“You have come to claim your privileges,” she whispered, as full realization of his intent dawned upon her.
“Privileges?” he ground out with contempt “I think ye mean my rights and my duty. The king and the chiefs of our clans desire a blood bond between us. That can only be accomplished if I get ye with child.”
Damaris was appalled, but she knew she could not stay and witness this consummation.
Tina flinched visibly at being told she was to be nothing but a brood mare. She could have sworn he had lusted for her, but perhaps lust brought out the most unpleasant characteristics men had.
Ram felt his blood stir with excitement as his shaft filled and his balls tightened. She was such a challenge, the anticipation stirred him deeply in spite of his resolve. Damn her to hellfire, he wanted to lie with her, and he suspected she was well aware of his too-eager response. “Get in the bed,” he ordered, his pewter eyes flaming with what looked like ruthless, pitiless violence.
If she disobeyed him, would he flog her? He might. His temper was hot enough to do anything when roused.
He snuffed the candles before she could read the naked need in his eyes. Tina groped for the bed in the darkness and slipped beneath the cover. Ram was drawn into the bed by the magnet of her body.
Conflicting emotions washed over her; fear, curiosity, disgust. She was about to experience the unleashed sexuality and violent danger that every man suppressed just below the surface. The beautiful virginity that she had saved for her husband was there to be taken. She was a gift, a divine sacrifice to the gods of passion and love.
Ram lay rigid in the bed, forbidding himself to lust for her. She was just another woman. But nothing is more tempting than the forbidden The white nightgown whispered its invitation. Her subtle scent stole to him, inspiring his imagination to vivid imagery. Her skin was like ivory velvet, her hair a cascading glory. He knew an overwhelming desire to dominate her.
She gasped as she felt him reach out two strong hands to take her. The Douglases owned half of Scotland. Tonight she would become just another possession.
Ram now regretted snuffing the candle. It denied him the visual pleasure of her beauty. He wanted to see her eyes widen with admiration as she gazed at his powerfully muscled torso and the size of his erect sex. He wanted to see them darken with desire as he washed away her resistance to him. He wanted to watch her lashes become heavy with sensuality as he made love to her. He knew a craving to watch her mouth soften before she yielded it up to him, to watch it curve with delight as he pleasured her. He longed to watch her remove the exquisite nightrail for him so he could watch the tips of her creamy globes rouch and harden as he aroused her. He ached to see the bright color of her flaming triangle between her legs. He’d imagined it a thousand times, and now he cursed himself for a fool for taking her in the dark.
As he pulled her hard against him so she felt all of him, the powerful legs, the muscular arms, and the wide chest, she went rigid for a moment. Ram felt her stiffen and took it as a sign of rejection. He was offended. No female had ever rejected him in his life. Till now, all his bed partners had been willing—nay, more than willing, they had been eager for his lovemaking. He closed his mind to the men who may have gone before him. He would show her he excelled and surpassed any other lover she had known.
He brought his mouth down upon hers in a demanding kiss. He fully expected the usual eager female response. He waited for her to open her lips, her mouth, and take him inside where they would duel, then his tongue would master her. He waited in vain.
Tina was rigid with fear. She could not think coherently, wrapped in the powerful arms of Douglas. What was it she was supposed to do? Yield to him—aye, that was it! She must become all soft and womanly. The last time he had kissed her, she had allowed her mouth to soften beneath his and had felt the tip of his insistent tongue tasting her, but now his tongue wanted to rape her mouth. She did not return his kiss, so taking it as an insult, he left off the kissing.
His beard was harsh and abrasive against her sensitive skin, and yet it was so masculine, she went weak. He was annoyed that she made no move to take off her nightgown for him, so with impatient hands he pulled it up to give him access to her woman’s center. Her skin against the swollen head of his shaft felt like velvet. He buried his face in her flaming hair, and its fragrance dizzied him and stole away his senses. Touching her intoxicated him. He knew he must act quickly before love words tumbled from his lips. He pulled her beneath him, tearing the delicate silk as he positioned her with rough hands.
