After the first game, I had only had four fish while Nat was working on finishing the bag, poor thing. The good news? It looked like the sugar was helping. A knock sounded at the door. “Oh that’s the pizza.” I shot out of my seat and then paused halfway to the door. “NO cheating.”
Nat’s eyelashes batted at me as she lifted her hands in the air in innocence. Innocent my ass. That woman was competitive. But who cheated at the Swedish Fish game? I mean really.
I paid the pizza guy and brought it back to that damn coffee table. When I sat it down, Nat’s stomach growled.
“I knew you were hungry.” I went into the kitchen and grabbed some plates and napkins and set them down in front of her. “You gotta eat before you go to a party Nat. That’s like partying 101. Never drink on an empty stomach, kay? Promise me if you ever go to a party again and plan on drinking that you’ll eat beforehand?”
And the dad award goes to…
Shit. Way to kill any attraction.
I may as well have had the birds and the bees talk with her and handed her a tampon or something.
Nat rolled her eyes. “I promise, Mom.”
“Thanks, sweetie.” I patted her head and laughed.
We ate in silence, well I mean there was no speaking but there was a hell of a lot of looking. I’d look at her; she’d look back, then find sudden interest in her pizza. Then I’d clear my throat and watch the clock move on the wall. It didn’t help that Demetri kept drunk-texting me. I was glad he was safe, but still. The circumstances sucked. But I deserved it. I really did. I deserved to be tortured while I sat with Demetri’s girlfriend. Hands off. I needed to really learn the meaning of not getting involved.
My phone rang again. Pissed, I just tossed it under the pillow and swore.
She ate three pieces. I pretty much fell in love right then and there.
“Thank you.” Nat wiped her mouth and smiled.
I ate five pieces so she wouldn’t feel like a pig. I mean it was the least I could do. Poor thing.
“Anytime.” I took our plates back to the kitchen. “How about one more game?”
“You’re on!” She giggled. I paused. She never giggled, she laughed, she put her whole body into that damn laugh. But she never once giggled.
I dropped the plates off at the sink and returned to my seat, then announced. “You cheated.”
She giggled again. Her eyes twinkling. “No I didn’t.”
“You’re giggling.”
“I’m a girl!” She fired back as if offended. HAH says the giggler.
I narrowed my eyes at her. “Fine, I’ll play. But if I lose, I’ll know, Nat. I’ll know.”
“I’m not afraid of you.”
I leaned across the table, stopping when my face was only inches from hers. “You should be.” Because if she didn’t watch it. I was going to go back on my promise to my brother. I only had so much self control and when a guy didn’t have any vices anymore… well, that made him a bit desperate.
Nat’s eyes fell to my lips.
Her tongue snuck out.
I stifled a moan and jerked back, clearing my throat. “Do you have any sixes?” Shit I almost said sexes.
“Go fish.”
Glaring I leaned over to pick the fish off the table, my lips grazed the little red gummy without touching anything. Weird, how just having my lips close to where hers had already touched — made me want to drop the fish out of my mouth and lick. I was losing my damn mind.
Nat’s chest heaved as I slowly lifted my gaze from the table to her face. Her mouth parted a bit. My breathing picked up, and I fought with every bit of control I had to finish the game.
Ten fish later and I knew she’d cheated.
“I think I may be sick,” I announced before dipping my head back towards the table and grabbing another fish.
“Aw, too many fish? We can just call the game now. I mean, it’s not like you’re going to win.” Came her sarcastic reply.
The little cheater! I picked up the fish and spit it in her direction. I was resorting to elementary flirting. Her mouth dropped open, and then she grabbed the bag and started pelting me with fish.
“Ah!” I jumped out of my chair and tackled her to the floor, trying to force a handful of fish into her mouth. It was a reaction. One I wasn’t aware I was having until it was too late. Until my weight was nearly crushing her, until I felt her breasts graze against my chest. Until I felt every breath she took. Until I could almost taste the sweetness of her tongue.
