He nodded his face over mine.
I continued, “But the ending…you said you were doing the right thing. I thought—”
He cut me off with a kiss again then said, “I figured you might assume that. But the right thing…was admitting that I couldn’t possibly fully love her if my heart beat faster for someone else.” His hands cupped my cheeks. “My heart hasn’t shut up since it spotted you standing in that garden. I finally listened. It just took some time to clear my head enough to really understand what it wanted.”
I was sure it was a long story, that ending things with Chelsea wasn’t easy for him. I knew he’d genuinely loved her and that he’d tell me everything in due time, but now was not the moment for that.
As if he read my mind, he said, “I promise I’ll tell you everything about what happened, but not now, okay? I just want to be with you.”
“Okay.”
I wrapped my arms around his neck and let out a breath so intense, you would have thought I’d been holding it for seven years. Maybe I had been. We kissed like our lives depended on it, not coming up for breath for at least the duration of three consecutive songs. I was sure my friends saw us, but I couldn’t take my eyes off him long enough to check for their reactions. They probably thought he was a random hookup, and there would be a lot of explaining to do at work. I pressed my body into his and could feel his erection through his jeans. We were practically making love on the dance floor.
This was surreal.
He spoke into my ear, causing me to shiver. “Do you want me, Greta?”
“Yes.”
“Do you trust me?”
“I do.”
“I need you to let me have you now.”
“In the club?”
He smiled over my mouth. “I wanted you to finish reading, to know everything before I came to you. I’ve been wandering around this city hard as a rock for three days just thinking about being with you. Your apartment is too far from here. I can’t wait anymore.”
“Where can we go?” I asked.
“I don’t care, but we need to figure it out before I take you right here on this dance floor.” He grabbed me by the hand. “Come on.”
He ran my fingers through his and led me through the thick humid air of the club. All of the hairs on my body stiffened. What we were doing felt dangerous. Elec was a full-grown man now. When I was last with him sexually, he was practically a boy. I was sure he’d gotten even better in the years we were apart, and I wasn’t sure what I was in for. It had been a really long time since I’d even been with anyone. He was going to be able to tell how long it had been.
There was a door leading to a back room, but when Elec tried to open it, it was locked. He looked back at me with a smile that gave me the chills. “You said you trust me, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Wait here.”
He opened a back door that looked like a fire exit and peeked outside before returning to the spot where I was standing.
“I want to give you a choice depending on what you’re in the mood for.”
“Okay.”
“We can go find the nearest hotel, and I can make love to you in a bed or...”
“Okay. Or?”
“Or we can go outside right now and fuck hard in that alley.”
Never had the muscles between my legs throbbed so intensely in anticipation of something. My body had clearly chosen for me, wanting to completely surrender to him. I needed this just as much as he did. I wanted it hard, and I wanted it now.
“I want option b.”
“Good choice.”
He opened the back door and led me outside. The alley was desolate. A thin layer of fog coated the air. We wandered a bit until we came to a somewhat hidden alcove.
“No one will see us here,” he said as he gently backed me into the brick wall. “I’m dying to take you out of your comfort zone.”
My chest was heaving from the excitement of not knowing exactly what he was going to do to me. I just knew I wasn’t going to stop him. I was going in happily blind. I was shaking a little.
“You’re nervous? Don’t be scared.”
“I’m just excited. It’s been a while.”
“Your body will remember me.”
Elec pulled the top of my dress down so that my bare breasts were exposed. He gently pushed all of my hair back before not so gently grabbing a hold of my neck. It felt good, though. He lowered his mouth to it, grazing me with his teeth.
“This fucking neck…was almost the death of me…my favorite thing in the entire world,” he said as he sucked and groaned into it, vibrating through my skin. “I can practically smell how much you want me, Greta. He kept one hand on my neck and lightly pinched my nipple with the other. “Look how hard these are. I don’t think I’ve ever seen your nipples when they weren’t hard as steel around me. And I wish you could see your own face. Even in the dark, I can see how pink your cheeks are right now. It turns me on to no end knowing that I have that kind of effect on you. I want you to know I’ve never wanted anything more in my entire life than to reclaim every inch of you. I’m going to do that now. Okay?”
I nodded, so turned on I could barely breathe. I dug my fingers into the thick black waves of his hair as he kissed upward to greedily feast on my mouth. I savored the sweet taste of his breath, and the scratch of his scruff on my face. There was nothing delicate about being with Elec, even at his softest. I flicked my tongue over his lip ring, and he growled when I lightly pulled on it. I couldn’t get enough of his mouth. I wanted it all over me.
Wetness was pooling between my legs as he knelt down on the concrete to lift my dress and slowly pull my underwear down. He looked up at me and flashed his beautiful teeth. “You won’t be needing these,” he smiled and added, “for at least a week.” He promptly put my panties in his back pocket. My legs were quivering.
