CHAPTER VI
"Well, what's your name, stupid?" snapped Holmes, as acolorless-looking fellow with vacant eyes stood before us.
"Ivan Galetchkoff. I was born in Tikhorietzkaia, Northern Caucasia, Iwork as second cook in the Earl's kitchen, and I can tell you just whostole his cuff-buttons; so I can!"
"Well, this is interesting, if true," commented Holmes. "And whom doyou accuse as the guilty miscreant, Ivan?"
"I accuse that black scoundrel Vermicelli, the Earl's valet. Oh, how Ihate him, with his smooth and slippery ways, and his air ofsuperiority over me, because he helps the Earl on and off with hissilk shirts, and I mix the hash in the kitchen!" replied Ivan.
"Well, that's hardly valid ground for accusing him of therobbery,--don't you think?" said Holmes, smiling.
"No; but I have other reasons, all right. Vermicelli is the guy whoattends to the Earl in his bedroom, and he was the last man to see thediamond cuff-buttons as His Lordship retired Sunday night. Therefore,he certainly stole them. I guess it doesn't take a London detective todope that out. Why didn't you search his room the very first thing?"
And Galetchkoff looked about him with an air of triumph.
"Evidently this subject of the Czar didn't observe his object ofsuspicion going around with something shiny in his hand, as the othersdid. Call in the next boob," said Holmes.
The Russian hash-mixer departed, and a very charming black-eyedsenorita from sunny Spain stood before us.
"What is your name, madam?" said Holmes, with some embarrassment,since, as I have observed before in the course of our mutualadventures, he was a confirmed bachelor, and didn't like women.
"Teresa Olivano, from Seville, sir. I am Her Ladyship the Countess'smaid, sir," she replied, with a bewitching smile at my misogynistfriend.
"Er, ah,--well, what do you know about the stolen cuff-buttons, ifanything? Of course, I don't mean to insinuate that you had a hand init."
She smiled again, and replied:
"I am quite sure that you will find the Earl's stolen jewelry upon theperson or concealed in the room of Adelaide Meerckenloo, the secondchambermaid. I happened to overhear her whispering to NatalieNishovich, the first chambermaid, last night, about some 'diamonds,'and they abruptly stopped talking, and acted greatly embarrassed, whenI came into the room where they were."
"Is that all you know about it?" said Holmes.
"Well, I should think it was enough. That Adelaide is a regular oldcat, and I am positive she stole the diamond cuff-buttons. If youdon't want to take my word for it, then don't!" And the Spanish ladywalked out with a toss of her head.
"Everybody accuses everybody else. This is getting to be a joke," saidHolmes, with a scowl at me, which was quite undeserved, as I hadn'tbeen doing anything.
"Bring in the next victim, the first chambermaid," he snapped.
Eustace Thorneycroft, who had been acting as a sort of bailiff forHolmes's court of inquisition, now brought in a girl with the samesort of lack of intelligence on her face as had distinguished theRussian Galetchkoff.
"What's your name, there?" said Holmes.
"Natalie Nishovich, and I used to work in King Alexander of Servia'sroyal palace in Belgrade before his sudden death nine years ago."
"Well, Natalie, have you seen the diamond cuff-buttons lying aroundloose anywhere?"
"No, sir; but I have an idea that that conceited Spanish girl thatjust walked out of here stole them,--Teresa Olivano, I mean."
"Hum, have you overheard her talking about the diamonds, or is it juston general principles?" asked Holmes, as Tooter frowned severely atthe chambermaid.
"Just on general principles. I don't like her at all."
"All right. Good-by. You've said enough. Call in the next one,"ordered Holmes; adding: "They all seem to belong to the 'I-used-to-be'club. You certainly have combed the world looking for variegatedcharacters, Earl. I suppose the next one will be a Chinaman or aPatagonian."
But it wasn't; only a Belgian girl, with dark eyes that couldn't lookHolmes straight in the face as he questioned her.