Nat closed her eyes and shook her head back and forth to keep me from shoving the fish into her mouth. I laughed, and then that same movement started to make my body want to cry.
Nat’s eye flashed open.
I stared.
She stared back.
I felt my head lower, I wasn’t in control of my own body, I couldn’t help it. I didn’t want to help it.
Nat closed her eyes; our lips were about a half an inch apart.
“Alec!” The voice jolted both of us away from one another. I cursed and helped Nat up. Demetri was walking through the door… well, stumbling and winding through the hallway was more like it. He was still smashed.
“I can’t find Nat! I messed up! Where is she? Is she okay?” Demetri’s words were slurring together. “Some guy told me I was making out with a chick that wasn’t Nat. I didn’t know, Dude. Where the hell is she?”
Ah, so he was going to lie about it. I knew Demetri, he may be drunk but he knew he was making out with a random chick. He would have had to be very high not to know.
He tumbled into the living room, still not looking in my direction. He smelled like cigarettes and whiskey. “Where’s she, man?”
Nat cleared her throat. I wanted to step in front of her, but she seemed pissed enough to take care of herself.
“Natalee!” Demetri opened his arms; she stepped back.
“Just sleep it off, bro.” I tried to lead him towards the stairs but he fought against me.
“No! Natalee, I’m so sorry, Babe. I’m so sorry!” He fell to his knees and looked like he was ready to cry. “It wasn’t what you think! I’m so drunk — she had blonde hair, I thought she was you!”
I rolled my eyes. Please tell me she didn’t actually believe that shit.
“Really? And when you found out you were wrong you decided to do what? Kiss her back?” Nat yelled.
“I’m so sorry!”
“Sleep it off, Demetri.” Demetri stumbled against me again, this time I tried to steady him on the first stair but he stumbled backwards and took a swing at me. Hell no.
“A promise is a promise,” I muttered before punching my brother directly in the eye.
Demetri cursed as he tumbled to the ground and promptly passed out.
Nat covered her face with her hands. “Is he okay?”
Did I look like I cared if he was breathing? I shrugged. “Besides having a headache and the black eye I promised, yeah, he’ll be fine.”
Nat was still frozen in place.
“Come on.” Alec held out my hand. “Let’s go upstairs and get you into bed. I don’t care what you say. I’m sleeping on your floor just in case the drunk wakes up and decides to apologize again.”
“Okay.” Her eyes were still on Demetri. Feeling somewhat guilty I stomped over to where he was laying on the ground, picked him up and deposited him on the couch throwing a pillow at his face in the process.
“Happy?” I swore.
“Yes.” Nat shifted on her feet. Great, now I was scaring her. Had she any idea how important she was?
I led her down the hall to my room. No way was I leaving her in Demetri’s bed like a present just waiting to be opened. My curtains were pulled back letting in a light breeze that would lull me to sleep in seconds — had it not been drenched in Nat’s scent.
“I’ll just grab you some sweats to sleep in, kay?” I scratched the back of my head then went to a walk-in closet and turned on the lights.
“Will these work?” I t
ossed her a pair of sweats that would hopefully hide every curve of her body.
“Yeah, they’re fine.” She pulled them close to her chest and swallowed.
I looked down at the floor. “Do you want to shower?”
“Kind of, I mean, if that’s okay. If not, it’s totally fine. I can just go to sleep and—”
“Nat, stop talking so fast, you’re making me nervous.” At least that part was honest.
She snorted.
Okay fine. So we made each other nervous. “I’ll just sit out here and read for a bit. There’s fresh towels hanging up, and you can use whatever’s in the shower.” I stretched my arms above his head and could have sworn I heard Nat moan or something.
When I looked at her she quickly turned around and nearly collided with the wall.
“Careful.” I chuckled. Was it possible? That she was attracted to me? Even just a little bit?
She blushed and slammed the door behind her. I was waiting for the lock to turn.
It didn’t.
