CHAPTER FIFTY-THREE
ACQUIRES EMPLOYMENT IN CONSEQUENCE OF A LUCKY MISCARRIAGE.
These ill offices, however, far from answering her purpose, had a quitecontrary effect. For, in consequence of her invectives, he was, in a fewdays, called to the wife of a merchant, who piously hoped, that hispractice would not give Miss Biddy the lie. The patient had longlingered under a complication of distempers, and being in no immediatedanger of her life, Doctor Fathom was in no hurry to strike a decisivestroke; till the husband growing impatient of delay, and so explicit inhis hints, that it was impossible to misapprehend his meaning, ouradventurer resolved to do something effectual for his satisfaction, andprescribed a medicine of such rough operation, as he thought must eitheroblige his employer, or produce a change in the lady's constitution, thatwould make a noise in the world, and bring a new accession to his fame.
Proceeding upon these maxims, he could not be disappointed. The remedyplayed its part with such violence, as reduced the patient to extremity,and the merchant had actually bespoke an undertaker; when, after a seriesof swoonings and convulsions, nature so far prevailed, as to expel, atonce, the prescription and the disease; yet the good-natured husband wasso much affected with the agonies to which he saw the wife of his bosomexposed by this specific, that, although the effect of it was her perfectrecovery, he could never bear the sight of Fathom for the future, noreven hear his name mentioned, without giving signs of horror andindignation. Nay, he did not scruple to affirm, that, had our adventurerbeen endowed with the least tincture of humanity, he would have sufferedthe poor woman to depart in peace, rather than restore her to health, atthe expense of such anxiety and torture.
On the other hand, this extraordinary cure was blazoned abroad by thegood lady and her gossips, with such exaggerations as roused theastonishment of the public, and concurred with the report of his lastmiscarriage to bring him upon the carpet, as the universal subject ofdiscourse. When a physician becomes the town talk, he generallyconcludes his business more than half done, even though his fame shouldwholly turn upon his malpractice; insomuch that some members of thefaculty have been heard to complain, that they never had the good fortuneto be publicly accused of homicide; and it is well known, that a certainfamous empiric, of our day, never flourished to any degree of wealth andreputation till after he had been attacked in print, and fairly convictedof having destroyed a good number of the human species. Success raisedupon such a foundation would, by a disciple of Plato, and some modernmoralists, be ascribed to the innate virtue and generosity of the humanheart, which naturally espouses the cause that needs protection. But I,whose notions of human excellence are not quite so sublime, am apt tobelieve it is owing to that spirit of self-conceit and contradiction,which is, at least, as universal, if not as natural, as the moral senseso warmly contended for by those ideal philosophers.
The most infamous wretch often finds his account in these principles ofmalevolence and self-love. For wheresoever his character falls underdiscussion there is generally some person present, who, either from anaffectation of singularity, or envy to the accusers, undertakes hisdefence, and endeavours to invalidate the articles of his impeachment,until he is heated by altercation, and hurried into more effectualmeasures for his advantage. If such benefits accrue to those who have noreal merit to depend upon, surely our hero could not but reap somethingextraordinary from the debates to which he now gave rise; as, by themiraculous cure he had affected, all his patient's friends, all theenemies of her husband, all those who envied his other adversary, wereinterested in his behalf, exclusive of such admirers as surprise andcuriosity might engage in his cause.
Thus wafted upon the wings of applause, his fame soon diffused itselfinto all the corners of this great capital. The newspapers teemed withhis praise; and in order to keep up the attention of the public, hisemissaries, male and female, separated into different coffee-houses,companies, and clubs, where they did not fail to comment upon thesearticles of intelligence. Such a favourable incident is, of itself,sufficient to float the bark of a man's fortune. He was, in a few days,called to another lady, labouring under the same disorder he had sosuccessfully dispelled, and she thought herself benefited by his advice.His acquaintance naturally extended itself among the visitants and alliesof his patients; he was recommended from family to family; the fees beganto multiply; a variety of footmen appeared every day at his door; hediscontinued his sham circuit, and looking upon the present conjuncture,as that tide in his affairs, which, according to Shakespeare, when takenat the full, leads on to fortune, he resolved that the opportunity shouldnot be lost, and applied himself with such assiduity to his practice,that, in all likelihood, he would have carried the palm from all hiscontemporaries, had he not split upon the same rock which had shipwreckedhis hopes before.
