"Adam, I think we should hang out again soon," she said, barely masking the regret in her voice as the words tumbled out.
"But aren't you busy?" he replied weirdly, his tone almost accusatory.
"What do you mean?"
"Nothing."
"No, say what you want to say, Adam. You clearly called me for a reason."
"I called to tell you I'm at Rainbow Lake because I thought you'd like that."
"I do. I'm glad you went up there ... it's good for the soul," she said, choosing her words delicately. "But what else is on your mind? I can sense something is bothering you."
"Something?" he replied, then laughed strangely before another gust of wind scratched against Nicole's ear.
"Yeah, what is it?"
"Too many somethings to count," he said darkly.
Awkward silence No. 3. Nicole rolled her eyes and pressed on.
"Can we get together tomorrow afternoon? At Whispering Pines maybe?" she asked.
"Why not today ... or tonight?" he countered with a hint of wise-ass in his tone now that aroused more suspicion in Nicole's increasingly agitated mind.
"Because I've got plans today and tonight," she said sharply. "You're fishing all right — fishing for information you obviously already have. Stop trying to bait me into an argument when you know I told you I just wanted us to be friends and, after the LSD stunt, I wanted some space even from that."
Awkward silence No. 4.
"I don't know who your mole is and I don't really care. Amazingly, I'm still willing to hang out with you tomorrow if you want to talk about what's bothering you, Adam, but I hope I'm not the source of all of this," Nicole said firmly. "I've done nothing but try to be honest with you, reach out to you and be friends with you. I backed you up when you demolished Timmy. I just wish you'd appreciate that and treat me with some respect in return. That's what friends do."
Awkward silence No. 5.
"Please say something, Adam. Do you want to hang out tomorrow or not?" she asked, utterly frustrated.
"Yes," he finally said.
"Good. I'll call you tomorrow morning, OK?"
"OK," he said, hanging up.
Nicole looked at her phone and shook her head.
"I actually have a date with Derek, but all I can think about is Adam ... again," she mumbled to herself. "God help me."
...
Crowded and noisy, it was a typical Saturday night at Chili's, the popular chain restaurant that offers spicy Southwestern fare.
Sitting across from each other in a cozy booth, Derek and Nicole were too distracted by each other to concentrate on the menus in front of them. The football player cleaned up well for his date with a dark gray dress shirt, black jeans and black shoes. Nicole wore a long, flowing black sweater over a white shirt, blue jeans and short black boots. Her brown-and-blue hair was swept up into a twist — not unlike her stomach, thanks to a combination of first-date butterflies, romantic excitement and inescapable pangs of doom about Adam. She smiled through it all and focused on Derek's confident, handsome face as he glanced at her frequently in between aimless stares at his menu.
"You guys were awesome last night, especially you. That game was fun to watch," Nicole said. "Who's your favorite pro football player?"
"I like Vince Wolfork. He's a beast," Derek replied, referring to the New England Patriots defensive lineman, who wears No. 75. "Do you have a favorite?"
"Tom Brady."
"Of course," Derek chuckled, adding "Mr. Handsome," as the waitress delivered their Cokes and a basket of nachos with salsa. Nicole shrugged her shoulders, smirked and smiled.
"Ready to order?" the waitress asked.
"No," they replied in stereo.
"Take your time. I'll be back," the waitress said before departing.
"I have no idea what to get, do you?" Nicole asked Derek as they both dunked nachos into the salsa at the same time.
"Probably steak fajitas," he said with a smile before eating.
"Oooh, that's a good one," she mumbled while crunching away and looking at the menu with more urgency now.
"I'm glad you came to watch us, Nikki," he said. "That crowd was sick last night."
"Yeah, some of those kids go crazy, especially the ones who paint their faces blue," she noted with a chuckle.
"Totally insane," Derek agreed.
"OK, I'm gonna order the chipotle chicken," Nicole suddenly decided, pushing her menu aside so she could focus on Derek. He did the same.
"What do you want to do for a career? Do you have that figured out yet?" she asked, closely studying his lively hazel eyes.
"I want to be a captain of industry," he deadpanned as Nicole burst out laughing.
"What?"
"Sounds impressive, doesn't it?" Derek asked, smiling now.
"I love that — a captain of industry. Why not? You're already a captain on the football team."
"It's just a cool way of saying I want to run something, you know, be the boss."
"What colleges are you looking at?" Nicole asked, leaning closer to him while playing with her straw.
"I'm thinking about Fairfield in Connecticut or Bryant in Rhode Island. They're both pretty good for business administration."
"Cool. And not too far from home. What business would you like to run?"
"Something with sports," he said. "Sporting goods, sports apparel maybe."
"That's great that you already have a clue what you want to do."
"Why, you don't?"
The waitress returned and took their orders, but Nicole didn't forget Derek's question.
"I actually wanted to be a firefighter when I was a little girl," she said with a laugh.
Derek laughed, too. "Hey, why not? You definitely surprised me with that answer."
"My Dad was a fireman at the time, but he ended up having an affair with a paramedic and that led to my parents' rather nasty divorce, so ..."
