Chapter 18
Days upon end had been plagued by dreary rain, and dark skies flurried with thin, streaming clouds passing overhead. Streams turned to warm sprinkles as the sun began to peek through, and bright blossoms slowly opened to reveal vibrant hues of spring. The streets of Atlanta were dimpled with muddy tracks. Wade tiptoed through the ditches left by carriages, taking care not to soil his shoes as he made his way to the church where he would take his vows.
As he entered the building, heart fluttered within his chest. The sanctuary was filled with white magnolias and lilies. He followed the long violet carpet laid along the aisle to the front of the church. Standing in the empty room filled with the aroma of honeysuckle vines weaved in trellises on either side of him, he closed his eyes, imagining his bride and the room full of guests. Louise had been planning this day since December, and he anticipated a beautiful ceremony, executed without blunder. The sanctuary was lovely, and the rehearsal ran smoothly, but most importantly, soon it would be over, and their life would begin.
Too quickly, his peace was interrupted by the sounds of excited guests entering the building, and he walked quickly to the foyer to welcome them. Rhett and Scarlett entered with Cat. As soon as Cat saw Wade, she ran to him with her arms extended, and greeted him warmly, happy to see him again, chattering noisily. Wade greeted each of them, thanking them for attendance, and accepting their congratulations. Members of Louise’s family entered and broad smiles exchanged. Finally, Uncle Will and Aunt Suellen arrived, followed by her girls and Wade’s sister Ella. He hugged each one tightly, for he had not seen them in ages, and he was exuberant to finally see familiar faces. He walked to Ella quickly and embraced her.
“Wade, this may not be the time…” Ella tried to pull away from him, but he held her even more tightly.
“I’m not upset, Ella. I am glad you wrote the letter and told me. I could have wasted so much time waiting for someone who did not want me. You saved me, and pushed me to find my own way, and I have. I have found a woman who truly loves me, and I love her.” Wade bent down and kissed her gently on the cheek then released her quickly to answer a call, completely unaware of her look of confusion.
“What letter?” Ella called after him, but he never heard her, for the ceremony was about to begin.
The long soft tones of the violins began to hum, followed by the sweet whistle of the flutes. Wade gazed towards the door with anticipation. There she was. Floating towards him on her father’s arm, an angel dressed in robes of flowing white satin, delicately embroidered with tiny beads. Her veiled face showed no emotion, but he could see her hands tremble as she held her bouquet of lilies sprinkled with violets. Her father placed her hand in Wade’s and pulled back her veil to reveal her lovely face, eyes glistening with tears.
They stood hand in hand, and vowed to love, honor, and cherish each other until death, before God, a minister, and witnesses. Then the moment came when he leaned down to kiss her for the first time, lightly sharing his sentiment, feeling the quivering in her lips and the warm drops on his cheeks as her tears began to flow. She smiled lovingly, ensuring him that it was tears of joy which she cried. They turned slowly to face the crowd as the minister pronounced them as husband and wife.
Wade scanned the crowd quickly. Hundreds of people had packed inside the church, most of whom were unfamiliar to him, and he clung to her hand as they walked back down the aisle toward the foyer. For just a moment, they stood in the foyer alone, gripping their entwined fingers, unsure of what to do.
Louise gazed up at him and whispered softly, “I love you.”
“I love you, too,” Wade responded then bent down and kissed her tenderly, running his finger lightly along the line of her jaw and down her neck.
Suddenly, they were interrupted as lines of guests poured out of the sanctuary, talking and laughing. They stood there, stunned as they shook hands and returned embraces. Each person wishing them well, congratulating them, and looking longingly on the newly wed couple with their lives laid before them, ready to begin a new chapter. Wade’s face twisted in horror when the next face in line was surrounded by bundles of auburn curls, and bright green eyes stared up at him.
