Chapter 7
The next couple of weeks seemed to fly by. They had decided a month was long enough to wait. Nick had recuperated enough and would be able to walk Stacey down the aisle. Dave was going to be Stefan’s best man since Nick was already doing his part for her in the ceremony. Stacey asked Jasmine to be her maid of honor, which she was thrilled by. They were able to use the small chapel at her church. Stacey found the perfect dress. All seemed to be coming together very nicely.
Except that Stacey was exhausted. She was busy, sure, but it shouldn’t account for this amount of fatigue.
Nick commented on it, “Stacey you looked absolutely wiped out.”
“Gee thanks Nick.” Stacey said, not appreciating his blunt observation. She bent over to pick up the towel that had fallen on his bathroom floor and the room turned topsy turvey. Stacey had to sit down before she fell down. She took her own pulse and felt it racing.
Nick looked at Stacey, “Are you pregnant? Is that what this whirlwind wedding is all about?”
Stacey hadn’t confided in Nick that they were going to wait until their wedding night to consummate their relationship, so his assumption that she was pregnant irked the heck out of her. “No I am not pregnant.”
Stacey was racking her brain to think of what the problem could be. She probably was just over exerted. “It’s probably stress Nick. I am burning the candle at both ends. Between caring for you, Mrs. Horowitz, my patients and planning the wedding, life has become a little hectic.”
Nick wouldn’t let Stacey shrug it off though. “Promise you’ll go get a checkup.”
“Really Nick, it’s not necessary.” Stacey said lamely.
“Well whether you think it’s necessary or not, you’re going to make appointment right now.” Nick handed Stacey her cell phone expecting her to call right then and there. Rather than fight him she conceded and called her doctor.
He had a two o’clock cancellation so she ran to make the appointment.
“Hi Stacey. Good to see you again. So what brings you to my office today?” asked Dr. Landis.
“I have been really fatigued, so my friend insisted I get checked out. It’s silly, I’m sure it’s just stress. I’m getting married in a couple of weeks, so I’ve been going non-stop. Maybe I could use a vitamin B shot.” Stacey offered, trying to come up with a diagnosis on her own. Nurses can be terrible patients, so she tried to be as easy going as possible.
He began the examination. With the stethoscope to her back he said, “Breathe in and out.” Stacey complied.
“Are you having any shortness of breath?” Dr. Landis asked.
Stacey thought back, she had experienced some shortness of breath, but she had been running around so much that she thought who wouldn’t be out of breath? “I guess a little bit every once in a while.”
He opened up the gown on her gown further and asked, “How did you hurt your back?”
“What are you talking about?” Stacey asked concerned.
“You have a bruise on your back and one here on your hip. You don’t remember how you did it?” Stacey shook my head no. Dr. Landis began writing in her chart. Earlier before the doctor had come into the exam room his nurse had taken her weight, blood pressure and temperature. He now looked over her notations and asked, “Are you dieting? You’ve lost quite a bit of weight since your last check up.”
“No Stefan loves me just the way that I am, he likes my curves.” Stacey looked down at her body never noticing that she was lighter. Her clothes had been a little looser she guessed. She was beginning to get scared.
“And you’re running a bit of fever. Hmm… I’m going to order some blood work done for you.” Dr. Landis was flipping through her chart reading.
“What do you think Dr. Landis?” Stacey asked afraid of what he might say.
“Well I don’t think anything right now. I want to see what your blood work says. In the meantime, just take some Tylenol to bring your fever down and I would suggest lightening your work load for a couple of days to see if you get your stamina back.”
That was easier said than done, but she nodded her head yes.
“I will let you know when your blood work comes back. Talk to you soon.” With that Dr. Landis left the exam room.
Stacey sat there wringing her hands. She didn’t want there to be anything wrong. The wedding was so close. The nurse came in thinking she had already left. It woke Stacey from her reverie. She got dressed and left the doctor’s office.
Stacey pulled out her phone once she was in her car. “Stefan?”
“Hey honey. What’s up?” Stefan asked sounding distracted.
“Nothing. I was just calling to say hi.” Stacey stated not wanting to worry him for nothing. It was good to just hear his voice.
“What’s the matter? You don’t sound like yourself.”
“Nothing. Nothing. Just checking in. You sound busy. I’ll let you go.” Stacey said feeling silly for wanting to talk to him.
“I’m never too busy for you Stacey.” His voice warmed her all over.
“What time are we seeing each other tonight?” She asked hoping that her voice sounded steady.