Damn it. Did the woman have no self preservation? For the love of God! All I had to do was walk in! And I’d see her naked.
Great. That wasn’t helping my current state of arousal.
I snatched a book off the nightstand and tried to focus on the words on the page, but the shower turned on.
And my imagination went into overdrive as I imagined water droplets falling off her body — soap sliding down her skin.
“Shit.” I closed the book and briefly thought about taking a dip in the ocean. I hadn’t had sex since the incident.
I wasn’t a freaking saint!
I needed to throw something, break something, kill something.
The shower turned off — and that was when I realized I had actually been sitting there sweating.
With a growl I peeled my shirt off and started rummaging through my dresser for something else.
A hand touched the skin on my back.
I jumped a foot. “Crap!” My body slammed backwards against the dresser. That will teach me to lust. “Sorry, Nat, I was lost in thought. Dind’t see you.” Nope I was too busy fantasizing about you.
Her eyes were trained on my collarbone. “What does this mean?”
Had the girl never seen a tattoo?
Nat’s hands slid over my skin. And I knew — I knew in that instant. I would do anything to keep her hands there.
History was going to repeat itself. And I was sorry — sorry all over again. Sorry that it had to be Nat, sorry that I was going to take her, sorry that I was going to break my brother’s heart.
Sorry that in order to keep mine intact — I needed her.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Demetri
I WOKE UP wishing I were dead. How much did I drink last night? I grabbed the water from my nightstand — the water I’m sure Alec put there — and chugged the entire thing then tried to stand.
My legs were wobbly but other than that I was fine.
Damn it.
I slammed my hand against the mattress. What the hell was wrong with me? Why did I keep messing up? I went to the party thinking I’d have one drink and I’d walk with Nat on the beach. Instead one drink turned into two, then four, then shots, then yeah… I groaned into my hands and reached into the front pocket of my jeans.
One pill.
One pill? I had one pill left? Did that mean I took three last night? My body started to shudder — mixing pills like that with alcohol wasn’t just stupid it was careless and I’d never been careless with my drug usage.
The sun wasn’t up yet. I watched the waves crash on the ocean, listened to the calm around me and suddenly felt like crying. Either that or ramming my head into the nearest wall.
I liked Nat. Like really liked her and I’d kissed another girl last night, pressured the girl I liked to drink, and then I’m pretty sure I yelled at her and got punched by my brother.
My life should really be a bad sitcom.
Two paths.
Why did the easy path have to be so damn easy? Would Nat forgive me? Hell, I wasn’t sure if I would forgive me if I were in her shoes.
Without a second thought, I got cleaned up and went downstairs to make coffee. I had a hell of a lot of groveling to do.
Alec was downstairs in his running gear drinking a protein shake.
“Ass hole,” He sang. “You’re awake.”
”You punched me.”
“You deserved it.”
I sighed, “I know.”
We fell silent. I shuffled towards the coffee maker and pulled out a mug.
Alec cleared his throat.
“Thank you,” I whispered, “For taking care of Nat, for, being a good brother when I just keep screwing things up… I just…” I felt my emotions take hold. Damn I just wanted to cry all the time. I hated that feeling. I hated feeling PERIOD. “Thank you.”
“Of course.” Alec said quickly.
Curious, I looked up.
He wasn’t making eye contact.
“Did you guys just stay up and talk or what?” I asked.
“We played Go Fish.” A ghost of a smile flashed across Alec’s face. “And then I put her in bed.”
“Without you?” I had to ask it. I hated myself for even needing to ask it. But it was Alec. He had a tendency to screw other people over.
“Yup.” He nodded. “All by herself.”
“Okay.”
“Demetri?”
“Yeah?” I licked my lips, waiting for the lecture I so desperately needed. “What’s up?”
“Fix it.” Alec’s eyes went dark. “Fix it or you’re going to lose her.”
“I will.” I stumbled over the words. “I swear.”
We didn’t say anything more to each other. I made coffee, then went upstairs and knocked on the door.