“Do not worry. Wade, something horrible could always happen to her, and then you will still be mine.” Her eyes twinkled with evil, and Wade felt ripples of ice flow down his arms. He kissed the air beside her cheek, and as if she had said nothing, continued along the line. Before long, she had been moved out the door, and though he was relieved that she was out of sight, her evil words rang through his mind, and fear gripped his heart.
Eventually, the crowd began to thin, and Wade and Louise left for the train station. Mr. Johnson had arranged for them to honeymoon in Charleston, and their bags were waiting for them at the train station. Finally, they were alone. The excitement of the moment weighed on them, and as they settled into the train, he watched Louise as she sank back into the seat, leaning her head back, and breathed. He had never seen her relax so casually, releasing herself to touch the back of a chair, yet he knew she was exhausted. He took her fingers in his, and kissed each one in turn then placed her hand back in her lap, undisturbed, and though she smiled at him, he could see the tiredness in her eyes. He patted her arm then tilted his head as though he was going to rest, waiting for her rhythmic breathing to begin then spent the rest of the long trip to Charleston watching her sleep.
They arrived in Charleston much later than he had imagined, and though Louise had visited this city, he had never been in this large city that had been such a stronghold during the civil war, but had since become a major trading port in the country. They walked along the seaside toward their motel. The salty breeze cooled them as they walked hand in hand silently. Wade replayed the past few months over in his mind, reminiscing his moments with Louise, wondering how he got to this place. It happened so fast, and as they walked to their honeymoon destination, nervousness replaced his joy.
Wade carried Louise into the room where they would spend their wedding night then he opened the curtains covering the windows, overlooking the water. The sound of the waves splashing against the shore soothed their anxiety as they stood in the middle of the room, staring at each other. Louise poured cups of tea from the silver tray then took her seat beside the window. Wade sat across from her, gazing at points of light across the water, longing to be one of them.
Louise held her cup in her hands, sipping slowly. Nervously, she lowered her cup from her lips to ask, “What do you suppose we should do now?”
Wade answered, “I have to say that I’m not quite sure.” He ducked his head, hiding his reddened face.
“Tell me, then, what do you think those lights are on the ocean?” she smiled shyly.
“I believe they are boats on their way in to dock. It has probably been quite a long day for them, and they are in need of rest and recuperation. They are probably unsure of their way in a new city, and they need some guidance from the lighthouse.”
“I imagine you are right. They do need rest and guidance. They might could make their way, but rather than risk trouble tonight, maybe they should wait a day or two, until they are comfortable, possibly.” Louise lifted her eyes, hoping that he understood her meaning exactly.
He did understand and agreed with her completely. “Your thoughts seem logical to me.” He reached for her hand to comfort her then decided to change the subject and put them both at ease. “So have you reconsidered your position on motivation? You last mentioned that you believed that all motives are impure, and I argued that although motives may have impure notions attached, many can be considered completely unselfish.” Wade sipped his tea, winking at her as a signal that it was his turn to bait her into another lively debate, and she responded appropriately. Throughout that night, they danced together with language, discussing their favorite topics which led to debate, but never argument.
In the morning, Wade’s eyes fluttered open to find that they had fallen asleep in their chairs and the sun
was beginning to rise over the ocean, reflecting brilliant colors in waves. Louise slept soundly across from him, curled in her chair, and as the sunlight reflected from her hair, he realized that he had never seen her look so beautiful. He remained still, staring at her, contemplating the change in their relationship, now that they were husband and wife. He knew they would have to eventually consummate the marriage, but he did not want to think of that now. He only wanted to enjoy her company and watch her sleep.
The next three days were exciting as they ate breakfast served in their room, walked through the city, and spent the evening talking until early the next morning. They walked through the market, enraptured by the bargaining and the baffling variety of wares being showcased. Vendors from across the city opened their tents to offer varieties of meats and vegetables, most of which Wade had never seen. He was enthralled by the numerous sea creatures, and could not imagine eating them. They drank coffee in the sunshine outside of a small café, and visited shops throughout the city. In the evenings, they ate in restaurants serving extravagant dishes and delicious desserts then they retired to their room, continuing their discussion from the night before.
