“Men think they like women to be subservient to them, but if you were, he’d be bored in a week,” Ada said.
“He wants to dominate me so badly, he can taste it. I think he’ll only play if he can be in control Just when he thinks he’s controlling me, I knock him off balance.”
“Women make the fatal mistake of loving a controlling man. The minute they fall in love, they are discarded like a bit of rubbish,” Ada told her “Those are exactly the rules I shall play by,” Tina said, laughing.
Damaris too sat upon the end of the bed, mesmerized by the conversation. She was so relieved that Tina had no intention of becoming a lamb to the slaughter. She seemed so wise to the ways of men, and what knowledge she lacked, Ada made up for.
“I’ve already discovered a secret. When I try to drive him away, he cannot resist me—but when I try to seduce him, it drives him away!”
“Once you are sexually intimate, that could easily change. Men, even aggressive ones, love it when the woman initiates sex occasionally. Probably the one single thing men hate most in bed is a woman who is unresponsive. Every man I’ve ever slept with has complained bitterly that his wife is like a corpse in bed. A lot of women are so passive, they might as well be asleep. A man always knows when a woman endures it and can’t wait for it to be over.”
Silently Tina wondered just exactly what “it” would be like. From what she had observed and overheard, it seemed men could not get enough. Sex was the one lode-stone that drew every single one of them between the age of fourteen and death. Women, on the other hand, all seemed to be different Some loved it and some hated it, and her own common sense told her there must be an infinite range of emotions between. By all indications, this deflowering was an earth-shattering, cataclysmic act that she both anticipated and dreaded
“Ada, when he kissed me tonight, I had a decidedly physical response that I had no control over. My mind hated him, yet my body reacted with pleasure.”
“Ah, that’s the essence of the thing exactly His physical response to you is something he cannot control, either. It’s a power each of you has. If you are clever, you will be able to gain control over him in all sorts of subtle ways. You must make the power of love greater than his love of power”
* * *
The hour was late when Ram rode back to Douglas, so he was surprised to see a light in her chamber. He’d watched it while he’d ridden the last two miles. It winked at him, teased him, beckoned him, lured him. It drew his eyes from the bailey, and it drew his eyes again when he came out of the stables. Should he go and demand his rights? The ache in his groin was almost unbearable. As he looked up at her window, the light went out. He bit his lip. She was so bloody vain, she thought herself irresistible. Well, he’d show her she wasn’t irresistible to him!
He made his way to the kitchens, which were deserted at this time of night, and was amazed to find everything spotless. He went into the pantry, then the larder, searching until he found some of the delicious soup Mr. Burque had concocted. The kitchen fires were banked low for the night so he decided to use the fire in his own chamber. He tucked a long French loaf under his arm, picked up the soup kettle, and stealthily made his way upstairs.
Chapter 19
“Nell, I do apologize for telling you to unpack when now you have to ready everything for Castle Douglas.”
“Och, my lady, dinna worry aboot me. It’s poor Mr. Burque I feel sorry fer,” her maid said with feeling.
Good heavens, was Nell yet another of his conquests? “I’ll wear the turquoise green gown today, and tomorrow I’ll ride to Douglas in the pale gray riding outfit trimmed with black braid. Pack everything else.”
Ada held the exquisitely embroidered white nightgown, as yet unused. “I’ll leave this on your pillow for one more night, just in case.”
Tina laid down her brush and put in the last hairpin. “I haven’t seen half of this castle yet. But as soon as I’ve had something to eat, I shall rectify that.”
At breakfast she learned that the Douglas had been up since dawn readying the wild horses for their journey to the border stronghold. Though not broken enough to be ridden, each horse had to become accustomed to a bridle.
The steward showed her the room he had assigned to Nell in the servants’ wing, then smirked, “An’ this is the chamber yer fairy godmother chose.”
Tina knew he meant Mr. Burque. She didn’t dignify his remark with an answer. The Douglas steward would eat his words if Mr. Burque stole his woman. “Thank you, that will be all,” she said as she picked up her rustling skirts to ascend a stone staircase.