He stood up slowly, and the sequence of events that followed was nothing short of a perfectly choreographed erotic tease. Every sound, every movement was hotter than the last: the unfastening of his belt, the swift lowering of his zipper, his teeth ripping the condom wrapper as he looked at me, the sound of the rubber spreading over his beautiful cock that had been dripping with precum around the piercing at his tip. I was pulsating with need.
His eyes seemed to have darkened to a charcoal hue. Leaving his jeans on, he lifted me up and wrapped my legs around his waist, backing me against the brick wall. “Tell me if it gets to be too much,” he said gruffly.
“It wo—”
Ah!
He entered me in one stabbing thrust. He moved his hand to rest behind my head as a shield because he realized he’d almost given me a concussion.
His mouth stayed on my neck, gently biting as he fucked me, the heat of his cock searing. Each movement was harder than the last and only a second apart from each other.
He groaned loudly with each thrust. Someone was going to catch us. This was the roughest sex of my life, second only to the time he took me on the floor of my bedroom seven years ago. I hadn’t had sex in almost two years, and you wouldn’t have known it by how easily my body conformed to him despite how massive he was. I think I’d been wet and ready for him since the moment I first spotted him again in the garden.
He continued to fuck me, angrily and unbridled. “No one should have ever had this but me,” he said over the skin of my neck. He pushed into me. “I let you go.” He pushed deeper. “I threw you away.”
I started to move my hips, impaling myself on him. “So, take me back. Fuck me harder.”
My words set him off, and he accepted the challenge. He shifted me around so that his back was now to the wall, and he no longer had to shield my head from it. He repositioned my legs around him and wrapped his hand around my neck using the other to hold me up. He looked into my eyes while he moved in and out of me as he choked me lightly, just enough that it was pleasurable. Knowing how much that turned him on made me crazy.
Luckily, no one ha
d come outside. We were still alone in the foggy night. The only sounds were the slapping of our skin, the clinking of his belt buckle and our breathing, which had fallen into a synchronized rhythm.
I reached my hand to lift his shirt halfway up so that I could see his abs. They were harder than I remembered and looked like they’d been cut from stone. I wished we could have been skin-to-skin, but getting fully naked would have been risky here.
“Don’t worry. Later, we’ll take it off,” he said. “We’re gonna do everything tonight.”
An orgasm was starting to roll through me suddenly. I didn’t even have to say anything. It amazed me how well he knew my body.
“You’re coming,” he said. “I remember how it felt. Look at me.”
He held my neck and looked into my eyes as he rocked his hips, fucking me as hard as he could until he shuddered.
It took several minutes for my breathing to come down. He continued to hold my limp body as he kissed my neck.
“I love you, Greta”
I loved him so much that I couldn’t even form the words. So many feelings had risen to the surface, but fear had trumped all.
“Don’t leave me again, Elec. Don’t go back to her,” I said.
He held me tighter. “I won’t, baby,” he said, lifting my face to meet his eyes. “Look at me. You’ll never have to worry about that. I’m not going anywhere. I know I have to prove that to you, but I will.”
He put me down and fastened his pants before lifting me up again. His feet crunched on the gravel as he carried me in his arms to the nearest sidewalk where we caught a cab.
It still felt like a dream.
In the backseat, I leaned my head against his chest. His heart was beating fast against my ear as he gently caressed my hair the entire ride to my apartment.
When we entered my building, his hands were on my shoulders as he kissed the back of my neck the entire way up the stairs.
I fumbled with the keys and once inside, I had the sudden urge to do something I’d never done before.
I backed him against the door that had just closed behind us and lifted off his shirt. The look in his eyes was a mix of hunger, shock and amusement at my boldness.
My tongue circled along the ring on his nipple and licked down every taut muscle of his chest right down to the two shamrocks. I got down on my knees, and when he realized what I was about to do, his chest started heaving.
“Fuck,” he said huskily. “Is this really happening?”
He wasted no time ripping off his belt and throwing it to the ground. I lowered his boxer briefs and lifted his cock out, taking a moment to marvel at its girth, its length, its heat and the shiny ring at the tip. I’d fantasized about sucking him off more than anything because it was the one thing we never did.
He bunched some of my hair between his fingers. “I can’t tell you how many times I have dreamt of fucking that beautiful mouth. Are you sure you want to do this?”
Instead of answering him, I flicked my tongue over the metal ring and savored the salty taste of the precum on his tip as I stroked his length. With each pump, with each lick, he became wetter.
His abs tightened, and his breathing was labored. “Shit. That’s such a tease.”
I stopped and licked my lips as I looked up at him. He closed his eyes in response. Elec was always so controlled, but now he was at my mercy, and that turned me on.
His eyes were still closed when I took him down my throat for the first time. The sounds of pleasure emanating from him were so damn sexy and only encouraged me to take him even deeper and faster. I loved the smooth feel of him filling my mouth. I couldn’t get enough and sucked harder. I was so wet and could have come so easily from this if I touched myself.
He dug his fingernails into my hair and pulled on it. “Stop. You’re gonna make me lose it, and I want to come inside of you.”
