Chapter Seven
“I turn nineteen on Christmas Day.”
“No way!” I sat straighter. “You’re a Christmas baby, too?”
“Too?”
“Christmas Eve.” I raised my hand.
“No kidding?” Jasper asked, offering me the last brownie. I took it, hoping he’d forget that I’d already eaten the first two, but I couldn’t help myself. The man knew how to bake!
We’d been out there at least an hour now, weaving in and out of conversation and silent moments, each of us smiling and laughing, sharing small facts about ourselves just to appease our curious minds. “So who’s going to throw your eighteenth birthday party?”
“Oh, I doubt I’ll have one. You know how it is. Birthdays get lost in the mix during the holidays. People get busy, tend to forget.”
“I won’t forget,” he said. “Mental note: Ally Montgomery celebrates her eighteenth birthday on Christmas Eve. I’ll drop by with a cake.”
“I’ll hold you to that,” I said, a smile gracing my lips. Jasper leaned over, nudging me playfully with his shoulder, and once again I found my head drifting down to rest on it. “I’m glad you came to check on me.”
“Me too.”
“But we should get back,” I said, hating myself for suggesting the idea.
I could’ve stayed out there talking to him all night, but we’d been gone for so long already, and I could only imagine the wild theories and speculation bouncing between my friends.
Peeling myself away from him, I stood up, offering my hand to help him up off the ground. I doubted he’d even need the assistance, but a wave of giddiness swept through me when he took my hand and pulled himself up. Once standing, he made no attempt to pull his hand away from mine.
Silence settled between us again as I looked up at him, watching the subtle movements of his eyes as they traced my face. The corner of his mouth kicked up in an adorable grin, and I wanted so badly to know what was going through his mind
It was contagious; studying his lips had left a goofy smile plastered across mine, and I could feel my heart very much alive and well in my chest.
It was only around Jasper that I became so aware of my breath, and it excited me how alive I felt with him right then and there. I’d never felt anything like it before, and I was teetering on the edge of something beautiful and dangerous. I had to back away. I wasn’t allowed to feel like this.
“We should go,” I said again, and Jasper nodded, shaking off whatever it was that’d kept him staring. I couldn’t peel my eyes off him. He was beautiful—inside and out. Just absolutely remarkable.
“Right,” he said, finally pulling his hand away from mine.
We walked silently across the barn, and Jasper killed the lights on the way out. We heaved open the heavy door together, and the face that greeted us on the other side wasn’t a friendly one at all.
“Dad,” I whispered, staring blankly into my father’s cold eyes, the very ones that were deadlocked in Jasper’s direction.
Dad stood only feet away, as stunned to see us as we were to see him. His lips clenched and a vein jumped at his throat, telltale signs that he could very well explode at any moment.
And I didn’t know what to do. Of all the ways to break the rules, this was possibly the worst offense. Alone with a boy.
“Mr. Montgomery,” Jasper said, stumbling over his feet as he took a few steps forward, his hand outstretched to shake my father’s. But Dad didn’t budge. He just glared at Jasper with the same hate-filled look I’d seen him give so many of my sister’s boyfriends. “I’m Jas—”
“I don’t care who you are,” my father said, forcing his words through clenched teeth.
Jasper turned a look over his shoulder to me, and I stepped forward.
“Dad, please . . . ”
I was stunned and confused, searching for the right thing to say. I didn’t dare ask what he was doing out at the barn. The lights were on, and no one was supposed to be out there. And though he liked to pretend he didn’t care about this place, the fact that he still watched over it like it was his child was proof enough that he wasn’t ready to let it go. But I couldn’t bother with that realization at the moment; there were much more pressing matters right before me.
“We were only—”
My words were cut short by Dad’s firm grasp on my wrist.
Without another thought, look, or concern for Jasper, Dad started back for the house, pulling me along behind him. My feet fumbled beneath me, and I struggled to keep up with the brisk pace he’d set.
“Dad, please stop, you’re hurting me,” I said, and his grip loosened with my plea. Each of us stopped, right about the moment Jasper caught up with us.
“Ally, are you—”
“I’m fine,” I turned to him, rubbing my wrist.
I couldn’t explain this to him—not now, not like this, but he needed to understand that I wasn’t in any danger. Dad hadn’t meant to hurt me, despite how it looked, and the moment he’d realized he had, he’d let go. He’d never hurt me before, and if the guilty expression on his face was any indication, he’d never so much as lay a finger on me again. His anger had just gotten the best of him, and he hadn’t realized the strength behind his grip.
Dad turned away from us to hide the tears welling in his eyes, and I wanted nothing more in that moment than to throw my arms around him and assure him I was okay.
I looked back to Jasper, heartbroken by the worry and uncertainty in his expression.
“I truly appreciate everything you’ve done,” I said to him, hoping he wouldn’t hear the nerves in my voice. “But . . . you should go now. Please.”
“I won’t leave you.” He reached forward to take my arm, but I pulled it away before he could examine my wrist. “Ally, you’re—”
“Please,” I begged. “Jasper, I need you to go. Can you please do that?”
“No,” he shook his head. “I’m going to walk you back.”
Dad scoffed. My eyes pled with Jasper to just walk away from this, but he insisted on taking every step back up to the house at my side. It was a bold move, and one that would only earn him more of my father’s disdain; Jasper didn’t seem to care. He was going to stay at my side for as long as he possibly could.
Dad walked behind us along the way, no doubt making sure neither one of us made a move out of line. I could feel his eyes burning at our backs, watching our every move, listening for even the faintest whisper. Jasper must’ve felt it, too, and not wanting to make any more trouble for either of us, he kept a reasonable distance until we reached the back door.
It was only at that point that he threw caution to the wind, turned into me, and wrapped me inside a long hug.
“I don’t feel good about this, Ally,” he whispered at my ear, his words so low that even Dad couldn’t hear from three feet away. “I’m not going to leave you.”
“Please,” I whispered into his neck and prayed Jasper would hear the desperation in my voice. He’d only make it worse for me if he didn’t back away.
Jasper eased himself back and lowered his face closer to mine. “Don’t make me go.”
“You have to,” I said, pulling away. I couldn’t look at him as I turned into the house, Dad right at my heels.
“Get upstairs,” he said. He didn’t even yell, which made it so much worse. I’d take the yelling over the disappointment in his voice any day.
“Please let me explain.” I turned to him. I couldn’t have him assuming anything. I knew how it looked. It looked bad. He’d probably racked up a list of charges against me as I stood there—lied about the sleepover, snuck out with a boy, violated his late wife’s sacred place. None of which were true, and he needed to hear the truth. I could spare us both so much heartache if he’d just listen. “I was at Carter’s and—”
“Go,” Dad said, pointing to the staircase. “To your room. And don’t come out.”
“For how long?”
“Until I say so. You’re gr
ounded. Effective immediately.”
I didn’t move for the stairs right away. I paused, watching the hurt twist and contort his face; I tried to rein in my emotions, but a single tear slid down my cheek as I looked up to my heartbroken father. I hated that I was responsible for all the conflict and anger he was feeling. I hated that I’d failed to protect him, and I’d only broken his heart further.
This time it was all on me.
First Mom, then Lucy. Now me—the very last one. We kept hurting him, and I didn’t know how to make it better.
“Ally, go,” Dad said, calmer this time, but he still pointed to the stairs. “Go to your room, and don’t come out.”