We have formerly descanted upon that venereal appetite which glowed inthe constitution of our adventurer, and with all his philosophy andcaution could hardly keep within bounds. The reader, therefore, will notbe much surprised to learn, that, in the exercise of his profession, hecontracted an intimacy with a clergyman's wife, whom he attended as aphysician, and whose conjugal virtue he subdued by a long and diligentexertion of his delusive arts, while her mind was enervated by sickness,and her husband abroad upon his necessary occasions. This unhappypatient, who was a woman of an agreeable person and lively conversation,fell a sacrifice to her own security and self-conceit; her want of healthhad confined her to a sedentary life, and her imagination being activeand restless, she had spent those hours in reading which other youngwomen devote to company and diversion, but, as her studies were notsuperintended by any person of taste, she had indulged her own fancywithout method or propriety. The Spectator taught her to be a critic andphilosopher; from plays she learned poetry and wit, and derived herknowledge of life from books of history and adventures. Fraught withthese acquisitions, and furnished by nature with uncommon vivacity, shedespised her own sex, and courted the society of men, among whom shethought her talents might be more honourably displayed, fully confidentof her own virtue and sagacity, which enabled her to set all their artsat defiance.
Thus qualified, she, in an evil hour, had recourse to the advice of ouradventurer, for some ailment under which she had long laboured, and foundsuch relief from his skill as very much prepossessed her in his favour.She was no less pleased with his obliging manners than with his physic,and found much entertainment in his conversation, so that theacquaintance proceeded to a degree of intimacy, during which he perceivedher weak side, and being enamoured of her person, flattered her out ofall her caution. The privilege of his character furnished him withopportunities to lay snares for her virtue, and, taking advantage of thatlistlessness, languor, and indolence of the spirits, by which all thevigilance of the soul is relaxed, he, after a long course of attentionand perseverance, found means to make shipwreck of her peace.
Though he mastered her chastity, he could not quiet her conscience, whichincessantly upbraided her with breach of the marriage vow; nor did herundoer escape without a share of the reproaches suggested by herpenitence and remorse. This internal anxiety co-operating with herdisease, and perhaps with the medicines he prescribed, reduced her to thebrink of the grave; when her husband returned from a neighbouringkingdom, in consequence of her earnest request, joined to the informationof her friends, who had written to him an account of the extremity inwhich she was. The good man was afflicted beyond measure when he sawhimself upon the verge of losing a wife whom he had always tenderlyloved; but what were his emotions, when she, taking the first opportunityof his being alone with her, accosted him to this effect:
"I am now hastening towards that dissolution from which no mortal isexempted, and though the prospect of futurity is altogether clouded anduncertain, my conscience will not allow me to plunge into eternitywithout unburdening my mind, and, by an ingenuous confession, making allthe atonement in my power for the ingratitude I have been guilty of, andthe wrongs I have committed against a vir
tuous husband, who never gave mecause of complaint. You stand amazed at this preamble, but alas! howwill you be shocked when I own that I have betrayed you in your absence,that I have trespassed against God and my marriage vow, and fallen fromthe pride and confidence of virtue to the most abject state of vice; yes,I have been unfaithful to your bed, having fallen a victim to theinfernal insinuations of a villain, who took advantage of my weak andunguarded moments. Fathom is the wretch who hath thus injured yourhonour, and ruined my unsuspecting innocence. I have nothing to plead inalleviation of my crime but the most sincere contrition of heart, andthough, at any other juncture, I could not expect your forgiveness, yet,as I now touch the goal of life, I trust in your humanity and benevolencefor that pardon which will lighten the sorrows of my soul, and thoseprayers which I hope will entitle me to favour at the throne of grace."
The poor husband was so much overwhelmed with grief and confusion at thisunexpected address that he could not recollect himself till after a pauseof several minutes, when uttering a hollow groan, "I will not," said he,"aggravate your sufferings, by reproaching you with my wrongs, thoughyour conduct hath been but an ill return for all my tenderness andesteem. I look upon it as a trial of my Christian patience, and bear mymisfortune with resignation; meanwhile, I forgive you from my heart, andfervently pray that your repentance may be acceptable to the Father ofMercy." So saying, he approached her bedside, and embraced her in tokenof his sincerity. Whether this generous condescension diffused such acomposure upon her spirits as tended to the ease and refreshment ofnature, which had been almost exhausted by disease and vexation, certainit is, that from this day she began to struggle with her malady insurprising efforts, and hourly gained ground, until her health was prettywell re-established.
This recovery was so far beyond the husband's expectation, that he beganto make very serious reflections on the event, and even to wish he hadnot been quite so precipitate in pardoning the backslidings of his wife;for, though he could not withhold his compassion from a dying penitent,he did not at all relish the thoughts of cohabiting, as usual, with awife self-convicted of the violation of the matrimonial contract; hetherefore considered his declaration as no more than a provisionalpardon, to take place on condition of her immediate death, and, in alittle time, not only communicated to her his sentiments on this subject,but also separated himself from her company, secured the evidence ofher maid, who had been confidant in her amour with Fathom, andimmediately set on foot a prosecution against our adventurer, whosebehaviour to his wife he did not fail to promulgate, with all itsaggravating circumstances. By these means the doctor's name became sonotorious that every man was afraid of admitting him into his house, andevery woman ashamed of soliciting his advice.