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Chapter 3
Brenda's Story
I was taken from my village when I was twelve. My big sister and I were put in a car that would take us to the town. Mother was worried about the bad things that were happening in other villages. She would stay she told us and would call us back when things were better. That was the last time I saw my mother, a few months later we were both told that she was dead. Father had died when I was six years old, so I only had my big sister left.
Life in the town was good; my sister was earning money so we were both able to eat well. She rented a room for us both, it was small but dry when the rains came. When the sun was hot the room was very hot inside but I could never sleep with the door open. I never felt safe unless it was locked.
I did not know what my sister's job was; only that it was at night and she would come home early in the morning. Most of the day she would be sleeping, while she slept I did the cleaning and washing. I would cook some food for her to eat in the afternoon when she was awake. By seven o'clock in the evening she was heading out for her job. I would spend the evening sitting talking to the other boys and girls that lived near. Once the sun had disappeared and the sky became dark I would go into the room and lock the door. The candle would give me a small light to read my bible, then I would close my eyes and dream about good things, never bad things, my dreams were always good.
One boy who I was always talking to was David; we were the same age, both fourteen. He was lucky, his parents sent him to school. His father worked for the local government. One night he wanted to see my room, I showed him inside and we sat on the mattress talking. I had a strange feeling and when David touched me the feeling became stronger. We had sex, it was my first time, I was a virgin. It hurt me very much; I was also very frightened because we did not use a condom. That night David left and never wanted to talk to me again. I did not know why, what had I done. This boy made me cry a lot.
Time passed and one morning I found that my period had started, I was not pregnant. I was so happy that day; if I had been pregnant it would have been a big problem for my sister. I had prayed so much that I think God listened to me and helped me.
My sister was still doing her job, but she was starting to look very tired. She was also taking more days off work with sickness. Over the coming months her body was getting very thin, the food I was giving to her she would not eat. Finally she was confine to bed; I went to the church for help. A worker came to the room with a nurse; they took a blood sample and left me there on my own with my sister. A few days later the worker from the church came back and told me that my sister needed to go to the hospital. They took her away and I never saw her again until she was dead. Her burial was small, just the people from the church and me.
The landlord wanted some rent; I did not have any money so I was thrown out of the room with our belongings. I had my sister's clothes; I could perhaps grow into them. The mattress I sold with pots and pans, but the people who bought them cheated me; I was young and did not understand.
I was now living on the street, the clothes of my sister I had left with someone who lived by us. The little money I had from the pots and pans did not last long. One evening walking around looking for some food or money, I was called by a group of men drinking outside one of the bars. He offered me money if I would go and sleep with him. I remember sex with David, how it hurt me. I really did not want to do this but I had to survive. This man was really rough, he hit me and the sex was horrible. When we had finished he gave me some money, it was half the amount he had promised. When I complained to him he hit me again. I left the room and went straight out and bought some food which I shared with some of the other children who slept on the street.
One day I met the worker from the church who had come to see my sister when she was ill. He asked me where I was staying. I told him that I had nowhere to go so I was on the street. He told me to come to the church in the afternoon.
It was mid afternoon and I made my way to the church. I was shown to a room, inside was the worker and a priest. They talked and asked me some questions, filling in bits of paper. They offered me a place in the church grounds, but no schooling. I would have to do domestic chores to pay my way. I accepted their offer and was shown to the girls sleeping quarters. I was so happy to have a new home.
Everyday I would clean, wash clothes and help in the kitchen. Sometimes I would go to the market to buy vegetables. One day I asked if I could go and collect my sister's clothes from the person I had left them with. I was told I had two hours, “do not be late back,” the worker told me. I went straight to the house of the person who had the clothes. Knocking on the door I was greeted by a face I did not know. This person gave me the bad news, the lady who I gave the clothes to had gone to the capital to live, she left nothing behind. My sister's clothes were gone; I would never see them again.
Life was going well at the church, my job I enjoyed and I had food every day and somewhere to sleep. The worker was always bothering me, talking to me, touching me. I really did not like this man, he frightened me. One evening he called me to his room. When I got there the door was open, I knocked and he told me to come in. “Sit on the bed,” I sat on the corner of the bed. He came and sat beside me, “how are things here for you Brenda?” he asked me. “I am very happy sir, things are good,” I replied to him. “I have heard the priests talking about you,” he paused for a moment, “they are not happy with you, they are talking about chasing you away.” Tears came to my eyes, “but why sir, I work so hard.” I was know crying a lot, the worker moved closer and put his arm around me. “There, there, don't cry, I can help you.” He started to stroke my shoulder, “I will have a word with them on your behalf," “would you please sir,” “yes.” My tears stopped and I felt a great relief, “but I need something from you Brenda.” What he wanted was for me to have sex with him, I had no other option, I did not want to go back on the streets again. My voice disappeared, he started to undress me, I was like a stone. I was on the bed, this big man getting on top of me and entering me. I closed my eyes and tried to think of the days in my village with my mother.
