Read Swashbuckler Page 8

Only dalliances

  Will become my concern. My mother has secured,

  Enough unions. Those that exist must be nurtured.

  I no longer serve an ulterior purpose,

  I am to roam free and chance on my platypus

  (‘Tis the term for a man exotic and unique

  Who has sundry qualities, is a romantic).

  SWASHBUCKLER

  Nothing would make a happier man out of me.

  This unexpected turn of event, unlikely…

  I don’t –

  (Enter John)

  JOHN

  Your Ladyship, your Mother sent for you.

  MARIA CAROLINA

  Thank you, Mister Morgan.

  (To Swashbuckler)

  Our exchange is long due,

  Armand, but I fear we will have to reconvene.

  Meanwhile, please enjoy yourself.

  SWASHBUCKLER

  I will stay serene,

  Your Ladyship.

  (Exit Maria Carolina)

  Scene 2

  JOHN

  I was meaning to talk to you,

  Swashbuckler.

  SWASHBUCKLER

  Here I am. ‘Tis about the rescue?

  JOHN

  Most definitely. Where do you have the papers?

  SWASHBUCKLER

  Right here with me, why?

  JOHN

  Perfect, that makes things simple.

  (He draws his sword and threatens Swashbuckler with it)

  Hand them over!

  SWASHBUCKLER

  You?! The traitor?! Of all people…

  JOHN

  Me.

  SWASHBUCKLER

  ‘Tis all clear now. I thought you a laggard,

  What with you always late ; I thought you a coward,

  What with you shirking fights. It turns out I was off,

  Way off. It seems I haven’t sold you short enough.

  Oh, I see now…Clever…We made your job easy.

  You had them all along, we ensured your safety!

  We were escorting you to Prague with haste,

  Good, good…

  JOHN

  I see your mind is not a complete waste.

  SWASHBUCKLER

  ‘Tis why we found nothing in Strasbourg or Stuttgart…

  There was no messenger.

  JOHN

  You’re easy to outsmart.

  SWASHBUCKLER

  Your blunder was to think we wouldn’t find your lair.

  JOHN

  I underestimated Patrick and his flair.

  No matter, ‘twill all be fixed.

  SWASHBUCKLER

  Very good acting…

  I missed the obvious clues, I was unsuspecting.

  JOHN

  You were always too trusting. A stupid mistake.

  Now, the papers. I have little time.

  SWASHBUCKLER

  Will that slake

  Your thirst for power?

  (He draws his sword and fights back)

  JOHN

  Mine, my friends’…It will indeed.

  But it is not just power. It is wrath and greed,

  The establishment of our superiority,

  Our genius.

  (Enter two guards. They fight Swashbuckler while John stands back a little)

  SWASHBUCKLER

  Don’t you rather mean your vanity?

  JOHN

  Soon, many royalties will be gathered in here.

  They have the same vile flaws underneath a veneer.

  Your allegiance, Armand, is no better than mine,

  Only…different.

  SWASHBUCKLER

  I don’t try to undermine

  The well-being of the entire population.

  (Enter two more guards. While Swashbuckler is distracted, one of his opponents pierces his shoulder)

  Fie, scum!

  JOHN

  Only because you have no ambition.

  The French and the English will be clearly exposed

  For what they are : wretches! Your kings will be deposed.

  (Enter Henry)

  The security has clearly been overlooked…

  Anyone can enter in here!

  HENRY

  (He fights two of the guards)

  Whale. Oil. Beef. Hooked!

  JOHN

  You are a poet whose art should be commended.

  SWASHBUCKLER

  Henry, ‘tis high time for wrongs to be amended

  HENRY

  I live you five minutes to get myself a drink,

  You jump at the chance to unmask the missing link!

  SWASHBUCKLER

  You know me, I can’t go a day without a fight.

  JOHN

  One you will lose.

  HENRY

  This is a scuffle, not a plight.

  SWASHBUCKLER

  John? Your Butler, was he intent on betraying

  His beloved country?

  JOHN

  Did he hurt your feeling?