Tina braced herself to endure the pain that she knew was inevitable. Ada had told her she must get past this first time. She gasped as he mounted her, then bit down upon her lips to prevent further protests. She must yield without protests.
The intensity of his need for this woman tumbled him into the abyss. She excited him so much, he was going to spill himself if he did not soon achieve penetration. Then she would laugh at his lack of finesse. He gripped her with iron-hard thighs, then plunged into her with savage need. She cried out, and he knew it was clumsily done—he was nowhere near seated to the hilt.
“Tina, open for me,” he urged
“I cannot,” she gasped.
“Will not, you mean!” he cried raggedly, then thrust home. He closed his eyes with deepest pleasure. She was so exquisitely small and tight and hot, he had never before known such a fierce response. He knew a need to arouse a matching response in her, so he plunged until his white-hot seed flooded up inside her.
He had spent so quickly, he was ashamed of his body’s response to her. Not once had she touched him, caressed him, arched her body to fit his. Her arms had not stolen about his neck to cling to him, nor had her mouth kissed or tasted him, yet she had brought him to fulfillment. No sigh, or murmur, or cry of pleasure had passed her lips. She had deliberately held herself aloof from him. He withdrew and took his hands from her, leaving her sprawled and mute with shock. He flung from the bed, more angry now than before he’d taken her. “We leave at dawn—be ready!” he commanded.
The chamber door banged shut behind him, the crash of wood releasing her tears. In the next room Ada heard her weeping. She knew Ramsay had visited Valentina. He had stayed an impossibly short time, then left in a rage. She sighed. Would Tina never learn to curb her sharp tongue?
Ada opened the adjoining door cautiously, saw the room was in darkness and hastened to light the candles. The scene before her made her gasp. “Good God, I never dreamed he’d had time to consummate your vows. Are you badly hurt, child?”
The spirit of Damaris drew close to Tina, longing to take away her hurt.
Tina glanced down at the bloodied, torn nightrail and hastily covered herself with the sheet before she struggled to sit up. A feeling of betrayal curled inside her that included Ada. She had told her she must learn to love the sex act but that was an impossibility. Ada had told her there would be desire, then pleasure, then fulfillment, but she had clearly lied.
“I warned you that you must get beyond this first time. That there would be pain and blood, but I had no idea he would be so brutal, love.”
Tina recalled her warning and transferred the animosity she felt toward Ada to the man she hated. She recalled, too, the rest of what Ada had said. “If you intend to gain the upper hand, you can only win by guile.”
“You were right, Tina. He believed you were experienced in these matters. What was his reaction when he saw he had deflowered you?”
Tina gulped back her tears. “He saw nothing. The candles were snuffed.”
“My love, if you want my advice …”
“I don’t, Ada. I want you to go back to bed,” she said firmly. “I shall see you tomorrow. Remember, we leave at dawn.”
Ada knew she had been dismissed. Like a wounded animal, Tina wished to nurse her hurt alone. But Tina knew exactly what she must do, exactly what she would say. No force on earth would stop her from taking her revenge. Revenge would be her raison d’etre, her reason to exist!
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She threw back the sheet and took the bedgown from her empty wardrobe with shaking hands. She forced herself to breathe deeply and slowly to calm herself. She wanted to fly at him and scratch out his eyes—or better still, to take her knife and disembowel him. She schooled herself to patience. His physical strength would overpower her in seconds if she attacked him. She intended to be the victor in this battle of the sexes and so must mask her intent from her enemy and glove her weapons with velvet. She knew her victory would not be immediate, but it would be total and complete.
She tapped softly upon his chamber door and opened it quietly. She saw the look of surprise upon his dark face before he masked it. She came as a supplicant. Before he could question her, she spoke softly but firmly. “My Lord Douglas, I understand that I am free to withdraw from this union. I wish to do so. Tomorrow I shall return to Doon.”
“Ye’ll do no such thing. A hand-fasting is a trial marriage. We’ll try it for at least six months,” he stated flatly.