“Where are ye goin’?” he asked shortly.
She turned, the corners of her mouth lifted, and she said, “Wherever I wish.”
“I’m sorry, my lady. I didna intend tae be rude. Mad Malcolm lives up there, and I would no’ trust him.”
Her smile widened into a laugh. “I wouldn’t be foolish enough to trust any Douglas.” She had heard oblique references to Mad Malcolm and had decided to see him for herself.
The old man in the high four-poster indeed looked demented, with his silver hair standing on end and a face as fierce as a hawk. He had been scribbling in a book and immediately pushed it beneath his pillows as if to guard it with his life. They stared at each other a full minute before she said, “You must be Malcolm.”
“Ye mean Mad Malcolm, dinna ye?”
She smiled. “If you insist.” She saw the jug of whisky beside him, smelled the fumes that emanated from the old laird, and wondered if he was mad or just constantly intoxicated.
“So yer the lass Ram hand-fasted”
“I’m Lady Valentina Kennedy,” she replied. He nodded. “The Kennedy lass…. Have a care,” he warned.
She suspected he was mixing her up with Damaris.
“Yer tae be poisoned,” he warned, “but it’s no’ yer husband Alex who’ll do the deed—‘tis the other young swine.”
She knew he meant Ram. “How do you know?” Tina asked, to humor him.
“I’m writin’ a history o’ the House o’ Douglas. It’s all there!”
Colin arrived on the scene carrying a breakfast tray. He looked alarmed to find Valentina alone with the demented laird “I was just leaving,” she explained. “Good-bye, Malcolm. I’ll see you when I return from Castle Douglas.”
Colin followed her out “Tina, he’s capable of violence.”
“I’ll have a care,” she reassured him. “Perhaps if he didn’t consume so much whisky, he’d be easier to handle.”
“Poor old sod has few pleasures left in life,” said a softhearted Colin
“You’re right, of course. It’s very kind of you to bring his meals rather than have a servant do it.”
Colin shrugged “He gets few visitors, and after we leave tomorrow, the servants are the only ones he’ll see until we return”
“Oh, I’m so glad you are coming Colin Perhaps I can persuade you to paint me, if you have time and inclination.”
He blushed, and Tina told herself sternly not to toy with this man’s affections It would be most unkind. She visited the kitchens to apologize to Mr Burque and tell him he must spend the day repacking his kitchen equipment, utensils, and supplies for the journey to Castle Douglas.
“Alors! How am I to prepare the very special dishes for you and his lordship if I am to repack my cooking equipment? Sacre bleu!”
“You mustn’t even think about cooking today. Save your special dinner for when we’re in residence in the border. The Douglas cooks managed to feed this castle long before you arrived.”
Valentina made sure she was not late for the evening meal She was amused to see that Cameron and his cousin had decided to sit with Ada and Nell—there didn’t actually seem to be a servants’ table. The Douglases mingled freely with the men-at-arms and servants, and everyone sat wherever he or she wished There was little formality in this castle of men, and even Lord Douglas came to the board in his leathers
Ram’s eyes stroked
over her like tongues of flame. Her turquoise green gown was as elegant as if she were dining with the king and queen, and he wondered if she was putting on fine airs to point up the contrast of his rough garb. She gave him one of her warmest smiles and felt disappointment when it was not returned His face was set in harsh lines, his eyes unreadable As he took the seat beside her, she saw his dark face was shadowed by the day’s growth of beard. Her eyes also flickered over his cheekbone, where the skin had been broken open so many times from fighting and from her riding crop. It was a nasty gash that was going to leave a scar
He threw her a challenging look, reminding her of an archangel whose dark beauty had been ruined. He carved the joint of mutton that was set before him and served her with a portion as large as his own. He took some turnips and parsnips and offered her the dish, then broke open a flour cake and spread it with butter He took a mouthful of meat and chewed methodically Then he grimaced and said, “I thought yer chef was supposed tae be a genius.”
“Oh, he is, my lord,” Tina said blithely.
