Chapter 20
I roamed around the garden, passing deeper and deeper into the beauty that surrounded me. I followed the flowing waterways that wound through the massive flowers and shrubs.
I tossed around the pros and cons of my dilemma in my head as I walked.
With Liam, he was gorgeous and mysterious and I did feel something for him. I just wasn’t sure what that something was. He wasn’t betrothed and that made him available. And that kiss, well, it was completely swoon worthy, but the earth did not move, no clouds parted, no angels sang. Before Nikolas, I would’ve gone full tilt into pursuing something with Liam and happily so. But...then came Nikolas and now I was existing in the dreaded gray area, no black and white to be found.
With Nikolas, I was blindsided by feelings that appeared as if they’d always been there. He had this elusive quality, a draw to him from something that existed in his core. He was the flame and I was the poor sap of a moth. Nikolas was spell binding, the way he moved, the way others responded to him, his ability to command a situation, his sense of duty, his unmoving loyalty, and…the way he’d comforted me, held me.
Nikolas’ con was that he was taken, betrothed. The word rolled around in my head like it was covered in slime.
Liam’s con was that…well…he was not Nikolas.
This situation sucked on multiple levels.
Rounding a patch of trees, I came upon an occupied bench, buried deep in the garden.
Its occupant was none other than Nikolas.
He didn’t hear my approach as he sat with his back to me, quietly folding and unfolding his hands. I should’ve turned around and slipped off unnoticed.
I didn’t.
It took a few seconds, but he sensed me watching. In one fluid motion, he was on his feet and pivoting to face me.
When our eyes met, I could feel the air charge. My heart ached for him, begged to be closer. It took every ounce of self-control I commanded not to oblige.
I had to speak, the tension had to be broken. “What are you doing way out here?”
He sighed, looking slightly ashamed. “Hiding.”
Further explanation wasn’t necessary, I knew he was hiding from Brigitte. “Don’t you think she can find you out here?”
Nikolas scoffed. “She is not especially fond of…” He paused and spread his arms wide for emphasis. “…nature.”
“But, this is like a dream!” I said sticking my arms out and spinning in a circle like a child.
Something in his eyes changed and he regarded me for a few breaths before he spoke. “A beautiful dream.” He uttered quietly.
I tore my eyes away, pretending to be fascinated by the foxglove planted nearby. “There is going to be a ball, did you know? I’ve never been to a ball.”
“I am sure you will capture the attention of the room.” Nikolas offered in a tone that was almost sad.
“Hardly.” Shaking my head, I turned back to him. “You don’t have to do that. I won’t tell anyone if you’re not constantly showering me with praise.”
A resonant laugh emerged on the breeze. Eyebrows raised, Nikolas ran long fingers through his waves and jerked a thumb toward his chest. “Do you think that is what I do? You think that is one of the duties I’m expected to perform?” He asked as he ambled slowly toward me.
I blinked at him and shrugged. “I don’t know, really. What are your duties?” I cocked my head to the side. “Ah ha. Saving damsels in distress! Is that one of them?”
Nikolas chuckled and inclined his head toward me once. “It is one of the advantages.” A wicked grin curved his mouth and he prowled closer. “Do you feel you are in danger, Milady?”
Absolutely.
“No. Stop that.” I chuckled.
Nikolas crept closer. “There are dangers all around.” He whispered playfully as he drew his sword. He eyed a topiary fashioned into a griffon. “Behind me now, Milady. I shall best this beast!” He cried with mock enthusiasm.
“No! What are you doing?” I said through a giggle and thumped him on the arm.
Nikolas flashed one last grin at me before charging the poor unsuspecting shrub and sliced its head clean from its body.
I sucked in a breath, I hadn’t actually expected him to do it. “You did not just do that!”
Nikolas took a step back, sheathing his sword. He crossed one arm across his torso and tapped his chin with his index finger, studying headless winged body. “Hmmm. You know, I think I’ve improved it.”
When he said that, I lost it. I laughed, like really laughed. The kind of laughing that brings tears to your eyes and I felt free and happy and blissfully worry free for a moment. He joined me, laughing as well, though not as emphatically as I did. He watched me, a strange look in his eyes.