"What's your name, previous place of employment, and opinion as to thepresent location of the stolen cuff-buttons?"
"My name is Adelaide Meerckenloo, and I used to be maid to the lateQueen of Belgium. I think the man who stole the Earl's diamonds isPeter Van Damm, Lord Launcelot's valet. He used to work for a diamondfirm in Amsterdam, Holland; so he would know best how to dispose ofthem."
"Which is about as good a reason for your suspicions as the othersgave for theirs. You're excused, Addie. Next," said Holmes.
"Well, you don't need to bite my head off about it," grumbled Addie,as she went out, and her place was taken by a cheerful and rubicundcoachman, the same one who had driven us up from the station the daybefore.
"What's your name, antecedents, and knowledge as to thediamond-theft?" Holmes demanded.
"Vell, Ay bane Olaf Yensen, from Aalesund, Norvay. Ay bane the Earl'sfirst coachman. Und Ay suspect strongly that my partner out at dasstables, Carol Linescu, sviped das Earl's cuff-buttons. Ay saw dasrascal hiding someding in das hay up in the loft last evening, und Aybet you, by Golly, that if you yump on him, you vill find that he isdas tief. So!"
And the fat little coachman looked around with a cherubic smile on hisface.
"All right, Yensie, maybe we will. You're excused. Next."
The man who had just been accused of the robbery was now presented bythe secretary. He formed a marked contrast to his partner,--beingtall, dark and slender, with a hangdog expression on his face.
"What's your name, and what have you got to say about thedisappearance of the diamonds?" pursued the relentless inquisitor.
"Carol Linescu. I used to run a livery stable in Bucharest, Roumania.The guy who stole the diamonds is that fat little loafer Olaf Yensen,the first coachman. I am the second coachman. He must be the guiltyone because last week he tried to swipe my best pair of boots while Iwas asleep."
"Terrible, ain't it? Any other reason? No?--All right, Carol, beat it.Next! Now shoot 'em along quick, Thorney," Holmes said to thesecretary, as the Roumanian went out, and a heavy-set man with blondhair, whose blue eyes blazed fiercely behind his spectacles, entered.
"Your name, please. And what do you know about the diamonds?"
"Heinrich Blumenroth, formerly of His Majesty the King of Bavaria'sroyal gardens at Munich, Germany. I don't know who stole the diamonds,but I can say that any one in the place is likely to have stolen them,except Harrigan, La Violette, and myself. We are the only three thatare worth a darn. Nothing else, is there? I'd like to get back to thegardens. Very busy this morning."
And the first gardener turned on his heel, whereupon Holmes remarkedwith a grin:
"Sorry to have troubled you, Herr Blumenroth. You're all right. You'reexonerated. Next!"
A short and swarthy fellow entered, who looked like a bandit.
"Well, what's _your_ name, anyhow? Where did you drop from, and whatdo you know about this affair?" queried Holmes.
"Demetrius Xanthopoulos. I am the second gardener, and I used to workin the King of Greece's gardens at Corfu. I think that La Violette,the chef, is the man who stole the cuff-buttons. He's entirely toosupercilious, and kicks me out of the kitchen every time I try to getin after a hand-out!"
"All right. If I were Louis I'd do the same. Beat it. Next!"
"Er, ah,----I beg pardon, Holmes, you have now examined all of theservants. Fourteen of them, you know," said Thorneycroft.
"Oh, yes. That's right," said Holmes, as he consulted the list in hishand; "but you people here will have to be examined too,--every one ofyou. No excuses, now," he added, as the Earl started to object. "Youhired me to find those stolen cuff-buttons, and by thunder, I'm goingto find them, no matter who it hits! Thorneycroft, what do you know asto the probable guilty party?"
The perspiration stood out on the secretary's bald head, and hestammered greatly as he replied:
"Well, er,--ah, you know, that is----"
/> "Come, come! Don't keep me waiting all day. Speak up."