“I’ve got a meeting until 6, but if I need to reschedule it, let me know and I’ll move the meeting.” Stefan still wasn’t buying that everything was OK.
“OK, well come by when you’re done. I’ll cook something for us. Bye Stefan. I’ll see you later. Love you.” Stacey said quickly trying to get him off the phone before he could probe deeper.
“Love you too babe.” Stefan said and hung up.
She wanted to call Nick and express her fears to him, but Stefan would not appreciate that. He definitely had cut her a lot of slack regarding her friendship with Nick, but she tried to be sensitive to how he would perceive anything that she did on that front.
Just when she decided not to call Nick, her phone rang and it was him. “Stacey. How did your doctor appointment go?”
Stacey took a deep breath to try to convince Nick she wasn’t worried. “It went fine Nick.”
“Then why don’t you sound like it?” He asked concern immediately coloring his voice.
For a split second, Stacey considered trying to fake her way through an I’m OK speech, but didn’t have the energy to do it. “I’m a little scared.”
“Why? What did the doctor say?” Nick asked.
“It wasn’t so much of what he said; it was what he didn’t say.” Stacey said.
“Well that’s a bit vague.” Nick countered.
“It just feels like there is something wrong and the doctor didn’t discuss what he thought was wrong. He just ordered blood work. I feel this knot of fear in my belly now. I know it’s irrational, but I’m scared.” To put voice to her groundless fears made her feel better, a little. Nick was such a good sounding board for Stacey.
“When will the blood work be back?” Nick asked concerned.
“Depends on how busy the lab is.” Stacey responded.
“Well don’t paint the worst case scenario in your head Stacey May. Whatever is found in your blood work we’ll deal with it when we find out the facts. It could be nothing, right? You really have been doing too much. You probably just need a vitamin B shot.” Nick finished.
Stacey laughed. “I suggested the very same thing to Dr. Landis. It could just be a viral infection. It could be a lot of things. The thing that worries me is that he found bruises on my back. “
“Bruises? How did you get bruises? And on your back?” Nick asked.
“Yeah and on my hip. I never noticed. They aren’t within my line of sight when I get dressed. I’m not sure what that means. I have some guesses, but I’m going to do what you’re saying. I am not going to obsess about anything until I know something concrete. Thanks for talking this through with me. “
“You’re welcome.” Nick wasn’t laughing and joking which was even more concerning. But Stacey decided not to push it.
“Hey I haven’
t talked to Stefan about this, so don’t mention it to him. OK?”
“Why haven’t you?” Nick asked sounding suspicious.
“I was going to, but then he sounded distracted by work when I called him, so I didn’t want to say anything especially since there isn’t anything to say.” Stacey really felt exhausted. She started her car and backed out of the parking spot. “I’ll talk to you later Nick, I want to go home and take a nap before Stefan comes over tonight.”
“Alright Stacey. Call me if you find out anything or you want to talk.” Stacey could tell Nick was now worried for her. There was no comfort in that.
Stacey let herself into her place. She undressed and twisted around to try to get a look at the bruises the doctor had seen. They really did look terrible. She even had circles under her eyes. They almost looked like bruises. She lay down on her bed trying not to think of all the things that could possibly be wrong with her.
But the one that kept jumping up and down in her head was that the leukemia was back. She tried to remember what it felt like when she was younger. But she was coming up blank.
Mrs. Horowitz would remember. Stacey wanted to call and talk to her, but didn’t want to worry her unnecessarily until she knew something for sure.
What if she really were sick again? How could she put Stefan through that? He deserved someone who was healthy and whole. Stacey couldn’t imagine having him there while she went through treatments. It was a nightmare she had never imagined.
How could he look at her as someone sexy and desirable when she would be in such horrible condition? She did remember how awful it was getting the chemotherapy. Oh Stefan. Stacey lay across her bed and cried herself to sleep.
Several hours later Stacey awakened to Stefan knocking on her door. Before she could get up to answer she heard him using his key. It was dark in her place. She must have been out for longer than she thought. She got up and the room titled.
Stefan caught her before she fell to the floor. “Stacey! Are you alright?”
“Yeah, just got up too fast. Sorry about that.” Stacey answered weakly.
“Don’t apologize. What’s the matter? Are you sick? You don’t look too good sweetie.” Stefan was studying her intently.
Stacey considered putting him off, but the longer she waited the harder it would be to say anything at all. She had already talked to Nick so it would be wrong not to tell Stefan. “I went to the doctor today. Been feeling a little fatigued.”