“My Lord Douglas,” she said softly, “I cannot endure it for six days.”
He stared at her in disbelief. The delicate hue of her pink robe was like a blush. She could have no notion of her breathstopping beauty at this moment, with her eyelashes spiked with tears.
“Neither of us can withdraw yet. ‘Tis ridiculous!” he growled.
Her legs had no strength. She sank onto the edge of his bed and lifted her eyes to his so she might impart something confidential. “My lord, I was told that when a man makes love to a woman, it is heavenly. With us, it is hellish. You spoke true when you said we were two totally incompatible personalities,” she whispered.
“Ye liked it not?” he asked, stung.
Her golden eyes widened. “It was the disappointment of a lifetime,” she said solemnly.
She was criticizing his expertise as a lover! He, who was called Hotspur and whoremaster because of his finesse in fucking!
Tina left him with his mouth open. By the time she reached her chamber he was only two steps behind her. She backed away from him toward the bed, where the bloodied sheets screamed their accusation.
Damaris said, “Thank God you had the presence of mind to make him return to the scene of his crime!”
His black eyes swept from the sheets to Tina’s face, wondering what trick she played. A feeling of horror began to wash over him, and his hands tore open the pale pink bedgown to reveal his suspicions.
Her white silk nightgown lay in shreds about her mons. Her thighs were smeared with blood.
“Why didn’t ye tell me ye were a maiden?” he thundered.
“You were so sure I was unchaste, you would have it no other way.”
Splendor of God, he had honestly thought her sexually experienced. She was a virgin! His brain tried to adjust to this revelation about Valentina Kennedy. His conscience smote him deeply. He had ravished her! What he had done in the dark to this lovely creature was akin to rape. No wonder she wished to flee from him. There were not many young women in this day and age who came to their marriage beds with their hymens intact. Valentina was a rare exception. She had too much pride, too much self-respect to be a trollop. He cursed himself for a vile lecher. He wanted above all to undo what he had done, but he knew that was impossible. He would try to heal her hurt. The first thing he must do was beg her forgiveness.
His eyes softened as he saw the anguish on her lovely face. “Tina, I humbly apologize for hurting ye.”
One small shoulder lifted in a half-shrug. “It wasn’t the first time you hurt me,” she said softly.
He remembered finding her lying in the rain and throwing her over his saddle like a sack of grain. He recalled vividly the blazing anger he’d felt the night he’d ridden to Doon, when he’d rolled her in the grass and longed to rub dirt in her face. At every meeting since, he’d done his utmost to humiliate her, and he had finally offered the ultimate humiliation to a nobly born lady—a hand-fasting instead of marriage! If he proposed now she would fling it in his face—and who could blame her? “I’m shamed of my insensitive behavior. I’m quite capable of showing tenderness toward a lass.”
She actually had him on the defensive, a position he was totally unused to, she thought with satisfaction. “Tenderness?” she echoed wistfully, compelling him to elaborate.
“Let me hold ye, let me take away the hurt,” he said gently, still struggling with his conscience.
Her head lifted pridefully. “That is completely unnecessary, my lord. I will survive in spite of you.”
He was filled with admiration for her courage.
His mood was lifting. He was more than pleased that she had known no other men. Christ, he’d even suspected she might be carrying his enemy’s child, which had been the reason for his inexcusable behavior toward her after the ceremony. He had a foul and filthy mind, and his temper was no better. “We will begin anew.”
She drew the delicate bedrobe about her and shook her head sadly. “Everything is ruined between us. Our personalities clash, and even our bodies are unsuited,” she said with a blush.
Her words, though said gently enough, challenged his very manhood. “That is untrue! Give me another chance, and I swear to use ye gently, my lady. Even kissing has its own foreplay.”
Her cheeks were rosy although not by intent. When he saw her almost imperceptible hesitation, he pressed his advantage. “In good faith, neither of us can dissolve the union at this early stage. We would both be accused of not even trying.”
They heard a loud scuffle outside the door, and Ram threw it open to see who dared disturb them. Tina watched the Boozer tear into the room after the cat. “Oh, he’ll kill it!” she cried.