Upon Rhett’s request, they decided to visit Rhett’s mother’s home before departing the lovely city. As they climbed the tall steps to the front door, Wade could feel his knees quiver, for although he had known Rhett his entire life, he had only met Rhett’s mother on one occasion, Bonnie’s death. The thought of reliving that moment in time terrified him, and he wanted nothing to dampen the spirit of his new bride.
Hesitantly, he grabbed the brass knocker and tapped the door, subconsciously hoping no one would answer. Immediately, the door opened, and he found himself embraced tightly by Mrs. Eleanor Butler, and directly behind her stood Scarlett, Rhett, and Cat. As soon as he was released, Mrs. Butler grabbed Louise and hugged her as Wade was being held by Scarlett and Cat wrapped her arms around his legs. Rhett held out his hand, and Wade immediately let go of his fear, enjoying such a gracious welcome.
Mrs. Butler led them into the sitting room, grinning with excitement. “Louise, darling, I am so happy to meet you. I have heard so much about you from Rhett and Scarlett.” She chirped happily, reaching her hand to Rhett, who was standing behind her. He reached down and kissed her cheek then poured them each a cup of tea from the silver set, intricately engraved with beautiful designs. “And Wade, it has been such a long time since I have seen you. You have grown into a fine young man.” She gazed at him lovingly, remembering their last meeting. He had been so young and wan, miserable in his childhood and thrown into such a wretched situation.
“Thank you, Mrs. Butler,” Wade replied.
“Rhett how did you raise such a stunning young man?” Mrs. Butler cooed.
Rhett faltered for a moment then replied, “I have to admit, I don’t know that I had much influence. He has hid father’s bravery and his mother’s strength. His father was a Civil War hero, mother, and he obviously inherited his character. He has turned out to be a fine boy. Scarlett and I are both proud. Aren’t we darling?” Rhett turned to Scarlett for agreement, but found her attention completely focused on Cat. “Right, Scarlett?” he repeated.
Scarlett looked up from Cat, baffled, “Yes, Rhett darling. We are certainly proud.” She turned her focus to Louise, “And we are certainly proud that he found such a lovely wife.”
Louise smiled, “Thank you.”
Mrs. Butler jumped back into the conversation, “I hope you plan on having children soon. I know that I am not your biological grandmother, but I do hope that you will consider allowing me to play the role of great-grandmother.” She raised her brows hopefully.
Scarlett responded for them, “They do not plan on having children for quite some time. Wade must finish college first. He only has one more year. Am I correct, Wade?”
“Actually, mother, I have another two years to finish, and Louise and I have not discussed when we will have children. I am afraid that is a rather personal decision.” He directed his comment to his mother, warning her to keep her opinions to herself.
She did not heed his warning, though, “Of course, you must wait. Louise, you will need to keep an eye on Wade. He tends to speak curtly at times, but I am sure you know how to control him, and if not, you will within time. Besides, you will make a wise decision about children. It will be you, after all, that will care for the children. Wade has never been around children, and not having a father will certainly hamper his ability to care for little ones.”
Louise stared at Scarlett, unaware of her expression which showed a combination of dismay and alarm at such comments made by Wade’s mother.
The uncomfortable silence was quickly interrupted by Rhett, “That’s quite enough Scarlett. Wade is a grown man, and he can make his own decisions, and he can also hold his tongue when appropriate, which is more than I can say for his mother.” He glared at Scarlett, daring her to continue. He would not stand for her to ruin Wade’s happiness, and he would step in to shelter Wade from Scarlett’s hurtful words at any moment. He turned to see Louise’s shocked face, and quickly changed the subject. “Louise, have you ever been sailing?”
Louise faced Rhett, changing her expression from horror to relief, “No, I have never been.”