"You hate all firemen now," Derek said, completing Nicole's sentence with a flirty smirk and a chuckle.
"Something like that. No, I'm only kidding. But I don't want to be a firefighter anymore."
"Then what?"
"Ideally I'd love to be a forest ranger in a national park, but the federal government is such a mess," she said.
Derek nodded as he munched on some more nachos. "Hey, forest rangers keep an eye out for fires. That's similar to being a firefighter, isn't it?"
"Yeah, I guess it is," she said, briefly interrupting her thought process for a hazy smile. "The problem is they keep cutting and cutting, and the parks have to get by with a skeleton crew now, so there's probably no future for me with that."
"That sucks," he said.
"The short answer to your question is I have no clue what I want to do yet, but I'd like to go to a good college like Boston University or Northeastern and figure it out in the first year or two hopefully."
"Both good schools," Derek said. "You'll figure it out, Nikki. Just remember to say ‘no’ to drugs and you'll have a fine future."
His perfect comedic timing made her laugh, but then she opened her mouth in faux horror.
"You think you're pretty hilarious, don't you?" she asked, flirtatiously.
"I do."
"Well, you are, Derek, and I'm glad you took me out tonight," she said, gazing into his eyes and not looking away.
He matched her hopeful, sexy stare. "I'm glad, too."
Then he raised his glass toward her. She met him halfway, clinking her ice-filled Coke into his as her heart melted.
"A toast to our senior year and all the good times yet to come," Derek said as the waitress rounded the bend with his sizzling steak fajitas and her spicy chicken.
"I'll drink to that," Nicole said with a deeply contented face she usually reserved only for the most spectacular mountain views.
CHAPTER 19: A SHOT IN THE DARK
On Sunday evening, the 14th of September, Nicole was driving her car away from the diner where she had just told C
andace all about her amazing first date with Derek.
But where was she driving to? Home? The police station? Whispering Pines trailer park?
That morning Adam had told her he would be too busy to hang out with her Sunday afternoon — a complete reversal from what he said yesterday; yet completely consistent with his bizarre tone and unreliability of late. He also refused to divulge what he would be so busy doing. Nicole desperately wanted to believe he was just being a jerk to get back at her for going to New York instead of hanging out with him last Thursday; for making other people a priority over him since the LSD incident, or for some other reason he wouldn't discuss with her. But her gut told her otherwise.
Last Sunday, after the hike at Rainbow Lake, Nicole felt encouraged about her progress with Adam. But at 7:42 p.m. on this Sunday, as her car rolled to a stop at a red light, she dreaded what her hands might do next.
The light turned green.
One second.
Two seconds.
A horn blared from behind her as she gripped the wheel — knuckles as white as her teeth, everything clenched — a potential lives-changing moment frozen in time.
"Shit!" she shouted, pounding the steering wheel, hitting the gas and turning her car left toward the trailer park instead of driving straight toward home.
The police station was not an option yet. She had to talk to Adam face to face before she made a decision like that. She had to ask him about the fire alarm, study his eyes and make sure she got an honest answer this time. She would reveal to him the dream she had and gauge his reaction to that. And if he couldn't satisfy her with his answers enough to calm her fears, then she would be forced to drive to the police station ... tonight!
When Nicole turned into the trailer park at dusk, she nearly struck two boys skateboarding away from the entrance, in the middle of the road, with their backs to her. They barely even noticed.
Her heart pounding, Nicole pulled over angrily, got out of her car and slammed her door.
"What the hell are you two doing — in the middle of the road ... wearing dark hoodies ... at dusk? I nearly killed both of you!" she shouted.
Brody Upton spun around on his board to face her while his pal Vince wiped out and gazed up at Nicole from the pavement.
"Brody, is that you?" she asked.
"Yeah ... oh, hi Nikki," he replied, pleasantly surprised to see her after his eyes adjusted to recognize her face and blue-brown hair in the fading light. "Sorry ... we don't get many cars coming in and out of here on Sunday nights so we like to do a little boarding."
"OK, well now I know," she said, her mind already racing ahead to more pressing issues. "Where is Adam? Is he home?"
"No, I’ve barely seen him all day," Brody said as lanky-framed Vince shyly stood up behind him and stole a few glances at Nicole.
"What's going on with him?” she asked. “He's been acting really strange lately."
"My brother's always strange," Brody corrected her. "The only time he's less strange is when you're around, but you haven't been around here lately so he's back to being his old self again."
Nicole took a moment to digest Brody's unknowingly weighty words and then she moved closer to him.
"Brody, will you tell me the truth if I ask you a tough question?" she queried, putting a hand on the boy's shoulder as Vince watched in amazement. He had never seen a 17-year-old girl that physically close to his fellow freshman friend before.
"Sure," Brody replied, looking into her eyes.
"Why did you pull the fire alarm on Thursday?"
"Adam and Lee told me to do it," he said without hesitation.
"Why?" she asked.
"I'm not totally sure, but they told me to tell the principal that it was a message from them to protest their suspensions."
"I see." Nicole nodded, but her mind immediately flagged this as a bullshit cover for their real intentions. Those two likely would never protest any punishment that removed them from school.