Nat stirred in her bed then let out a sexy little moan and stretched her arms above her head.
“You have no idea how much you affect me when you do that,” I whispered.
Her eyes flashed open.
Yeah I was fully aware that I looked like a nightmare. My eye was black and blue and I hadn’t even done anything to my hair. And my clothes probably looked out of place considering I’d thrown on something normal. That normal people wear. Like normal jeans and a normal white t-shirt.
Nat’s eyes darted to the floor where a pillow and blanket still remained, “He’s downstairs making breakfast. He said he’d give me some time to talk to you but that if I make you cry I have to drown myself in the ocean.”
She nodded. “I agree to those terms.”
“Ouch.” I chuckled and looked away. “I don’t even know what to say, Nat. ‘Sorry’ just seems lame. ‘I’m an ass’ sounds a little better, but I just don’t know what to say.”
I plopped down onto the bed and ran my hands through my hair. “I really like you. I’ve never liked a girl as much as I like you. I meant everything I said last night. I want to be with you.” She had to know that much was true. She had to believe me.
“And every other girl at Seaside,” she added, her lower lip quivering like she was going to cry. Shit. She could not cry!
“No!” I grabbed her hands and kissed her knuckles. My heart sank to my knees. “You don’t understand. I only want you. I know I seem like a screw up, and that’s because I am. I can’t believe I’m saying this. I think you’re the forever girl. The one you bring home to your parents, the one you spend Christmas with, the one you have children with. You’re that girl, Nat.”
Holy Hell. It was true. A little light just went on in my dark drug-filled brain. She was that girl — she was different, she was… I mean she could be… mine. My mind went to that place. The place where there weren’t any drugs, just me and her, laughing, holding hands, spending Sunday afternoons together in bed.
“I don’t know how to respond to that,” she whispered.
I sighed. “I don’t expect you to forgive me, Nat. What I did was childish and stupid. I got drunk at a party and made out wi
th a complete stranger just because she was in front of me. I don’t even remember who it was. I only know she had blonde hair. I really did think she was you, but when I noticed she wasn’t, I was too drunk too care.”
Nat hunched over. “Well, at least you’re honest.”
“Honesty sucks.” I exhaled and looked away, looking directly at her hurt my heart, and my heart hadn’t hurt in that way in a very long time. It was a new feeling, not being numb. I wasn’t used to it. “Nat, I want to be with you. Let me earn your trust again. Let me be the guy I’ve always wanted to be. I want to be that guy for you.”
Her eyes filled with tears. “I can’t save you, Demetri.”
“I don’t want you to. I just want you by my side as inspiration when I save myself.” Because I knew better than she did… it didn’t work that way. People didn’t save other people. You could only depend on yourself. Look at Alec. He was still trying to save me and what did that get him? A game of Go Fish and blue balls.
“Please, Nat.” I wasn’t against begging.
I reached out and cupped her chin, gently pulling her head closer to mine. Her eyes flickered with interest. Something was holding her back and I wasn’t about to let that something keep me from her.
I tried again, “Help me be better. I need you in my life, Nat. You’re like my sunshine, my air. I can’t explain it, I just know I’m lost without you.” My lips grazed her cheek then lingered.
“Don’t make me regret this, Demetri.”
My entire body felt free. “Really?” My smile felt so real.
She nodded.
“Do you want breakfast?” I pushed away from the bed and held out my hand.
She took it and mumbled, “I’m starving.”
Chuckling, I lifted her into my arms. “I bet you are. Though a little bird told me you ate quite a bit of Swedish Fish last night.”
“I’m going to kill Alec!” she yelled. Aw, how cute, she thought she stood a chance against that much muscle. Good luck.
I threw my head back and laughed. “I should have warned you how he plays Go Fish.” Or any game for that matter.
“He’s an animal!” she yelled as I carried her down the stairs. I wasn’t ready to let her go yet, and I wanted Alec to see that I’d taken the higher road.