“Good. We are planning a sailing trip tomorrow, and we would love for the two of you to join us.” Rhett smiled, encouraging Louise to agree, but she simply nodded, waiting for Wade to respond. She looked toward Wade, sitting beside her seething with rage.
Wade sat there, feeling blindsided. He glared at his mother, looking for any changes in her, but seeing none. He had hoped that time and her newest quest in motherhood might have changed her, but just as her skin remained unblemished by lines, and her hair remained black with no signs of grey, her attitude remained unchanged as well. She still felt the need to belittle him, manipulate him, and control his every move. He rose from his seat, unwilling to continue the conversation. He had no intention of going sailing with that woman.
“No thank you, Rhett.” Wade held his hand to Mrs. Butler, “Thank you for your kind hospitality.” He tipped his head to her, bending low in a graceful bow then rose to exit the room. “Mother,” he quipped sharply, as he reached for the door.
Louise slipped from her seat quietly following him, “Thank you Mrs. Butler. I hope to see you again, soon. Your home is lovely. Good-bye Rhett, Scarlett, and Cat. I hope our next meeting is longer.” She scurried behind Wade, not to be left alone with Scarlett and her sharp tongue.
Rhett loped behind them to the front door, leaving the ladies sitting in awkward silence. As Wade and Louise opened the door, beams of sunlight streamed into the dark hallway. Rhett caught them and pleaded, “Wade, do not leave in this manner.”
Wade turned to Rhett, eyes blazing with rage, unable to speak.
“Wade, come with us tomorrow. I promise Scarlett will be on her best behavior.”
Wade spat through his clenched teeth, “Do you expect me to bring my bride on a boat with that woman with no means of escape? I have expected Mother to change for much too long, and I have been disappointed every time. Never again, never again will I step foot on the same floor as that woman.” Wade turned briskly, laid his hand on Louise’s back, guiding her to the street.
Walking down the street toward the motel, Louise considered the events that had just taken place. She was disturbed at Wade’s startling reaction, for she had never seen him angry. She could not understand his delay at speaking to his mother in his own defense or his deliberate refusal to speak to her as he left. Then his angry words as they left mystified her, for she had never experienced discord in her own family.
Finally, she spoke, “Wade, you have not said much about your mother. Why do you hate her?”
Wade continued silently, stunned at her accusation of hatred. Mammy had warned him of hatred, but he had never classified his feelings as hatred. He was certainly angry with her, for each time he showed the slightest hint of opening himself
to her, presenting himself as vulnerable, she swept in like a vulture, ready to devour him. She penetrated the depths of his soul with her spiteful words and manipulation.
He responded slowly, “I do not hate her.” He continued walking, reaching toward Louise’s hand, but she pulled it away, stopping him in his tracks.
“We can never have complete understanding if we do not talk.” She stood still in the middle of the road, refusing to move until he spoke.
“Let us walk, darling. Please do not allow the actions of my mother to cause disharmony,” Wade pleaded with her. She relented and he continued, “I do not hate her. From the moment of my first memory, she has been a cause of distress. She has never made time to understand or love me, and she has done everything in her power to cause me pain. She has manipulated me, bribed me, lied to me, and ignored me for years. She has tried numerous times to ruin my life and any chance of recovery. I have spent years cleaning up her mess, rebuilding my life without her, and helping others left in her destructive path.” Wade turned to look at Louise, holding her hand firmly, gently stroking her cheek. “I know that you do not need my protection, but I will not allow her to hurt you, and I have found that the only way I can shelter you from her and from my reaction to her is complete avoidance.”
Louise nodded in understanding, “I am sorry. I never knew that you had such a rough childhood.” She lowered her head, hiding her tears.
“I have often tried to make amends with her, but each time I try, she destroys any hope.” Wade paused, “Louise, I have everything I could ever need in you. We do not need her interference in our lives or in the lives of our future children. I want peace, and if that means life without my mother, I am willing to make that sacrifice. Are you?”