He washed his meat down with ale and said belligerently, “Whoever cooked this needs a few lessons in the culinary arts.”
She opened her mouth to agree, then closed it because she knew he did not want her to agree with him—he wanted an argument. So to oblige him she replied, “It’s not too bad. The parsnips are tasty.”
“Not bad? The damned stuff is hardly edible. He should be shot at dawn for ruining good food!” He was ready to sink his teeth into a good argument, if not the meat, so Tina took a perverse pleasure in thwarting him. “I’m sorry to disappoint you, Douglas, but your own chefs cooked this meal. Mr. Burque has spent the day loading his cooking equipment, utensils, and supplies for the journey to Castle Douglas.”
Ram’s eyes narrowed, and he chewed his lip for a minute. “Who the hell gave him permission tae come with us?”
“Don’t cut off your nose to spite your face, Douglas. You said yourself this stuff was inedible. Once you’ve tasted Mr. Burque’s cuisine, you’ll think you’ve died and gone to Heaven after this muck.”
She thought she was so damned clever, he wanted to slap her. When she moved, her gown rustled invitingly, and its blue-green color did glorious things to her flaming hair. She knew how beautiful she was, how alluring to a man. Well, madam, I won’t slaver after ye like a bloody hound, he assured himself. She bestowed a radiant look upon Colin, farther down the hall, and it wrenched Ram’s gut that the look was not meant for him.
The next time she looked at Ramsay, she caught the raw hungry look on his face and lowered her lashes to her cheeks in shy invitation. He radiated sexual hunger, and she knew if he touched her, it would feel as if she had been struck by lightning.
Ram, however, did not touch her He did not dare. She turned his blood to wine. He had tried to build a wall against her, but suddenly he felt the edge crumbling. He stood up and moved away from her. He would maintain an air of indifference at any cost.
Ada watched silently She knew Ramsay Douglas wouldn’t be able to resist Valentina much longer He had rights, and he would exercise those rights When he looked at Tina, he was like a predator giving his prey a very wide circle, but Ada knew the signs of a raptor, knew he had marked her as his and would soon close in for the kill
Ada wondered if Tina realized what a potent lure she was. Ada’s eyes traveled down the room again to Ramsay, and she sighed He was a magnificent male, like a beautiful, wily panther What must he be like in bed?
For all his indifference Douglas prowled the hall as warily as a wolf who has scented a doe He moved back down the hall toward Tina Though she did not look at him, she was completely aware of him. “We leave at dawn I’d better have a word with yer women so they understand I won’t be kept waiting”
“I give my women their orders,” she stated firmly
“Why?” he demanded
She shrugged a shapely shoulder. “For my own self-esteem.”
“Ye already have far too much of that,” he accused She looked pleased at his remark, and his mouth hardened. He turned on his heel and quit the hall Tina joined Ada “What a relief to be free of his high and mighty at last!”
Ada gave her a speaking look. “If I know aught of men, you are not free of him. He is not finished with you yet”
Valentina shuddered involuntarily. She went up to the chamber she imagined she shared with Damaris, and as soon as she opened the door, she glimpsed the cat before it jumped down from the bed and disappeared. She must remember to ask who fed it and who let it in and out of her room “Come, puss. Come to me,” she coaxed, but she knew the nature of felines and accepted that it would come to her only when it was good and ready.
Nell had done a wonderful job of repacking her ten trunks, and Tina summoned a Douglas servant to carry them down to the front entrance since his lordship did not wish to be kept waiting in the morning. She saw the cat slip out the door between the servant’s legs and sighed. She would have liked company tonight.
She bathed and readied herself for bed. The only nightgown she could find was the exquisite white silk that Ada had embroidered so painstakingly for her first night with Ram Douglas. She shrugged and slipped it on, enjoying the feel of it against her skin. She opened the wardrobe to hang up her turquoise gown and saw the gray and black riding dress hanging by itself except for a shell-pink night-robe that Nell had left unpacked. She closed the wardrobe door and fell into a reverie, wondering what the border country around Castle Douglas would be like.
