Kenzi’s cell phone rang. “Hello?”
“Hi, Kenzi. It’s Emily. I’m almost finished with Taffy’s first sculpture. Would you like to look at it and tell me what you think?”
“I’d love that,” Kenzi said. “My mother is coming by this afternoon to help me organize some stuff. Is it at your apartment?”
“Yes, although now that I think about it, maybe I should bring it to you.”
“I don’t mind the trip.”
“You’ve never seen my studio here, Kenzi. Your brother decorated it with, let’s just say his sense of humor.”
“Asher has a sense of humor? I need to see this.”
Emily laughed nervously. “Could we rewind and pretend I never brought any of this up? I’m sure I shouldn’t have. Besides, it’ll all be put away in storage soon as it becomes the baby room.”
With a huge smile Kenzi said, “You know curiosity is now going to make it impossible for me to stay out of that room.”
Emily laughed again. “That’s why I’ll bring the sculpture to you. So, what time works? Four?”
“Four it is.” After Kenzi hung up, she thought about how much she was enjoying her new friendship with Emily. She saw her in an entirely new light. At first Kenzi had thought it was Emily’s kindness to Taffy that had won her over, but she saw now it was more than that.
Kenzi had spent a significant portion of her life focusing on what was wrong with her family, and that habit had extended to Emily. She and Emily had finally had a real talk and were getting to know each other.
It wasn’t easy to admit to Emily that she’d felt threatened by her bond with her mother, but once addressed, it was no longer an issue. Emily, like Sophie, was a people pleaser. Kenzi, too. Lexi said that was the problem with too many nice chefs trying to share a kitchen, for something new to happen someone had to stir things up.
It was an interesting metaphor, but Kenzi understood what she meant. Her life had needed a little stirring up and honesty was the key ingredient necessary for that to happen. Healing hadn’t been possible while all of them had worried more about hurting each other than working through their problems.
A commitment to facing problems rather than running from them was what was driving Kenzi to give back to her community. Yes, she’d been hurt, but there were people right now suffering in many different ways. She couldn’t help all of them, but she was determined to make a difference.
Taffy was finally bandage-free, and Kenzi had already spoken to a woman about taking classes so she could be a volunteer dog, a mascot of sorts for shelters who wanted to highlight success stories. It wasn’t clear if Taffy yet had the personality for it, but either way Kenzi felt the journey would be good for both of them.
It was with the same positive frame of mind that Kenzi was keeping her heart open to Dax, even though he hadn’t contacted her since his drunken message. She told herself she would wait for him to work his feelings out, and so far she hadn’t wavered. She didn’t want to pressure him into something he wasn’t ready for, nor did she want to chase him away. Waiting wasn’t easy, but Dax had shown her time and time again that he heard her and cared about how she felt. This was her chance to show him that she heard him as well and valued his feelings.
It was a gamble. There was a chance that the more time they went without talking, the less likely it was she’d ever hear from him again. She shook her head to clear that negative thought.
Believing in anything is scary, but it is a whole lot less painful than believing in nothing.
Dax slammed a drawer in his London office desk and stood. He’d returned to London to clear his head, but it wasn’t proving to be as easy as that. The only thing he’d heard from Dean Henderson was that he needed more time to comb through his proposal.
Dax came back expecting his London team to be in disarray, but they were hitting their target goals, and that only irritated Dax more. He’d threaten to fire enough of them that Kate was presently running interference between him and his key people.
A week back in his normal routine should have been enough to shake him out of the foul mood that had descended upon him since he’d made up his mind to never see Kenzi again. No such luck.
No matter how he spun his time with Kenzi, he still hated himself for how it had played out. He’d met her during a time when she’d obviously been working through some painful memories. He’d taken advantage of that vulnerability and had sex with her even though he’d told himself he wouldn’t. And to add insult to injury, or injury to injury, he’d gone with her to see her parents—an act that she had seen as evidence that he felt more for her than he did.
He’d lost his temper and, regardless of what Sophie had said about it being no one’s fault, he held himself accountable for Kenzi getting hurt. He should have ended their friendship sooner. He should have followed Clay’s advice and stayed away from her.
He’d picked up his phone several times a day over the last week and almost called her. He wanted to make sure she was okay. He wanted to explain that he’d never meant to hurt her. He didn’t make the call, though, because her father had been right. If he couldn’t love her, the kindest thing he could do was end it before she became even more attached to him.
Clay called and asked if he wanted to run a 10K run with him in Greece. Dax declined. He said he was too busy. It was the first lie he’d ever told Clay, but he didn’t want to answer the questions his friend would ask if he told him the truth.
Dax didn’t have the energy for a run like that. He hadn’t slept well in over a week. He barely ate to the point where Kate had started ordering lunch for him. He felt like shit, and he knew he was beginning to look just as bad.
He told himself he’d probably caught something during his trip to the United States and was feeling drained as he fought it off. He refused to consider that how he felt was at all related to missing Kenzi.
Because he didn’t.
He wouldn’t allow himself to.
Cutting off all contact with her had been necessary and feeling one way or another about it would be a waste of emotion. Kenzi might be angry with him for not calling, but she’d soon see how it was for the best.