Louise nodded again, holding her fist to her mouth, afraid of her own anger with a mother who could cause her son so much pain that he would be willing to deny his children the knowledge of their grandmother. “I am, darling. Let’s have dinner.” Wade smiled at his bride, grateful for such an understanding woman by his side.
They settled themselves in the corner of the restaurant. Dinner was served with light conversation, as they stole daring glances at each other across the table. The food was excellent, but Wade was beginning to miss Suellen’s cooking and the familiar surroundings of Tara and Athens, but he did not dare mention these things for fear of disappointing Louise. She loved this city, and he wanted to prolong her excitement for as long as possible. Deep down, he was unsure of his ability to make her happy in their routine life, for when he searched his heart; he knew that he did not really know her.
After dinner, they sauntered up the stairs to their room and hesitantly entered. Each night they had slept in their chairs by the window, but tonight felt different. Louise entered first, and with her face covered, she murmured, “I think it is time.”
Wade slowly crept in behind her and wrapped his arms around her, nestling his face in her hair, fearful of seeing her face. She turned to look up at him, her love showing clearly in her eyes, innocent fear of his rejection and his touch showed plainly, but determination won. He kissed her gently, unsure of his movements.
She left him for a moment, and when she returned, her face was stoic, as if she were bracing herself for the worst. He asked, “Are you sure? There is really no hurry, for we have a lifetime.” He desperately hoped she would change her mind, but she smiled numbly and nodded.
She crossed to him and took his face in her hands and expressed, “I love you. I want to experience the world with you.” She closed her eyes as he leaned towards her, feeling his breath on her neck, chills ran down her spine and excitement spread through her body. Slowly, she gave herself up to passion as she felt his hands explore her body. She had never felt another person’s touch, and she trembled, pressing herself to him. His hands fumbled with her nightgown, following his instincts, hoping he would not fail her.
Together, they crossed into another world, an unknown world where only they existed. Unaware of time or circumstance, they found each other, connecting and becoming as one. They held each other without shame, exhausted and emotionally spent.
As their eyes began to close, Louise whispered softly, “I want to go home.”
Wade sighed with relief and promised they would leave the next morning.
The next morning, Wade and Louise slipped out of town without saying goodbye to any of Wade’s family. Louise sent a telegram to her father, warning him of their early return then they boarded the train for Athens. It seemed as if they were the only passengers on the train as they whispered softly the words of ardent lovers. Wade held Louise’s fingers gently, caressing them tenderly and holding her eyes with his own. Remembering their last encounter, his face reddened, and he could feel warmth creep on his neck. With one look at his wife, he became enraptured in her beauty, and all embarrassment fled. He felt united with her as he had never connected with another human. Joy as he had never known lit on him, and he gave himself over to contentment.
As soon as they exited the train, Wade recognized a new atmosphere in the city of Athens. Although the streets and shops remained the same, a feeling of renewal blew through the hot, dry air. The sun seemed to shine a little brighter, and the citizens welcomed them home with enthusiasm. Mr. Johnson greeted them at the station with his buggy and drove them through the town. Wade was slightly confused, for they were heading directly away from his apartment and from the Johnson home.
“Wade, Louise, I have a surprise for you,” Mr. Johnson grinned cheerfully.
Louise clapped with excitement. “Tell us, Papa!”
“Just wait and see.” Mr. Johnson avoided slyly. They rode along in silence, but Wade was hardly patient. His heart beat quickly as he wondered about the surprise. Finally, they pulled up in front of an erected frame of a house, and Mr. Johnson announced, “Here it is!”
Wade stared at the structure, confused.
“This is going to be your home.” Mr. Johnson gazed at Wade and Louise as they hopped out of the carriage and ran to where the front door would soon stand. They hugged each other then ran back to Mr. Johnson. As Louise embraced her father, Wade thanked him emphatically. He had no idea that they would be returning to find their home being built, and a new sense of freedom overcame him.