I sucked him harder. “No,” I said, wanting him to come in my mouth.
His breathing was erratic. “Are you on the pill by any chance?”
I nodded yes. “I have been for years. It regulates my cycle.”
He pulled out of my mouth. “Stand up and turn around.”
My heart was racing as he lifted my dress over my head. He grabbed my hips and sunk into me. Without a condom, the hot, wet feel of his skin inside of me, and the sensation of the metal ring were almost too much to bear. Every feeling was enhanced.
His hands gripped my ass as he fucked me. I could hear my wetness as he moved in and out. I was ready to come at any moment, so aroused after sucking him off and his taking me bare.
“I can’t ever use a condom again with you,” he breathed out. “This feels too good.”
I was starting to come. “Come inside of me now.”
He pumped into me so hard, I was sure I’d have bruises on my ass tomorrow. “Fuck…Greta…oh…” He kept moving in and out until there was nothing left and even after, he continued fucking me slowly for a while.
Elec finally pulled out of me and flipped me around to kiss him. He chuckled. “We couldn’t even make it past the front door. Do you realize that?”
“I think I could even go again.”
“Good, because I’m nowhere near done with you tonight,” he said, dragging me to the bedroom as his pants hung down his waist.
***
Four lit candles flickered around us as we sat in my bed at four in the morning feeding each other ice cream out of a Ben and Jerry’s container.
“So, how did you know where to find me tonight?”
“Well, when you sent me the text that you’d finished, I was sitting at a Starbucks around the corner from your apartment. I came straight here since I assumed that’s where you were reading. I wanted to go right to you and surprise you. I waited on your steps. This…person…who said she was your fairy godmother came up to me and said, ‘Alec, right? I’d recognize you anywhere from the description my Greta gave me. I knew you’d be back for her, you dumb fuck.’”
“Are you serious?” I burst into laughter. “That’s Sully. She is like my fairy godmother.”
“Well, you do realize your fairy godmother has a bigger package than mine, right?”
“Yes, I’m well aware of that. We just don’t discuss it.”
“You must have given her an earful about me. Anyway, I just needed to get to you and asked if she knew where you were.”
“So, she gave you the name of the club?”
“Not at first. I think she wanted to make me suffer.”
“What did she do?”
“She made me take off my shirt.”
“Are you kidding me?”
“I’m dead serious.”
“That was it?”
“I wish.”
“What?”
“She made me hold up a sign made out of cardboard that said ‘fuckface’ and took a picture of me holding it.”
I covered my mouth and spoke through my hand. “What?”
“Yeah. Then, she said it was collateral.”
“Sully is nuts.”
“Well, he…she obviously cares about you. I can relate in that sense. Anyway, it was only after I let her take the picture, that she gave me the address of the club and said, ‘This is your last chance.’”
“Wow,” I said.
“Yeah.”
Elec turned to me. “I need you to know something.”
“Okay…”
“Earlier tonight, after we finished in the alley when you told me not to go back to Chelsea, that was hard to hear. There’s a part of you that doesn’t trust that this is real, and you’re still traumatized by my leaving you in the past. It made me realize just how badly I hurt you, how much work I have cut out for me.”
“I was just very emotional at that moment, especially after reading your book all day. Every feeling including my biggest fear came pouring out.”
Elec took the ice cream from my hands and put it aside. He placed his hands on my cheeks. “There was never any contest. I love
d Chelsea, but it was by default. I love you so much more. Every second I was with you again, I had to constantly reassure myself that I loved Chelsea, which is not something that you should have to do. My feelings for you were so powerful that they scared the shit out of me. The second I got on that plane, I knew I was really going back to California to end things with Chelsea. That was the right thing.”
“You hurt her pretty badly, didn’t you?”
“Yeah. She didn’t deserve it.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It would have been worse if we were engaged or married because I’m not sure the outcome could have been any different. It wouldn’t have been fair to stay with her and love you like I do in secret.”
“I feel like I know exactly how she must be feeling right now.”
“Yeah, you probably do. A part of me will always feel horrible about hurting her, but there was no way to avoid that. It took me several days after I got back to figure out how best to explain everything to her because I wanted to be honest about you. I didn’t do it immediately, but I never slept with her again; you need to know that. I made up excuses. The bottom line is, I didn’t want to come back here to you until I no longer had any baggage and until you knew everything about my past. So after I moved out of Chelsea’s, I spent a lot of time working on the book until I got it to a point where I was comfortable with you reading it.”
“Thank you for sharing it with me.”
He kissed me. “I love you so much, Greta.”
“I love you, too.”
“I’m not going back to California.”
“What? Not even to get your stuff?”
“No. I put it all in storage. Mami is doing okay for now. We need to go out there soon to visit, though.”
“We?”
I wanted to meet Pilar about as much as Dorothy wanted to meet the Wicked Witch of the West.
“Yes. I already told her about you. She didn’t take it well at first, but I explained to her how much I love you and that she needs to accept it. She will, Greta. And if she doesn’t, it wouldn’t matter anymore.”