She’d move on, meet someone new, settle down with someone her family approved of, and have the children he knew she wanted. Dax punched the wooden cabinet door beside his desk and cursed as it fell to the floor.
Kate opened the door, took one look at Dax, and closed it hastily. He swore again and opened his office door.
“Go home, Kate.”
She nodded and turned off her computer. “Mr. Marshall, will we be returning to the United States soon? My sister is planning a family reunion, and she asked if I’ll be around. Since I go where you go, I wasn’t sure what to tell her.”
“I have no plans of returning to Boston any time soon. Whatever business we have with companies there can be conducted from here.”
“Thank you, Mr. Marshall.” Kate gathered up her purse and said, “I liked Boston. If you do decide to relocate there, I’ll happily return with you. I could always fly back for the reunion.”
“I have no reason to return to Boston,” Dax said forcefully.
“Of course. See you tomorrow, Mr. Marshall,” Kate said and ducked out.
Dax returned to his desk and spent the rest of the evening answering email. Normally his phone would have rung repeatedly with calls from his staff with either questions or updates. The silence was evidence that his staff was running scared. Productivity was up, which was the only good byproduct of an otherwise shitty week.
Chapter Seventeen
A couple weeks later, Kenzi found herself enjoying an intense game of Scrabble with her family. Grant was winning, but Asher was about to jump to the lead with a very long, dubiously spelled word.
Lance took out his phone to confirm the spelling.
Ian assured his brothers that winning or losing the game wouldn’t change history in any measurable way.
With humor twinkling in his
eyes, Grant said, “That’s what everyone says when they’re down by so much that they can’t win.”
“Really? I have a Z right here and a plan for how to use it,” Ian said.
Looking up from his phone, Lance said, “Did you know that there is a debate going on regarding changing the value of Z to six instead of ten points? Wow, these people are serious about their Scrabble. They have a whole rationale for why certain letters should be re-valued.”
“Nothing is changing during this game,” Ian said seriously enough that several of his brothers chuckled.
Sophie cut in, “Remember this is for fun, boys.”
Asher raised an eyebrow at Ian and joked, “Unless you lose, and then who enjoys that?”
Ian threw a Scrabble tile at Asher.
Asher threw one back at him.
Via Skype, Andrew chimed in from Afghanistan, “It’s all fun and games until someone loses an I.”
A general groan was echoed at his play on words. “That was so bad, Andrew. So bad.”
Lance found Asher’s spelling of the word and tallied the score. “Asher is winning by two points.” He looked over at Emily and Kenzi. “You know you can’t combine your points, right? And the goal is to have the most.” He ducked when Kenzi swatted at him. “Just making sure you understand the way this is played.”
Emily put her hand on her stomach even though it was still flat. “I can’t believe you would make fun of a pregnant woman. Don’t you know our emotions are all over the place?”
Lance’s mouth dropped open. He looked at Asher who nodded. Ian and Grant congratulated both Asher and Emily. Andrew made them promise to wait until he was back before birthing anything. Asher moved over to sit beside Emily, smiling with pride.
Kenzi winked at Emily. “Well played, Emily. Well played.”
Emily smiled, looking around the table. “I guess now would also be a good time to tell you that we’re moving our wedding date up.”
“Really?” Sophie asked, raising her voice as if she were surprised.
Kenzi coughed.
Asher put an arm around Emily’s waist. “We’ve decided to keep it simple. We’d like to have it at our place in Nantucket in September. Nothing big. Just family and close friends.”
Dale asked, “Are we inviting the Andrades? I feel like we should since they came out and supported Emily’s museum.”
Asher looked from his mother to Emily. “I’m leaving the wedding planning in Emily’s hands.”
“Smart man,” Lance said dryly.
Emily took a moment to think about it then said, “They’ve been so kind to me. Sophie, they’re your family. If you want them there, I think we should invite them.”
Ian shook his head. “There goes your small wedding.”
Dale put his hand on Sophie’s. “The wedding itself doesn’t matter. Who you choose to spend the rest of your life with does.”
Had anyone else said it, one of the men in the room might have made a joke, but Dale spoke with such deep sincerity that his words were followed by a quiet moment of reflection. He was the first one to break the silence. “Your mother and I went to lunch with Brice Henderson. He said Dean is definitely taking over his family’s company, and it looks like things might go well with that because Dax is helping him.”
Kenzi’s jaw dropped open. “Dax is helping Dean?”
“I don’t know the details of it, but Dax sent Dean a proposal on how they could work together to save it.” Dale nodded at his oldest son. “Asher, did you know about this?”
Asher nodded. “I didn’t know what to think when I first heard, but it seems straightforward enough.” He cleared his throat. “Marshall is willing to invest in Poly-Shyn and work with Dean to turn it around. I’ve known Dax for a long time, and I’ve never seen him help anyone.”
Kenzi’s heart started beating wildly in her chest. “He knows what Dean did for me.”
Ian reached over and held Kenzi’s hand. “I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but we might have been wrong about him.”