It was an appropriately small home for a new couple. Mr. Johnson described the plans in detail as they walked through the standing beams. On the first floor, there would be an elegant entrance with doors leading to a sitting room, a dining room leading to the kitchen, and a library which Mr. Johnson assured them would be fully stocked with plenty of reading material. The second floor would hold the guest rooms, the master bedroom, and the nursery. Though the sun shone through the open beams overhead, they could imagine their completed home, and began making plans for their first dinner guests and their evenings alone. Louise had been anticipating her first home for years, and Wade basked in her lovely glow as she looked over the structure, for in her mind, she could imagine every corner. It would be exquisitely charming.
They turned back, walking towards the carriage, and Louise tucked her hands into the arms of her favorite men walking on either side of her. The smile on her face showed her excitement, and Wade could feel her hands trembling. “When will it be complete Papa?” Louise asked as they walked slowly back to the carriage.
“It should be done in a couple of months. We were not expected the two of you to return from your honeymoon so quickly,” Mr. Johnson stated almost questioningly. He didn’t dare ask, though, for fear of intrusion, and the young couple did not care to share their reasoning. “How do you intend to spend the rest of your summer? Wade, you did not enroll in summer classes did you?”
Wade answered, “No sir, I have taken a hiatus for the summer.”
“We have temporarily filled your position at the bank, so you will need to fill your summer months,” Mr. Johnson addressed Wade. “Do you have any plans?”
Wade raised his eyebrows, unsure of any future plan
s, for he and Louise had not discussed their plans.
Upon seeing his reaction, Mr. Johnson decided to change the subject. “I hope you don’t mind, Wade, I have taken the liberty of having your things from your apartment to the guest bedroom in our home. Although you will not be in the same room, you will at least be in the same house.” Mr. Johnson lifted Louise into the carriage then tended to the horse as Wade climbed into the buggy beside her. They rose in silence until they reached the Johnson home.
Mrs. Johnson greeted them warmly when they arrived. She welcomed them home, exclaiming their healthy glow, and she showed Wade his room. Then they retreated to the dining room for supper, where Louise talked animatedly about their trip, omitting the details of their visit with Scarlett. She secretly wished to forget his mother’s existence for she wanted nothing to spoil her memories of their honeymoon.
That evening, once the rest of the family had retired, Wade and Louise sat in the library, silently contemplating their sleeping arrangements and their plans for the summer. Wade could not envision spending even one night away from her, but he understood her father’s discomfort with them sharing a room. He decided to speak of his uneasiness, “Louise, I cannot fathom spending one night without you by my side.”
Louise nodded, biting her lip. “It would be horrific to spend the summer without you, but my father…”
“Let’s visit Tara for the summer. I would love to show you my home, and I think you will love Tara just as I do,” Wade asked, hoping desperately that she would concede.
She longed to be with him, but nervousness showed on her face as she considered spending more time with his family. “Will your mother be there?”
Wade laughed, “No. she will spend the summer at Rhett’s, and my aunt and uncle are quite different than my mother.” He smiled at her, lovingly, for he understood her fear. If Scarlett was going to be at Tara, he would not have suggested the visit, but he knew that Aunt Suellen would love Louise, and she would take her under her wings, spending time with her, treating her as one of the family.
She sighed with relief, “That sounds wonderful. Shall we leave tomorrow? Is that too early? Will you need to write them, asking permission?”
“We shall leave first thing tomorrow,” Wade held out his hands to her. She rose to touch his hand then quickly sat back down, remembering that they were not alone in the house. They talked late into the night as Wade described every detail of Tara and his family. By the time they climbed the stairs to their rooms, Louise felt that she knew them intimately, and she could not wait to fall in love with the place that Wade loved so dearly. They each lay awake that night, staring at the ceiling, wishing they were in each other’s arms rather than separated by several walls, experiencing the distance that makes the heart grow fonder.