I woke up still in the room with this horrible man, the things he made me do to him and the things he did to me made me feel ill. He told me to sneak out quietly; he did not want anyone to see me coming out of his room. The whole day I kept thinking about this horrible man, sometimes I would hide and cry myself better. This became a regular part of my life, at least twice a week I would sleep with this man. I also found out that he had a wife in the capital city, two children also.
One day I was called to the main office, a priest was there waiting for me. I was so frightened; maybe they had seen me leaving this man's room. “Brenda, how are you today?” “I am good Father.” He asked me to sit down, “I have some good news.” Oh I am happy, I do not think it is about the worker and I. “We have found you a job in a small shop; they will give you food and a bed and a small salary.” My body was tingling, I felt so happy to be getting away from the other man. "Thank you so much Father, I am really happy.” “So we can tell the people who own the shop you will take the job?” “Yes, yes please Father,” it did not take me time to think about this, I just wanted to get away from the worker.
I was now working in the shop, I loved it. I had my own money for the first time in my life. I could buy small things; I would go to the market and buy second-hand clothes. For the first few weeks after leaving the church the worker kept bothering me. He wanted me to go to a guesthouse with him but I told him no. One day I was in the market and I met Peter. Peter was from my village, we grew up together. I had not seen him since I left the village with my sister, we played together, we were very close. Now he was no longer a boy, he was a big man, very handsome. He asked me if I would like to have some time with him but I told him I was working. “Tomorrow is my day off Peter, I can meet you then,” “ok, lets meet tomorrow.”
I sat outside a small bar drinking a soda with Pet
er. He told me that his parents were also killed by the rebels in the same raid that killed my family. His brothers and sisters were all in the capital, so they are still living there. “What are you doing now Peter?” “I am a soldier; I am stationed here in the town.” Wow he has become a soldier; we would play soldiers when we were children in the village. It was nice to meet Peter; I hope it was not going to be the last time.
Over time I became Peter's girlfriend and then his wife. I gave him two children, he was so proud of them. We had a house in the barracks and lived happily. Sometimes he was posted away for short periods, I missed him so much. It was on one of these posting that he came under fire from the rebels, he was killed instantly. They brought his body back to the town; I buried him in the cemetery here.
Life changed quickly, his salary was gone, I had to move from the barracks. I found two small rooms for my children and me to live in. I worked doing various jobs to pay the rent, feed the children and pay for some education for them. Life was so difficult; money was always in short supply. Sometimes I would sleep with a man to put food in my children’s mouths.
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Chapter 4
Another Drink
The conversation with these two never changes, but then what have they got to talk about in their lives. They work here, they can only talk about that, they can talk about the gossip that is going around. Wait, is that any different for anyone else. I think back in England people would still be doing that. Brenda leaves Joseph and me, but she doesn't go far. She goes behind the bar and rests her body on the concrete floor; it's time for a nap. “Brenda there's work to do,” I shout to her. I think she swore at me. They will be working past midnight; by the time she gets home it is maybe one in the morning depending on what clientele they have.
It's time for another visit to the pit, my bladder is bursting. Walking across to the pit I meet George, he's a doctor at the local hospital. “Hello George, day off today?” “Hello Ben, no a few hours break.” He can only be doing one thing here. “You have a lady for the afternoon?” “yes, don't tell the wife, ha-ha,” “my lips are sealed George.” His wife is aware of his antics, it's common knowledge that she's doing the same thing. A few of the locals in the bar have shared her bed. “OK enjoy your afternoon and don't forget the condom,” “I have just been out to buy some,” “there are plenty behind the bar George, bye.” I walk on over to the pit leaving Doc George to enjoy his flesh.
Walking back across the courtyard to the bar I hear the noises coming from Doctor George's room, he has a noisy girl there. In the bar there's another customer, it's not a face I know. “Hello sir, how are you?” the person greets me, I return the greeting.
The clock is telling me that it's two in the afternoon, that's the time I stop drinking this bloody local stuff and go onto beer. “Joseph, a beer please,” “the usual Mr Ben?” “yes and make sure it's cold.”
I go over and sit with the new face, “Hi my name is Ben,” “Nice to meet you Mr Ben, my name is Morris.” Morris is working for some aid agency he tells me, he is a financial manager. He is just passing through and will just be staying for one night. “Are you staying here?” “yes I have a room in the back.” This place can be very noisy, especially when football is on; I'm not sure how people manage to sleep. Morris finishes his soda, he tells me he has an appointment, which could be at the back with a girl. I wish him well and he disappears through the back doorway.
Looking up I watch the fan rotate, it does little to cool me. Sometimes a wind blows in from the flat arid land to the west of the town, when this happens it can feel quite cool. Like anything good it's always followed by something bad. The wind blows the dust everywhere, your eyes, your hair, your clothes, it gets everywhere.
I'm joined by Greengage; he lives on the street and seems to be a mental case. His name derives from the green lumps of skin hanging from his foot around the ankle area. The wounds are eating him away, you have to feel sorry for him really, no family, no help, even the church has given up. “Hello Mr Ben, can you help me?” “not today Greengage, I have nothing.” What a liar I am, he has nothing, I have lots. He sits on the floor looking dejected. “Joseph, go and buy me some cooked chicken and give it to Greengage,” “ok Mr Ben,” “take him with you.” I give Joseph some money and he takes Greengage with him.