“What?” he asked blankly.
“The cat—oh, where did it go?”
Ram looked into her eyes to observe her reaction to his words. “He cannot kill the cat. It is a ghost.”
She gave him a startled look, then something seemed to dawn upon her. He knew she did not reject his explanation out of hand and think him a madman. “The cat belongs to Damaris. … Its name is Folly.”
The lady they spoke of stood in the corner with Folly in her arms. She was delighted that their minds were open enough to accept the possibility of her existence, yet she felt totally frustrated that she could not communicate with Valentina and protect her against Ram Douglas.
The Boozer, now realizing where he was, slunk to the door and whined pitifully to be let out.
“Please go,” Tina asked. “I must bathe.”
“I’ll send a maid with hot water immediately,” he said gently, knowing he had received no answer from her but hoping against hope that she would not go running back to Doon.
Damaris went looking for Alexander. She found him in Ram’s chamber. “Alex, he raped her!”
“The son of a whore!” Alex swore angrily. “If I were alive, I’d beat him senseless!” He crashed his fist into his cousin’s skull. “Bloody Black Ram!”
“Oh Alex, it’s happening all over again. One of them will kill the other.”
“Damn it, woman—once and for all time: I didn’t kill ye!”
“Don’t start with me. Oh, how I wish they weren’t off to Castle Douglas! If she were here, where I could watch over her, I just might be able to keep her safe. I think she is aware that I’m here.”
“We may be able to go to Castle Douglas with them. I think it’s possible to move to another place. All ye have tae do is bond with a living entity, and they will take ye with them. Ye try tae bond wi’ Valentina, and I’ll bond wi’ Ramsay, just for the journey.”
“You really believe I’d ever trust you again? And I would never leave Folly,” Damaris said to cover her nervousness at moving from the castle where she’d spent fifteen years.
“Take yer cat wi’ ye.”
“No—I’d be afraid she might get lost. She’ll be safer here, I think, and so will I.”
“Sweetheart …”
“Don’t sweetheart me. You’re a bloody Douglas, and no
thing can ever change that.” She faded from the chamber instantly.
Chapter 20
Tina lay in her pretty bathtub a long time. The warm water soothed her battered body but not her thoughts. Ram Douglas was a force to be reckoned with, not unlike a violent thunderstorm. She would need to be extremely clever and resourceful to keep abreast of him, let alone one step ahead of him. No wonder the name Douglas inspired fear; she had more reason than the rest of the population to know why.
She finally climbed into bed, but sleep was as far away as the man in the moon. If she lay perfectly still, she didn’t hurt, but she was so restless she tossed and turned the night away. Black Ram Douglas was so … what? Not coarse exactly, like Angus. So male, so masculine, it made her shudder involuntarily.
She tried not to think of his naked body touching her, covering her, entering her, but it was such an unseen mystery to her, she could not free her mind of it. She had seen his naked chest, so wide, so darkly furred, but the rest of him, the male core of him, remained a frightening unknown.
As the lavender dawn spread its fingers up the sky, Tina had not slept at all through the long night. She felt drained, exhausted before the day had even begun. Ada cast her a worried look as she helped her fasten the gray riding dress and handed her her gloves and riding crop.
Nell staggered in with a tray holding enough breakfast for the three of them, but Tina could not face the food. Ada gave her a warmed cup of ale, and Tina flashed a grateful look and sipped it slowly. When she emerged into the bailey and saw her groom holding Indigo, she knew a moment of panic. My god, she was too sore to ride any distance. But Ram Douglas and his hard-bitten mosstroopers were already in the saddle waiting for her.
He felt an overwhelming relief that she intended to accompany him to Castle Douglas, yet his hooded eyes gave no hint of it. He missed nothing. He saw her wince as she mounted, saw her head lift and her back straighten with pride. The gray riding habit made her glorious hair blaze in contrast, but it emphasized the delicate pallor of her skin and the blue marks of fatigue beneath her eyes.