"Well, if you must know, I think that the Earl's Italian valet, LuigiVermicelli, is the man. He was the last man near the cuff-buttons whenthe Earl retired Sunday night."
"Yes, that's what Galetchkoff said. I should think that you'd showgreater originality than that, Eustace. Lord Launcelot, I shall haveto question you as to your opinion on the robbery."
"Well, I think that Pete Van Damm took 'em,--my valet, you know.Entirely too fresh, that fellow. Thinks he knows more than I do, bahJove!"
"Wouldn't be at all surprised if he did," muttered Holmes under hisbreath, adding aloud: "Mr. Tooter, you are the Countess's uncle, Ibelieve. What do you know about the affair?"
"Mr. Holmes, I don't like to say it, because he's an awfully goodfellow, but between you and me, I think that Joe Harrigan, the butler,swiped the diamonds," answered the elderly man from India. "He getspretty well soused sometimes, as I have observed, and you know that aman in that condition is likely to do almost anything."
"Under the same principle, then, you may be guilty also, UncleTooter," interposed the Earl, "because you know blamed well that I'vecaught both you and Harrigan down in the wine-cellar many a time sinceyou've been here. I guess that'll be about all from you."
The India merchant subsided, and Holmes turned to Billie Hicks. "Mr.Hicks of Canada, what do you say about it?"
"Unquestionably the guilty man is that Russian scoundrel IvanGaletchkoff," replied Hicks, "he put pepper in the charlotte russe atdinner on Sunday, and I nearly choked on it. A man who would do thatwould steal sheep!"
"Well, Mr. Budd of Australia, we'll hear from you," said Holmes, as hestretched out his arms and yawned.
"Sorry as I am to say it, Mr. Holmes, there stands the guilty wretch!"and Mr. Budd pointed dramatically at the fidgeting and uneasyThorneycroft. "I saw him come out of the Earl's room late Sunday nightat an hour when all good citizens should be in bed."
"You're entirely mistaken, Budd, I assure you," said Thorneycroftnervously. "I am as innocent as you are, and you know it. I just wentinto His Lordship's room Sunday night to get my pocket-comb."
Holmes grinned as he looked at the secretary's more or less bald pate,and said:
"I don't see what you want with a comb, Thorney. But we'll give youralibi due consideration, nevertheless. Well, I guess I've questionedeverybody in the castle now, Your Lordship, including the mutualadmiration society formed by Harrigan, La Violette and Blumenroth."
And Holmes turned an inquiring countenance to the Earl.
"Er, well, not exactly, Holmes. You haven't interrogated the Countessand myself," smiled the Earl.
"By George, that's right! Here, somebody, get the Countess in here."
In a moment the mistress of Normanstow Towers stood before us. Shegave a sniff of disdain as she looked at her brother-in-law, LordLauncelot.
"I beg pardon, Your Ladyship, but what do you know concerning this sadaffair?" asked Holmes politely,--that is to say, politely for him.
The Countess regarded Launcelot with a frown, as she replied:
"I am practically certain that the man who has brought this disgraceupon our ancient family is Lord Launcelot, the Earl's own brother. Hewas entirely in too much of a hurry to get away from here yesterdaymorning to rush into London to tell you about it. He did it just tocover up his own theft."
"These family jars do beat the dickens," said Holmes, scratching hishead in perplexity, while the Countess sailed out of the room, verymuch on her dignity. "Your Lordship, what's your own opinion as to therobbery?"
"Oh, good night! Don't ask me. I give it up. Let's all have a drink,and then adjourn somewhere else. The air is getting kind of close inhere, after all these hot accusations. Harrigan," the Earl added,turning to the butler, who had just returned from the corridor, "pourus out one or two glasses of wine, or three or four of them. Drink up,gentlemen,--you, too, Letstrayed." And the Earl winked at me.