  HENRY

  Answer him, fiend!

  JOHN

  He was merely drowning in debt.

  To be settled, a condition had to be met.

  We asked a small favor, he complied out of fear.

  He was too proud, too vain, keen on staying a peer.

  SWASHBUCKLER

  (The second guard stabs Swashbuckler’s leg. He manages to knock out one of the two and kicks the other after slashing his face. He turns to John)

  Knave!

  (He disarms John and hurls him towards the door. Enter Maria Carolina)

  MARIA CAROLINA

  Armand, I forgot –

  (John pulls a dagger up from his sleeve and grabs Maria Carolina. He stands behind her, approaching his blade from her neck)

  SWASHBUCKLER

  Felon! Coward!

  MARIA CAROLINA

  What is –

  JOHN

  Now you know what to do if you want to appease

  The whole situation.

  SWASHBUCKLER

  Even you…you wouldn’t!

  JOHN

  I wouldn’t fail, surely no.

  MARIA CAROLINA

  Armand, you needn’t –

  JOHN

  Silence! Let us finish!

  SWASHBUCKLER

  Maria do not move!

  Do not try anything your heart would disapprove.

  (He gets the papers out of his coat, throws them to John)

  I hope they are worth it, now you can release her.

  JOHN

  With pleasure!

  (He pushes Maria towards Swashbuckler, grabs the document, shovels them in his coat and runs to the door)

  SWASHBUCKLER

  Coward! Just wait…

  (He collapses on the floor)

  MARIA CAROLINA

  You need a doctor!

  HENRY

  Worry not, Swashbuckler. In a minute I’ll root

  Him out of this seat. I will soon be in pursuit.

  (He manages to wound one of the guards, the second runs away)

  This is far from an ideal place to makes arrests,

  The castle has many rooms and many more guests.

  (Exit Henry)

  MARIA CAROLINA

  Armand, please. You cannot possibly pursue him.

  Be reasonable.

  SWASHBUCKLER

  I cannot be a victim,

  Not just yet. Tell Colin the traitor has just left.

  MARIA CAROLINA

  We’re not yet together, I’m already bereft!

  (She helps him to get up. Exeunt Swashbuckler, Maria Carolina)

  Scene 3

  (Charles Bridge. Enter Moineau, Tew, who is drunk, Avery)

  MOINEAU

  I own no magic formula, only me head.

  Indeed there was a curse, for the two thieves be dead.

  It is a real setback, it is unfortunate,

  But I will not yield, give up or succumb to fate.

&nb
sp; The restoration of our dream community –

  Rebuilding utopia – ‘tis my destiny.

  My plans will be postponed until further notice.

  There must be something…El Dorado? Atlantis?

  I have to ponder quickly an alternative,

  That would make our failure ever so relative.

  AVERY

  He really had too much of that rum. He’s rambling…

  On and on…female dogs be naught but…gardening…

  tools…and cereals? Don’t look at me, I don’t know!

  I don’t envy where he’s gone, looks full of…sorrow.

  TEW

  …And the second nutter shouts to the first nutter :

  ‘Pray hang on to that brush, I remove the ladder.’

  MOINEAU

  (To Avery)

  Let him be. He’ll feel better when we be on a ship.

  Maudlin be most easily cured…by oarsmanship.

  (Enter John. He passes by the three pirates who are idle, on the bridge. He opens the letters and sees they are the wrong ones)

  JOHN

  Fie! The villain! The filthy scoundrel! I will kick –

  In my eagerness and rush I fell for his trick.

  I recovered the wrong one, I look like a fool!

  I am going back there repay in kind that mule.

  (He throws them to the ground in anger. Exit John. Moineau approaches the spot where Dee’s papers were discarded, he picks them up)

  MOINEAU

  Shiver me timbers! Be this…Fata Morgana?

  Am I holding the answer to Libertalia?

  Me eyes do not deceive me – it’d be regretful –

  Those are John Dee’s papers! Good tidings, delightful!

