Chapter Twenty
When I came round again, I was lying on the floor by my paper plate amongst a scattering of peanuts and pretzels. Then I looked up and saw the man again, leaning over me. It was unmistakably him – my favourite rap artist, Nutty Bonkers. His sexy face creased with concern. A million thoughts encircled my spinning head as I looked into his big dark eyes. Had Dudley spiked my drink? Was I tripping? Had I died and gone to heaven? Had I received a blow to the head? Perhaps the past few weeks all been too much for me and this was what they called a nervous breakdown. Any of those things were possible.
Then Nutty’s gorgeous face was eclipsed by a much less welcome sight as Dudley leaned across him and asked, “Are you alright?”
Of course I wasn’t alright. I’d just been having the most stunning hallucination ever, until Dudley got in the way and ruined it.
I didn’t answer him.
The watching crowd began taking pictures with their phones.
Then Nutty’s face appeared again and I stared back at him, unable to speak.
Nutty and Dudley lifted me and helped me onto a chair, every eye in the room upon us, then Rose brought me a glass of water. My hands were all shaky and numb, so she had to hold the glass for me. I drank very messily, water sloshing down my beautiful dress, the whole room still watching, people still taking pictures.
I looked at Nutty again. Out of the blue, I suddenly stopped feeling so overawed. There was something about him which inspired a strange confidence from somewhere deep within me. It was the oddest experience ever.
“Nutty!” I exclaimed.
“Yazmin!” he said, gazing into my eyes.
“Oh Nutty!” I sighed, gazing back.
Then Dudley rudely interrupted us, “Nutty saw our picture in the paper. He’s been pestering me to meet you ever since. Keeps calling you his dream girl.”
I stared at Dudley, wondering if I’d heard him right. Nutty Bonkers had been calling me his dream girl? His heavenly posters had adorned my walls since I was fifteen. This couldn’t really be happening, could it?
Nutty pulled up a chair and sat beside me, smiling nervously.
“I can’t believe it’s you,” I said. “I’ve been a huge fan since the day I first heard Madman in a Bunny Costume. It’s still my most favourite tune ever.”
He looked surprised. “You’re kidding me!”
“No. Why would I? I was in this very room skanking to Witch Babe at a Halloween party a few weeks ago.”
“Wow Yazmin,” he said, in a shaky voice. “This is so cool!”
“I know. It’s like some mad fairy tale.”
“Mad Fairy Tale – good title for a tune. I might just write it!”
“I must be dreaming,” I sighed.
“Listen, could I…?” he said nervously. “I mean … Would you mind if …? Never mind.”
“What?”
Dudley interrupted us again. “He’s a little nervous with beautiful girls. He’d like your number.”
“You really want my number? Of course you can have it!” I reached into my bag and pulled out my embarrassing phone. “This is just a temporary phone till I get an upgrade – my best one fell down the loo. I don’t know the number so can you text yourself with it?”
“Sure!” he replied.
I noticed his hands were visibly shaking as he tapped his number into my phone. He reminded me of myself. It seemed the man could perform energetically in front of crowds, and yet was all jittery when talking to me. I wasn’t the only person who was seriously shy around people I fancied – one of them was my favourite star – and my favourite star was shaking in my company! In fact, this was the first time I’d ever talked to a man and been more confident than he was!
“How do you know Dudley?” I asked.
“I’ve known him for years – he co-wrote some of my material with me – including your favourite.” Nutty’s voice still shook. His beautiful stomach was obviously tied up in knots.
I was completely taken aback. “Dudley Mountain co-wrote Madman in a Bunny Costume?”
“Yeah – the title was his idea. He’s got a great sense of humour, you know.”
“Really?”
I’d read loads about Nutty – I knew he was three years older than me. I knew he was born in Brixton, and that he had a brother and sister. I knew all his songs and what schools he’d attended and everything. But I had no idea Dudley, of all people, co-wrote some of his best tunes.
I was beginning to see Dudley in a different light now. He’d invited my favourite star to his party and introduced him to me! And to think I’d even purchased a spell to keep Dudley away! Then I thought about the love spell. Perhaps the spell had actually worked – maybe it had brought the real man of my dreams to me. How many people in their lifetime meet their favourite star in the way I’d met Nutty tonight? Not many! I’ll never know if magical unseen forces were at work here. Dudley already knew Nutty after all and Dudley knew me too – it probably had nothing to do with Maisie then, but the night was undoubtedly the most magical night of my life so far.
I caught Dudley smiling, as he observed how well Nutty and I were getting on together. It seemed that perhaps a glimmer of sweetness was there, buried somewhere beneath the promiscuity and the slovenliness.
Then Nutty said he was tired as he’d been in the recording studio all week, and that his car was parked at Dudley’s place. I think he partly wanted to get away because he felt he was making a fool of himself. He asked how I was getting home. I felt a bit embarrassed about saying my mum was picking me up, but I didn’t have enough money for a taxi, so I told the truth.
“That’s great!” Nutty said, his beautiful dark eyes twinkling. “I’d love to meet your mum.”
“And she’d love to meet you,” I said. “She’s a fan too.”
“That’s awesome! Well, I guess I’d better tell Dudley we’re leaving.”
He made his way to Dudley, who now had his arms around Rose.
Suki smiled at me. “I don’t suppose …” she began.
“Of course we’ll give you a lift too!” I said, hugging her.