Asher shook his head slowly. “No, we’ve seen Marshall in action for a long time. People like that don’t change.”
Emily laid a hand on his cheek. “Unless they have a reason to. I remember a certain, let’s say . . . arrogant man, who told me that winning was all that mattered to him. That’s not what you say today. Is it impossible to imagine that meeting someone as amazing as your sister might change Dax’s priorities, too?”
Kenzi waited and hid a smile. You go Emily. You really are good for my brother.
Asher looked across at his sister. “No, it’s not impossible to imagine. I just don’t want to be wrong about him. Have you even heard from him?”
Kenzi clasped her hands on her lap. “I haven’t.” She looked at her father. Her mind was racing. Dax was helping Dean? That had to be proof that he loved her. But, as Asher had pointed out, it wasn’t enough for him to call her. “Dad, what do you think?”
Dale rubbed one of his temples in thought then said, “The night you were hurt, I had a conversation with Dax. I told him if he loved you he would always be welcome here, but if he couldn’t he needed to stay away from you before you became even more attached to him.”
“Dad,” Kenzi said in horror, “that’s why he didn’t call.”
Dale nodded. “Which I took as his answer, but if he’s helping Dean because he knows you care about him, I don’t know what I think anymore.”
“I do,” Sophie said softly. “Dax loves you. You need to let him know you’re not angry with him. Everything else will work itself out.”
Kenzi jumped to her feet. “I’m going to call him. Right now.”
As she walked out of the room with her phone she heard Asher ask, “Does this mean the game is over and I won?”
His question was quickly followed by the sound of laughter and tiles being thrown at him.
Dax was nursing his first drink an hour into a party he wished he’d said he wouldn’t attend. One of Clay’s friends had invited both of them to the opening of her restaurant. The place was loud and wall to wall with London’s elite crowd. There was a time when Dax would have used the opportunity to network or hook up with one of the women who came to events such as this to meet men like him. He wasn’t interested in either that night. He’d come because Clay had asked him to.
Clay came to stand beside him. “Do you know what’s not going to help you get laid tonight—looking like you want to kill whatever is at the bottom of your glass. Lighten up.”
Dax handed his drink to a passing server. “Sorry. I have a lot on my mind lately.”
Clay sighed. “No, you have one thing on your mind. One person. What I don’t understand is why you don’t do something about it.”
“This isn’t about Kenzi.”
Clay winked at a woman across the room then said, “Listen, when you first got all moony over her, I’ll admit I found some amusement in it, but now you need to get over her. Look at all the beautiful women here tonight. Half of them would go home with you if you gave them the least bit of encouragement. You want to get Kenzi out of your head? Get one of them in your bed. Works every time.”
Dax frowned at his friend. “I’ve got to go. I have an early morning meeting tomorrow.”
Clay shrugged. “Suit yourself. Hey, did I tell you I received an inquiry about the Atlantia. You may sell that thing yet.”
“Thanks for keeping feelers out there, but I’m considering keeping it. Forward me the information though. I’ll follow up on it.” Dax hadn’t done much with it since he’d returned to London, but there was no reason to hold onto it. No reason that made sense anyway.
Dax’s phone buzzed with an incoming call. He checked it and rocked back on his heels in surprise. “It’s Kenzi.”
Clay gave Dax a pat on the shoulder. “And the universe chimes in with its vote. You should see your face. Oh, my God, please make me your best man so I can give a long, painfully embarrassing speech that no one feels they can interr
upt.”
Dax waved Clay away and stepped out of the restaurant. By the time he made it through the crowd he’d missed the call. He didn’t give himself time to think about it, he simply called her back.
“Kenzi?”
“Yes.”
“Did something happen? Are you okay?”
“I miss you.”
Nothing could have prepared him for the wave of emotion that swept through him at those words. “I miss you, too,” he said in a husky voice.
He heard her expel a shaky breath. “I’m not angry with you, Dax. I understand why you haven’t called.”
“You do?”
“My father told me what he said to you.”
Which meant she knew he’d left because he didn’t love her. “He shouldn’t have—”
She cut him off. “It’s okay. Don’t feel badly about being honest. Being with you taught me that honesty can hurt, but it’s the only way to heal. So, I need to be honest with you, Dax. I love you. There has never been anyone in my life who has made me feel as good about myself as you have. You’re a good friend, an amazing lover, and I don’t care if you can’t ever say you love me. The way you listen to me, the way you care about what I care about, is more loving than any man I’ve ever known.”
Dax paced back and forth on the sidewalk in front of the restaurant. He wanted to tell Kenzi he loved her, he wanted to so badly he felt sick when he couldn’t. She deserved so much better than he was giving her. “I’ve been a miserable bastard without you.”
“Then come here. Or I’ll go there.”
Dax was angry with himself, angry with a past that held him back. A man walked in front of Dax then skittered out of his way after looking at the expression on his face. “You want marriage, kids, the whole happily ever after. I’m not that man, Kenzi. My father went through marriages like some people go through cars. As soon as it wasn’t shiny and new he traded it in for a new one. What if I am just like him?”
“Then don’t marry me,” Kenzi said in a soft tone that took his breath away.