  Dear scallywags…

  AVERY

  We be back to being bad eggs?

  MOINEAU

  Nay, we be not. A society which has no dregs,

  ‘Tis what we are going to imagine and build.

  We’ll have trades, each one entitled to its own guild.

  We’ll have women, some of them be promiscuous,

  Other will be wives and bear children.

  TEW

  Congruous…

  MOINEAU

  We will heed or acknowledge no authority

  Other than ours. Our motto? “Freedom, Liberty…”

  TEW & AVERY

  “Everything in between!”

  MOINEAU

  If they try to stop us,

  We will conjure John Dee, summon hocus-pocus,

  Threaten their empires plagued with their feet of clay.

  We will mint many coins they won’t fail to assay ;

  They will be genuine, which will destabilize

  Their monetary system.

  AVERY

  It would compromise –

  MOINEAU

  We will buy their soldiers, their corsairs, their traders.

  They will find us to be the mighty gatekeepers.

  Any of their attempts made to retaliate

  Will fail miserably. They will capitulate.

  TEW

  It’s beautiful…

  AVERY

  Damn right, it is!

  TEW

  It is foolproof.

  AVERY

  For the good of the community, its behoof,

  We’ll bring this plan to fruition.

  MOINEAU

  Within our reach,

  That’s what’s important, gents!

  TEW

  Quick, let us find a beach!

  (Exeunt Moineau, Tew, Avery)

  Scene 4

  (Back in the castle. John, walking decidedly, hoping to stumble upon his opponents)

  JOHN

  This chevau-léger will pay for his trickery.

  He cannot defeat us with such impunity.

  (Enter Patrick)

  PATRICK

  The truth has been revealed, you are a damn traitor!

  You must die!

  (They fight)

  JOHN

  He was called John the Revelator

  For a reason. I have one myself you would not

  Grasp, Patrick.

  PATRICK

  You deserve no prison where to rot.

  JOHN

  You should know I have rich and powerful allies,

  We could find an accord.

  PATRICK

  I will not trust your lies.

  (They throw themselves at each other and are both wounded. Enter Swashbuckler. John turns to him)

  You think yourself clever, handing me the wrong draft?

  SWASHBUCKLER

  (Swashbuckler is surprised to see him and puzzled by the fact that he didn’t give away the treaty as he thought. He plays along)

  I thought you wouldn’t notice – because you are daft!

  Patrick, lad, I’ll cover you. Go get help.

  PATRICK

  I will.

  (Exit Patrick)

  SWASHBUCKLER

  Now, where were we? Ah, yes. Trampling a huge dunghill!

  JOHN

  That was my last mistake.

  SWASHBUCKLER

  On account of your death,

  It surely is.

  (They fight)

  JOHN

  Swashbuckler, do not hold your breath.

  SWASHBUCKLER

  You won’t go very far whirling like a dervish.

  JOHN

  You’re getting cocky.

  SWASHBUCKLER

  Just eager to finish.

  I was wondering, how ever were you planning

  On unveiling the draft? Would they be listening?

  You are, after all, John, merely a colonial.

  JOHN

  My credibility is far from adverbial,

  ‘Tis true. But my friends’ is not : they are connected.

  I have mighty allies ; interests are vested

  In our little mission. It is not about me,

  It is about power, it is about money.

  We are politicians, officials or premiers,

  We are directors, diplomats or financiers.

  You won’t stop all of us, it is impossible.

  We are too committed, indefatigable.

  (Enter Joseph II)

  Ah, he is arrived, my liege, teacher and mentor.

  JOSEPH II

  I thought you were to take care of him.

  SWASHBUCKLER

  You, traitor!

  (He links together several moves and stabs John)

  Here is for you, knave!

  JOHN

  Help me, Lord, I am dying.

  (John falls to the floor and dies. Joseph II meanwhile sneaks close to Swashbuckler and stabs him in the wound he already had. The latter drops his sword)

  JOSEPH II

  And here is for you!

  SWASHBUCKLER

  No honor among princeling.

  JOSEPH