questions?”
“ Yes Captain, why are we doing this? What if that life sign is not the General? If it is, he may not want to leave that ship. We are interfering and the result could be that we make an enemy of this alien nation for nothing.” Kazzie-Spockers looked concerned.
“ Sub-Commander I can only explain this in an old Earth saying…I am going with a gut feeling. For the very fact that this alien threatened the ship I am going to presume that I know better. I will not be threatened for no reason. This is one mystery I may be able to solve today. ” He paused for a moment.
“ Alright let’s do this thing. Make it happen.”
A few minutes later the life form had been beamed aboard and they were travelling at warp twelve.
“ Are we being pursued Mr. Sook?” The Captain asked after they had changed.
“ Not as yet Captain but I would recommend caution.”
“ Can we mask our warp signature?”