Ram paced his chamber feeling caged. Everything was in readiness for the transition to Castle Douglas, and he knew his moss-troopers would welcome the ride and the wild borders as much as he would. He knew his temper had been short these last few days. His men had obeyed his curt orders immediately, not daring to glance at each other with raised eyebrows until after he had departed. He and Cameron had exchanged sharp words, and even Colin was avoiding him.
The lines about Ram’s mouth had become finely drawn, and his eyes were red-rimmed from lack of sleep. He hadn’t had a woman in weeks, and his body screamed its need. He spoke with such ferociousness to the maidservant who brought him fresh body linen that she was terrified, and she was almost incoherent when Cameron later asked her what was amiss. Cameron set his mouth in grim lines and tackled his brother. “Since Gavin isn’t here tae challenge ye, I’ll do it myself. Christ Almighty, ye are so evil-tempered, all who can, avoid ye like the plague. Yer face looks like a death-head. I know what ails ye, if ye don’t!”
“Oh?” Ram said silkily. “And what is that?”
“Ye need tae lie abed wi’ yer new wife ‘til she drains ye o’ yer lust and the evil humors of yer hot blood”
Ramsay’s look was so black, Cameron stepped back in fear; then, so he couldn’t accuse himself of cowardice, Cameron attacked further: “We know ye didn’t want tae be shackled—Christ, the whole bloody world knows that, but did ye stop tae consider she was forced tae it as well?”
“Get out!” Cameron was glad to leave with a whole skin.
Ramsay swore a foul oath. No woman was of that much import to him and never would be, praise God. He threw off his doublet and sat down on his bed to remove his boots. It was true, he admitted, that he would like to master her He licked dry lips It would be good sport to tame her. His sex began to harden, and he flung his boots across the room and knocked a dirk from his wall. The Boozer, in his wisdom, moved to the door, hoping to escape.
Ram decided that what he needed was sleep. Without removing more clothes, he swung his legs up on the bed and stretched out full length with his arms behind his head. His blood pounded. He knew he would never sleep until he had eased himself with a woman. He allowed his imagination to conjure her vision, and what he pictured fueled his temper. He saw himself enter her chamber, saw her look of triumph that he could not resist the temptation of her incomparable beauty. She was quite obviously doing her utmost to tempt him, and tempted he was, sorely tempted, he finally admitted. Christ,
hadn’t that been Adam’s excuse in the Garden of Eden? The woman tempted me! Well, his willpower was easily strong enough to resist her temptation. He thumped his pillow savagely and felt his blood surge higher The more he tried to resist her, the more he wanted her. If he went to her, she would be triumphant If he gave in to her temptation, it would feed her vanity
She was vain enough. No, he’d never pander to her beauty He stood up, restless as a panther and every bit as dangerous. He’d go to her He’d pull the proud vixen from her pedestal. It was time she learned that her place in the Douglas hierarchy was not as elevated as she imagined. He would take her without love words, praise, or flattery. Up till now, she’d likely had besotted poetry from her lovers and promises of undying love and devotion. He’d not worship at the altar of her beauty. He’d never fuel her vanity. He’d take her in the dark, where she would be exactly like every other female. Then he would leave her. He’d not lie beside her all night, so she could tempt him to make love to her again and again.
He flung open his chamber door, and the Boozer stalked through it with a look of reproach and disappeared down the dim passageway. Ram made his way to Damaris’s old chamber with such resolution, the large, square quarions flickered alarmingly in their iron brackets upon the wall. His knuckles smote the wooden door only once before he threw it wide.
Tina’s look was anything but triumphant as she half-gasped and swallowed her fear. She stood frozen to the spot, clad only in the white silk nightgown with its exquisite diamond-eyed butterflies. The candle she held dripped hot wax upon her hand, and it spurred her to action. She set the candlestick beside the bed and asked faintly, “What are you doing here?”
“That should be obvious,” he said.
Her wide eyes took in the bare chest covered with its sable-black pelt, and she whispered, “You intend to sleep here?”
“Hardly sleep,” he said with a laugh that contained no hint of mirth.