I do love this bar; the people that come here are simple. They put up with what is a tough life but still have a smile on their faces. I could never go back to dull England with its dull bars and dull people.
Something touches my leg, looking down from the bar stool I see a small boy. He lives next door to the bar with his mother in a tiny room. He stands there with two big candles hanging from his nose, there's plenty of dried snot on his cheeks. His tee-shirt is full of holes, he doesn't have any trousers or pants and his feet are bare. “How are you Noah?” “I'm fine,” he mutters in a quiet voice. “Where is mummy?” “sleeping,” he mutters back. This poor little guy is three years old, he's very intelligent but he will have no chance of education unless Lady Luck is on his side. “Ok go back home to mummy,” he shuffles his little feet back outside into the hot sunshine.
Joseph returns and gives me some change. “Did you find him something to eat Joseph?" “yes he is sat in the shade eating.” Poor sod he's probably not eaten for sometime. I don't give him money, he will buy local brew and cause problems.
I'm joined at the bar by Peace; she always comes in at this time to have a chat with me. She will drink two beers and then leave. She's a lovely girl, another one with a sad story to tell. “Good afternoon Mr Ben,” “hello Peace, how are you today?” “I am fine.” She orders her beer, “no work today Peace?” “no Mr Ben, day off.” She works at a small hotel nearby, hard working girl. She was diagnosed with HIV two years ago; she seems to be getting the antiviral drugs. When you look at her she looks good, that's why you have to be so careful here. She's from good stock, her father and mother are doctors, mother now, father is dead. “Are you coming in tonight, it's football?” “No, I hate that game Mr Ben.” I always ask her that question knowing what the answer will be. “You have had your morning medicine Mr Ben?” she means the local brew. “Yes Peace, onto the beer now until nine o'clock this evening and then,” she interrupts me, “whiskey, ha-ha, I know you Mr Ben.” She's correct; she does know me, like most of the locals in here. “You drink too much Mr Ben; it will kill you one day.” She's right it will be the death of me one day.
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Chapter 5
Peace's Story
I was born in this town but when I was three my mother left the hospital here where she worked has a doctor to join my father in the capital city. He was also a doctor in a private hospital there.
My early years were spent in private school twenty miles from the city, I was a boarder. I enjoyed the school; it was run by a European group which had some connection to the church. There were teachers from Europe, they were all very nice teachers, they never got angry with us. The day to day running of the school was done by nuns, admin and especially anything to do with the boarding or sleeping arrangements. I suppose they did not want any of the young hot blooded teachers getting us girls pregnant. This did happen a few times that I know about; one girl was a friend of mine. The teacher disappeared, never came in after weekend leave. I am not sure if he was dismissed or just went back to Europe or maybe arrested by the police.
I was in year nine when my body started to change. Breasts grew out of my chest, my periods started. We had no boys at the school it was all girls, but when we went outside the boys were starting to pay attention to me. Inside the teachers were also paying me some attention, I felt very embarrassed about my body. During the free time when we were allowed off the school grounds, I became friendly with a local boy. This boy became my first boyfriend. He was always trying to touch my breasts but I always resisted him. After six weeks we were not talking to each other, I think he got bored waiting for me to give in to him.
I was i
n my final year; this was exam year when disaster struck. I had been with my boyfriend for one year; he was very patient and very kind. He never pushed me to have sex with him; he told me he could wait. “When you are ready Peace,” I will always remember those words. One weekend I went back to his parent's house, they were away for the weekend. It seemed normal, we kissed but this time I could not stop myself. We had sex with no condom, after I started to cry, he put his arm around me. He told me everything would be ok, I wish I could guarantee that.
Time went by, my first period did not come, a month later the next period also failed to arrive. I was now thinking the worst; my mind was not functioning properly. My school work was suffering; marks were getting lower by the week. One morning I am told to report to one of the sisters for an assessment. The sister told me what I already knew, my studies were not good. She could see that I had some kind of problem; she asked me if it was family. I told her no, and then in the next sentence I told her that I might be pregnant. Tests were arranged and one week later I got the news, I was pregnant. My parents would be so angry with me; If you are pregnant you are automatically excluded from school. I would not be able to finish my exams. My boyfriend did not want anything to do with me, he disappeared from my life.
I was chased from the school and living back with my parents. When they were first told that I was pregnant they were so angry with me, but time seemed to change their stance. When the baby came I was happy to see this small girl in my arms. My mother was good with the baby, she helped me a lot. After one year my daughter left my breast, this meant a new direction in my life. My mother and father sat me down one evening and told me that my daughter would go to stay with my grandma. Grandma lived a long way away, I was so unhappy about this, when would I be able to see her. I was told that I needed to finish my schooling; otherwise I could not get into university. I had no option; my parents had already planned my future for me.