I backed into a low border wall and lost my footing mid-laugh and was well on my way to butt planting in the pale green waters it surrounded.
Sturdy arms caught me just before I hit the water and I heard a splash, but was pretty sure it wasn’t me. Staggering blue eyes stared down at me as a ghost of a smile played on his lips. “It seems you are not yet safe from the beast’s powers.”
A squeal escaped my mouth as Nikolas threw me over his shoulder and trotted away. From this vantage point, I noticed one of his legs was soaked to the knee. “You got wet!”
He laughed. “Do not distress, Milady. I shall live.”
We didn’t go far, only to the bench he’d been seated on earlier. He bent, allowing my feet to touch the ground, and gently guided me back until I was seated. Training his eyes on mine, he lifted a lock of hair and smoothed it away from my face.
I grinned at him and spoke in my very best ‘damsel in distress’ voice. “You saved me!”
He sat next to me, a hint of a smile tugged at one corner of his mouth, but his eyes didn’t hold the same playfulness. “I will always save you.”
What had moments ago been a playful, goofy moment had morphed into something far more dramatic. The very air between us seemed to crackle with sparks and every fiber of my being begged me to inch closer to him.
I tried to give him a smile, but didn’t quite pull it off. “I have no doubt.” That was my honest answer, I knew if I were in actual danger, he would save me…or die trying. That thought sent a shiver through my veins.
The need to touch him was overwhelming and I knew there was coming a time when I absolutely could not touch him, at least not just because I wanted to. And that was the best kind of touch. So, I gave in. I reached out and trailed a finger down the crooked line of his nose. His eyes closed slowly and he exhaled deeply. “What happened to your nose?” I asked.
His eyes popped open and he smirked. “It was broken. A lot. It’s ghastly isn’t it?”
I studied his nose, then looked back into his haunting eyes and shook my head. “I like it.”
Nikolas cocked an eyebrow. “Do you now? Then I shall break it again tomorrow?” Then, he shot me his disarming and devilish grin and my heartbeats tripped over each other.
I leaned away a bit, the close contact fogging my mind, crumpling my inhibitions. “You know, on second thought, I don’t like it that much.”
Nodding once, Nikolas leaned forward, gaining back the distance I’d placed between us. “I just want to make it perfectly clear to you. I meant what I said before…you will capture the attention of the room.” He took my chin between his thumb and index finger. “You are exquisite.”
I slid my chin from his fingers and shook my head as warmth spread over my cheeks. “Not me.” I whispered.
A gasp escaped his lips as he tilted his head to study me. “You do not even know…you have no idea, do you?”
I stood, placing several feet of space between us. “What you’re talking about? No, I don’t.” I blurted, shaking my head and knotting my fists into my dress.
Nikolas was on his feet, watching me as I paced. ?
??Dani.” He said my name like a prayer. “You should be reminded every day, so that you never forget. You should know, you are exquisite.”
His gaze and his words were crippling me, stealing my air and rendering me defenseless. I had to fight, had to stop this before I reached the point of no return. I halted, and stared him down. “What I know, what I know is that you are taken!” My breath came in quick, short bursts as I huffed out the words. “What I know is that if you keep looking at me the way you do, speaking to me the way you speak, I won’t be able to fight this.” Drawing in a deep breath, I drug shaking hands through my hair. My words were little more than a whisper when I spoke again. “I will give in and…and…I don’t, I don’t want to be that girl. I am not that girl.”
“I would never ask you to—“ Nikolas began, reaching a hand out for me.
I cut him off and backed away from his touch though it cost me great pains to do so. “I know you wouldn’t, you wouldn’t have to.”
He stopped and the look on his face was painful to witness. He looked like a tortured man and I wanted to save him. “Dani, please.”
Tears welled in my eyes. “I can’t…I can’t.” I managed the words with some effort and turned from him and walked away while I was still capable.
As I retreated, I heard him call behind me. “It doesn’t matter if you go,” That made me stop, that stung like hell. I turned to look at him as he spoke softly. “you will haunt me still.”
That stung worse. A sob shook my body as the tears brimmed over, trailing down my cheeks. I turned from him again, and I ran while I still could.