"Yeah, they even took me out to McDonald's for lunch after I got off the bus that day ... I couldn't believe it," Brody added with a smile. Vince grinned, too.
Nicole's face, on the other hand, struggled to conceal her horror.
"Adam and Lee both took you out for lunch after you pulled the alarm for them?" she asked again, somehow hoping for a different answer this time.
"Yeah ... I was as surprised as you," Brody confirmed, looking more and more confused by her strange reaction. "What's wrong, Nikki?"
"I hope nothing, but I'm afraid a lot is about to be very, very wrong," she said, her hand trembling as she grabbed the iPhone out of her jacket pocket and attempted to call Adam.
"Damn you, Adam, pick up!" she said loudly, alarming Brody and Vince.
Adam did not pick up.
"Brody, do you have any idea where your brother might be right now ... any clue at all?" she asked desperately.
"He said he was going to the shooting range today, but that was sometime this morning."
"Do you have a phone on you?"
"Yeah."
"Please give it to me," Nicole said, "so I can give you my number."
Brody gladly handed her his phone. She quickly punched her name and number into his contact list as Vince looked on in awe.
"If Adam calls you, texts you or comes back here, call me right away, OK?" she asked urgently as she handed him his phone.
"OK. Where are you going now?" Brody asked as Nicole ran back to her car.
"I'm going toward the high school just in case Adam went there," she said.
"Why would he do that on a Sunday night?"
"I don't know, Brody. It's just a shot in the dark," Nicole said before turning her car around and driving off.
...
Nicole spotted Adam's abandoned red pickup on the right shoulder of the road about a half mile before the school and pulled over behind it. After flipping on her hazard lights, she got out of her car, gingerly stepping along the passenger side to inspect it. The bed was empty except for an orange hunting vest and an empty cardboard 12-pack of Natural Light beer. She thought it was odd that Adam would leave the hunting vest for anyone to take.
Nicole detected the scent of marijuana when she approached the passenger-side window, which was halfway down, and noticed the doors were unlocked. He had left everything to thieves but the keys ... and the beer, of course.
She also noted there was no orange police sticker on the windshield yet, warning the vehicle's operator to remove the truck from the side of the road or get it towed. That told her the truck couldn't have been sitting there for very long.
Nicole got back in her car and resumed her drive toward the school. At the next light, she took a left and, a quarter-mile later, steered right into the football stadium parking lot just in case Adam was hanging out there. The ticket gate was closed and the large, dimly lit lot was empty except for a beat-up black Mustang parked in the far right corner, next to the fence and the woods. It, too, looked abandoned, but Nicole didn't want to drive too close to inspect it just in case there were a couple of teens having back-seat sex in the partially secluded spot.
Nicole circled around in the lot and exited. Two minutes later, she pulled into the empty main high school parking lot. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw someone take off running down the grassy slope and into the practice field as her headlights flashed in that direction.
After parking with her headlights facing the field and the engine running, Nicole sprang out of her car and ran to the top of the hill to see who was fleeing.
"Adam? Is that you?" she shouted toward the dark field. The only big lights were well behind her in the lot and far to her right next to the school's main entrance.
"Yeah ... it's me," Adam replied, slowly approaching the base of the hill. "Nikki? What ... what are you doing here?"
Nicole immediately thought Adam sounded drunk, but she was relieved to have found him. "Wait a sec ... I'll be right back," she said, trotting back to her car to ki
ll the engine. She left the headlights on.
Seconds later, Nicole ventured down the slope to stand next to Adam. She tried to ignore the smell of booze and pot and get right to the point.
"I'm here looking for you, Adam," she said, finally answering his question. She zipped up her blue windbreaker on this clear, chilly September 14th night. The stars sparkled brightly overhead and the words "14th and Stardust" breezed through her mind as she thought of what to say next. "You look like you could use a friend right about now."
Indeed he did — drunk, depressed and disoriented in a dirty gray, long-sleeved shirt and jeans. One of his construction boots reeked of dog shit.
Adam nodded, pulled a travel-size bottle of Jim Beam out of his pocket, finished it off and flung it toward the woods. He staggered and nearly fell from the aggravated exertion of the throw. His brown eyes looked glazed and his stubbly face wore an expression of utter hopelessness. Nicole now had zero doubts about the dream she had at Lakes of the Clouds. She knew she was here with Adam at this moment in time for a reason.
"I found your truck abandoned on the side of the road. You haven't answered my calls or texts. You're drinking alone at our school on a Sunday night. Adam, can you please tell me what's going on so I can try to help you?" she asked as empathetically as possible given his obviously fragile state.
Adam tried to wipe the fog out of his eyes and focus on Nicole's face. Her genuine eyes offered him a rope out of the abyss and he desperately wanted to grab on. He deeply yearned to tell her everything, but he also believed she'd never want anything to do with him once all of it was revealed. The liquor helped him open up and tell her the truth regardless. He was so sick of carrying it around inside him.
"I didn't want to hang out with you today because ... cuz I don't know what to do … and I don't know what's gonna happen," he began, looking down at the grass.
"OK, Adam, what does that mean?" she asked softly but urgently.