Poor Suki might have won the challenge, but it looked as though I could well be the biggest winner in all this with Suki’s poor little heart broken, and me potentially in a relationship with my favourite star!
I phoned Mum, but there was no reply.
Nutty returned, and I apologised for the fact I couldn’t reach her.
“That’s ok,” Nutty said gently. “I’ll give you both a lift.”
As Nutty and I linked arms and moved through the crowd, I saw Tracy narrowing her eyes at me jealously. OMG! That was the golden cherry on top of the sparkling cake!
We caught a cab to Dudley’s place. Parked in the driveway was Nutty’s car – a sporty black VW Polo. Very nice, but a few years old and not the flashy car I’d imagine him driving.
When we reached the flat, I placed my key in the lock and flushed red with embarrassment as we stepped through the door. Mum was drunk and playing my favourite Nutty Bonkers tune, which wouldn’t have been so bad, but she was making up her own words!
She’d changed the words from “Madman in a Bunny Costume,” to “Stupid Bastard in a Straightjacket.”
Suki, Nutty and I froze as we stepped into the hall. Then Mum turned around and stared at us.
“This vodka is something else!” she exclaimed. “I can actually see Nutty Bonkers stood between you both – it must contain drugs!” She hiccupped loudly, before continuing with the tune. “Stupid bastard in a straightjacket! Stupid bastard in a straightjacket!”
“Mum!” I cried. “It is Nutty – we met him at the party.”
“Shut up – it isn’t!” she said, plopping back down on the settee.
We cautiously entered the room as Mum turned around and rose to her feet again.
“I can still see him!” she said, staggering about as she tried to fully focus on his face. She moved closer, held out her hand, touched his jacket, and breathed
, “Oh my stars - it is him!”
“Have a coffee Mum!” I said, as she collapsed on the floor in shock. “I’ll make you a decaf.”
“Sorry Nutty,” Mum said, her speech pretty slurred. “I don’t normally make my own words up …”
“It’s fine,” he politely replied, now sounding more like the famous and more confident Nutty I’d been a fan of for so long. “I like creative people – perhaps you can write my next tune with me.”
“Did you hear that?” Mum beamed. “I’m writing his next tune with him! We can name it after me – Lorraine.”
“Pretty name,” Nutty said. “Now let’s see. What rhymes with Lorraine?”
“Insane,” I said.
“Watch it – cheeky!” Mum said. “I’ve got a better one – champagne!”
I hurried to the kitchen, then rushed back with a tray of steaming decafs. Overawed by Nutty’s presence, and still traumatised by her hellish trip with Mick, Suki was unusually quiet, but Mum was louder than ever.
“It’s very late!” she boomed. “Why don’t you both stay here? Nutty can sleep with me!”
“Mum!” I screamed, feeling embarrassed by her behaviour.
“Keep your voice down!” Mum cried – you don’t want to kill another neighbour.”
Nutty choked on his coffee. “Kill another neighbour?”
“She screamed in the night and killed someone!” Mum exclaimed.
Wide eyed, Suki and Nutty turned to me, waiting for an explanation.
I swallowed hard. “The old man downstairs died. I didn’t do it.”
Nutty looked seriously frightened.
“You told me the old man had a heart attack,” Suki said nervously.
“I had a nightmare and screamed. Mum believes my scream gave him the heart attack. But he was very old.”
“I think I’d better be going,” Nutty said, putting his coffee down. “I’ll call you.”
He hurried out the door. I anxiously followed him down to the carpark.
“Mum doesn’t drink very often,” I said. “She can be a bit mad, but she’s lovely most of the time. I hope she hasn’t put you off.”
“Nothing could put me off you Yazmin,” he said, leaning forward to kiss me.
The kiss didn’t happen. Just as our lips were about to touch, Mum came staggering across the carpark shouting, “You forgot your car key, Mr. Bonkers!”
“Thanks,” he said, as he took the key from Mum. “Must have dropped it.”
“I know your sort,” Mum said. “You dropped it so you could return for it when Yazmin was asleep and sneak into my room. Naughty boy!”
Nutty forced a false laugh. “I’ll call you,” he whispered in my ear.
“Can’t wait!” I said softly, gazing into his beautiful dark eyes.
Nutty climbed into his car and sped away. Mum and I waved goodbye and returned to the flat.
Suki slept on our sofa for the night and I lay awake, ecstatic, not quite able to believe the events of the evening. My favourite star had picked me! I kept looking at his number – he’d programmed it into my phone. Afraid the phone might break or get lost, I switched on the light, wrote his number in my diary and then on three separate pieces of paper which I placed around the room – one under my pillow, one in my bottom drawer and one tacked to his largest poster. I switched off the light and lay there grinning like some crazy lady, until my face started aching and anxious thoughts began to bombard my brain. Nutty was a friend of Dudley’s – had he asked me out for a bet? Had this been done to get back at me because the aging rocker knew I couldn’t stand him? Were they just having a laugh? But then I thought again how sweet and nervous Nutty appeared to be. He appeared to really, really like me. I just had to hope he wouldn’t lose his nerve or change his mind and fail to phone me.
I eventually managed a couple of hours sleep after becoming content with the fact that at least I’d met him and he liked me. Even if I never saw him again, I’d have the wonderful memory for the rest of my life. Knowing Nutty liked me was also likely to give my confidence a huge boost, especially my confidence with men.