“Well no wonder. I know you’re Wonder Woman, but even she needed some down time on Paradise Island.” Stefan smiled at Stacey.
She returned the smile weakly. “Well the doctor is running tests to find out if everything is OK. Hopefully my labs will come back sooner rather than later. I would like to know what kind of bug I’ve picked up.”
It felt best to downplay the worst case scenario she had in her head, because if it turned out to be nothing, then she would have scared him for nothing.
“I’m sorry I fell asleep longer than I planned. I didn’t get to cook us dinner.” Stacey said.
“No worries. I can whip us up something. You keep a fully stocked pantry, so it won’t be a problem. Put your feet up and relax. Let me wait on you.”
How on earth had she captured the attention of this wonderful man? Stacey couldn’t believe how lucky she was. Everything in her was screaming to be honest with him about how scared she was. So deciding to listen to her inner voice, she called him back.
“Stefan. I don’t want to frighten you. But I’m really scared about what these tests might reveal. I am really worried that my Leukemia is back.” Stacey lowered her head and felt the tears drip from her eyes.
He pulled her into his embrace and she felt safe and secure. Truly everything would be OK with this man by her side to help her fight. She felt his strength flowing into her and was so glad that she told him her fears. If they truly were to be man and wife she would have to learn to trust him with every part of herself; every part of her heart and soul. She could feel the heat between them. She could feel the physical pull.
Stacey lifted her head to look in his eyes. He wiped her tears. He kissed her forehead and each eyelid. Stacey could feel the shift when it turned from comfort to sexual vibrancy. She yearned to fulfill the desire that he had awakened in her.
He slanted his mouth over hers and their kiss was tender and sweet. He slowly worked his magic on her through his kiss. She forgot everything, but the deliciousness of his mouth on hers. He slid his tongue in between her lips and tasted her, slowly enjoying the silkiness of the kiss.
Stacey felt as though she were on a cloud. She clung to him desperately. She could feel the strength in his arms as he held her close. She sighed and they sank deeper into bliss. He stretched his frame on top of hers. His weight felt good on top of Stacey. He stroked her hair and she could feel her nipples harden in response to his masculinity pressed firmly against her.
They fit perfectly together. Where he was hard, she was soft and welcoming. This felt so right. Stacey never wanted this sensation to end. She knew there was more, but he was pulling away. His absence was keenly felt and left her dazed and confused.
Stefan said, “You are too tempting. We need to stop this now before we go too far.” Her mind was screaming that it wasn’t far enough. But she couldn’t form words to put a sentence together to tell him so, and his rejection stung. He didn’t want me? But clearly he was into this just as much as she was, so why on earth did he stop?
Stacey felt her eyes sting with tears and Stefan saw. “What’s this?” He pulled her closer and asked why she was crying. His comfort made her feel even worse now. “You don’t want me.” Stacey answered starkly.
“My darling let me assure you that couldn’t be further from the truth. I am sorry. I just meant to offer you comfort and my raging hormones took over. I really want your first time be special, not in reaction to the fear you feel now. I really did just mean to offer you comfort.” He looked at her to make sure she understood what he was saying.
Stacey shook her head, “But I want you.”
Stefan groaned. “Do you have any idea how difficult it is to resist you? Look at you. Your lips are swollen from our kiss; you are unbuttoned with breasts heaving and hair in sexy disarray. You’re making it hard to keep you an honest woman. Pun intended.” He laughed trying to diffuse the situation.
Stacey didn’t even know how her blouse had got unbuttoned, but she did not care. She wanted to be naked, not just unbuttoned. But her stubborn fiancé wanted to keep her innocent until the wedding. Frustration rolled off her in waves and he sensed it.
“I just want our first time together to be perfect. I thought you understood? I want you to be my wife when we make love. I think you’re that special.” He held her, waiting for the storm to pass. How could Stacey argue with him when he was making a case for her virginity? She had no words to convince him otherwise. If she had been more experienced she could seduce him. But that was the whole problem. Stacey had no experience with men.
“How can you want to be with me when I don’t even know how to seduce you out of this stupid chivalrous mindset?” Stacey pouted.
He laughed again. “Two weeks isn’t long to wait.”
Stacey feared that if she were sick that two weeks might be all they had together. She didn’t know if she had the strength to fight this illness again. But looking at him, she knew he would be her anchor. The reason she would fight to stay on this earth.